Title: Picnic Predicaments
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Characters: Haruhi, Tamaki
Word Count: 714
Rating: G
Summary: Picnics normally require some planning. But when the Host Club is involved, instruction manuals might be a good idea.
It was a simple thing really, but like anything with the Host club, Haruhi should have known that it would get blown out of proportion. It was just supposed to be a simple picnic with sandwiches, fruit, snacks-- the usual. Perhaps if she hadn't forgotten to grab the sugar to sweeten the cut fruit, things wouldn't have spiraled out of control; but it was more likely due to the fact that she gave Tamaki the duty of assembling the sandwiches while she went to gather the rest of her materials.
In her defense, Haruhi had given Tamaki instructions on how to put together the sandwich and she had given the other club members duties setting up for the outing at the picnic site so that Tamaki would have little distraction. Either way, it wasn't enough guidance to prevent any of the range of disasters that had a tendency to happen when the exuberant Tamaki was involved.
But back to the point, she didn't see it coming and even a little bit of hindsight wouldn't have prepared her for the sight she was graced with when she came back into the room.
There was Tamaki.
With a stick.
Poking the sandwich meat.
With the stick.
Where he had acquired the stick was unbeknownst to her, but the fact still remained that he was poking the sandwich meat like a little boy who had found something interesting, and possibly dead, alongside of the road.
Apparently, sandwich making instructions needed to include less information on how to slice the tomatoes (although, that was a very important aspect of things and necessary in preventing mortal sandwich induced finger injuries) and more on how lunch meat was not a toxic substance and therefore it was unnecessary to probe it with a 3 foot long stick. Haruhi wasn't sure why this would have to be included in instructions on how to make a "commoner" sandwich, it seemed to be rather unnecessary information and it really didn't enhance the flavor of the food. Unless one counted the little bits of bark that seemed to adhere themselves to the meat.
This particular scenario only could have happened with Tamaki.
Kyouya would have just ordered the Ootori chefs to come in and prepare an extravagant spread of sandwiches with the highest quality breads and meats. All of which would have been added to her personal—and ever increasing—debt to the club's Shadow King. The meal would have been delicious of course, but there was no way Haruhi was going to allow Kyouya to corner her into throwing more money into her seemingly black hole of debt.
The twins would have ended up having a fight with the sandwich ingredients. Lunch meat would have been stuck to the ceiling and mustard would have covered everything, including her own clothes. This then would have prompted one of the twins "lets dress Haruhi up" schemes. This would have in turn been used by Kyouya to make money.
Sandwich making with Honey would be much less messy, but it would definitely be less palatable. Unless you were Honey that is. Haruhi could just imagine the whipped cream and frosting that would coat the inside of the bread instead of mayonnaise. Her teeth hurt just thinking about it. Jelly bean buns and sugar sandwiches just would have had her visiting the dentist for months after eating them.
In truth, Mori probably would have been the best choice for assistant chef on this endeavor. He would have followed her instructions to the letter and had the meal mostly assembled by the time she had gotten back with the sugar for the fruit. But, his strength was honestly better put to use helping unload the heavier things at the picnic site. In reality, that wasn't the only reason why she didn't have Mori help with the food.
The reason really was that Haruhi didn't have the heart to say no to Tamaki. When she set out the duties for the outing, Tamaki practically fell out of his chair waving his hand to get her attention when she asked who wanted to help her assemble the meal. He was just so excited.
Plus, he looked absolutely adorable in the 'Kiss the Cook' apron that she had brought from home.