Underworld Randomness
I DON'T OWN UNDERWORLD OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS SO DON'T BUG ME.
Special thanks: SeleneRanma
Act I: The Keys
After a whole day of resting, Kraven decides to take a ride on his brand new car. He walks off the bed in search for his keys, but can't find anything. He walks towards the living room where Viktor was.
Kraven: Hey Viktor!
Viktor: What?
Kraven: Know were my keys are?
Viktor: Umm…yea…
Kraven: What are you waiting for?
Viktor: Waiting for what?
Kraven: Hand me the keys
Viktor: I can't, sorry…
Kraven: Why…?
Viktor: They are in the sewage.
Kraven: How the hell did they got there?
Viktor: Because I was playing with them and they fell to the toilet.
Kraven: oh…
Viktor: and they were flushed away. ..
Kraven: You did it on purpose; didn't you?
Viktor: Yup
Kraven: Why?
Viktor: Fluffy told me so
Kraven: Fluffy?
A few seconds later, Fluffy, the Komodo dragon, crawls from behind Kraven and bites his leg hard. He starts to shake Kraven's leg and in the meantime, he was trying to feed.
Kraven: Let me go!
Fluffly: Rawr.
Act II: Weird Moment
(Hours later from the Fluffy incident)
Kraven: That fluffy is weird…well, lucky me I got a spare pair of keys, so I'll get inside my new BMW.
Markus: Hey there sexy! Can I come with you?
Kraven: Umm… no
Markus: Why? I wanna go shoppin'.
Kraven: Ok…? You're weird…
Markus: C'mon sexy man let's go get a ride together.
Kraven: Hell no.
Markus: Maybe a hug will make you change opinion?
Kraven: Uh. Oh! Run!
Markus: Aw. C'mon hottie. I'll give you a big hug.
Kraven: GET AWAY FROM ME!
Kraven runs inside the car and locks the doors. In a matter of seconds he is off the mansion and heading far away from Markus.
Kraven: Markus is weird.
??: giggles Oh yeah!
Kraven: ….what was that?
Act III: Fun?
Kraven: Phew…that was a close one
Sonja: rises up from the backseat What the…? Why are we moving?
Kraven: What the…Sonja?! What are you doing in my brand new car?!
Sonja: I was having fun! .
Kraven: Fun?
Sonja: YES! And what kind of fun!
Lucian pokes his head up from the backseat, beside Sonja
Lucian: What is happening in here?
Kraven: LUCIAN?! What are you doin'!
Lucian: Having fun?
Kraven: Damn. You two are a pair of perverts.
Lucian: NO! You are a peep. This is private! MAN!
Kraven: You know something…blow it! I'm leaving this automobile. ..
Lucian: You'd better growls
Sonja: Calm down, love. Let's get back down with the fun.
Kraven exits the car in a rush. He was carrying a suitcase and ran towards a tall skyscraper on the opposite side of the sidewalk.
Lucian and Sonja head back down
Sonja: Back to the fun!
Lucian: More! Oh yes! I want more!
Sonja: Alright!
Lucian: More meat!
Sonja places another piece of ham on Lucian's meatloaf sandwich. They were having a picnic on the backseat
Hey! I never said they were naked! Creepy freaky-minded people. -.-' LOL XD
Act IV: Fluffy
(Few minutes later, up in the skyscraper)
Using a high-distance sniper rifle, Kraven aimed to a person he thought was Michael.
Kraven: Now. I will be able to kill you once and for all.
Michael: Kill who?
Kraven: Kill Michael! laughs
Michael: Which Michael?
Kraven: turns around Oh! Um…you?
Michael: Oh! I see!
Kraven: covers with his arms (coward!)
Michael: turns around Have fun!
Kraven: Wait! Aren't you angry?
Michael: Not really.
Kraven: Why? I was planning on killing you!
Michael: because… I was walking Fluffy.
Kraven: gasps Fluffy…
Michael: Have you met him?
Kraven: …yes. )':
Fluffy: RAWR
Fluffy ran towards Kraven and jumped on him. He pinned him to the ground and bit his head with his huge jaws. He salivated over his head and started chomping
Michael: Is it yummy?
Fluffy: Rawr.
Michael: I see. Can I taste?
Fluffy: rawr
Michael: Oh! I am sorry. I leave you play with him.
Fluffy: RAWR
Michael: Hey! Hey! Don't go with the insults!
Fluffy: rawr
Michael: There, there. You are pardoned.
Fluffy: rawr
Fluffy spits Kraven out and is hugged by Michael
Kraven: gross…
Michael: SHUT UP! IT'S A DRAMATIC MOMENT!
Kraven: ok… shuts up and whimpers (nobody likes him)
Act V: Really?
I bet you are wondering where is Selene? I mean, she is the main character right? She needs to be on this story. Well…here is the reason why she was absent.
Selene: MARKUS! Let me go! (she is tied to a pole)
Markus: No…my child.
Selene: Why…?
Markus: Because…
Selene: Because?
Markus: You are gorgeous and I want Kraven to notice me and be with me.
Selene: That's all?
Markus: yeah…why?
Selene: Look. You can have that dumbass if you want.
Markus: Really?
Selene: Hell yeah, and if he gets near me, I'll break his nose.
Markus: Thanks my child!
Selene: No problem!
Markus goes up the basement running upstairs to do his makeup and wait for the sexy Kraven to come back home
Selene: HEY DUMBASS! UNTIE ME! ANYONE? I feel lonely…
Will Markus get Kraven to notice him? Will Kraven lie on Markus's arms? Will Selene be untied? Will Lucian and Sonja continue their fun? Will the keys be found? Will Fluffy eat Kraven? Will Michael hug Fluffy again? Will the pie be eaten? Will the jellyfish rule the world? WHO KNOWS XD!
FIND IT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER! ONLY IF YOU REPLY A YES!