Whose Ramen is it anyway?

by Firan25

Whose Line is it anyway? with Inuyasha chars. Rated M for swearing, mature situations,Intense Randomness, and yaoi/yuri references R&R plz.

Whose Ramen is it anyway?
An Inuyasha fanfic
By: Firan25

(Notes from the author) Some of the many things I found about Inuyasha are the facts that

1.Its comical…sometimes
2. Lots of bloody fights
3. The girls are hot…(Well just Sango and Kagome)
4. Monks are perverts

So I thought...hot girls, perverted holy men, and an insane demon mutt who enjoys big swords, young girls and dead priestesses. The first thing I thought was: "this'll make a good Jerry Springer rip-off" but then I thought about it and decided to go with a "Whose line is it anyway?" Spoof dealing with four of the characters doing the comedy and 2 as the hosts (I decided 2 to make it more interesting .) so here you go "Whose Ramen is it anyway?" with your hosts Shippo and Rin!
(P.s. I do not own Inuyasha, and "Whose line is it anyway?" belongs to ABC™ and the great country of Britain (the original creators.) and any other characters mentioned in this story belong to their respective owners.)

Opening Music

Shippo: "Hello everyone! And welcome to 'Whose Ramen is it anyway?' on tonight's show..."

Rin: "The cute, the cuddly, the Cruel...and my companion, Sesshomaru!"

Shippo: "Past! Future! Past! Future! She can't decide! Kagome!"

Rin: "The powerful Monk with the stinky hand. Miroku!"

Shippo: "and... A big heart with an even bigger head Inuyasha!"

Shippo: "Hey this is Shippo!"

Rin: "And Rin!"

Both: "come on down let's have some fun!"
:They run down the stairs trip on a wire and tumble to the floor. Laughs are heard through the audience. Sessy and Kagome rush to the aid of the children and carry them to they're seats behind the desk.

Shippo: "Thanks Kagome! Hey this is..."
He looks at Rin then pokes her in the side and she wakes up suddenly.

Rin: "What? Where? Oh! Are we on?"

Shippo: "Yes Rin remember your lines?"

Rin: "Yes!"

Shippo: "Ok!" :clears his throat: "Hey! Welcome to 'Whose Ramen is it anyway?' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right the points are like after shave to Kagome's legs!"
:Little laughter is heard and Kagome chuckles slightly, Sessy, Miroku, and Inuyasha have puzzled looks on they're faces.:

Rin: "Well anyway if this is your first time watching the show the rules are simple. The scenes to the show are on these cards here, lifts up cards and they points to the group in the seats are gonna come down and try to perform it for you the best they can. And after every round we're going to give them points!"

Shippo: "which really don't matter mind you. They're about as useless as a certain monk with a cursed hand!"

Miroku: "Hey!"

Shippo: "Just kidding! Your just above useless..."

Inuyasha: "haha you got owned Miroku!"

Miroku: "don't make me open my wind tunnel..."

:The room falls silent:

Rin: "Ok! Well you guys want to start the first game and see how it goes?"

:Cheers are heard:

Shippo: "Ok first game is 'Dating show!' this is for all four of you"

:Sessy, Kagome, Miroku, and Inuyasha come down:

Rin: "Sessy, Miroku, and Inuyasha, are contestants in a dating type show, and one of them is going to be picked by Kagome! But unfortunately they aren't bachelor's you'd usually expect"

Shippo: "Now your personalities are on those cards there and you have to act that particular way. And Kagome, at the end of the game is gonna try and figure out who they are"

: Inuyasha rips his card in half:

: Miroku laughs:

: Sessy looks at Shippo and tosses his card in his face:

Shippo: "Ouch! Well anyway Kagome whenever your ready please begin!"

Kagome: "OK..." with a preppy type voice "like ok! Like y'know bachelor Number...uh..." counts on her fingers " uh...oh yea 1!"

: Giggles like crazy:

Kagome: "Like y'know if you would like take me on like a date where would you take me?"

Inuyasha: "What was the question?"

Kagome: "uh...I don't know!"

: Giggles some more:

Inuyasha: :Characters from Final Fantasy 7: "Well I would take you...on a glorious trip around the world. First to..." looking like he's seeing something. "Dammit! Shut up spiky! The Turks are attackin'!" :Lifts his fist up and pumps it wildly like a machinegun " DIE MOTHA FUCKA'S!" :He then Quickly sits back in the seat...like a woman with a skirt on: :trying to speak like Tifa:. "Calm down you bullet ridden buffoon." :Flips his hair back and gets a sensual look on his face: "Well first off I'd take you to a strip club and jiggle them!"

: Shakes his body sensually.:

: Cheers are heard in the audience mostly from the guys:

:The Real Tifa Lockheart flips him off:

Kagome: :Blushing Profusely: "great! I just love silicone!"

: Laughter is heard:

:Tifa looks at Kagome and even though inaudible it is clear she is saying "their real":

:Cloud squeezes them and is immediately sucker punched by Tifa.:

Kagome: "Whatever! like ok! Um bachelor number uh...2!"

Miroku: "What?"

Kagome: "like if I had a doggy treat would you A. hump my leg. B. Hump my leg or C. piss on my foot then hump my leg?!"

Miroku: :Inuyasha after receiving the power of X-ray vision: :speaking like Inuyasha: "Well let's see…that's very tempting…" :The camera shifts to Inuyasha who's still smiling slightly he then cocks his head in confusion: "We'll first I'll" :looks at his hand:
"Whoa Kaede really outdid herself this time...well anyway I'd..."

: Looks at Kagome:

"Damn...": Starts panting: "do you always where nothing under your clothes? And who's Billy?"

: Insane laughter is heard and Kagome's mouth drops:

Miroku: "Who's Billy and why's his name on your titty?"

:More laughter:

Miroku: "Well anyway..." :looks at Inuyasha who's still cross-legged: "uh" :Pokes at his chest: "are those real?"

Inuyasha: :Mock punches Miroku in the face and gets out of his seat knocking it over: speaking like Cid

"What in tarnations wrong with you boy? Have ya no respect fer your elders? I outta take you ova my knee right now and lay one into yer backside!"

:sets the chair back right and sits down lighting an invisible cigarette:

Insane laughter is heard and Cloud nods his head in agreement:

Cloud: "He sound's just like him"

Kagome: :still blushing: "okay! Uh anyway...uh…final bachelor!"

Sessy: "What do you wish of me?"

Kagome: "ooh how proper! Anyway! If I was injured what would you use to cure me?"

Sessy: :GAY: :speaking flamboyantly: "oh please honey! You have no idea what I'm capable of!" :looks at

Miroku: "hello sailor!" :he hops in his lap: "Where have you been all my life?"

:Shrieks are heard from the Yaoi fangirls:

Miroku: :smiles slightly then looks down at his crotch: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH YOUR NOT A WOMAN!" :Drops Sessy on the ground and runs out of the room Sessy trailing behind him and running flamboyantly:

Sessy: "Come back! I'll give you the full body treatment!"

:Insane laughter followed by shrieks as the buzzer sounds:

:Normal Sessy and Normal Miroku return to they're seats:

Shippo: "Sell it seems Sessy has come out of the closet"

Sessy: "fuck you Shippo"

Shippo: "No thank you"

Rin: "Anyway Kagome who, what, why, where?"

Kagome: "Well I wouldn't want to go out with Bachelor Number 1 because he's I'm guessing a Cross-dresser with an attitude problem?"

Rin: "nope!"

Kagome: "um… then I guess the characters from final fantasy?"

Rin: "which one?"

Kagome: "uh...7?"

Shippo and Rin: "Right!"

Kagome: "yes! Ok I wouldn't want to go with Bachelor number 2 because he's a peeping tom...wait he already is... um then he probably Inuyasha with the power to see through people's clothes?"

S&R: yes!

Kagome: "weird...and Sesshomaru is his alter ego!"

S&R: "Cool!"

: They all return to they're seats:

Sessy: "what the hell do you mean alter ego?"

Kagome: :shrugs:

Rin: "Anyway our second game is 'Scenes from a hat!'"

:Loud cheers are heard:

Shippo: :pulling out a hat and shuffling the papers inside: "this is for all four of you!: Sesshomaru and Miroku go to one side and Inuyasha and Kagome to the other: " now we have collected suggestions from the audience…"

Rin: "We picked the good ones…"

Shippo: "Right most of them sucked. And our job is to pull them out and read them off, and they'll try they're best to perform it starting with" :Opens one: 'if Inuyasha and Kagome had a baby'"

:Inuyasha and Kagome come out and Kagome pretends to have a baby in her hand:

Inuyasha: "Awwww… HEY! why does she look like Miroku?!"

:Laughter is heard as Inuyasha stomps off:

:Sessy and Kagome comes out Kagome does the same pose:

Sessy: "I shall call him…mini me!..."

:Laughter:

:Miroku comes out with Kagome and she does the same pose:

Miroku: "damn...I didn't know doggy style would bring out bitch children..." :Kagome mock slaps him and they return.:

Shippo: "'Kagome on an off day"

Inuyasha: :trying to sound like Kagome:...Inuyasha...SIT BOY!" :He falls to the floor and then gets back up: "Ow...that wasn't supposed to happen" :walks back:

:Laughter:

Miroku: :sounding like Kagome: "I love you so much Inuyasha" :blinks five times: "Sango? What the?...oh never mind your pillows are softer" :smiles and walks off:

:Kagome walks over and kicks him in the nuts:

:Insane laughter:

Sessy: sounding like Kagome: He lurches forward and screeches: "Miroku!" :gets a satisfied look on his face: nevermind…" :smiles lecherously:
: Insane laughter and shrieks from the Yaoi fangirls as Inuyasha rushes over and tries to backhand Sessy unsuccessfully:

Kagome: :sighs: "Damn it to hell I forgot my tampons!"

:Insane laughter Sessy, Miroku and Inuyasha are puzzled again:

Rin: "ok… 'what the performers are thinking right now"

Inuyasha: :stares blankly: "What was the suggestion?"

:Laughter fills the room:

Sessy: "I'll get you my pretty and that little mutt too!" :evil laugh:
:Laughter:

Miroku: :sounding like that big black guy from South Park: "GOD DAMN! THAT'S A BIG FAT ASS!"

:Insane laughter:

Kagome: :makes wind like sounds after a few seconds people start to chuckle: "C'mon think of something already! The audience is waiting!"

:More insane laughter:

Shippo: "Ok! "Rejected episodes of "Inuyasha"

Inuyasha: "Inuyasha: 'the curse of the sacred 20" penis!'"

:Insane laughter:

Sessy: "'Inuyasha and the 30 minute Tribute to the word SIT!'"

:Insane laughter:

Miroku: "Inuyasha episode 666! Look at the number bitches it's self-explanatory!"

:Minor laughter:

Kagome: "Inuyasha episode 69! Doggy humps future girl part 1"

:Insane laughter:

Inuyasha: "Inuyasha episode 6,455,283! 'Why the fuck are we still on the air?'"

:Insane laughter:

Miroku: "Inuyasha home edition!"

Shippo: "Ok we'll be back after the break for more 'Whose Ramen is it anyway?'"

(Commercial)

"When you have Gas, the bloating, the swelling, everything seems to be out of proportion. Just call our 1-800 number! 1-800-sit-on-it! Where our number 1 spokes person Kagome will tell you to 'sit" and all that gas will come out like a hoard of demons from a freshly split mountain. That's 1-800-sit-on-it! Where gas. Is a thing of the Feudal past!"

(Commercial 2)

"Are you having a hard time keeping it up? Are you considered blunt, and unshined?, is your little katana to small as to not even impress a 5 yen an hour concubine? Then you need our number 1 male enhancement formula!
Tes-guyga! When you want to sheath your weapon it's good to know that it's able to fit again and again for that shiny finish that leaves you and your partner breathless! Tesguyga! (available in different flavors, and colors, if erection last longer than 4 hours seek as many women as possible and have your way with them. If it lasts longer than 4 years, Seek medical treatment from a female nurse and get an oral examination. Not sold in stores for a logical reason. And sale to minors is prohibited.) Tesguyga! The feudal way to keep your sword sharp!"

(commercial 3)

Getting all of your favorite anime and video game characters to get together in one room: 1,645,233 yen
Having a bunch of anime and video game characters under your control and doing ridiculous things for free:….priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's imagination (lmao!)

:Theme music:

Shippo: "Hello! and welcome back to "Whose Ramen is it anyway?" where everything's made up and the points don't matter!"

Rin: "Yup! And during the break Shippo just confessed something!"

Shippo: (looking confused) "I did?…"

Rin: :nods: "Yup! You said you wanted Kagome to be your mom!"

:The audience "awwwwwww" 's and Kagome Blush's:

Kagome: "Really Shippo?"

Shippo: "Aren't you the one who said that Rin?"

Rin: :stares blankly: "Anyway! On to our next game!"

Shippo: :shakes his head: "Whatever…"

Squall: … "That's my line"

Shippo: "Sorry Squall. Anyway our next game is 'scene to music'"!

Rin: "This is for Sessy and Inuyasha!"

:Sessy and Inuyasha come down:

Shippo: "In this game you two are going to be performing a scene together."

Rin: "We'll provide the music of course."

Shippo: "Yea I forgot about that part. We'll provide the music for you!"

Rin: "I just said that"

Shippo: "Whatev…" :looks at squall who is tapping lightly on his gunblade:

Rin: "nuff said"

Shippo: "Anyway…"

Rin: "You said that already"

Shippo: "SHUT UP!" :Tackles her and they get into a slap fight under the table Kagome rushes over and separates them:

Kagome: "Play nice! Or no cookies!"

S&R: "Sorry…"

Inuyasha: "Can we get on with this already?"

Shippo: "Sorry :sighs: long story short, Music will be provided and the scene they're performing is like an old detective spoof "

Rin: "Remember guys when your talking OOC (out of character) you must walk up toward the audience and speak directly to them."

Shippo: "And only one at a time"

Rin: "We need a suggestion from the audience for an everyday place for people to meet at… "
:some useless suggestions are heard then one sticks out:

S&R : "STRIP CLUB!"

:Kagome falls backward out of her chair laughing, the only thing you see of her is her legs kicking in the air. Miroku is cursing himself because Kagome is wearing shorts and not her usual Skirt. Inuyasha and Sessy once again have confused looks on them. The Yaoi fangirls shriek in agreement and some faint due to bloodloss (due to the nosebleeds) :

Rin: "Ok so you guys are meeting at a strip club. The game is scene to music…take it away whenever your ready!"

Inuyasha: :sighs: "I still can't believe I'm doing this"

Sessy: :rolls his eyes.: "As long as I get my sword back I'll do anything"
:old 50's detective music plays:

:Inuyasha acts like he has a cigarette in his mouth, and Sessy starts pretending like he's putting on lipstick.:

:Shrieks of laughter are heard from the females in the audience:

Inuyasha: (ooc) :tries to sound like a smarmy detective but fails and winds up sounding like Sean Connery: "It was a day like any other instead it wasn't….I blacked out in the street somewhere and wound up here…exactly where I wanted to be in the first place. I heard that Fingers "foshizzle" Skeet-Skeet magoo was working here." :smiles as laughter kind of drowns him out.: "The man who…destroyed my Evanescence CD was in here somewhere…I wondered if he recognized me…or not…it was pretty hard not to forget a face as handsome as mine. (IC) "Are you Fingers magoo?"

Sessy: (ooc) "I wonder how he found me, the ugly pig faced buffoon. :laughs are heard: of course no one could forget that face. It's the face your mother would slap the doctor 500 times with a wiffle bat and ask for her money back after the procedure. Of course, that's what she did. I guess he believes I destroyed his Evanescence CD. But unfortunately he didn't realize it was in my back pocket." (IC) "Never heard of him…":acts like he's putting on some underwear immediately followed by shrieks from insane Yaoi fangirls:

Inuyasha: (Still IC) "k thanks" (OOC) "I knew it was him. No one could forget that undeniable stench of a blood hound mixed with a….carburator from a 77' Ford mustang" :Insane laughter: "How it happened and how I know about a 77' ford mustang …will remain a mystery. But I did know one thing, I noticed the perpetual figures of a woman who looks like vampire goddess sticking out of his back pocket " (IC) "Then what's this?!" :Mock snatches the CD case out of Sessy's back pocket:

Sessy: (still IC) "So you figured it out." (ooc) "I don't know how he figured out if was there….probably it showed when I decided to wear Black leather pants today…or maybe it was the fact that…..well maybe it was the pants. But I did know one thing. He didn't notice the shotgun I had hidden in my pant leg.'

Inuyasha: (ooc) "Of course I knew about the shotgun in his pant leg it was obvious because he was wearing those leather pants. That's how I figured out he had the CD in the first place. Lucky I brought my shaved duck along."

:insane laughter is heard followed by the buzzer:

:Inuyasha and Sessy return to their seats.:

Shippo: "You know Inuyasha that was the best impression of Sean Connery I've heard in a while."

Inuyasha: "Who?"

Shippo: "Nevermind"

(Before I continue I would like to apologize for any Evanescence fans reading this, I love the band Evanescence and respect Amy Lee for her vocal talents and lyrical prowess. SO once again I apologize for saying that she looks like a vampire goddess. But honestly every time I see her she looks just like that…and I wouldn't mind getting bitten by her. -)

Rin: "Our next game is. Hats! And this is for all four of you."

:All of them come down as cheers are heard:

:Shippo points to two boxes on the ground next to him, he hands one to Miroku and the other to Kagome. Kagome goes over to Sessy, and Miroku goes over to Inuyasha:

Inuyasha: "Why do I get the monk?

Shippo: "That's just the way it's set up so get over it!"

Rin: "At least your not standing next to your brother!"

Inuyasha: :scolds: "good point."

Shippo: "The rules are simple: put a wig on and sit on the stools and come up with something funny that deals with the theme which is a dating service video, and take it away!

Inuyasha: :comes up with a Pirate captains hat on: You wanna ride my mast?

:Buzzer:

:laughter is heard:

Kagome: :comes out with a Cardcaptor Sakura mask on, she motions her hands in the air like she's spinning the clow rod then she swings them down: go! Horny stud of smexiness!

:Buzzer:

:insane laughter and some women shriek in agreement:

Miroku: :comes out with an undead mask on: I would advice you take it easy on me I'm fragile…

:Buzzer:

:light laughter:

Sessy: :comes out with a Kyo Sohma mask on: I might have a nasty temper but I know how to work a Pussy!

:Buzzer:

(Insane laughter is heard and Kagome is beet red in the face)

:Kyo growls and Tohru pets his head, Yuki laughs his ass off:

Inuyasha: :Comes out with rabbit ears on: "Hi I'm Momiji Sohma! Don't get the dress confused…I'm a true animal in bed"

:Buzzer:

:cheer's mixed with boo's are heard:

Inuyasha: "Hey I tried."

:Momiji's slightly confused. Momo and Tohru hug him.:

Sessy: :comes out with a Shigure Sohma mask on: …wanna be my b!h?

:Insane laughter:

:Shigure is shaking his head in disagreement even though a porno book is clearly visible in his hand.:

Inuyasha: :Comes out with a Nogami Neuro mask on: "I will eat all mysteries…starting with the mystery of your heart!"

:Laughter:

Kagome: :Comes out with a Sakura (Naruto) mask on: "Yea I'm a bitch deal with it!"

:laughter ensues followed by some cheers in agreement The real Sakura lowers her head:

Sakura: "Nobody loves me"

:Buzzer hits repeatedly:

Rin: "That's the end of that game!"

Shippo: "We'll be back after this commercial break! To announce the winner of…"

S&R: "WHOSE RAMEN IS IT ANYWAY?"!

:Commercial:

This is a public service announcement from the author Firan D. Melkaiba
"This is Firan Melkaiba, I hope you are enjoying the Fic. And I also hope you realize how many anime characters I have added to the story. Please note that all characters that are within the story. Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, shippo, Rin, Sesshommaru, Tifa, Cloud, Momiji, Momo, Tohru Honda, Kyo Sohma, and Squall leonheart, Sakura, Nogami Neuro, and Card Captor Sakura all belong to their respective owners. And hopefully this one would be one of your top favorites…which I know won't be smiles half heartedly But anyway I hope you enjoy the show as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now back to the program to announce the winner!"

Shippo: :now standing on the stage with Sessy, Miroku, and Inuyasha: "Welcome back to Whose Ramen is it anyway! Tonight's winner Kagome! So she sits at the desk with Rin there and the rest of us perform what Rin?"

Rin: " 'Worlds worst!' You guys have to step up to the world's worst step and perform the worlds worst anime."

Shippo: "Ok…wait really?"

Rin: "No Shippo your supposed to make up the Worlds worst anime."

Shippo: "oooohhhh…ok…"

Kagome: Begin whenever your ready guys!

Sessy: :steps up: "Coming out this October. The anime that'll leave you breathless!.Shiromu-no Mitsuna! The crack baby on wheels With herpes!"

:buzzer:

:insane laughter:

Shippo: "Coming this November.: Samurai Deeper Kyo the Confessions! Staring Usher as Demon eyes Kyo! Beyonce as Yuya, and…"

:Buzzer:

Inuyasha: "This December it's the Inuyasha Christmas carols!"

:Buzzer:

Miroku: "The anime about anime! it's "Why anime kicks the shit outta everyone else!"

:Buzzer:

Sessy: "This October Inuyasha Yaoi edition!"

:Shrieks of Yaoi fangirls and many faint from blood loss:

:multiple buzzers:

Rin: "Ok that's it! Thanks for Watching 'Whose Ramen is it anyway!' Have a good night people!"

:End theme:

The end

Side note: Arigatou! Thank you for reading this whole fic…on a side note:

1. I am not into Yaoi, I'm a Yuri fanatic. The only reason why I put so much Yaoi stuff in this fic is because the Show 'Whose line is it Anyway?' has some gayness (it's usually four guys what do you expect?) in it as well so I decided to follow the ideas of the original.

2. I'm sure all of you are wondering "why does kagome sound like a dumb blonde?" well she was acting the part of a dumb blonde (which they tend to do a lot on the real show) and i was going for realism. i apologize if this offends any of you. and i also apologize if she sounded like on all the way through. i haven';t watched inuyasha in a while. T.T

3. I know around the end it started to kinda suck…Originally this Fic was cut into two parts, and when I started on the second half I was having an off day so I apologize. Any reviews will be accepted, as well as idea's for characters for the second episode of Whose ramen is it anyway?" I at least want 1 Female in each episode (due to the fact that it happens a lot in the real thing, or it's all guys.) please put the anime that the character is from, next to the name (because I might not know where they are from) Arigatou Gozaimasu and have a good day! ..