When Hitsugaya Toushirou woke up, his first thought was about pain. His wounds hurt like hell. The second one was sorrow. For Hinamori, for Aizen, for Matsumoto and Ichimaru, for all the broken friendship, the betrayed trust, the lost love. Yes, love… despite what people might say about him, Hitsugaya knew what love was, very well. He knew that Momo loved Aizen, and not as an example to follow, like Hisagi with Tousen, but like a woman loved a man. Like he loved his fukutaichou…
Speaking of the devil, where was she? He knew she wasn't hurt; Kotetsu-fukutaichou's peculiar method of communication worked perfectly even when he was unconscious. This meant he knew everything that had come to pass after he had been wounded by Aizen. Something shifting on his bed brought his mind back to the present.
The 10th division captain tried to lift his head from the pillow, to see who was the person happily napping with their head against his hip. A sharp pain to his neck, chest and shoulder stopped him and made him groan. The soft sound was enough to wake the sleeping person. Hitsugaya's eyes widened when he saw Matsumoto's golden hair and pale skin appear in his line of vision. He should have known it would be her. He gave her a moment to collect her wits. Who knew when was the last time she had really slept? The dark shadows under her eyes spoke loudly enough to him. Then he asked softly:
"Matsumoto, are you fine?"
Her surprised expression almost made him laugh. When her incredulous eyes fixed on him, though, he distinctly felt his heart breaking. They were full of tears.
"Taichou?"
Her voice was weak and insecure. He didn't like it. Her voice was always loud and energetic, like herself, and it would remain like that forever, if he had any say in the matter. He frowned, and the busty lieutenant felt her heart lift a bit at the familiar expression on his lovely face.
"What's with that worried face? I'm alive, aren't I?"
Matsumoto smiled beautifully and a sparkling tear fell on her cheek.
"Yes taichou, you are. Thanks to Unohana-taichou and Isane-chan."
"Then, why are you crying?" He asked softly, lifting his uninjured arm to wipe away her tears with his fingertips.
She sighed and leaned into the cool hand, touching the inside of his wrist with her lips, trying to sense his heartbeat under the smooth skin.
"I thought I lost you, taichou…" She admitted quietly against his skin.
They stayed like that for a long time, simply taking comfort in each other. Eventually Hitsugaya spoke.
"I'd like to seat. Is it possible?"
Matsumoto smiled and started collecting pillows from the floor.
"I knew you'd say that!" She said, lifting his head gently with one hand and adjusting the pillows behind his back with the other. The captain found himself in close proximity to her most noticeable assets. He felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "So I asked Isane-chan and she said you could." She went on proudly, oblivious to his predicament. "But only for a bit! You need to rest, taichou."
He completely gave up his pride at that; it was a lost battle anyways.
'At least she's bubbly again.' He thought with a small smile.
When she sat back, next to his bed, a thick silence fell on the room. Matsumoto didn't know how much he actually knew; Isane hadn't been so sure that her technique would work with him unconscious and so weakened. Hitsugaya, on the other hand, was looking for the best way to breach the subject he wanted to discuss with her. He decided to take it from afar and work his way there.
"Matsumoto." He called softly. She turned her head to look at his face. "How is Momo?"
Matsumoto sighed.
"She hasn't woken up yet. She still needs help breathing. Isane-chan isn't giving her any information on what happened. She fears Momo-chan might lose her will to fight. Aizen did a real number on her. The bastard. Her wounds were even worse than yours. And that's saying something…"
She shivered, remembering how she'd found her taichou, lying in a puddle formed by the melted ice from his bankai and his own blood. Hitsugaya took her hand in his, figuring out where her thoughts must be going.
"And you? How're you doing? Kotetsu told me what happened with Ichimaru on the Sougyouku Hill. I know you were close. Even if I don't like him, I'm sorry you lost your friend."
Matsumoto felt tears come to her eyes, once again, for the boy who had saved her and fed her, so long ago, who became a man she couldn't respect. No, she wasn't surprised. Saddened, yes. But she knew he'd betray her; the only question had been when would it happen?
Then there was the other boy. The one who had welcomed her in his taisha, happy to see again the woman who had helped him find his way – even if he'd never say so to her face. They'd been so similar then, both so eager to prove their worth to the world and to each other. Look at him now! Even if he didn't look like one – not yet – he was a man. Strong, loyal, honest. And he was her taichou. He was hers, at least in her heart. Maybe he'd never love her like she wished he would, but he would never betray her trust, like Gin did.
"You don't have to worry, taichou. I suffer for the boy I knew and lost, but not for the man who left. That was really no surprise…" She said, with a bitter smile on her lips.
"Do you ever wish he'd taken you with him?" He murmured, hesitantly, avoiding her gaze, dreading her answer.
"No!" Her eyes widened, her hold on his hand tightening. "Never! Otherwise I'd have gone with him. I had the chance, you know…" She added, voice low. Hitsugaya gasped. "I don't know if Isane-chan told you, but I was holding onto him, my blade to his throat, when the Menos came. As if I could keep him here by force, when I never could with love… Silly of me, I know. But I never thought of following him." Her voice was strong again. "He's not whom my loyalty lies with. He's not the one whose absence I fear."
Her bright grey eyes were staring straight into his, and Hitsugaya felt his heart beat furiously in his chest. Her words made his whole soul feel warm. He had to know something, though. Something that had been eating at him since he opened his eyes. He took his hand from hers and put it on his lap, with the other one. He took a slow breath.
"Matsumoto… Rangiku." Her breath caught, hearing him say her name for the first time. "I don't want you to be so loyal to me. I fear it."
She frowned.
"Why?"
"Why?!" His voice was incredulous. "Have you not seen Momo and Kira? I don't want you to follow me blindly, just because I'm your taichou and I order you to. Nor because you admire me, so deeply that you lose sight of what's right and what's wrong. Aizen told me something: 'Admiration is a feeling furthest away from understanding'. He was right. If you decide to follow me, I want it to be because it's the right thing to do. I want you to understand me. And I want you to be able to stop me, if I'm being foolish. If I ever lost myself…"
Matsumoto stopped his tirade with a hand on his mouth. Hitsugaya's eyes widened.
"Listen to me." She ordered, sitting on his bed, very close to him. Her hands were on either side of his hips, bearing her weight. "I will always follow you. Do you hear me? Always. Not because you're my taichou and you order me to. Nor because I'm blind. It's because you're my taichou and I believe in you, for you would never betray Soul Society or me. And if you did, it'd mean they'd betrayed you first and that would also mean that they betrayed me, too. I respect and admire you, because you're my taichou, my friend and my reason to fight. And I love you, Toushirou… With my whole heart. That is why I'd follow you until the end of the world and beyond. Got it?"
She was trembling and his teal eyes were wide, stunned. He was sure he had lost his voice, so he did the only thing that could come near to express what he was feeling. He sunk his fingers in her golden hair, at the back of her head, and yanked her face to his, kissing her with everything he had.
She moaned at the sensation, dreamed for so long, and leaned further into the kiss. She could feel his love, passion, desperation, fear, hope, doubt and desire. For her. Everything she was to him, she could feel in that kiss. When the kiss broke, to Matsumoto's disappointment, Hitsugaya kept a firm hold on her head. Their eyes locked, noses touching, mouths mere millimetres from each other, Hitsugaya finally spoke:
"Rangiku, I promise I will never leave you behind. If I were to ever leave Soul Society of my own free will, I'd take you with me, even if it's the last thing I do. Because you're my fukutaichou, and a fukutaichou always has her taichou's back. And you're my friend, the one who showed the path to me, all those years ago. But you're also my confidante, the only person who understands me and my reason to fight. Because I'm your taichou, and a taichou's first thought in battle is always for his fukutaichou. What I'm trying to say, Rangiku, is that I love you. Very much. So much that I fear my heart will explode if you leave my side for even a second…"
It was her turn to grip his hair and kiss him. A big weight had been lifted from her heart. She had been afraid that she'd lost him forever.
"Taichou?"
He frowned, their hair still clutched in each other's hands.
"You can call me Toushiro when we're alone, you know?"
She smiled.
"I'd really like to hug you now Toushirou. But I think I'd hurt you. Your wounds haven't healed yet."
He thought for a moment.
"Well, I don't see why you can't. You just have to be considerate. No crushing hugs as usual! And keep those beasts far from my face! I'd like to breathe, if you don't mind."
Matsumoto laughed merrily.
"Admit it, you like them!"
He blushed.
"Of course I do." He muttered. "Who wouldn't? They're beautiful. But I like breathing best, at the moment."
She smiled and gently hugged him. With her mouth against his ear, she whispered:
"Don't worry, you'll be healed and out of here in no time. I'll take care of you. I'll even do the paperwork!"
She heard him laugh lightly, his hands clinging to her beloved pink scarf. It had been the first thing he had ever given her as a gift and it had replaced the foulard around her throat.
"Thank you, Toushirou, for being a bit mine, too."
He sighed and buried his nose in her golden mane.
"I can assure you that I'm yours, quite a bit more than 'a bit', Rangiku. Always were and always will be."
"You promise?"
"I promise. Forever."
"Forever…" She tried the foreign word out loud. "I like the sound of it."
When Unohana-taichou went to check on her patient, one hour later, she found him peacefully sleeping next to his lieutenant, who had fallen asleep herself. The hospital cot was, amazingly, big enough for both of them. What made her smile, though – and, by the sound of it, it made her own fukutaichou laugh out loud – was that the small, serious taichou was resting with his head on Matsumoto's more than generous chest!