Kairi watches blood ooze from the wound in Leon's arm, and she thinks she'll run away tonight.
She realized that they'd protect her at all costs the day that Sora left her in the cold shelter of Traverse Town with a ragtag gang of refugees. Yuffie had told her as much, after all, spunky little Yuffie, whom Kairi suspected to be much younger than she pretended. Locked—deadbolt, doorknob, with a group of guards—in the Third District's little house, where she imagined a family had once lived, content in the mediocrity of their small, one-roomed home. They'd been happy, she thought, when all of the other worlds lit up the night sky like the sunshine that was sorely lacking. Oftentimes she found herself aching, yearning for warmth to sear her skin, for warm wind to muss her hair.
The sound of materializing monsters hadn't yet become familiar and, sitting in that small house, Kairi watched Leon's shoulders stiffen and Yuffie leap up. He made silently for the door while Yuffie hung around, putting her little fists on too-skinny hips. "Take care of her, kay, Aerith? We wouldn't want anything to happen to Sora's princess." She winked playfully in Kairi's direction and danced, determinedly, out of the door.
"What'd she mean by that?" She asked quietly, turning to see, as well as hear, Aerith's answer.
Aerith pursed her lips and carefully replied, "Sora would be upset with us if we let something happen to you."
"You guys really respect him, huh?"
Aerith rose to make sure the window drapes were pulled shut all of the way. "He's the only thing that we have left," she answered, as if it was really an answer.
When they returned, Kairi noticed the way that Yuffie grimaced when she put weight on her left ankle.
But the injuries were getting worse now. As Cid so eloquently put it, "An assload 'a heartless is pourin' out now and they ain't gettin' any weaker." Kairi thought she understood, but as she watched Aerith tending to the claw marks down Leon's back (all when they thought that she was asleep) she wondered if she really did.
"How old are you?" She asked Yuffie one day over lunch, as the other girl tore the crust off of her bread. Yuffie just grinned up at her, the force of it was almost enough to knock Kairi from her chair, and clicked her tongue.
"You never ask a woman her age." She batted her eyelashes but burst into giggles, winking across the room at Leon, who just grunted and turned away.
Kairi tried to smile too, but there was a threatening scraping at the door, and Leon already had his gunblade in hand, and Yuffie's smile had melted. She left her crustless peanut butter and jelly on the table and took a swig of her milk before heading outside.
They'd been in the house for too long now, because the only way to get out of the district was in pairs, and they couldn't leave Kairi unguarded, nor could they risk having her around in a fight. This wasn't a sentiment shared with her, but Kairi didn't sleep much anymore, and if she faced the wall they couldn't tell that she was trying to hard to close her eyes. Yuffie was privy to all of this, and Kairi felt a sudden wave of insane jealousy that she wasn't a part of their little gang, until Aerith asked to see how her bones were healing, and Kairi clenched her eyes shut even tighter.
"Sora will be back soon," someone assured her far too often, though she hadn't asked, hadn't even asked after him at all. At first, Kairi assumed that they were trying to keep her spirits high, and to make sure that she wasn't worried or afraid. But it didn't take long before a notion hit—perhaps they were saying it for their own benefit as well, because if they could convince her, then they could believe it easier themselves. Sora truly was the only thing keeping their lives together, the only reason that they'd been fighting for so long, and in this respect, Kairi realized that they had a lot in common with her.
Kairi knows that the last wave of darkness to spread over the town had been the worst thus far, and she knows that Aerith was trying hard to cast up a few black magic spells. The stink of blood and pus fills the little house, but no one says anything. She tries not to stare at the claw marks in Leon's arm, but it's too hard to look away, and they aren't trying as hard to hide their secrets anymore. It's darkly tinted, like a bad infection, and for the first time Kairi thinks that Curaga spells aren't truly that magical. It's doing nothing for him, and Aerith's sluggish, and Yuffie's trying so hard to keep them all in good spirits that everyone is laughing to humor her. Kairi can't play their game, though, for she hasn't learned how. She's either been asleep or locked away from it all, and she can't fake a laugh when Aerith pokes around to see if Leon's muscles have been damaged. She can't put on a brave face and help Yuffie scrounge around for the last of the potion supply. She can't roll her eyes and try to nap like Cid in the corner, chewing anxiously on a cigarette. She can't save anyone like Leon, who is completely stoic, even as his blood drips down and stains the carpet. She can't play this game of hope, and say that Sora's coming back any day now, because he's not, she thinks. It's the five of them for themselves, and they'd do anything to protect her. Kairi knows that they can't live like this forever.
Maybe, she thinks, they'd have a chance without her.
"We should all get some sleep," Aerith suggests, as she rubs some of the gooey potion, two years expired by Yuffie's math, straight onto Leon's arm. He doesn't flinch, and Kairi thinks she could kiss Aerith. All she needed to do was run, to get out of the door. She wonders if Sora will be mad at them, or if they will be mad at her, or if she'll even make it out of the district. She waits until they all settle down for the night—even though Leon never sleeps either, but he was looking a little groggy—and carefully climbs out of the bed that they saved for her each night. She finds a little scrap of paper and a pen that Yuffie and Cid had been playing hangman with earlier that day, and scrawls a little note.
Please, don't be mad. I can't keep letting everyone get hurt to save me.
Ps. Sora, I'm sorry. But this is my decision. It isn't anyone else's fault.
I love you.
But she scratched that last part out until the paper ripped, and sat it back down on the table. She stole silently past Yuffie, curled up against Aerith; Cid, who snored, head lolling against the wall; and Leon, who slept as softly as he spoke. Kairi unlocked the deadbolt with shaking fingers, turned the doorknob slowly, and stepped out into Traverse Town. There was nothing around, and before she chickened out, she shut the door behind her. Her footsteps reverberated too loudly, and before she could get too far, the cracks of appearing heartless resounded. A chill ran it's way up and down her spine, but Kairi was determined to be brave. It wasn't the first time she'd stared down the heartless, but it was the first time she'd done it alone…
Before she could plot a move that would surely end in her untimely death, a bullet whirred past her like magic, accompanied by the chunky sound of Leon's boots. He held out his hand, and she took it, surprised by the way he pulled her behind him. The man had never spoken a word to her, and she felt strangely self-conscious under his mysterious gaze, but now he felt more like a friend than a bodyguard. "You shouldn't come out alone, Kairi. What would we tell Sora? He'll be back for you any day now."
Kairi nodded mutely and let Leon follow her back inside, past Yuffie in Aerith's lap, like a pair of sisters; Cid, who looked worn out, and older than she'd ever noticed; and into the itchy bed that was reserved just for her. She doubled back and grabbed her note from the table and ripped it into fine pieces. Leon didn't say a word, and Kairi just climbed into bed and rolled over to face the wall.
0-FIN-0
Have I ever said how much I love Kairi? Because I love Kairi. I was suddenly hit with the idea of this on New Year's Eve, and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. I like it too; I think sometimes writers, and I'm guilty of it myself, just don't seem to realize that most of these characters are just barely teenagers, and they can't be strong and solid all of the time.