Forward to the Forest
Written By: Stoilstein
Based upon the 1988 musical Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim & James Lapine
Prologue
Once upon a time in a far off kingdom, there lived the same fair maiden, the same lad, the same little girl and the same baker,with his son. They all lived in a small cottage. The same small cottage that the baker and wife had lived before and the baker's father before him. But this story, the one that I am going to tell you now, takes place ten years after the story that you've heard before. Anyhow, the year is 1997. The place is Alsace-Lorraine, in a city 175,941 people.
The giants were dead. No problems at all. But then again there could be some problems. I tell you now that this fairy tale will not end as happily as you think it will. The fairy stories most children hear involve maidens trapped in towers, losing shoes and eating poison fruit. Most heros or love interests are lazy and childish. They just want the girl so they can have sex, because they had once had an erection . But that is not the case with this story. Cinderella and Little Red are now ass kickers. They go to karate classes. They carry Swiss Army Knives everywhere they go. Jack is now the keeper of the beans. He has super awesome powers. If someone were to face him in a threatening way or disown him in any way, he would play his flute and sprout beanstalks to create a wall to protect him.
The baker was a little different. He had powers. But he didn't acquire them until is fortieth year. Everybody, everywhere will acquire certain abilities in their lifetime. Some acquire them at five years old, some at sixteen and others (like the baker) acquire them during the middle of their life. This is when our story begins...