I've never written a Human in Equestria story before, so consider this more of an experiment than a full-blown story. I'll write a couple of chapters, just to see how it all goes. If this thing somehow manages to get some type of fan attention, I'll turn it into a bigger series with much longer chapters. I already have a large arc planned out, but don't want to write it all out until I know that people are actually interested in reading it. So, if you like this intro chapter, please follow and fav it. I'm also open to any suggestions, and read all reviews. Constructive criticism is welcomed.
My name is Taylor Jones, and I'm kind of an outsider to these lands. As in, I literally don't belong here, and kind of appeared in the centre of a small town. You see, I used to live elsewhere, in a fairly large city known as Toronto. I had friends, a family, and a pet hamster named Hammy. Yes, I seriously named him Hammy, and if you dare laugh at his name, he shall smite you from hamster hell.. assuming such a place even exists. Anyways, I'm getting a bit off topic.
As you may have already figured out, I'm not a pony. I shouldn't even be a part of this world, and yet, here I am. A human in a land called Equestria, filled with magical unicorns, possibly bisexual pegasi, and Earth ponies that don't really have anything special, aside from their strength. Though, there is one Earth pony in particular that scares the living shit out of me, and I swear she's bipolar, but I'll write more on that later.
In addition to my name, I'm really quite ordinary in appearance. I'm 6'3, not overly muscular, but far from skinny or fat. I have dark brown hair, green/blue eyes, and a fairly large beard. I've always been a bit of a jock, and tend to have a tiny ego when it comes to winning, though that's mostly because I very rarely lose. Whether it be video games, or sports, I always win. In fact, back when I was in highschool, I played on a soccer team, and I always brought my team to victory. I was so good at winning, I eventually got bored, and moved on to something else. From basketball to baseball, and football to hockey. I was always the best player on my team, and loved the spotlight. You have no idea how fucking good it feels to have a crowd screaming your name, while you're moving as fast as you can possibly go, all to win the game.
But none of that's really important right now. There's more to me than meets the eye, as you'll soon find out. However, let's just pretend that I'm some type of two dimensional character for the time being, so I can tell you how I came to arrive in the land of Equestria, and why I'm writing this story for you to read. So, without further adieu, I give you the beginning of my tale.
It all started on a Wednesday, or perhaps a Thursday. No, it was definitely a Wednesday. I woke up on a warm mid summer Wednesday morning, feeling energized and ready to get on with my day. At least, I would have felt energized if not for an unusual pit in my stomach holding me back. Wait, no. It was a Thursday! Not sure why I said Wednesday...
Anyways, I woke up feeling an unusual dread inside of me. It didn't hurt, or make me feel sick. No, nothing like that. It simply felt weird, like the feeling you get when you know you're forgetting to do something important, but can't really figure out what. Since it wasn't affecting me, I decided to just go about my day, and ignore the feeling.
Problem was, that feeling I had only grew in strength, and six hours later, it became unbearable. By now, it was really starting to bother me, but even now, I felt no pain. It felt like I had a balloon of energy inside my chest, and that it just kept inflating. It soon became hard to breath, and I felt like I could explode at any moment. I gotta admit though, it felt good, in a weird way. Having so much concentrated energy bundled up in one location. Seriously, I felt truly alive, though that feeling didn't last for long..
Cause I died. At least, I kinda did. One minute I'm walking to my bathroom, feeling unusually tired considering the time of day, and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor in pain. The energy in my chest had turned into a bitter numbness, chilling me to my bone. I felt everything around me freeze, and even saw my windows crystal over in frost. The lights in my apartment went out, followed by all electronic devices around me. My eyes were feeling heavy, and I passed out.
When I awoke, I was in the middle of a small town, surrounded by shadowy figures that I could only describe as looking like grim reapers, though there were dozens of them. I was unable to move, as if frozen to the ground under me. One of the reapers decided to stride towards where I lay, slowly moving his scythe to rest upon his slender shoulder. Once he was standing directly in front of me, he removed his scythe, and cut an X in the air, before striking it down on my helpless body. I closed my eyes in fear and anticipation, waiting for the reaper to take my soul away.
But nothing happened.
I woke up, feeling dazed and very confused. I could hear some type of beeping coming from my left, and I was laying in an unfamiliar bed. I was in a type of hospital, by the looks of it, though I didn't exactly know why I was here. A thousand thoughts were soaring through my mind, when I heard a kind female voice speak up, asking if I was okay. Now, considering how fucking confused I was, it took me a good minute or two before I realized that this voice was coming from outside of my head, and that I hadn't simply imagined hearing it.
So, like a bumbling idiot, I tried to sit up. Big mistake! Seriously, the pain I felt was unimaginable. It was like a million cars had just run me over, breaking every god damn bone in my body, only to run me over again in reverse for good measure. I was in excruciating pain, and I'm honestly amazed I didn't pass out right then and there. Though, my amazement only continued once I noticed that the voice, the one I thought I heard, came from a type of robot, and that my room was whiter than white. There were no windows to speak of, and the only door to and from this place had no visible handle to allow entry, and it too was whiter than white. Come to think of it, there weren't even any lights in this room, and yet, everything was properly illuminated by some type of unknown source. It felt almost alien to me, considering how clean, white and structured everything looked.
So, under the assumption that I was somehow on some type of alien mothership, I passed out again, this time in fear and stress, rather than pain.
When I awoke, I was no longer in the same hospital room as I was before, but I was still in a type of hospital. This time, however, everything seemed relatively more normal and significantly less white. There were windows, and medical equipment that I could actually recognize. There was also an unusual smell in the air around me, almost like a natural freshness. That's when I heard another voice speak up, though this time, it wasn't from some weird alien robot thing. No, this time it was from a pony! That's right, a pony. As in, a mini horse thing, but one that can apparently talk.
Needless to say, I didn't really handle my first human to pony interaction very well, and ended up passing out again, or as a certain blue rainbow coloured pegasus would later inform me, I "didn't pass out, you fainted like a little filly on Nightmare Night"
Yeah, so.. whatever. The point is, I didn't handle it well, and ended up sleeping the rest of the day.
When I awoke again, I found myself surrounded by six pony faces of varying colours. Purple, white, pink, blue, orange, and a small yellow one that was hiding over in the corner. This time, I didn't pass out, and actually managed to stay relatively awake and conscious, at least, conscious enough to be aware that I was in total and complete fear. Though, the instant the purple… unicorn? Yeah, cause why not. Totally normal to see a fucking purple unicorn pony standing beside my hospital bed. Anyways, so when that purple unicorn started to talk to me, I literally felt my heart pounding against my chest. I'm amazed I didn't have a heart attack, and at the time, I was honestly praying that I would die on the spot.
The purple unicorn was trying to talk to me, though I have no idea what she was saying. A part of me was able to hear her, but the other part that controlled my fear? Yeah, it just wanted to, you know, fear her. So, her words were just a giant mess of garbled garbleness, whatever the fuck that even is. But you know, I said it. So, garbleness is a thing now.
Once I had managed to regain some control of my brain, I immediately instructed it to pay close attention to the purple unicorn's voice. Also, before you question, yes; I talk to my brain, and tell it stuff. It's perfectly normal, if you really stop to think about it. Though, that doesn't really matter much, as the unicorn was now asking me a hundred questions about who I am, what I am, why I'm here, blah blah blah. I felt like I was being verbally raped by her voice, and while everything in my body was telling me to just punch her in her unicorn muzzle, hoping she'd shut the hell up, I figured the best way to get out of this, whatever this even is, was to answer her questions. And so, I spoke up for the first time in what felt like years. Mind you, my voice wasn't exactly normal… In short, I sounded like a fucking mouse, and the first word that these fucking ponies heard out of me, was a squeaky as fuck "hi" that was barely even audible.
Oddly, my poor attempt at interspecies communication made the purple pony shut up for a second. In fact, every pony in the room reacted in some weird as fuck way. The purple one closed her big talkative muzzle, the white one glared at me as if I was the ugliest thing she's ever seen, the orange one removed her hat, and put it onto a nearby chair. And, why a pony has a hat, I don't know, won't know, and give no shits about. So don't ask. Anyways, the pink one had an ungodly smile on her face, and seemed to levitate in the air for a second, defying all laws of gravity and physics in the process. The blue one, which appeared to be a flying pony pegasus thing, fell to the ground with a loud thud, and started laughing her ass off. Oh, and as for the yellow one? She wasn't even in the room anymore. My guess, is she bolted out of here the instant she realized I could talk. Smart pony.
The first pony to speak back up was, unsurprisingly, the purple one, though she wasn't talking to me, and was instead scolding the blue pegasus for her behaviour. "Rainbow" she began. "That's not a very nice way to treat our new guest!"
The blue pegasus pony thing, which was apparently named 'Rainbow', managed to sit up on her ass, and stopped laughing in an instant. She was seriously struggling to hold back another burst of laughter, but upon seeing me, and how 'insecure' I looked, she decided to hold it in, and actually had the guts to apologize to me. Not like I heard a damn word of it, though. She was seriously getting on my nerves, turning my fear into genuine anger.. which I suppose is better than fearing for my life, but whatever. Not the point! That damn blue bitch laughed at me, simply because I tried to say hi to the weird talking ponies that somehow invaded my hospital room.
"So, do you have a name?" the purple one asked, and followed up her question with another question before I even had the chance to answer the first one. "Also, what exactly are you?"
"Taylor Jones is my name" I said, only for the purple thing to interupt me before I could answer her second question. "It's nice to meet you, Taylor Jones. Don't mind me asking, but just whatare you exactly? You're obviously not a pony." She.. literally just interrupted me from answering her other question just so she could ask me the same exact question again, with minor rephrasing? Seriously? The fuck is wrong with this purple nutbar?
"Human" is all I could manage to say. Though, I had other things in mind, such as "I'm a fucking human, you stupid purple unicorn bitch!" and "My GOD, could you please just shut the fuck up for one goddamn second?"
Of course, if I said anything like that, I probably would have been impaled by her horn thing. I'm not suicidal, so I thought it best to just stick with the cold, hard facts. Simple answers for her annoying questions.
After a couple of agonizing minutes, and dozens of questions later, the purple unicorn, who has yet to tell me her fucking name, decided to leave me alone, so I could fall back to sleep. She, along with Rainbow, all left the room in relative silence, leaving me to my emotional instability. I still had no fucking idea how I got here. I'm not even sure if I'm alive.
And that's kind of how it all started. I don't remember much else of my first day in Ponyville, or more like, my first hospital visit thing. So, that's where this introduction ends.