Week One
Song Inspiration: Cath by Death Cab for Cutie
I can't do this-I can't marry a man that I don't love.
My breathing starts to become labored, my chest tight with panic.
I don't want to do this, but I have no other choice. I'm seventeen, pregnant, and my parents have threatened to throw me on the street if I don't marry him. He's eight years older than me, and already has an established career with no time for relationships. I'm pretty sure my father, the mayor of our small town, bribed him with a handsome "dowry" in exchange for his knocked up teenager.
It's a perfect solution for everyone. My parents save face, and Jasper gets his ready-made family without putting any effort in. Perfect for everyone except me. James said he loved me, but when the stick turned pink two weeks ago, he high-tailed it right out of town. And now I'm left with this situation: marry I man I barely know and raise my child in comfort, or be thrown out on my own to become a welfare mom because I don't even have a high school diploma.
Abortion isn't an option; I personally don't believe in it. I hold no ill will toward those who do go that route, but it's just not for me. Between a rock and hard place is where I am. All I can do is cry, and even that isn't helping any more. Jasper said in our "meet and greet" last week that he'd support me fully in whatever I decided to do, whether it was to continue my education or be a stay-at-home mom forever. This is so not how I pictured my life. I wanted to become a teacher, maybe travel the world after college. I'm just a fucking kid myself, how can I be someone's mother? The panic starts to set back in and I step away from the full-length mirror I've been staring into. The off-white dress swirls around my legs as I rush over to the window, throwing it open for some fresh air.
Placing my hand on my belly, I blink back tears, praying that God will show mercy and show me the right path to take. The door opens slowly, and a head full of blond hair appears. My groom stands before me, with a comforting expression. I quickly wipe my tears, trying to hide them.
"Isn't it bad luck to see your bride before the wedding, Mr. Whitlock?" He moves slowly toward me, as if approaching a wild, hurt animal.
"You don't have to go through with this, Alice," he says quietly, gently placing his hand on my arm.
But I do, don't you see? There is no other option for me.
Instead of speaking those words out loud, and possibly hurting the kindest man I've ever met, I silently shake my head. He takes my hand and places it over his heart, and speaks the words that will embed him in my heart forever.
"I promise that I will always take care of you, and love your child as my own. You have my word, Mary Alice Brandon. Maybe one day you'll learn to love me, and if that day never comes, I'll still be content with merely your presence."
My tension instantly eases and a blanket of calm encases my being. I can do this. Jasper cares about me, why I don't know, but the bottom line is that I know he's a good man and this is the best-the only-choice I can make. Determination steels my spine. I will make the best of my life. There's no other choice.
"I'm ready to marry you, Jasper."