Author's Notes: Seeing as how I recently caught up on both Chicago Fire and Chicago P.D., I've been itching to write a different version of the current seasons. What if the writers had continued the obvious connection and chemistry between Kelly Severide and Erin Lindsay into the current seasons? Several major plot points will remain the same however it will be with a Linseride outlook.
I've looked this over multiple times so although I'm hoping for no errors, they probably still exist. And I love feedback so tell me what you think!
Chapter One
Erin Lindsay glanced at her watch and sighed. She was never finishing this shift if she didn't get her paperwork completed so that these two cases that the team had finished were considered off their docket. Having the next day off didn't help her feel any less restless about finishing off the paperwork that sat on her desk.
"Shit," Antonio Dawson muttered from the desk next to her and quickly hopped up, grabbing his jacket off the back of her chair.
"Antonio? What's up?" she asked which stopped her teammate in his tracks.
"I've got to head over to Chicago Med. Leslie Shay was just pronounced dead from a call that 51 was out on. Boden just sent me a text."
Erin's heart nearly stopped beating in her chest at what Antonio had just said to her. Her time as a police officer for the city of Chicago had introduced her to the many different firehouses that existed within the city. But none of them had grown on her as much as 51. From the moment that she had stepped inside during the blackout, she could see that they were a tried and true family to one another.
That had also been the night when she had first met Kelly Severide. She had gone to firehouse because one of her informants had told her that Vincent Keeler was looking to get revenge on a firefighter that had humiliated him. Never in a million years did she think that weeks later she would be involved with the lieutenant. But she couldn't deny that there had been an instant attraction between them that had developed into the two of them seeing a lot more of each other. Erin had seen him while his sister had been kidnapped and after the bombing at Chicago Med but she knew that this would gut him. She couldn't think of anywhere else that she needed to be other than by his side.
"I'm going with you," she said, grabbing her own coat to follow him out to the unmarked Crown Victoria that he drove.
After what felt like an impossibly long drive to Chicago Med, Erin followed Antonio into the emergency room and were overcome with the sight before them. All the members of firehouse 51 was camped out in the waiting room, reeling from the news of Shay's passing. But none were so devastated as Gabriela Dawson and Kelly Severide. Gabby sat on a couch wrapped in the arms of her boyfriend, Matthew Casey, as she sobbed. Antonio went right over to them to console his sister. Erin's eyes wildly searched the waiting room for Severide and found him sitting on the floor near doors marked No Admittance.
He was crying uncontrollably, rocking back and forth while still dressed in full gear. He hadn't even taken the time to remove his helmet. Erin gave Hermann and Boden a concerned glance before getting onto the floor next to him. She touched his shoulder gently but that didn't stop him from flinching.
"Erin?" he asked, looking up at her disoriented. His tears had made track marks in the black soot that coated his face.
"I'm here Kelly," she told him and gently removed his helmet. "I'm here and I'm so sorry."
"Shay's dead," he told her and she nodded her understanding. "I couldn't save her."
"Kelly, I know that you did everything that you possibly could. Shay knows that too."
He shook his head in disagreement and buried his face into his knees. Erin knew that he needed to get out of the hospital, get cleaned up and crash for a bit. The day's events had done a number of him, let alone everyone from the firehouse. She closed her eyes and summoned all the strength that she could because she knew that he was going to need her. They had only been seeing each other for a few weeks but she knew his father would be little to no help, his sister was now in New York and his best friend was now gone. His next closest friend was Casey and he had his hands full with Gabby. It was on her to care for him. Erin stood up and pulled out her phone and dialed quickly.
"Ruzek, I need a huge favor," she said into the phone. "It's important."
The newest member of Intelligence agreed to her requests and that allowed her to focus on Kelly. She got back down onto the floor and touched his face gently.
"Let's get you out of here."
He had put up a little bit of a fight about leaving the hospital but she, Casey and Boden had tripled teamed him into getting into the chief's car and going with Erin to her apartment. Kelly seemed completely out of it as they drove across town. Chief Boden pulled to the curb and Erin thanked him and got out, coaxing Kelly to follow her.
Ruzek was waiting outside of her building and had a bag just as she had asked.
"Did the best I could seeing as I've only seen the guy once."
"I'm sure whatever you got is fine. It's just for the night."
"Maybe it's time for you to give him a drawer Lindsay?"
Erin shot him a withering look and grabbed the bag out of his hand. "Thank you Ruzek. I'll see you at work."
Wrapping her arm around Kelly's torso, she guided his drained body into her apartment building and into the elevator. It didn't take long to get to the door of her apartment. She led him inside. He looked down at her, his eyes still red from the emotion he had shown in the emergency room, his face still coated with the ash from the explosion and fire that had killed Shay.
"Kelly, you should get washed up. I've got some clothes for you," she told him, lifting the bag to prove her point, "You can stay here tonight. We'll regroup in the morning."
"I don't know how to do this."
Erin nodded, understanding what he meant by that statement. Shay had always been his guidepost, his North Star. Now, she was gone and he was reeling. She intertwined her fingers with his and gave his hand squeeze of support.
"I'm here with you. I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"
He nodded and she kissed his knuckles before leading him to her bathroom. She closed the drain and turned on the warm water. The chief had taken Kelly's helmet and jacket, but he still had on the rest of his gear. She got him to sit on the edge of the tub so that she could take off his boots. She gingerly pushed down the suspenders and unhooked his turnout pants. She got those things off of him. Erin poured some bubble bath into the water, not caring if it was girly. She wanted him to rest considering what he had experienced that day. Grief was never easy but she didn't want him to think he was going through this alone.
"I'll let you do the rest. I'm going to get you something to drink and I'll be back in."
She shut the door to the bathroom and went into her bedroom. Sitting on the edge of her bed, Erin secured her weapon in the biometric safe next to her bed, putting her credentials away as well. Glancing out the window, she looked out onto the Chicago skyline and wondered how a city seemingly so pretty from this perspective could see and do such evil things. She had seen Kelly upset before – his sister had been kidnapped earlier in the year and he had had a tough call at a boarding school recently. But she had never seen him as shell-shocked as she did now.
She pulled off her own boots and put them into her closet, letting the comfort of going barefoot soothe her nerves marginally. Erin went to her kitchen and poured some bourbon into two lowball glasses. It would help the two of them to get some sleep and also dull some of the heartache that he felt.
Erin went back into the bathroom and found him sitting in the tub, staring off into space. He only looked at her when she took a seat on the edge of the tub.
"Drink this," she instructed and handed him a glass. She noted his shaking hand and her heart broke. Rather than address it, she took a sip from her own glass.
She put her glass to the side and grabbed the washcloth, running it under the warm water before turning the faucet off again. Erin tenderly touched his chin, forcing him to look at her and wiped the ash off his handsome face. She rinsed the cloth and gently wiped his chest and arms, hoping that what she could offer him was enough to console him. When she deposited the washcloth on the edge of the tub next to the faucet, she wasn't expecting Kelly to grab her hand place a kiss on her palm.
"Thanks," he said simply and she knew that he was struggling for what else to say.
"Right well, I'm going to leave some towels and the clothes that Ruzek dropped off. I'll lock up?"
He nodded and she moved to leave him alone again. She turned off extraneous lights as she went through the apartment and checked to make sure that the door was secured. Erin went into her bedroom and stripped off her jeans, shirt and bra before pulling on the oversized tee shirt that she normally slept in. She heard the bathroom door open and she moved to the threshold to check on him. He was shirtless and barefooted, his hair tousled from his hands running through it frustrated. Black sweats clung to the lowest point of his hips, underlining his muscular torso. He was bruised on his ribs and up on his shoulder. She assumed it was another result of the fire they had been in earlier.
"Come here," she said
He went to her and she hugged him fiercely despite the height difference.
"It's going to be okay Kelly," she told him gently. "I can't tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this. Shay is irreplaceable." There was nothing more that she could say to him at this point. Things were going to be tough for him as he moved through the grieving process. She could feel him nod at her statement. "Let's try to get some sleep?" she asked and he led her into the bedroom.
She took her regular side of the bed and he moved around to the other, getting under the covers. Erin curled into his side, her leg thrown over his, her arm draped over his stomach. He squeezed her gently, pressing his lips to her forehead.
She was so glad that he was still there with her.
The next morning Erin woke up and found herself alone in bed. The side that Kelly had slept in the night before was long cold. She stretched and got up, her bare feet padding on the hardwood as she looked for Kelly. She found him out on the miniature balcony that her apartment boasted. He looked deep in thought and she didn't want to startle him. She knocked on the doorjamb and he turned to look at her.
"How do you take your coffee?" she asked softly. Erin didn't think she'd ever get over how attractive his blue eyes were. So expressive though sometimes the man behind them were so reticent.
"Just milk," he responded and she nodded. She wasn't going to pressure him into talking. She trusted that when he was ready he would come to her.
When the coffee had just finished brewing he came inside and sat at the island in her kitchen. She fixed him a cup and passed it to him.
"It doesn't feel real. I keep playing everything over in my mind and I can't make sense of how she's actually gone.
Erin bit her bottom lip, knowing exactly what he meant by his statement. All too well.
"Before I met you, I wasn't the only girl on Intelligence." Kelly looked surprised to hear that but she continued with her story. "Jules Willhite was on the team as well, she was Antonio's partner. She…got shot by this Colombian drug lord last year. I rode to the hospital with her."
Erin picked at the cuticle on her thumb but finished telling him her own experience. "Jules didn't make it. I notified her family and I remember the funeral but despite doing all that and knowing that she's gone, I sometimes expect her to breeze into the office and talk about going to grab a drink after shift." She thought for a minute. "I sorry that she never got to meet you. She always wanted to set me up with someone but I told her I would find someone in my own time."
She rounded the counter and wound her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "I'm home with you today so we can just stay here and order food, watch whatever you want, do whatever you want."
He nodded his understanding and she moved to go take a shower. But Kelly grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back to him before she moved to far away. Her surprise continued when he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and tenderly kissed her.
"I wish I could have met her too."
They had been the picture of quiet until the afternoon when a knock came on her door. She extricated herself from the couch where Kelly was peacefully napping and went to the door. Through the peephole she saw Christopher Herrman waiting on the other side, a duffel bag on his shoulder. She wasn't sure if Kelly was up to visitors but she opened up anyways.
"Hi Christopher," Erin greeted and gave him hug.
"Hey Detective Lindsay, how's our boy?"
"He's confused obviously and hurting. But I think with time and closure, he'll get there."
Where there was she wasn't sure. But like hell was she going to abandon him as he went there.
"Understandable. I went over to the station this morning, got his keys and grabbed some of his stuff from his apartment. I figured he was no where ready to go there and I wasn't sure what the plan was for the moment."
"That's great. One of my team members got him a pair of clothes for last night but I honestly didn't give it much thought beyond that." She took the duffle that he handed off to her and she walked him inside. She put the bag on one of the stools and led Christopher into the living room.
Erin crouched down and gently ran a hand over Kelly's face. He stirred from sleep and she smiled at him.
"You've got a visitor fella."
Severide got up off the couch and gave his friend a hug.
"All right, put a shirt on. I don't need to see your impossibly chiseled physique and feel bad about mine."
Kelly cracked a smile and Erin knew that she could leave the two of them for a bit.
"I'm going to go get some groceries. Call me if you need me."
Erin glanced at Christopher and the unspoken message that traveled between the two of them noted that he wouldn't leave Kelly alone until she returned.
It didn't take her long to get what she needed and she came back from the store to find Kelly and Christopher each drinking a beer and reminiscing about Shay. Erin put the groceries away and moved to the sit on the arm of the couch next to Kelly. He put his arm around her waist and she bent down to kiss his forehead.
"Did you want to stay for dinner Chris?" Erin asked and he shook his head.
"Cindy's got her parents coming over tonight so I'll have to pass. But maybe the four of us could all have dinner sometime soon?"
"I'd like that," Kelly answered before she could.
"Great, we'll set something up down the road."
Erin walked him to the door and gave him a parting hug.
"You're right. He's hurting but I think he's got a shot with you around," Christopher said he walked backwards out the door. Erin closed the door behind him and caught Kelly's eye across the room. She shook her head and went into the kitchen to work on dinner.