Sarah stared into the mirror at her dressing table; not studying her actual reflection so much as the subtle marks her life had left upon her. At 34 she had no real need to worry about her looks, although aging was always in the background thoughts of any actress. The fine lines around her eyes and mouth would not be noticeable when she was on stage. Sarah did not resent them as she knew they had formed primarily because she spent so much time laughing and smiling. Who could resent having lived a happy life?

However, in the last few months she hadn't been doing quite as much laughing. Her smiles had not been quite as bright or as genuine as usual. As Sarah stared at her reflection she tried to pinpoint what exactly was different lately, but the answer was not to be found in her reflection. She had finished removing her stage makeup so she shook off the moodiness that was threatening to descend upon her and got ready to leave the theater. The makeup she applied before leaving work was more subtle than her stage look, but still quite dramatic. For a Broadway actress, there was always someone watching. This evening there were only three photographers at the exit along with a dozen or so fans. Thursday performances were usually quieter. Sarah stopped to sign autographs for everyone who had waited before getting into the idling taxi and heading to a restaurant a few blocks away for a late night dinner.

Her two closest friends were waiting when she arrived at the unpretentious little bistro. They liked to get together at least once every few weeks, but this evening was something of a goodbye party as Sarah was leaving New York for a few weeks. Her little brother Toby was no longer so little- he was graduating from MIT- albeit two years earlier than most of his fellow students. Toby had grown up to be exceptionally intelligent and he and Sarah had remained close despite the 15 year difference in their ages. She was attending his graduation in Cambridge this weekend before returning to their childhood home for two weeks. It was the longest break from work she'd taken in over four years.

"Won't it be strange being away from Mark for such a long time?" her friend Candice asked. "After all, you've been dating for almost a year now, right?"

Sarah nodded. "About ten months. This will be the longest we've been apart, but it will give me some time to consider what I want."

"You mean if you want to move in with him?" her other friend Amanda queried.

"I still can't believe you've never lived with a man before," Candice interjected before Sarah could respond. "It's not like you haven't dated enough."

"Wow," Sarah said with a wry smile. "I think I should feel insulted right now. I haven't dated that much. And moving in with someone is a huge step. The next thing you know you're engaged, and then married, and then you're living in the suburbs with two kids and-"

"Whoa," Amanda cut her off. "That's a bit of a leap. Has Mark mentioned marriage?"

"Only hinted at it. Mark is great, but I'm just not sure I'm ready for all that. Something is still… not quite right. I don't know what it is, but I promised him I'd have an answer about getting a place together when I get back from my parent's house."

"He is great," Amanda replied. "But so was Josh, and so was Eric. In a city where is seems like there are no actual nice guys left you've managed to find a whole string of them and yet you let them all go."

'You make it sound like I discard men like tissues. I've just been looking for the right guy." Sarah was beginning to feel slightly defensive. She hadn't planned to spend her last girl's night in New York defending her single status to the twice divorced Candice and the happily married Amanda. Sarah wasn't sure if she ever wanted to get married, but she hardly believed that meant she should forgo dating.

"You know there's no such thing as the perfect man, right?" Candice asked.

"I disagree. I don't believe there's anyone without flaws, but I do think there's someone who is perfect for everyone."

"You mean like soulmates?" Amanda asked. "That's really sweet and all, but I don't know if I agree. Don't get me wrong, I love Brent more than anything, but I don't believe he's the only man on the planet I could ever have married." She paused for a moment and Sarah could tell from the considering look she directed at her that Amanda was about to say something less than flattering. "Sometimes Sarah… sometimes I think you spend so much time in fantasy romances on stage that you don't realize what it's like to be in love in the real world. It's not quite as dramatic as Shakespeare."

Sarah kept her face neutral so that Amanda wouldn't see how much the words had stung. It was not something she would have admitted, even to herself, but she'd had similar thoughts. It was as though her unconscious mind compared every man she dated to some ideal she couldn't quite describe. It also wasn't something she enjoyed having pointed out to her. But instead of letting her friends see how much this thought disturbed her she gave them a slightly snarky smile and said, "You know I haven't done Shakespeare in ages."

They took the hint and moved on to lighter topics. It was after 1 a.m. when they finally headed their separate ways. Sarah was by nature and by profession a night person so rather than head back to her place she made her way to Mark's apartment. She had a key and he was used to her strange hours. They had planned to meet in the morning before she left for Massachusetts, but she knew he wouldn't object to her arriving several hours ahead of schedule. For the rest of their time together before her departure he didn't so much as mention the idea of living together. In his company Sarah was able to relax completely and, if she wasn't blissfully happy, at least the vague feelings of discontent she had experienced earlier were temporarily gone.