Barney wondered if the Science Team at Black Mesa remembered high school. They'd probably all been nerds and geeks, right? Typically picked on by stupid jocks. Right, so... maybe this wasn't personal, maybe this was just them getting a small measure of revenge now that the brainy guys were in charge and the brawny guys were the ones getting bossed around. He wished he could point out that he hadn't been a jock, back in high school. He'd been the crazy consipiracy-nut kid, who hung out with his three crazy conspiracy-nut friends and talked about aliens and government cover-ups.
Instead, he just tried to sound sincere as he said, "Sorry about the delay, sir. I think I've got you all sorted out here, now." 'Here' was an ornery computer that had been refusing to accept any login identities whatsoever. Barney probably would have sounded more sincere if he hadn't added, in his head, Aren't you the one supposed to be good with computers? You're the scientist, I'm just a security guard.
"I should hope so!" This particular scientist didn't look all that old, but he sounded crotchety enough to be at least two hundred. And he looked like he'd been sucking on lemons for at least that long. "I've been waiting for three hours, and now I'm frightfully behind schedule. This is the third time this has happened this week."
Barney hid a wince. He'd just got on shift when this job had been foisted off on him, only fifteen minutes ago. If the problem had been cropping up that often, somebody must have gotten tired of dealing with it and decided to pass the buck. Gee, thanks, guys. I'm really feelin' the love.
Out loud, he said, "I'm real sorry about that, sir. We-"
The scientist just waved his hand impatiently and maneuvered to get into the computer chair Barney had just vacated. "I don't need to hear excuses, just let me get back to work." He shot the security guard an annoyed glance and added, "I'm sure you have something better to do than waste any more of my time."
Barney didn't need to be told twice. After a borderline polite "Yessir", he happily vacated the premises and headed back to the Area 3 Security Station. Hopefully all they'd need him for now was to guard a door for a few hours.
"Aw, dammit, you've got to be kidding me. Two in a row? Gimmie a break!"
The security officer behind the desk just shrugged. "Sorry, Calhoun. New guy in the Anomalous Material Labs can't get into his locker. Looks like his key card's not working. Name's Dr. Freeman."
"Yeah, but can't somebody else--"
"Nope."
"Aw, c'mon-"
"Nope."
Barney glowered at his fellow officer, who just gave him a small, unapologetic smile and a shrug. He nudged a red toolbox over the counter and added, "You're probably gonna need this."
Grumbling under his breath, Barney grabbed the toolbox and stalked out to catch a tram over to Anomalous Materials.
He'd managed to regain his composure and adopt what Dr. Vance called his Security Guard Face: calm, stoic, businesslike. It was a helpful mask to hide behind when confronted with irate scientists. Which happened alot. It would probably help if the equipment at Black Mesa wasn't consistantly getting busted or exploding or just generally deciding not to work. Personally, he blamed it on the aliens.
The locker room was empty, except for a young man about Barney's age, sitting on one of the benches near a locker marked "Freeman." He looked up when the security guard entered.
"Dr. Freeman?"
The scientist gave a slight nod of acknowledgement, getting to his feet.
There was a moment's silence, before Barney realized he was waiting for some kind of verbal response that apparently wasn't coming. Dr. Freeman was just watching him,
expectantly. Fumbling to fill the sudden silence, he gestured to the locker. "That's your locker?" No shit, Calhoun. Its only got his name on it in six inch tall letters.
This time the small nod was preceeded by a slightly raised eyebrow.
"Right." Setting his toolbox down, he bent down to inspect the lock. "Lemme see your keycard."
The keycard was handed over.
Barney swiped it through the lock a few times, and frowned when the lock didn't so much as beep. It should have buzzed a negative. He tried his own security card. Nothing. Well, crap. "Have you tried your card on other doors?" he asked, glancing up at the scientist.
Small nod.
"And it worked on them, huh?"
Small nod.
Barney straightened up and handed the keycard back over. "Looks like your lock's busted, sir. I can get you in right now, but we're gonna have to replace it, and that could take a couple of days." He'd already bent down to rummage through the toolbox, so he couldn't tell if the apparently mute Dr. Freeman had nodded or not. He definitely hadn't said anything. Fishing out the crowbar, Barney turned his attention back to the locker.
It was a matter of a few minutes and some elbow grease, and the locker popped open. "There you go. Sorry about the inconvenience, sir," Barney said, adding, silently, Cue snide remark in three... two... one...
"Thank you."
The security guard found himself extremely glad that Dr. Freeman had already moved to get what he needed out of his locker, and couldn't see Barney gaping at him. Holy crap, he talks!
Getting ahold of himself, Barney cleared his throat. "Uh, no problem, sir. I'll jam it shut again for you, once you've got what you need." A few moments later, having done so, he continued, "Just let us know when you need to get back in, sir, and we'll come open it up. Like I said, it'll probably take a day or so to get the lock replaced..." He trailed off, realizing the conversation was turning into just him talking again. "So, uh, do you need anything else, sir?"
Dr. Freeman looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he spoke for the second time. "Could I," he gestured to the crowbar, "just hold onto that?"
It was two days before he ran into Dr. Freeman again. The silent scientist had been trying to use a microwave, when the thing had decided to explode and start a minor fire in the Rec Room. Fortunately, Barney and another guard had been nearby, and the mess had been sorted out quickly. Three days after that, Barney was called in to rescue Dr. Freeman, who'd got himself stuck in an elevator. Admittedly, it probably wasn't his fault. Anyone could have been in that elevator when it had jammed. But Barney was beginning to detect a pattern.
A week (and two more minor mishaps) later found Barney heading into the cafeteria for his lunch break. He had to admit, even if the food wasn't all that great, the cafeteria itself was pretty awesome: Built into the side of a cave, the cafeteria was arranged on a sort of balcony. Below was a clear blue pool of water. Above, the cave opened up to the outside, letting in the sunlight and a few glimpses of blue sky. It was probably some kind of safety hazard, but it was pretty cool, all the same.
That should be this place's motto. "Science: Probably a safety hazard, but still freakin' awesome." And speaking of safety hazards... He spotted quiet Dr. Freeman sitting at one of the nearby tables, picking at his food while he read some scientific journal or other.
Barney wandered over to one of two fire extinguishers that were positioned in various points along the wall for easy access, and lifted it off of its hook. Then, tucking it under one arm, he approached the scientist's table. He set the fire extinguisher down on the table top with a decisive thud, and as Dr. Freeman looked up, startled, Barney slid into the seat opposite and folded his arms, looking expectantly at the scientist.
Dr. Freeman eyed the fire extinguisher, and then turned his gaze to Barney, awaiting the punchline with one eyebrow arched.
"Just being prepared," Barney drawled. "'Cos I know you're gonna spontaniously combust, or the table's going to explode. Or maybe you'll get your head stuck in the trashcan or something, and then it's going to somehow catch on fire..."
The bespectacled scientist made a soft sound that might have been a laugh. He was definitely looking amused, even if he was almost as stingy with his facial expressions as he was with his words.
"I'm serious," Barney continued, starting to grin. "No offense, but you've got the worst luck I have ever seen. And workin' here? That's sayin' something. You've got talent."
Dr. Freeman's smile widened a tiny notch, and he shrugged, eloquently indicating his resignation over his complete and total absence of good luck.
Barney leaned forward, offering his hand. "Barney Calhoun. I figure, if I'm going to have to fish you out of any more trouble, I might as well introduce myself."
After a small hesitation, the scientist accepted the offered hand. "Gordon Freeman."
"Ah, Barney!"
The two men, scientist and security guard, both swiveled their heads towards the source of the voice. Dr. Kleiner had approached unnoticed, and now stood beaming at the two of them over the cafeteria tray he carried. Barney grinned, "Heya, Doc."
"I see you've met Gordon," Dr. Kleiner observed, cheerfully, setting his tray down at their table, before giving the fire extinguisher a questioning look. "What in the world...?"
Barney jerked a thumb at Gordon. "Just making sure I'm ready for the next Dr. Freeman inspired emergency."
Dr. Kleiner chuckled, "Ah, I see." The older scientist glanced at the younger, adding, "I'm a little surprised. I wouldn't have expected your reputation to have travelled so fast. After all, you've only been here a few weeks."
Gordon just shrugged.
"He's been busy," Barney explained, dryly. Then his curiousity got the better of him. "So, you knew G-... Dr. Freeman-"
"'Gordon'," interjected the man himself. When Barney glanced at him, he explained, "Just 'Gordon'."
"Alright." Barney turned back to Dr. Kleiner, "You knew this walking safety hazard, Doc? From before, I mean."
"Oh, certainly. I'm sure I must have mentioned him a time or two. Gordon Freeman was one of my best students when I was teaching at MIT... though he was a bit accident prone, even then."
"Huh. Come to think of it, I guess you have mentioned him before. I'd forgot."
They both glanced over, as Gordon stood up. He seemed to take in their puzzled expressions, and gestured to the empty mug in his hand. "Coffee," he explained, elaborately.
As Gordon wandered away, Barney quirked a brow at Dr. Kleiner. Dammit, now he's got me doing it. "Has he always been this... talkative?"
The older scientist nodded, poking at his food a little dubiously. "Oh, my, yes. I think the most I've ever heard him say at once was during a discussion over the theory of teleportation. But he always seems to get his point across, in any case."
There was a loud bang, and then a sizzle from the other side of the cafeteria that made them both jump, Barney almost knocking his chair over. He looked around frantically for a moment, but it wasn't hard to find the source of the disturbance: Gordon Freeman was backing cautiously away from the remains of the coffee machine, which had somehow exploded and then caught on fire. Barney gaped for a moment. "Oh for... I was joking!"
He grabbed for the fire extinguisher.