A world you once knew
You take a deep breath as you enter through the gates and wondered through the empty streets of the Alienage. It takes a moment for it to sink in that this was where you once lived many years ago before you were captured and taken to the Circle.
Slowly you take your first steps and look around, you realise that nothing looked so scary and big from when you were small.
"Is something wrong?" you hear Alistair say and you turn to him and nod with a crooked smile on your face as you simply reply
"No, not really" he does not seem to believe you but it looked as if the Templar probably didn't want to pry but you shake off the thought as you and your allies continue their journey into the Alienage.
There was a fight in the path that settled in front and you run, managing to chase the group of elves away. Before you could ask the man who was attacked if he was alright he turns and calls you a 'Knife ears', you never understood why some of the humans were prejudice towards elves and you slowly felt a dagger being pierced in your heart while Alistair and Wynne snapped at the insolent man.
Zevran seemed to know why you were down and taps you on the shoulder as if to give you comfort, it felt nice to have someone comfort you especially with someone who you fought tooth and nail with.
After the frightened human ran off and the others asked if you were alright you just gave them another false smile and said that you were, the journey down the pathway was quite until you hear the sounds of crowds and a giant tree came into view.
"I wonder if you could climb that?" you hear Alistair say and while the thought goes through your mind, an image comes into your head, an image from your younger days as you looked up at the tree and felt as if some of the other Elvin children were making fun of you as they looked down.
Calling you names and saying that you're a Coward and a Weirdo, you felt as if those words hurt you and begin to cry.
The image shifts to a pair of hands reaching out towards you, a little Elvin girl telling you not to heed their words and for once you found a warm smile and a warm feeling caressing your body as you took it.
At this point a name flows into your mind Darrian Tabris but you knew that your name was Yuven Surana and whatever name you had in the past was long gone.
When you wonder to the crowd to see what the commotion was you hear from the shouts and paranoid screams that a plague had erupted in the Alienage and while you listened you noticed an Elvin girl with red hair and brown eyes speaking and you don't know why but you felt as if you've seen her before.
"She seems to be the best choice to get information out of" you hear Zevran say and you seemed a little bit wary of speaking to her.
When the argument between the Terivanter Imperium soldiers and the elves have ended, you approach the girl and when she turns her eyes on you, they appear to be growing wide open, like she was looking at a ghost.
"Darrian?" you hear her say and your companions look at you a bit confused on why she has addressed you with such a name. "Maker's breath is that you?" she asks and you only stare back a little bit shaken at the sudden conversation.
"Are you addressing me?" you find yourself saying and she only grasps your hand and examines the tattoo that you had on your right hand.
"It is you! Only three people I know who have this tattoo!" she tells you and you can only stare at her a little bit shocked, you knew from Head Master Irving that you were picked up from Denerim and had no idea who your father and mother were but dreams plagued your mind night after night informing you of these memories that later in life you dismissed as dreams.
"You are Darrian!" She tells you with a certain voice and you feel as if your world shifted upside down for a moment.
"M-My name is Yuven Surana" you tell her clearly and she looks at you with a puzzled face.
"What has the Circle done to you?" you hear her saying "Have they stripped you of your identity?"
Your identity? You wonder what she meant by that, you always maintained that your name was Yuven Surana, it was the name that Head Master Irving gave you and throughout the coming years you accepted this as your true name.
"You really don't remember me do you?" she seemed truly saddened at this and you could tell that better than anyone. "Don't you remember me? I'm Shianni" she says, placing a hand onto her chest walking close to you and all you could do was stare. "We use to play together when you were younger with my brother Soris and your little sister Kallian, remember?"
The images reappear in your mind, a tiny bit clearer only this time you remember a young boy elf, another girl elf with bright ash blond hair and an older female elf who looked down on you with a kind hearted smile calling you her 'Most precious treasure'
"Your father hasn't been the same since you were taken away by the Chantry and your younger sister became a Grey Warden" more images begin to make themselves known to you.
You remember the day the Chantry took you away, you looked towards an old Elvin man who looked as if he was ashamed of you while the young girls cried and the young boy just looked on trying his best to get free from another elf's grasp like he was going to help you.
Back then you remember the eyes on the man, the gaze of shame and disappointment were what struck and scared you the most as a child. The feeling of being rebuked and looked at as if you're a monster was more horrifying to you at that time than anything else, being betrayed by the one who claimed to be your father and you had no idea where the woman with the kind hearted smile vanished too.
Out of shock and fear you thought it would be best to forget everything because it scared you to death. Yet the only thing that hasn't left you through the years was that gaze and only that gaze that still slithered its way into your mind and clouded your judgement when you were a child.
One night in the Circle you even remembered crying and the anger that swelled up inside you from why didn't the man that claimed to be your father just stood back and never even attempted to help? You remember this very well because it was also the night when your rage got the better of you and you pounded your fists against the cold stone walls as flames began to erupt from swelled, battered hands and your body being swallowed up by red flames.
Head Master Irving was passing by chance and witnessed your outburst, wrapping his arms around you, you couldn't tell if it was from exhaustion or maybe Irving casted a spell that would make you sleep but you suddenly felt weak and sleepy as you drifted off feeling light headed and tired. The next day Irving counselled you and told you of why it was that the man would not help yet you still felt betrayed and it was probably at that time that Irving decided that it would be best if you were separated from the other mages and kept under his care for a while.
It was probably at that time that you considered Irving to be your father than the man before who claimed to be.
"I have no father" you simply reply and you can see the hurt in Shianni's eyes and after that you were able to get information out of her about what was happening in the Alienage, that a plague came and that some of the elves that came in, never came out again which was odd.
So you agreed to help Shianni but as you move to a corner with the others you could tell that she was not going to give up.
"So what was all that 'Darrian' stuff about?" Alistair asks and all you could think of to say was:-
"I have no idea"
Wynne and Zevran on the other hand did not seem to be fooled by the reply and looked at each other with worry and you knew they were not going to buy that excuse yet they did not ask you a question back.
You all decide to take a moment away from the elves and find more clues, you and Zevran decided to have a look round the back while Alistair and Wynne was going to check the rest of the area.
While you both looked around, the atmosphere became a bit awkward as you could feel the Assassin's eyes on you and for some reason it made you very nervous. It was almost maddening and when you were about to see if someone, one of the elves left a trail, the sound of footsteps coming towards you caught your ear and you saw Antivan leather boots staring at your vision.
Nervously you stared up and saw the seriousness in Zevran's gaze, it wasn't the usual childish antics or the joker, and he was truly bothered by something and needed to talk to you urgently.
"Is something wrong?" you find yourself asking and all Zevran could do was tug at your arm, pulling it up rashly along with the rest of your body. It hurt and you felt a hiss escape your lips, your eyes met his as if staring him down for an explanation but his gaze was stronger and you felt yourself quiver.
"We need to talk" he tells you seriously and the only thing you found yourself doing was looking downward to your boots. "You've been a little shaky since that woman called you Darrian" for a moment you thought he sounded a bit jealous but then shock it off as being ridiculous.
"But I'm not Darrian" you find yourself repeating, shaking his hand off "I'm Yuven" you tell him, more to assure yourself then Zevran.
At the moment you feel like a mess, your heart began to ache and hurt at the thought of being someone else other than you, yet there was this feeling inside you that there were moments when someone other than Yuven festered, he felt his anger and rage erupt whenever there were things that scared or frightened him, the frightened Yuven.
"I know but you did say that there were moments when you find yourself dreaming of from when you were not in the Circle" he reminded you, from one of your moments in the tent together. "Could it be possible that, that Shianni could be who she said she is?"
You shake your head "Don't be silly" you tell him straight "Those were dreams" you tell him clearly and for a moment Zevran gasped and looked slightly afraid, worried even and raised his hand and caressed his fingers around your wrist.
"Yuven, calm down" he tells you softly and for a moment your mind snaps back into reality.
"Sorry" he just replies back with a smile and pulls you close, arms wrapped round your shoulders and a light peek on the forehead. You found your body heat up and your face turning into bright crimson, feeling his hand running through your hair managed to calm your nerves and fears if only for a moment.
"If you have doubts my friend, my one and only, at least let me give you the comfort that I for one know that your name is Yuven and if you do happen to be this Darrian then I would still love you either way" at that moment you felt something swell inside and felt droplets about to fall from your cheeks. The feel of his leather armour gave you comfort as you buried your head into his chest.
You wanted to say thank you and you wanted to do something for him yet if you asked him if there was something he wanted then Zevran would surely say to you 'You've already done so much for me, let me do this for you' yet it felt as if you've done nothing at all.
"T-" before you could thank him, he brings your lips together and kisses, bringing butterflies in your stomach and left you feeling breathless. When you both broke apart, your fingers touched your lips and for a moment you felt a little happy and excited. This gave you a familiar feeling of warmth that you found and your mind travels back to a time with the woman with the kind hearted smile.
'My precious treasure, I won't let anyone take you or your little sister away' she would whisper, petting your hair as you gently went to sleep. 'I won't let anyone hurt you, I will always love you my little star'
As the memory faded from you mind you felt a calm warmth.
And you for once hoped that this feeling did not leave you.
You didn't want it to leave.
But until you find the other elves you will have to let this feeling go for a while and move on.
And just when you did let it go you turned round and found a Terivanter mage looking down on you with dark eyes as his lips opened and he spoke.
To Be Continued