I felt like writing this because Endrance is too obsessed with Haseo and I like Bo. So here it is. A fun little story between future Elk and Mr. Personality.
.Hack/ GU
Roses are red and my armor is purple like your hat.
Mac Anu is as peaceful as ever with everyone's favorite ex-PKK and new newbie friend out on the streets patrolling on his steam bike as he accidentally bumps into players. However this story is not about him. This is about everyone favorite introverted pretty boy Endrance. Today Endrance is going to complete a quest and claim the prize and offer it to Haseo as a symbol of his love.
Endrance: I would like to accept the quest "Proof of love."
Quest Shop: Quest requires two players in love.
Endrance: In love. No couple in "The World" is more in love then Haseo and I.
Meanwhile, a few blocks away and within hearing distance.
Atoli: Oh Haseo, wasn't it fun helping all those people today.
Haseo: I guess. It's been quiet lately. Kinda weird to play for the sake of fun again.
Atoli: Well how about we go do a quest?
Haseo: Which one?
Atoli: Well… uhhh… their's a limited time quest going on called "Proof of love." It gives a really nice reward! I mean, it's not like that as in love love I just mean that we can do it and get the prize and it's not like we are actually in love because it's just a quest in a game and the polygons and-
Haseo: Sure.
Atoli: You mean it! You really mean it! Really really! YIPEE!
Back with our favorite introvert.
Endrance: Well… Haseo is just being nice to her. It's not like their in love because we're in love and Haseo is just nice to people and if he knew that I wanted to do the quest with him then he would have come with me and we would have frolicked across a field of roses and it's not like I'm just going to be rude Atoli asked before and I am know deep in my heart Haseo and I-
Haseo: Hi Endrance.
Endrance: Oh! Haseo! What are you doing here?
Haseo: Atoli and I are going to do a quest.
Atoli: Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Yay!
Atoli danced with joy with the /dance command.
Haseo: What are you doing Endrance?
Endrance: I was going to do a quest, but I left something in my guild storage okay bye-bye.
Endrance ran off.
Haseo: But you're not in a guild.
Atoli: Haseo! The quest!
Haseo: Oh! Right.
Meanwhile, in an ally way.
Endrance: Oh dear. This is a problem. No what do I do. I need the prize to give to Haseo as proof of my love, but what's the point if he just gets another with that girl. Oh Haseo, how could you do this to me?
Endrance sulked for a half an hour, until he heard his precious Haseo's voice.
Haseo: Ugh, that quest is hard considering its name and our levels.
Atoli: I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
Haseo: No it isn't.
Endrance decided to step in.
Endrance: So you failed?
Haseo: Huh? Oh. Yah.
Endrance's thoughts: This is perfect! This is a sign that her feelings aren't as great as mine! I'll invite him! And make him mine!
Endrance: Haseo, want to go on a quest?
Haseo's thoughts: Oh Aura! He want's to take me on that quest! No way. Not with Endrance!
Haseo: No thanks. I have a real world errand to run.
Haseo logged out.
Endrance: Oh.
Atoli: I need to log off to.
Atoli's thought: HASEO IS MINE!
Atoli logged off.
Endrance: Now what do I do now?
Meanwhile, everyone's favorite warlock with a jesters hat decided to show up.
Bo: Hi Endrance.
Endrance: Oh… hi… uhhh… What was your name again?
Bo: Uhh, it's Bo.
Endrance: Oh… yah… I knew that. You're here to pester me with something. What?
Bo: Huh? Oh, you're thinking of Saku.
Endrance: Oh… yah… I knew that…
Endrance's thoughts: Perhaps I should have bothered to get everyone's name back in GU so this wouldn't be so awkward next time. Let's see their's that guy with the pony-tail, shaved head, booberella, oh forget it.
Endrance: So why are you talking to me.
Bo: To say hi.
Endrance: Oh yes. Of course.
Bo: What are you doing?
Endrance: Well I wanted to go on a quest with Haseo but he logged out.
Bo: Why don't we do it?
Endrance: Huh?
Bo: We are friends right?
Endrance: Well… yah.
Bo: Then let's go.
Endrance's thoughts: I guess I could use him to get the gift and present it to Haseo. Yes! That's it. I'll use him.
Endrance: Well let's go Bob!
Bo: Bo.
Endrance: Right, Bobby.
At the quest shop.
Bo: You wanted to do that quest with Haseo?
Saku's thoughts: HE WANTED TO DO THAT WITH HASEO! MASTER ENNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Endrance: Yes, but how about we do it?
Bo: Huh? But isn't that a lovey dovey quest?
Saku's thoughts: BO SWITCH PLACES WITH ME RIGHT NOW! THIS MOMENT! NOW NOW NOW NOW!
Endrance: Well it's just a game, I mean it's not like they can read our feelings. It's just NPCs and scripted events. And the prize is really rare.
Bo: Well, okay.
Saku's thoughts: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WANT TO DO THIS QUEST WITH ENDRANCE!
Bo: My head hurts.
Endrance: Let's go.
Bo: Oh, right.
Quest Information: A monster that feeds on love is terrorizing our land. Please, two great warriors with an endless barrel of love, come and save us from divorce hell! You will find the monster resting at DELTA TERRORIZING LOVE ETERNAL.
Delta Terrorizing Love Eternal
Endrance: It's just a typical boss quest. How anti-climactic.
Bo: Well that's a good thing right? That means an easy rare item.
Endrance: It's boring though. Where is the passion in it?
Bo: Well… uhh… I don't know.
Endrance: Well let's go.
Bo: Right!
Saku's thoughts: WHHHHHHY AURA WHHHHHHHY! WHY CAOULDN'T IT BE MEEEEEEE!
Endrance and Bo make their way across the field of monsters.
Endrance: DEVIL SWORD!
And the enemies fell.
Bo: You're so powerful.
Endrance: Beauty is strength and I am the most beautiful… except for her…
Bo: Her? Who's her?
Endrance: No one you need to concern yourself with.
Bo: Was it that cat? Back when you were infected by AIDA?
Endrance: Who told you about that?
Bo: Saku did. She talks all about you.
Endrance: It must be annoying.
Bo: It is a little…
Saku's thoughts: I didn't disappear for this!
Bo: …but it makes her so happy and I love to see her happy.
Saku's thoughts: Oh Bo.
Endrance: You two are very close.
Bo: Well yah. Heh. She is inside me.
Endrance: Right.
Endrance's thoughts: WHAT! INSIDE HIM! When did this happen? I really need to may more attention to things that aren't Haseo… nah.
Bo: So will you please tell me who her is?
Endrance: …I guess, but you are not to tell Haseo or your annoying sister about this. Heaven forbid that Haseo think I was cheating on him, and your sister scares me.
Saku's thoughts: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MASTER ENNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Bo: Promise!
Endrance: She was a player I loved back in the R1 days. However she died, and she isn't coming back. It took me a long time to get over her death. One moment we were dancing in the fields, the next she was gone, and never coming back no matter how much I wish.
Bo: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was tragic. I'm so sorry.
Endrance: Don't be. I told you because I felt like it. But don't tell Haseo, got it.
Bo: Promise :)
The two continued into the boss.
Scripted boss text: I AM LOVELESS! THE EATER OF LOVE!
Endrance: What an ugly name.
Bo: Not very original either.
Scripted boss text: DO YOU THINK YOUR LOVE CAN BEAT ME! FOOLISH! PREPARE YOURSELVES! RAWR!
Endrance: This will be over quick. DEVIL SWORD!
Endrance did 0 damage.
Endrance: What! But I'm level 150 and maxed out my job level. This isn't right.
Bo: Maybe magic. ORANI ZAT!
Bo did 0 damage.
Endrance: Physical and magic damage do nothing? This isn't right.
Scripted Boss Text: HAR HAR HAR! YOUR ATTACKS ARE NOTHING! YOU LACK POWERFUL LOVE!
Endrance: What is this…
Bo: Maybe the game CAN read our lack of love!
Endrance: That is… idiotic.
Scripted Boss Text: ONES LIKE YOU THAT CAN'T CONFESS LOVE ARE UNWORTHY! RAWR!
The boss let loose a devastating attack that killed Endrance… well it brought his HP to 0. Bo used revival medicine.
Bo: That was strong!
Endrance: Thank you. Oh what do we do?
Scripted Boss Text: ONES LIKE YOU THAT CAN'T CONFESS LOVE ARE UNWORTHY! RAWR!
Endrance: That message again.
Bo: It must be a clue on how to beat it.
Endrance: …Oh! I think I have it, but… it's… how do I say it? Awkward.
Bo: Huh?
Scripted Boss Text: ONES LIKE YOU THAT CAN'T CONFESS LOVE ARE UNWORTHY! RAWR!
Endrance: Bo, remember I am doing this to get the prize.
Bo: Okay?
Endrance: I love you.
Bo: Huh?
Scripted Boss Text: AGUH! THEIR LOVE IS TO STRONG! RAWR!
The boss dropped dead and there was a moment of awkwardness.
Bo: What a weird boss.
Saku's thoughts: AGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! I WANTED TO HEAR THOSE WORDS! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!
Bo: Ow, my headache again.
Scripted NPC: Oh my. Your love has conquered the monster!
Endrance: It was an empty line. My heart belongs to Haseo.
Scripted NPC: To celebrate your victory! We'll have a wedding event!
Endrance: What!?
Bo: Huh!?
The two were warped to a scripted ceremony. Endrance is in a tux, Bo in a wedding dress.
Bo: Why am I in a wedding dress!
Endrance: Well your character is coded as female.
Bo: Yah, but I'm not…
The two PCs moved forward.
Bo: I can't control myself.
Endrance: It must be a scripted event. Don't worry.
NPC: You may kiss the bride.
Endrance: Huh?
Bo: Huh?
The two PCs slowly inched toward one another.
Endrance: What!? No. I'm saving this for Haseo.
Bo: But I haven't had my first kiss yet!
Saku's thoughts: Ehhhhhh, perhaps I shouldn't tell him…
Perhaps they should realize this is just an MMORPG and not the real world, but this is .hack and in .hack games are a serious thing.
Bo: NOOOOOO!
Endrance: NOOOOO!
I'll spare you the details and just move on.
Back in Mac Anu Endrance and Bo looked at their character status. In Endrance's menu it said Husband of Sakubo. In Sakubo's menu it said Wife of Endrance.
Endrance: …Bo…
Bo: Yah?
Endrance: I want a divorce.
The two fell over laughing using the /fall-and-laugh command.
Endrance: Well until we can sort this out we don't tell a soul.
Bo: Agreed. :)
Endrance: Strange, I don't have any new item.
Bo: Oh! I got is. Bride's rose. It nullifies seventy percent of both physical and magical damage. Wow, what a nice item.
Endrance's thoughts: Oh! How do I give this to Haseo?
Bo: You have it.
Endrance: Bo?
Bo: You figured out how to beat it after all. And you wanted to give it to Haseo right?
Endrance: Right… Thanks Bo.
Bo: Oh, I got another item.
Endrance: What?
Bo: Bride's gown. :( And it's costume armor.
They both fell over laughing again.
Saku had been sulking the whole time over the events.
The next day.
Endrance: Haseo!
Haseo: Oh hey Endrance. Guess what! Me and Atoli beat the event.
Atoli arrived wearing her new armor.
Atoli: Hello Endrance.
Atoli's thoughts: HE'S MINE NOW!
Endrance: Then that means you're married!?
Haseo: Heh, yah. I'm sill questioning the forums for how to get rid of the status.
Atoli: There is no need for that.
Haseo: Huh?
Atoli: Nothing.
Haseo: So how do you know about that marriage event?
Endrance: No reason!
Haseo: Okay. Well I got this nice item that nullifies a lot of damage.
Endrance: Oh…
Haseo: Yah. So what is it Endrance.
Endrance: Oh, nothing. I need to be going now. Later Haseo.
Haseo: Later.
Meanwhile, we go back to a certain someone's favorite ally way.
Endrance: This sucks.
Bo: Oh, hey Endrance.
Endrance: What are you doing here?
Bo: I wanted to ask how it went with Haseo.
Endrance: He beat it… with Atoli!
Endrance used the /cry-like-a-baby command.
Bo: Oh, well it's okay. Their will be other events.
Endrance: I guess your right.
Bo: That's right! :)
Endrance: Thank you Bo. I feel better now.
Bo: That's great.
Endrance: Bo, take the rose back.
Bo: But you are the one who won it.
Endrance: I don't need it, and it is the "bride's" rose. :)
Bo: Uhhh… Thanks. Uhh… Endrance. Can I call you big brother Endrance?
Endrance: That depends.
Bo: Oh?
Endrance: I get to call you little brother Bo.
Bo: Okay.
Endrance: AndyouhavetohelpmecaptureHaseo'sheartfromtheevilmaniaclaharpyAtoli!
Bo: Uhh….Okay?
Endrance: Brother!
Bo: Brother! Did you figure out about the divorce?
Endrance: Yep, we have to do another quest... In three months…
Bo: Awww…
And the newlyweds/brothers lived happily ever after… Except for…
Saku: MASTER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!