Freed Too Soon: Deleted/Remade Chapters
Chapter 4: Lost in Life
There was no dream this time, no blue bird to guide me, no light and no darkness… one minute I was plummeting to the earth and the next I woke up feathers completely drenched and lying in the wing deep side of the of a deep pond. I realized I was floating effortlessly above the water, the pond must have a high salt concentration. I tried to get up, and though I got close enough to the edge of the pool that I could stand I also got a beak-full of salt water. Immediately I spat out the dehydrating water.
Looking over myself I was surprised to find that other than a sore claw, a patch of feathers missing, and a smallish gash in my right wing (that has already stopped bleeding) I was fine. That last part, though up lifting, was also disheartening.
I just learned how to fly, and now I'm grounded again… I thought, but deciding that pessimism was no way to go I looked to the bright side of things. Well at least I'm alive, and I'm not too hurt either. The wing will heal in just a while. I didn't know how long I had been unconscious but it was night time again... a dangerous time for a flightless bird to be on the ground.
The first thing I did was put some mud on me, sure it felt slimy but it would help hide my scent from anything that wanted to eat me… not getting eaten sounded like a good idea.
I needed to figure out where I am. As I trudged along the leafy undergrowths of the forest I brought up the last few minutes of falling out of the sky that I could remember. Freezing the image when my head was tilted towards the ground I deduce that I'm only a mile off from the pear tree… but also about 3 miles under it.
Getting to the top of a nearby mango tree I looked around, the cliff was right in front of me, extending out far into the air, and the little moon of Rio outlining it in crystal clarity. I have a long way to go… and a long way to climb.
With my feet shuffling beneath me, slightly favoring my better claw, I walked towards the cliff. With the moon high in the sky and only the trees as my company, my thoughts wandered and I thought of Linda, whom I had left in Minnesota. Was she looking for me? Does she miss me? I look up at the stars. Are we looking at the same moon? Right now..? I had promised myself, that we'd meet again, but how could we? How could I get back to Minnesota? How could I get on a plane without a human to help me? I am just a pet after all. I thought with profound sadness. I shouldn't be thinking like this… it won't help.
"Late night." I said, making a poem to keep myself occupied. "When candlelight.
"Just wasn't right.
Better be moonlight,
making sky bright,
and Allowing sight
And my mind
Try as it might,
Couldn't hold my fancies tight,
And it seemed like
A turn left or right.
Would not matter on this late night."
As I rounded the last tree I saw the cliff before me. With the last few words of the poem on my lips. Wow. I thought. That's was actually pretty good… I wonder where it came from.
As I let out a whistle of satisfaction and of a job ahead, the falcon landed behind me.
Nerves spazzing and heart racing I rolled to the side jumped and glided to extend my leap. Looking back I could see that the falcon was… not… moving?
"Wow, you're a fast little bugger aren't you, not surprised you beat that snake." It said, it's entire appearance suddenly appearing to be friendlier, and no longer threatening.
"I- I'm Blu…" I sputtered completely and utterly confused as to what the falcon wants with me. "Wait, Y-you're not going to eat me?"
"Oh, of course not, not that kind of falcon see?" It said stretching its wings to show me it's patterns, I was surprised that I couldn't identify his species immediately. "I eat squirrels, mice, and stuff like that, no birds in my diet. Well, my name is Ricardo, what's a little guy like you doing on the ground at night?"
Well… he hasn't eaten me yet… might as well ask him if he could help me. "Well, I'm actually trying to get to the top of this cliff, can you give me a ride Ricardo?
"Why? Can't you fly?" He asked quizzically.
I showed him the gash in my wing. "Not at the moment, no."
"Ah, shame, that should heal up quite nicely soon though. Sure I'd be happy to give you a lift."
The slight optimistic part of my brain ringed out a quick peep of 'I told ya so' and went back to rest again. "Thanks. I won't forget this… "
"Don't mention it, just helping out your fellow man."
"No I actually won't forget it, I have a photographic memory." I said… with sad realization that my best jokes are just so horrible.
"Hmmm. I'll keep that in mind, come on let's go." Ricardo grabbed me by the wings that were now tucked against my body and took flight.
I've done a lot of things in my life, though most of the interesting ones happened in the last week, but to fly… to truly fly, to dangle in the air and to just look down on the world is exhilarating. The moon was like a spotlight, one that always had everyone and everything in its center. At night everything is tinted silver, from the forests and their trees to the ocean way off in the distance, everything except Rio. It shined its own lights, its own spotlight, Christ the Redeemer standing tall within its brilliance. It reminded me of Minnesota, it was a cheerful little place, full of companionship and beauty… but then again, the most I've seen of Minnesota is the Vet, the library, and Linda's bookstore… so I think I have a biased view of things. Still though, seeing the little colorful city was nostalgic for me, but Minnesota wasn't the only thing on my mind.
I looked at that small happy place and I remembered when Jewel and I first met… over the years, I had worked up a fantasy past, it was my time with Jewel, a rework of changes, finished jokes, and no misunderstandings that I had pasted into my mind. It was something that I would call on, on days when I was mad, taunted, or generally blue… but this time it was the real thing, all the blunders, all the messed up moments, filled with embarrassing mistakes. And I realized that this one was actually better… not just because it actually happened, but because I'm actually me, and she is her, it isn't the same otherwise.
"We're here." Ricardo said dropping me onto the ground. "If you don't mind buddy, I've got to get going, I live just on that Cliffside… if you ever need anything then you just call out at top okay?"
Leaving the means of finding him again he left.
In front of me was the pear tree I had rested in for the last week. There was no sign of Jewel.
She isn't here. A deathly voice whispered inside my mind.
I brushed it away…. She had to be.
"Is anybody there?" I called out.
"Jewel are you there?"
I looked around, climbing to the top of the pear tree and back down again, trying desperately to find her. But I couldn't find her. By the time midnight rolled the full moon to the top of the sky I had been around the old plant more times than I would care to remember.
"Jewel?" I cried one last time, wishing to the stars for an answer.
She wasn't there…
With that all my hopes flew away, the glimmer that had led me for so long, that had led me to Rio, was snuffed from existence, the blackness of the night engulfed and despair became my shroud and cloak.
I've given up.
The tendrils of sadness that I had buried deep within myself, buried deep by Jewel and her presence, in her absence slithered from its hiding spot to claim a portion of my life as its own. With my eyes closed I could see that even the azure dot that in the real world had given me so much meaning, and in my dreams had given me guidance was so far away, it may as well as have disappeared.
"Go! She's gone you may as well go too!" I shouted to the heavens, not caring who might be listening. "Just go!"
When I close my eyes, it wasn't there anymore.
"No… No! Please I didn't mean it!" I cried, realizing what I had done, but it was too late, the damage was there.
"Please…" I sobbed and for the first time since I had come back, I truly felt my heat crack, splinter, and break upon the dirt, shattering into a million irretrievable pieces to be cast away into the breeze.
I fell to my knees, my wings cupping my chest, and bowed before that old pear tree. I had told her that I'd always be by her side... and yet I've failed even in that...
"Please…"
Chapter 5: Friend For Fatherly Figure
I'm not sure how long I lay there, just drowning myself in my own misery, I'm not sure if I had fallen asleep or not … but it felt like days, weeks, or even months however when hunger finally drove me to move from my wallowing I found that it was only dawn.
I took a few bites out of a fallen pear but loneliness chased away my appetite. Not caring where I was going, I let my feet take me where they wanted to.
I just kept walking… it seemed that my legs knew where they were taking me… I could only follow.
As the sun poked its first rays across the mountain tops to light the world I stopped moving. Around me the whole scenery had changed, I was in a small clearing surrounded by tree hollows, and has-been nests… wait.
I tested my wings with a few flaps, it didn't sting too bad. I flew up onto a branch that had a nest resting between a fork in the wood. There were golden feathers inside, memory, long lost began to form inside my mind.
This was my home… this was where I was born… it was like nothing in this place had changed, like everything was frozen, frozen as my last memory of it, right before I was taken…
Deep within the crevasses of my mind, resting things stirred and old things rose… I could see the wispy images of the birds that once lived here, dancing in my memories, dancing like they used to, and inside the hollow that had been my own… my parents…
I could see them, so high above my young head, so great and protecting. So... magnificent.
"We'll name him, Brilho." The dark one said... my father.
"That's a wonderful name." My mother echoed, her voice fading away. "We love you our little brilliant light."
Then it was gone, soon as it had appeared... leaving me once again alone.
It used to be a home… and now… it's not even a house anymore.
With the sun now high in the sky a song played in the back of my mind, and I looked around the abandoned nest.
A chair is still a chair
Even when there's no one sitting there.
But a chair is not a house
And a house is not a home
When there's no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight.
A room is still a room
Even when there's nothing there but gloom.
But a room is not a house
And a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart.
And one of us has a broken heart.
Now and then I call your name
And suddenly a face appears.
But it's just a crazy game
And it ends,
It ends in tears.
So darling, have a heart.
Don't let one mistake keep us apart.
I'm not meant to live alone,
Turn this house into a home.
When I climb the stair and turn the key,
please be there,
Still in love with me.
It was a fitting song, but it didn't really make me feel much better… however it was good to let some of the emotion out. I guess.
"Sad isn't it?" A voice said behind me. "It all gone."
My heart leapt... someone in my old hollow? Could it be? Should I hope?
"Mom?" I said turning around, feeling my heart for the first time since I lost Jewel. It was gone in the next moment.
The bird standing beside me was not a Spix Macaw, but a Blue-and-Gold Macaw, and she was much too young to be my mother. She was a lot younger than Jewel too.
She looked at me with concern and sadness.
"Oh, sorry, I'm not y our mum… My name is Celine, what's your's?"
I thought about it for a second... Brilho... why not? It was the name my parents gave me. No that's all in my past. I thought. They're gone and it's gone with them.
"I'm Blu." I said finally.
We went back to Celine's nest, and she told me about her life, and although she side-stepped the topic of her parents she basically told me anything worth knowing about her, while I reluctantly told her everything about me.
"Wow... that's... horrible." Celine said as I finished a wing over her mouth. "Ar-are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah... I guess I'm as okay as I could be." I sighed. "As I could be…"
"Hey come on, you're not alone, you've still got Rafael!" She said. "And you found me didn't you?"
I smiled. "Yeah I guess. Thanks."
He smiled at me, and all of a sudden he reminded me of Father… I looked down at my claws and shuffled my wings. It's been a long time since Father went away.
"Well… do you know what you're going to do now?" I asked.
"I- I don't know, I guess tomorrow I'll ask around the crowd of Rio… see if they've seen her around… anywhere."
He cares so much… how could anyone not want to be with him? I thought to myself. Kind and compassionate… no wonder he reminds me of daddy...
"You know if you ever needed a place to stay you could always come here?"
"Your parents don't live here?" He whispered.
"No... I… I don't have any parents. "
"Oh… well, thanks then." He reached out to shake my wing.
A little buzz of joy went through my heart and I smiled, taking the gesture. "No problem."
But wait, if he's going to stay in my nest… I'll have to clean it! It's a mess! I thought.
Looking around at the dusty little place I called home I inwardly sighed. Just what can I do anyway? He's IN here already.
It's not like he's blind. I thought. He must be okay with it.
Trying not to think about the most redundant and stupid of things I said. "If you want I could go get some food for you?"
"Oh, no, no. I can do it by myself."
"Nonsense, you're hurt." I said looking at his wing. "In fact you should make yourself comfortable and rest for a while, and I'll go."
"… uh… well I guess if you ins-"
"Great!" I said and flew outside out of the nest.
Looking out as the last bit of blue left as the macaw flew from her little home here I let out a sad sigh and made myself comfortable like the little girl had asked me to. My god she was little more than a chick, what was she doing out here? Alone? How does she live? I'll have to ask her when she flies back… she's so young, but I don't see any of the innocence that I see in the other chicks I've seen.
Something terrible must have happened to her… I thought.
She had sympathized with me, tried to help me cope with my pain when she couldn't be older than 4 years old… and she had asked me what I was going to do…
What was I going to do? What if I find Jewel again… she wants nothing to do with me…
She doesn't care, so why should you? That ugly little voice at the back of my head spoke up again.
"Because I love her." I rebutted. "I don't need another reason."
Well apparently she doesn't like your reason. It echoed a reply, and though it was not real I could feel its presence leaving as it did.
"Great… I'm lonely and I'm talking to myself." I muttered.
I couldn't sleep, even though I was tired, even though at every turn today the real world had been nothing but disappointments slumber eluded me at every grasp.
This is why I had a life within the books. I thought. Their world was so much better than this one…
I suddenly realized; I was afraid. What would I see if I would go to sleep? Would Jewel be there? Or would she still be lost to me? Would anything I have ever had the chance of wishing for be truly taken away from me? I think so… but I don't want to find out.
Giving up on sleep I looked up into the sky, sliced and broken from the branches of the tree I was in.
Is that what I look like on the inside? I thought. All broken?
I smiled a little, I wasn't there yet, maybe I was far, and maybe I was close to it but I was certainly not there yet.
A blast of wind ruffled my feathers again and though I could still feel that, though my heart was shattered, the pieces may not have been as irretrievable as I thought they were.
Where there's hope there is heart, and with the knowledge that Jewel is out there somewhere I could feel my hope along with my heart slowly growing back to burn within my chest.
It is amazing what a simple friend can do… even if it's one you've only known for a day.
I fiddled around with things in my mind, brining up puzzles I've done before, books I've read and movies I've seen to play inside my head… but they all ended with Jewel at the end.
Looks like even after all that she's still never left my mind. I thought smiling. I must be hopeless.
That little nasty voice came to haunt me again. She tried to kill you, you know?
"She didn't mean it." I said not actually caring about its comments. I have to wonder if I am going crazy, though.
How do you know?
"Go away, you're not helping."
"What?" Celine called out from behind me.
Oh… SH-
"Oh! Sorry." Trying to apologize and explain what I said I turned around to face her… I was stunned.
She was covered head to toe in dirt, and she had ruffled feathers all over her body, the results of a beating. The fruit she held in her claws were smashed and disfigured.
"My GOD… who did this to you?" I whispered.
"No, please, it was my fault! I got too close to Reggie, this other Severe Macaw's territory. They've warned me to stay out of it before." She stammered, and pointed off into the general direction of where she came from.
Territory? Macaws didn't have territory! They lived with each other, in companionship. My eyes narrowed as I thought about it. And who in their right morals would attack a 4 year old girl? I'll have to see about this.
"I'll be right back." I growled and testing my hurt wing again I jumped from the nest and flew in the direction of where she pointed.
I didn't listen to the small "No, wait." that fluttered away in the distance.
Flying fast with a sense of righteousness at my wingtips I spied a large patch of fruits and nut that have gone completely unpicked.
"Looks like the right place." I grumbled to myself.
Landing next to a mango I reached out to pick it.
As if on cue a voice rang out from somewhere behind a bush. "Whoa! Just what do you think you're doing?"
With a few flaps a Severe Macaw about a head taller than me flew up and landed beside me and folded its wings in an 'I'm better than you' fashion. He was tall, a head bigger than me, but he also looked stupid. I mean he's here all by himself. I can only assume that his name was Reggie.
"Oh nothing." I said, smiling the most innocent smile I could. "Just getting some dinner."
"Well, I guess you're new here." He said this like he just stepped out from a frontal lobotomy. 'Weh-el, ah gea-ess yo-ar nea-oh he-ar' I think I'm getting more dumb just standing here…
"This here is my turf, and this is my fruit." He continued. "So you just get along."
I inwardly chuckled. I know this isn't usually how I am but I'm going to enjoy this. I thought.
"Well I guess you're going to hit me now huh?" I asked.
"Only if you take that mango."
"Ah…" I said, and looking carefully at the mango in the grasp of my wings, I pretended to be indecisive. I looked back at Reggie. "Then you take it."
I smiled my biggest smile yet and with a shrug pulled the mango off the branch and swun it around to smack into Reggie.
The plump fruit was just ripe enough to explode on contact with the big bird, drenching him in sticky liquids, and hard enough to send him soaring through the air. Oh, and the look on his face was priceless.
He landed back on the ground with a resounding thud.
It was a beautiful sight.
I looked over the branch I was on and tilted my head to be facing the ground. Mockingly I asked him. "How does it taste?"
Growling he limped to his feet and with the wing he didn't land on whistled with his beak. In an instant I was surrounded by at least 6 to 7 other Macaws. Reggie, still on the ground cried out. "Get, HIM!"
Oh geez.
In the next few minutes I was bleeding from my wing gash again, my face had been redecorated with highlights of black and purple, and some of my chest feathers have been ripped out.
Needless to say it hurt.
However so far it was still worth it to see Reggie covered in mango juices and limping up the tree.
I was being held by one of his hench-birds.
"You made a BIG mistake, blue bird." He said to me, close enough for me to smell the mango that was still covering him. "Big, mistake."
I looked up to meet his eyes, of which the edges were frazzled from the feathers that were completely redesigned by the hardening mango pulp.
"I know, and I'm sorry." I said, Reggie just looked confused. "I made you even uglier."
This little comment sent him into a rage, not merely because I had insulted him but because several of his men started snickering too.
"Shut Up! SHUTUP!" He screamed, silence was rewarded. "You will not live to regret this blue bird."
Eyeing the sky behind him and slightly twisting in the wing holds of the guy behind me I said. "Are you sure because I think he has something to say about it."
"Wha-" Reggie said turning around, and at that carefully chosen moment Ricardo whipped past him to land beside me. The force of air and wind sent him once again tumbling onto the ground below.
I burst out laughing. I think now, next to Jewel's voice, thuds were my favorite sound to hear.
The Blue-and-Gold macaw that was holding me couldn't figure out the situation, but seeing as how the falcon on the field was on my side he proved his intelligence by running away.
The rest of the cowards in the gang flew away too, not wanting to tangle with him, they were soon followed by the people who weren't so quick to run but quick to realize the odds of success when facing a falcon.
"Hey Blu, how ya doin'?" Ricardo squawked out.
"Doing okay, but it wouldn't have hurt if you'd come a few minutes earlier." I laughed.
"Hey, a guys got to make an entrance for himself you know?"
Reggie just groaned on the floor.
I sat there in the nest preening the dirt and berry juices from my feathers.
I hope Blu is okay. I thought to myself.
It was just him against 10 birds… what chance does he have to winning? I didn't want to believe the worst so I just stopped thinking about it.
I kept on checking the sky, trying to see if he was there yet, because if he came back, no matter how badly damaged he would at least be alive…
Would they really kill him? I asked myself. Would Reggie really do something like that?
Horrifyingly the answer that kept on bouncing back into my brain was a simple yes.
Suddenly I sky was filled with an ear-splitting screech and a falcon landed beside me with a green macaw in its claws and a blue macaw on it back.
I screamed. Oh damn! IT's a falcon! It's going to eat me! It's going to eat me! It's going to eat me!
Then I saw Blu on its back.
"Blu!" I said happier than I should have been, and ran to hug him, despite of the meat eating bird that was right under him.
"Hey, I'm back and I think Reggie here has something he wants to say to you. Don't you, Reggie?"
The falcon pressed a little on his neck and released him.
Reggie stood in front of me, rubbed his head and croaked out a short: "Sorry."
I was stunned. "Oh, well… okay apology accepted."
Then I turned to Blue. "How did you-"
I didn't need finish the question, because as Blu got down from the falcon I could see that the fight was written all over his body. His right wing was caked with blood and his face was all messed up from bruises.
"Oh… Oh my GOD! You have to sit down." I exclaimed.
"Hey, it's alright. He's fine little girl." The falcon said. "Blu here's a tough one. He's fought worse."
Even under his breath I could still here him muttering a quick. "Yeah of all the 2 fights I've been in, the other one was worse." While rolling his eyes.
I smiled. It was a great day.
Chapter 7: Jewel's Past
A dark blue bird, a male, drifted through the skies. To land in front of a lighter, sky blue bird that was resting on a near-by branch, she was a girl.
"You killed me Jewel." He said with the simple understanding of fact or of fiction, no conviction, and no emotion in his voice.
The lighter birder lowered her head. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."
The other bird nodded. "Maybe if you actually tell me you're sorry then I'll truly forgive you. For now this will be enough."
She was confused. "What? What do you mean?"
The darker bird continued on. "Just keep dreaming Jewel, and when you wake up, realize that I'm there for you."
"Okay… I guess."
"I'm always here Jewel, Always." The voice echoed as the bird dissolved and drifted away on an non-existent breeze.
Blackness ensued… and then…
Death. The same occurrence in every one of her vision before.
Gunfire, screams, and fleeing birds all streaked across the red dawn sky. Trees fell and animals died around her… yet she couldn't move. Only a year old again she stood underneath her parents, crying into their breasts, trying to hold them close... before it happened.
"Mama, Papa, please don't leave."
"We have to, Jewel." The lighter of the two said. It was her mother.
"But you don't know what'll happen if you go out there." The little girl looked up at them. "You don't know!"
"We're sorry, take care of yourself while we're gone, Jewel." Her father said. "We'll be back."
The pair blue Spix macaws leaped out of their hollow, only to be stopped by a monstrosity, so perverted and masticated by years of memory that all that was seen now was a black and gaping maw to swallow the parents.
As the tendrils of the monster wraps it's choking hold upon Jewel's parents they turn in the heart of the darkness and look back. Her mother's azure eyes were the last thing she saw before they disappeared.
Etched into them were an apology, for all the things she had ever done wrong. An apology for leaving her then and there… and it was an apology that she has never accepted.
Far in the deepest reaches of her dream, another blue bird swam in the stars.
Gasping I woke up on a mango tree deep inside of the forest. Dawn was breaking just like in my dream. I felt the last traces of the memories flow back into my heart, to crawl out again when slumber would try to submerge me yet again.
"You never came back Papa…" I whispered, looking up at the rising sun I buried my hurt again to take care of myself… like Papa had told me to.
As Jewel began flying again the birds of Rio sang their pity for her, for they had known her parents well.
She walks away with the feelings she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back;
Wearing the expression she wore yesterday,
No showin' emotion past the smile on her face ;
oh
The people wonders but they don't dare ask,
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask;
Bearing the burden of a secret storm,
Sometimes she wishes she was never born;
Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.
Concrete Angel
Somebody cries in the middle of the night,
The others hear but they turn out the lights;
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate,
When morning comes it will be too late.
Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.
Concrete Angel
Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.
Concrete Angel
As the sun moved into the position of noon I croaked to the wind, because I didn't want an answer back.
"I'm sorry Blu."
Chapter 7: Sadness and Surprises
SHIT THAT"S RIGHT AN UPDATE!~! XD
What I want to say is that this the quality of this story is going to get a lot more serious. There will of course mean that I won't update as consistently as I did before. (I'm already on "School Time" now so… this will have more of an effect in December.) But the story will have definite backbone from this moment on.
READ ME!
V
Guys seriously listen to the song Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. It really symbolizes the entire chapter really well… at least if Blu and Jewel were human, but you guys have imaginations go use them.
Blu
As the early dawn's buzzing coat of light sprinkled across the grayish sky, I streaked across the clouds as flashes of cerulean. I'd been up for a while now… bothering the birds that held their resident in Rio with my inquiries. To my utter but not complete dismay they had not seen her.
I had left Celine with Ricardo, while I set out on the quest, and… I couldn't keep focused. My thoughts kept jumping from a dizzying haze, covering everything I do, to such a clarity at times that I am beginning to question my own sanity. The emotions of the last few days frothed and broiled within me, threatening to spill into the real world. Am I still sane… would I know if I wasn't?
I had, or at least I had tried to bury the desperation and desolation that I had felt a few days ago… but now they were burrowing their way to the surface yet again. They were moving up and out to mingle with the throb of my wing and the ache at the back of my eyes.
It was times like these that the voice was strongest in my mind.
Why do you insist on following such a hopeless endeavor? It echoed. You're never going to find her. Just give up. It'll be easy.
She doesn't even love you…
"I am going to find her again." I said, my words in beat with the rhythm of my wings. "I found her before, I'll find her again."
How can you be so sure? It shivered in reply.
I had no answer to that.
Blocking the questions and doubts from the insipid voice I just flew.
Jewel
I pumped my wings, the feeling of a thousand perfect flights filled my wings and took over… it was natural. My mind wandered, with nothing to keep my company but my thoughts; I tried to keep them off Blu,… it wasn't possible.
I remember him, I was saved by him, I helped him but I pushed him away… and I killed him.
I killed him.
I closed my eyes against the invading thought, against the invading feeling. My chest and heart squeezed themselves so small that it hurt. It was a feeling I haven't felt since… since…
I opened my eyes again and set them into my destination. So many memories… so many painful memories… I'm going to leave them all behind, I going to go away. It was the best for everyone. It was the right thing to do…
But if it's right… then why does it just feel like running away…
…again…?
Blocking the ugly thoughts that haunted behind my wing beats I just flew.
Later: Blu
I had to rest. My wings ached profoundly and I couldn't fly anymore… it wouldn't do anymore good anyway… none of the people I had met and spoke with had seen her.
I descended into the marketplace and the colors of the streets of Rio.
Landing with unpracticed clumsiness, I managed to keep myself from falling, my body rocked back and forth a few moments before contact with the ground; the years of footwork that I had obtained as a skill served to prevent me from falling and hurting anything important. I sighed and once again allowed my spirits to plummet for the countless time today.
My cup had never been half full... it'd always been half empty but Jewel had filled it to the brim... and when she left she took it all with her.
I probably shouldn't be thinking like this.
The afternoon light glared into my eyes as I scuttled without purpose through the many streets of Rio. Moving from aisle to aisle of shops I scoured the ground and picked up some scraps to satisfy the protests of my stomach.
When I came to Rio… I didn't think for a second that it would end this way. I didn't think of what might possibly happen period.
I didn't care.
I just came for Jewel.
To just see her again.
My heart had told me to do that much and I listened… but now… I don't know what to do. What COULD I do? No one knew where she is… and no one knows her well enough to guess.
The dark thoughts of depression again blanketed my mind. I'm not going to find her. I thought in defeat. What would happen if I did? She doesn't love me back… what is the point? Why do I love her?
She's done nothing but hurt you, you know?
"Shutup." I muttered to the nothing that pestered me… and I got different answer in return.
"Blu?" A familiar sound chimed within my ear. Startling me.
Within seconds I was in the dark… in a cage again.
It seems that fate has seen it fit to have me see Tulio again.
That's it then… I thought. I guess I'm going back to Linda…
That thought should have at least given me relief… but it did no such thing.
Lights returned in the world to show me that I was in the artificial habitat that Jewel and I had been placed in before. Nothing had changed. The plants still shone in emerald and pristine health, and the small stream still gurgled and slithered through the little channel that it had no doubt travelled for as long as it might possibly remember.
The old sights bring back the memories of my clumsy and awkward self… and the memories of Jewel. The memories of the moment when I first saw her where I realize how wonderful she was… and our escapade through the forest and jungle of Rio where I tripped my way into love. I wonder if she had ever thought about me… and if that time together had meant as much to her as it did to me.
"Not likely." The bitterness in my voice surprised me, but it was gone as soon as it came.
I took in a breath and let it out, calming down. "Jewel doesn't want anything to do with me."
For the second time today an unexpected voice rang out from behind me. "Jewel? You know Jewel?"
From the direction of the exclamation came the wing beats of two blue Macaws.
Spix. Macaws.
Needless to say, I was surprised. There are more of us? I thought to myself.
Examining the two Macaws as they landed in front of me I could see that they were a male and female, the male was bigger than the female. I could also see that they were much older than me, probably a generation older. The years showed in the colors and shine of the birds' feathers and eyes, one glance told me that these 2 birds have been through a lot.
The bigger one spoke. "Where's Jewel? Do you know where she is?"
A touch of my nervousness and awkward demeanor seeped to the surface at such unexpected questions.
"N-No." I stammered in rely. "I don't know w-where she is. How do you know her?"
Their next few words shocked me much more than the discovery of the fact that there were indeed other Spix Macaws in this world.
"We're Jewel's parents."
It didn't take us long to get acquainted. Jewel's parents were called Jasmine and Henry, and they had recently been bought back from the human they were sold to nearly a decade ago.
I told them my story or at least the part about how I had met Jewel, I left out my love for her and the more violent parts of the story but I managed to catch the couple up to the life of their daughter.
I could see Jewel so well in her parents. Her mother was the same color as her, and she had the same tuff just over her head. Her father had her eyes, her pride and forcefulness.
Henry bombarded my head with question, with every other one being another form of saying if I know where she is, or if I could find her. Her mother did the same and echoed in turn. Seeing her parents and meeting them determination rose up in my chest again. I broke a stick off of a nearby branch and flying up to the vent that Jewel had long ago tried to escape through I wrenched a hole big enough for us three birds to go through.
"What are you doing?" Henry demanded as he flew up to the perch I was on, Jasmine close behind.
"I'm sorry sir, I don't know if I can find you daughter." I told him. "But I'm giving you the chance to try."
Even if I could not find Jewel again, I would keep trying, if only so that a mother and a father would be with their child again, and if Jewel could be happy. The problem of if she loved me back was no longer within my perspective.
As raw strength coursed with my emotions, I followed after the husband and wife through the escape I had created.
If I can make her happy then I will.