This first chapter may be difficult to read. I'm experimenting with stream-of-consciousness writing. There is no punctuation in her flashbacks. If anybody thinks they're a literature expert and that I'm an idiot for writing this way, read "The Sound and the Fury" and THEN come talk to me.

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Hold Thou Thy word before closing my eyes,

Shine thru the gloom and point me to the skies;

Heav'n's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee-

In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me!

-Abide With Me

I heard my mother's laugh and look up, smiling at her. She held her arms out and I ran into them while my brother and father behind me join us
My brother held me as I cried at our parents funeral They died in a flood at the mill They gate broke open We were orphans Orphans
I picked up scraps of paper Wrote words in charcoal like he did in his drawings He was teaching me to read and write I loved it
I watched his face slowly disappear over the edge of the ship as our boat was lowered I leaned forward again to keep staring at him Know if he was okay She suddenly moved and leapt back on the boat Rushing wind Piercing knives hit me I couldn't scream I was going to die

Eighty-three years it's been. Eighty-three years since the most terrifying event in my life, since I stopped being a child at the tender age of twelve…when my remaining family was cruelly torn from me. I witnessed Hell.

We're going to America We're goin' home Kitty We're the luckiest sons of bitches in the world We ran and ran Ticket was gripped in my hand That was my lifeline I couldn't lose it We waved to total strangers
Goodbye! I'll never forget you!

And now, here I sit, alone in my room. I both hated and treasured the silence. When I felt vulnerable, the demons would follow me and remind me why I was comatose for six years after the accident. I felt that I'd never move on. I lost the only person in the world who gave a damn about me, I walked away from someone who did because of that reason, and I still regret it. Hardly. Had I not, I would not have met my husband. And I would be dead.

Get on the damn boat Don't be stupid
Don't you do this to me Don't leave me Please I can't lose you I don't have a family
Yes you do we will be now get moving I need to know that you're safe Stay with Rose You'll be fine

Everything seemed to be going fuzzy. I knew it was coming. I wanted it to end in my sleep, next to my husband…but he was gone, and he's been gone. I was ready to see him.

Keep swimming Kat Keep swimming and don't give up

It wasn't as I expected. I was scared of not breathing the sweet air after a rainstorm, breathing in the comforting scent of my own home, waking up to the birds chirping, spending endless hours gardening with my family and Rose, of course. Was this really the end?

No. It isn't. Life after death. There must be. I need to see them again.

Take life as it comes at you Always make it count

I took a deep breath and spoke my final words to Rose, hoping that somehow she would hear- "I'll send my love,"

A clear tear slid out of her blue eyes- bright and alive with the fire that has burned since the day I've met her- but she nodded, keeping her composure.

I finally closed my eyes, letting the flame that has been burning die out.

I kept my promise, brother. And so did Rose. I hope you're proud.

This was…extremely difficult to write for me. I recently lost my cousin, so I'm trying to incorporate my feelings into Katharine. It's been four months and I'm still having difficulty coping…mostly because of the suddenness of it.

In memory of my dear cousin. I hope it's chill up there.

God Bless you all (And don't forget to make it count!)

-V