CPOV
I watch them rehearse from the back of the audience, where no one can see me. All of them are putting on acts, and I can see through all of them - save for one. Old balding director guy, Rain, Cloudy, and creepy little girl are all trying to be normal - or as normal as they can get, but were failing miserably. Beneath all of their happy surfaces, I can see the grief beneath all of their masks. Why are they sad? Blondie is trying to be optimistic as she babbles on about something that I can't hear. Beneath her mask is loneliness. Why is she lonely? She almost never shows any outward emotion.
Then there's her. Such a complete mystery since I ordered that recount and she dumped me. I have no idea what is under her mask. She has not spoken to me since the incident, which was last month. I had thought she would be proud of me - for finding a way to solve that mess - but no, I was too selfish.
My thoughts are interrupted as thee director begins to speak. "As we all know, this will be Sonny's last episode-" WHAT? HER LAST EPISODE? as i fume over this new information, the director keeps babbling on, but I'm not paying attention. Her last episode?/ why didn't she tell me? I think I should've been the first to know. Wait-we're not together anymore.
Sounds of movement startled me out of my reverie. The cast was leaving. I made a split-second decision to go to Sonny's dressing room.
When I walked in, Sonny was sitting on the couch, staring at the blank wall. My jaw dropped as I looked around- all of the walls were empty of Sonny's stuff. Half of the room was blank, as if she had never been there.
"What do you want, Chad?" she asked. She sounded so...sad. And tired. It was as if she just wanted to fall into a hundred-year sleep like Sleeping Beauty and just forget about everything for a while.
"I want to know why you're leaving." I said, trying to sound confident, arrogant even, to seem like I wasn't about to break down.
"Because there's nothing left for me here for the time being. I'm coming back, you know. this is just a break."
"Then why is all of your stuff gone?"
"Why do you care?" Ooh, she was good. why DID I care? Time to be a major jerk to cover my tracks. I hated this.
"I don't care. I just want to know why you are abandoning your friends in the sinking ship that is So Random!" That was probably one of the worst things I had ever said to her. I felt horrible.
"I'm not going to fight you, Chad. There's no point anymore. I have nothing left to fight for." She got up and walked away. I stared after her, wondering where my ever-optimistic Sonny had gone and when she had become so hopeless.
SPOV
Chad's visit was making me think. I hadn't had to think this hard about something involving him in a while. He had stuttered, just a little, and there had been a hint of desperation in his tone the entire time. When I had met his eyes for that last second, even for a moment, i could see it there too.
As i was thinking, lyrics formed in my mind. I knew I could get it done by the show tomorrow. I got the lyrics down and i was starting to work on the chords when Marshall walked in.
"Hey, sonny. Whatcha up to?" he asked me.
"Just a song. Hey, I was wondering if I could perform it tomorrow. You know, as a good bye present. For the fans. Please?" I begged.
"Well...if it's done. IF it is not done by five minutes before showtime tomorrow, you can't go on. It has to be done." he said reluctantly. After looking at me sadly, he turned and left the prop house. I finished the chords and then went home.
The next morning, I looked over my songs, changed a few words, ran through it a couple times, ate breakfast, and went to work.
It's almost time to go onstage. My guitar is in my hand and all tuned up. This is a special song. Unlike the other ones, it's just going to be me and my guitar. I hope the fans - and Chad - understand what I'm trying to tell them.
CPOV
I don't know why I'm here, sitting in the back row of a So Random! taping. They just announced that Sonny is going to sing one last song, as a present to the fans.
"This is a song for all of you, and one extra. I hope you understand what I'm telling you. This is Letter To You."
Oh, can you see
What I'm doing?
I can't be the thing
You want me to be
I love you
I hate you
I'm leaving you
Cause I can't look at you
This is a letter to you I was afraid to write
I love you too much
I hope you understand
Don't hold it against me
I love you
I hate you
I'm leaving you
Cause I can't look at you
This is a letter to you I was afraid to write
What you want from me
Is something I cant give
I know you love me
I love you too
Too much for my own good
So goodbye...
Well. That was a wake-up call.
SPOV
I was sitting on the couch, staring at the wall again, when he walked in.
Again.
"Hey...What was up with that song?" He sounds pretty dazed, so I turn and look at him. The look on his face is probably one of the most interesting I have seen in a while. It's a mix of understanding, confusion, and amazedness. Weird, huh?
"You figured it out, then?" I say while standing up, knowing he will understand.
"Yeah...what did you mean by-" I cut him off by pressing my lips to his while he was talking. I pull away and there is confusion written all over his face. I smile sadly and walk away. I have a plane to catch.
CPOV
She kissed me. Why did she kiss me? But I shouldn't be surprised. The song did say "I love you" several times. I've been thinking in circles for the past hour. Suddenly, a new thought pops into my head. How will Sonny come back if she doesn't have a job to come back to? So Random! will get canceled in a minute once she leaves. I can't let that happen. I need to do the unthinkable.
Become a Random.
For her sake.
Three months later
SPOV
The first episode of So Random! in the new season! I've heard rumors about a new star to replace me, but no one know who it is.
"And the new So Random! star...Chad! Dylan! Cooper!"
No. Way. Chad is a random? he must've done it to keep it alive so I could come back. That's so sweet. I did hear rumors about Mack Falls getting canned. He must've quit.
Of course, I wrote a letter. Seemed to be the right thong to do, seeing as one of the last things I had told him about was a letter i was afraid to write.
CPOV
Sonny wrote me a letter! She sent it straight to my house, too. Wow. The girl does her research. She also knew that I wouldn't read my fanmail. I read it, and I laugh the entire time. Classic Sonny. So I wrote a reply. It had only five words. It was all I needed:
Sonny-
I love you.
-Chad
Sonny, I thought, this is my letter to you.