SPOV
Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into this time?! I must have been out of my mind to agree to this! What could I have possibly done you ask? Well let me tell you. First let's start at the beginning.
First of all I started working full-time at Rangeman a month ago. Yes, that means I agreed to let my Merry Men train me. I have to get better at BEA-ing somehow. And why not at least have a great view of some fine male specimens while I'm doing it, eh?
I also just recently learned of the Merry Men's weekly poker game. How did I work with them for so long and not know this? You can guess where this is going right?! Yepp, I agreed to play poker with them this week. Total hardship huh?!
Well they may just wipe the proverbial floor with me. At least I hope I learned something from all those trips to the poker games at Daddy's lodge when I was younger. I really, really hope so at least.
Well, it's 4:00 now and the game starts at 8:00. I need to get myself psyched up, but just how do I do that?
We decided to have this week's game in the largest conference room, since like half the company wanted to get in on it this week, I wonder why? Geez. I guess they all want the chance to kick my poker butt.
Tank is heading up this week's game and allowed me to decide who all could play. Wow, Tank, way to make me feel bad for those I don't choose. Major guilt trip here. But I decided to let some of the guys I don't know that well play. I was finally able to whittle my list down to Tank, (cause he's hosting), Les, Bobby, Hal, Cal, Woody, Ram, Zip, Zero, Manny, and Hector. I really hope I don't regret my decision to invite Hector. Maybe he won't be a sore loser and want to kill me. Yeah, I think Hector likes me too much to do something like that.
I guess I better get back to this last search I got running and worry about the game later.
The computer dings that my search is finished and I hurriedly print it out for Rodriguez. Of course it's his. Maybe he won't be so hard on me tomorrow, yeah right and my Mom will win mother of the year! Sigh.
I begin to shut my computer down since it is now a little after 5:00 and I can quit for the day. Now to head home and start getting ready for the poker game tonight, after I stop at Pino's for dinner that is.
I give the guys on the monitors a finger wave as the elevator takes me down to the garage. I climb in my borrowed Rangeman SUV and hurry to Pino's; my stomach is already rumbling and my mouth is watering just thinking about their meatball subs.
I pull into the only space available in my parking lot, by the dumpster, get out of the vehicle, and trudge my way up the stairs. Damn Bobby for insisting I work out whenever possible.
After wolfing down my sub, I head to the shower. After that's done I pull on a clean pair of jeans and a red T-shirt. Good thing I don't have to dress up to impress my Merry Men! At least not unless there's a distraction involved, but then again that's work.
I'm dressed and out the door and back at Rangeman by 7:30. Wow, I'm actually early for something. Too bad it's my own execution in the form of poker with the guys. Oh well, hopefully they won't be too hard on me.
I take the stairs up to the second floor, just in case Bobby is watching. I walk into the conference room and it looks like most of the guys are already there. After a quick head count I see I am right. The only one missing is Lester.
The large wooden table in the middle of the conference room is set up with poker chips, coasters for the drinks, and an un-opened deck of cards in the center. Off to the side against the far wall is another long table laden down with drinks and Ella's wonderful food.
"Hey guys, what are the stakes for tonight? Are we just using the chips? I hope we're not playing for real money. You guys would probably clean out my entire shoe fund I've been saving up." I tease.
"Damn! I thought we were playing strip poker Beautiful!" I hear Les joke as he walks through the door.
"In your dreams Santos!" I yell back.
"You know you always are Beautiful." He says with a signature Santos eyebrow wiggle.
I can only roll my eyes at him. Good thing Tank takes the opportunity to speak up now.
"No, Santos we will not be playing strip poker. None of us want to see your ugly ass naked! We're just playing for fun. Don't worry Little Girl, the chips are just for show and to keep track of who's out and when." He explains.
"OK, I think I can handle that." I answer aloud while thinking to myself. 'Crap, I was looking forward to wiping the table with these guys. My Dad taught me how to play and how to win.'
I look around at the guys and see that no one is looking at me funny so I guess I was able to keep my thoughts to myself this time. Go me!
"Alright, let's get the party started and let the chips fly!" I hear Woody's southern drawl proclaim.
We all choose a seat and get down to business. Tank opens up the new deck of cards and starts to deal out the first hand.
"Shuffle up and deal." Ram states. I laugh out loud at him and grin slyly.
The first twelve hands go smoothly. Everyone is getting the feel for everyone else. I am also beginning to learn a few of the guys tells. Hal blushes when he's bluffing. Cal rubs his chin when he's got a good hand. Manny licks his lips when he has a decent hand. Tank cracks his knuckles when he's bluffing. I still haven't noticed anything about Lester or Woody yet though. And Hector has the world's best poker face, I don't know what the hell is going on in his head!
After a few more hands we finally lose the first players. Zip and Zero both tried to bluff me out. Zip with a pair of 3's and Zero with high card. I knocked them out of the running with a set of ladies, that's three Queens for those of you who don't know poker terminology.
Next to leave with his tail between his legs was Ram. I barely beat him with dueling straights, his was a 3-7 and mine was 5-9. Whew! Then Tank got knocked out by Hector with Ace high spade flush. Then Woody took Bobby and Cal out with a 4-8 heart straight flush. Then Hector fell his second victim, Manny, with a set of Aces. Then Hal shocked us all when he threw down the gauntlet to Woody and drove him away with the second Ace high flush of the night, this time diamonds. Shortly after which Les got lucky and knocked out Hal. But it was me who finally took Hector down for the night with 4 Jacks.
Now that leaves just Les and I dueling to the death. Lester looks over the table at me with a smug smile on his face. I decide to take him down a notch or twelve! I give him my best innocent look with an accompanying smirk as I taunt.
"So Santos, you want to make things interesting?"
"How do you propose we do that Beautiful?" He wonders.
"Last hand. Winner takes all, but no more chips. I say put you chips where your smart ass mouth is. We each write down a dare for the other to do. Rules are simple. One, no nudity; two, nothing dangerous; and lastly nothing illegal. What do you say?" I inquire.
He takes a moment to answer as we look at our cards. Then with a heart-melting grin on his face and laughter sparkling in his green eyes, he begins to speak.
"I'll take that wager Beautiful."
Tank brings us both slips of paper and a pen to write down our wagers. We both take a moment or two to think up the perfect thing. I am recalling a movie I saw last week and it brings a flash of inspiration. I start to write hurriedly with an evil smirk on my lips. I glance up and see an equally evil smirk on Lester's face. Ut oh, I may be in trouble.
We both fold up our wagers and lay them in the middle of the table with our names on the outside of the slips. Hal then deals out the draw cards we request; one for me and two for Les.
As I look down at my cards it takes every ounce of energy I can muster to keep my poker face up. I look over to Les and see his blank face is also in place. But I do notice that several of the guys standing behind or near Les are openly smiling broadly. I am not intimidated, I know I got his cute ass just where I want him. I throw out an additional challenge to the rest of the room.
"OK, if you all think Les has me beat, why don't you join in his wager. My bet can be done by every single one of you, not just Les."
I receive affirmative answers all around, except for Hector who is too smart to fall for it. The rest of them all nod in agreement and answer "yes" and "absolutely Bomber". They are all going down!
I finally allow my huge smile to show as I tell them.
"Alright Les, let's see 'em. Lay your cards on the table and prove to the whole room how dumb you really are!"
Les turns his cards over with a flourish showing a damn fine hand of a full house, 10's over Queens. I let a look of disappointment flash over my face before I put Les out of his misery and lay my cards down, showing my hearts; all 5 of them; 8 through Queen, a Queen high straight flush!
Les and the rest of the guys have looks of total disbelief on their faces when I show my hand, all but Hector who is doubled over with laughter.
"Damn Bomber, your new nickname should be 'Jaws'. I never knew you were such a card shark!" Bobby says since he was the first to find his voice again.
"Oh shit," Les grumbles. "I hate to see what her deviant brain came up with as a dare for us. You know you all have to do it too now. Sorry about that ... not! Misery loves company."
"Do the honors Big Guy." I tell Tank.
Tank picks up the slip of paper with my name on the outside, opens it up, and reads it silently. I swear he starts to pale the further he reads.
"Well what does it say Tank?" Ram asks.
I take the slip of paper out of Tank's hand while he is momentarily rendered speechless. I begin to read off what I have written.
"In true honor of being my 'Merry Man' you must perform a song from the movie "Robin Hood - Men in Tights". The song I choose is "We're Men in Tights". You must sing and dance while wearing the FULL costume. I will, of course, be recording the event for prosperity."
"Wait, I've never seen that movie. What do we need to sing?" Hal asks quietly.
"Can someone ask Hector to bring me a laptop?" I say.
Manny translates for me, like he's been doing all night long. Hector quickly exits the room and returns with his personal laptop.
I boot it up and find the video on youtube to show Hal and a couple of others who agree that they haven't seen the film either. I turn the computer to face the guys and press "play". They all watch with horror and repulsion on their faces.
"Oh holy hell!" Cal cries.
"I am NOT doing that! They're wearing pantyhose!" Zip sputters.
"They're wearing tights, dumb ass, not pantyhose. And we agreed to do it. Man up!" Les argues.
I can't help but giggle as I think, 'I will definitely be able to tell you are all men in those tights and probably be able to tell just how much of a man each of you is.'
Most of the guys start chuckling, except for Les, who has a lecherous grin on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows. I must have said that out loud, oh well, it's true, so I just laugh right along with them.
"OK Darlin' so just when do we have to show you our manhood? Or more accurately lose most of it, at the very least we'll lose a few points on our man cards for this." Woody states in his sexy southern drawl.
"How about next week? That will give me plenty of time to get everything set up and give you all time to get your costumes together and maybe practice some so you don't make complete asses out of yourselves." I add while they all groan at me.
"Sure, that OK with everyone else?" Cal asks.
The rest of the guys nod in unison. Oh boy! This is going to be epic!
The next week
Oh my God this week has went by excruciatingly slow. At last it is Friday again and it's the day I get to watch my Merry Men sing and dance in tights. I have been waiting all week for this and my patience is about to pay off big time.
We decided to do it at Rangeman so the guys are a little more comfortable. Seeing as they will be wearing tights they will already be uncomfortable enough so I agreed to their demand. I will be receiving my payment in the form of a permanent video of the hilarity that is sure to ensue.
I walk into Rangeman and head straight for the elevator to the gym, where we decided to do this. It's one of the largest rooms in the building and I must admit, it has great acoustics.
Some of the guys are already in costume milling around on the mats. I stroll over and ask them as I wave my cell phone at them, camera at the ready.
"So you guys ready to get this show on the road or what?"
"As ready as we'll ever be Beautiful. We have actually practiced a few times this week when we had time. And I have to tell you Zero has absolutely NO sense of rhythm." Les laughs.
"Fuck you Santos!" Zero yells. I can only shake my head in amusement.
"So where are Tank and Hal?"
"They're still trying to squeeze into their tights. I guess it's harder for the bigger guys to get into them. How in the hell do you women do it? I must have fought with these things for like 20 minutes to get them on!" Ram answers.
"Now you know why I'm glad to have a job where I don't have to wear pantyhose anymore." I say matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, now we understand." Zip says as Tank and Hal finally emerge from the locker room area.
I can't help but ask Tank as he approaches. "How did they find tights that fit you Big Guy?" It looked to me like they barely fit him.
"OK let's get this torture over with." Tank sighs. "I'm beginning to lose feeling in my legs from these damn things."
The guys shuffle over to the middle of the mats and get into position. I take a few moments to appreciate the view as they walk away from me. I must admit the view was awesome. But the view from the front was even better. I was right. I can tell just how manly they are. And let me tell you, all of my Merry Men are truly blessed! I stealthily check my chin for drool.
I am giddy with excitement as I hear the music start up. The next three minutes are pure heaven for me and my camera on my phone is catching every second. Not to mention every shake of the hips and the kicks too! I listen closely to make sure they all are singing and are not mucking up the words.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tigggghts.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies,
but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
(dance sequence)
We're men, manly men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies,
but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights, tight tights!
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
Just go for the men in tights, we bunch!
I am about to lose it now. This is too funny for words. By the end of the song they all look relieved and are rushing to the locker room to get out of costume. I can't say I blame them, those tights are uncomfortable as all get out.
Tank is the first one back. It took him less than a minute to get back. I laugh as I tell him.
"You're back fast. I guess tights are easier to come out of than to get into."
"I'll be honest with you Little Girl, I cut the damn things off!"
I laugh out loud at him. I can so see him doing that! Hell I wonder why the rest of them weren't that smart! When the rest return several minutes later, I just have to tease and ask them.
"So you all want to play poker again tonight?!"
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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this bit of fun with the MM. I watched the movie "Robin Hood - Men in Tights" and had a flash of inspiration of how funny it would be to see the MM singing and dancing that song. I am however writing a second chapter with the other outcome of the poker game where the MM win. I'm taking a vote to see how many want to see that outcome too. Please leave a review and let me know if there's any interest in seeing it. Thanks as always for reading and reviewing my stories. You all are the reason my fingers keep flying across the keyboard.
Rain (Jackie) :-)