Disclaimer: Chicago fire nor the lyrics of the songs in this story belong to me. Unfortunatly, I am not such a genius to create things like that...
''I want to take you somewhere so you know I care And I want to kiss you, make you feel alright
But it's so cold and I don't know where
So I pick you daffodils, in a pretty string
But they won't flower like they did last spring
But I'm just so tired to share my nights
I want to cry and I want to love
But all my tears have been used up''
Dawson hesitated for a moment when she had parked the car in front of his house. His truck was there so he was home. She stepped out, crossing her arms against her chest against the cold wind cutting through the street, blowing her hair in her face. Somehow, she wasn't sure if it was wise to come out here, Casey was a grown man and she was sure he would be able to care for himself. If he wanted any help, he should be able to ask for that, but she wasn't sure if he was okay and if his pride would allow him to ask for help.
Slowly she walked to his door, nearly tripping over the stash of newspapers. Worried, she ran the last few steps to the door, knocking on the glass; ''Casey?'' The curtain were closed, making the nervous feeling in her stomach even worse.
There was no response. Trying to open the door, she was surprised it wasn't locked.
''Casey?''
She walked inside, slowly, not wanting to startle him. A soft sniff sounded around the corner and she wasn't sure again if she should be here. But looking around, she realized that somebody had to see if he was okay. Because he wasn't, not at all. Every horizontal surface was covered by empty plates, empty packing, beer cans and unwashed clothes. The only horizontal surface covered in something else than the mess, was one of the chairs are the dinner table. Although, the man sitting on the chair was nothing more than a heap of misery.
''Casey?'' She softly whispered, the man on the chair slowly turning her way, the sobbing suddenly silent. Casey's eyes were red, his clothes dirty. Slowly he stood up, seemingly confused that Dawson was suddenly standing there. He looked around, at the mess around him.
''Just, nothing makes any sense.'' He mumbled, shaking his head. He felt stupid about saying that, knowing it wasn't an excuse to life like this.
Before he could say something else, something to make her go away he felt two arms around him. For a second he thought about pushing her away, not wanting to pull her to become involved in his sadness.
''I know.'' Gabriela whispered, rubbing her hand over the back of his head.
Without him wanting to, he felt the tears streaming from his eyes into her neck.
''She can't be gone. '' he softly sobbed. It made Dawson's eyes fill with tears as well, knowing she was. Casey had been keeping himself strong at the station, but on the inside he was broken. Suddenly he stood upright again, looking at her, hauling his sleeve under his nose.
''I am okay. '' Only now she realized how bad his breath smelled to alcohol.
''You are not.'' She said, swallowing at the monotone way he was saying it. She walked to the kitchen, looking for a clean glass, returning with a plastic cup with water instead. He was sitting on the chair again, staring in front of him, blankly.
To be honest, she had no idea what to do. He was too stubborn to ever accept her help. Before he could grab the beer bottle he was reaching for, she grabbed his hand. ''Come on, let's get you in bed.'' The dark circles under his eyes made it look like he hadn't slept in days.
''Can't, have to wait for Hallie to get home.'' She bit her lip, not knowing what to say. Casey pulled his arm back.
''Are you tired?'' She tried. He nodded, a little unsure.
''I am sure she doesn't mind, she understand you are tired.'' Before he could protest, she grabbed his upper arm, helping him of the chair, nearly collapsing when he leaned on her on the way to the stairs. Halfway the stairs he stumbled over a stash of books, Dawson nearly falling off the stairs as well. His bedroom was relatively clean compared to the living room and as the bed was still made, she could tell he hadn't been sleeping since Hallie passes away, or at least not in the bed. Casey fell backwards on the bed, only pulling the woolen shirt over his head, leaving her to struggle with his shoes and jeans. He was already asleep when she succeeded at putting a clean pair of sweatpants on and she tucked him in. On the pillow beside him was a neatly folded lace nightgown. Hallie's. Carefully she lifted it up, laying it in the closet, barely touched, so it wouldn't be the first thing he would see in the morning.
Walking downstairs Dawson heard his loud snoring. She sat down for a second at the chair he had been sitting, trying to figure out where to start. She stood up, walking to the windows and throwing the curtains open, letting some of the last sunlight in. Grabbing the big stash of clothes out of the corner she walked into the hallway, looking for a washer. After collecting all of his clothes from the floor she walked back, starting to clean all the beer cans and bottles now. Had he been drinking every evening since Hallie's passing? She couldn't imagine that he had been drunk in the prison, or hangover. But he had been suicidal, claiming that he should be the hostage. What worried her even more was that all the empty plates were still clean and the packages with food were only eaten for a little bit or only opened.
He definitely needed help.
Maybe not hers.
But he needed help.
...
NOTE: A story I wrote in Dutch a few weeks ago, decided to translate it in English and post it.
It is going to be multi-chaptered, although probably not more than ten, but I want to make longer chapters. This is the prologue and I hope you want to read the story!
My other stories will also still be updated, I just like to keep my mind busy on multiple storylines, because if I keep writing the same one to long, I start to run out of ideas.
The song in the beginning is ''Another Love'' by Tom Odell.
Reviews and even more: critique, are very appreciated! I really hope you can leave some! Also, I would love to know if you are interested!Thanks for reading!
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