The Cullens Go Crazy – A Diary Entry by Demitria
Dear diary,
Today was a very weird day… Extremely weird. It all started out like this:
I had just come back from a hunting trip and realized that the house was insanely chaotic. I walked into the house and immediately realized that something was wrong. I heard music coming from the large speakers in the living room. If I wasn't mistaken, it was Womanizer by Britney Spears and when I walked into the living room, I nearly had a coronary… Wait… I can't have a coronary 'cause I'm a vampire. Ha ha ha! I am so funny! Anyways, when I walked in, I was in complete and utter shock, and not to mention a little bit disgusted. The stood Emmett in shorts and a bra, dancing with Rosalie and belting out the lyrics to Womanizer. He kept screaming, "Shake it, baby, shake it!" and all I did was stare, dumbfounded, astonished, revolted...
Next, I went to Bella and Edward's cottage and saw Renesmee making out with Jacob. That's right, MAKING OUT WITH A WEREWOLF. Gosh, I'm shuddering at the thought of it. When I interrupted their little rendezvous, Jacob kicked me out and I felt really grossed out and mad at the same time.
Next, I went back to the Cullen house and looked around for Jasper. I needed to ask him something really important. I knocked on the door of his room and my mouth hung open when I saw what he was doing. He was wearing leather skinny jeans, no shirt and a mullet wig. Did I mention what he was doing? He was "performing" a little dance for Alice, who sat on the couch, screaming in some foreign language. They didn't even stop when I came in! I decided to leave before I attacked one of them.
After that, I looked for Carlisle so I could ask him to restore some order in this house. But then I discovered that he was gone and left a note saying that he and Esme went to Vegas to gamble… Awkward! Carlisle didn't seem like the type that gambled.
Soon, I went to look for Edward and Bella and found them in the yard and when I saw what they were doing, I though I was going to run away screaming. Edward and Bella were riding on the wolves' back and guess who joined them? THE VOLTURI! THE VOLTURI CAME ALL THE WAY FROM FREAKING ITALY TO RIDE ON A BUNCH OF STUPID MONGRELS' BACKS?! What the hell was the world coming to?
I ran upstairs to my room after seeing everything and listened to my iPod for a few hours. Then, when I felt calm and there were no signs of craziness, I went downstairs and everyone was gone. What on earth was wrong with me?
And that is my story.
-Demitria Cullen