Hey, all. I got into this ship really recently, but it stuck with me sufficiently to want to write about it. Starts deviating from canon starting with the second part of Mockingjay.
I don't know when she first catches my attention. As a rule, I never watch the Games beyond the point where the District 7 tributes get killed, which usually isn't that far in. But I remember keeping an eye out for Katniss Everdeen. And when she wins—even if it's thanks to the sappy romance Haymitch concocted for the Capitol audience—I'm silently glad. I remind myself to keep an eye out for her next year.
Next year, of course, I'm in there with her. When Snow reads out the paper, I'm livid. My first thought is of Finnick. Apart from Blight—whom I only care about by circumstance—he is the only one I've really gotten along with over the years. I find myself torn between the desire to save him, and the desire to have him with me in the arena. The pool of victors in District 4 is comparatively large, but the odds still aren't in his favor. As for me... Well, I know I'll die in there. It's almost impossible to survive the arena once. Twice? I know I won't make it.
That's when I first think about her. The Girl on Fire. I know she'll be the only female victor of her District, too. We're the only ones, I realize; in every other district there are at least two female victors. Some of them old and crippled, granted, but at least they have a shot. Katniss and I... For a second, I stop feeling sorry for myself and think about the Girl on Fire. At least I got a few year's reprieve before they sent me back in. I can't imagine what it's like to go back in only months after you got out. Then my heart hardens and I return to myself. Even if I don't make it out of the arena, I won't go down without a fight. And if I have to kill Katniss Everdeen in the process, I'll do it in a heartbeat.
Only I don't get to, of course. I get in on the plan only after the reaping, when several tributes have been informed already. It's Finnick who tells me. There is an undercover plan to save the Everdeen girl. Of course, I've heard about the outbreaks in other districts, but I don't know the extent of it, and either way I've gotten too cynical to think anything will come of it. But at Finnick's news, I feel a spark kindling in my heart. If there's a plan to break this girl out of the arena right under Snow's nose, that must mean the rebellion has penetrated right into the heart of the Capitol. And that means there might a chance, finally, to make a stand against them. Finnick tells me one of the Gamemakers—maybe even the Head Gamemaker—is in on the plan. We just have to make sure to keep the Everdeen girl alive until the rescue mission arrives. When we're at the training center, Haymitch circulates the news that, because the girl is determined to get her bloody fiancé out, we'll have to save the fiancé too. If we don't, any chance of keeping her in an alliance—which we need if we want to protect her—is off.
"She'll be tough to convince," Haymitch says. "But I'll try my best."
She's suspicious, then. Good, I think. Trust is a traitorous friend. Victors, of all people, should know that.
We meet for the first time in the elevator, when—I couldn't help myself—I strip down, allowing her idiot fiancé to zip me open. I would've asked Katniss, just to see the look on her face, but I doubt that would've gotten me naked. And I wanted to see her reaction to that more than anything. She's priceless. So pure. I am surprised. Anyone who survives the arena could surely not be so innocent.
I keep an eye on her during out days of training. She doesn't come to me personally, but I talk to her fiancé. To my surprise, I find I like him. He's approachable, talkative, even. He doesn't seem to mind my sarcasm. But even during the lunch that we all share in the training room, I don't talk to the girl herself, and I'm surprised to find that I want to. But I don't, because I'm Johanna Mason, and I don't talk to anyone who doesn't think it worth their time to talk to me.
When I see her shoot at the archery station, I'm as impressed as anyone. The girl can shoot, all right. And her focus, poise, and exactness as she targets the holograms have an elegance to them that I hadn't expected. I never thought archery could be elegant. I don't need to tell Haymitch I'm interested in making allies, so I don't, but it doesn't seem to matter anyway. I find out through Finnick that Katniss only seems interested in Mags as an ally, of all people, and Nuts and Volts.
"We'll just have to force ourselves on her," Finnick says.
"That sounds like a nice job for you, sugar boy," I say, smirking. "I'm not good at making friends."
Finnick cocks his head. "You know, that's exactly what she says about herself."
I look up to see if he's playing with me, then narrow my eyes. "Whatever. You take care of her."
He shrugs. "Fine by me. Seems like I'm the best person to do it, anyway."
"What the hell does that mean?" I ask, annoyed. As if I couldn't protect Katniss.
He looks at me curiously. "Because she wanted Mags as an ally."
Realization dawns. "Ah."
"And if she wants Mags, she'll have to take me too," he says, finishing the thought.
"Well, then it seems like it's up to you, sugar boy."
He shrugs. "Then you'll have to take District 3. If you save them for her, Haymitch says she might just accept you as an ally. But he didn't get the impression that she liked you much."
For a second, I am almost hurt. Then I remind myself that I don't care. I'm just in this for the rebellion, not for her.
"Oh, and one more thing," Finnick says. "It's of the utmost importance that her tracker gets cut out the day of the rescue. She and Peeta don't know anything, so she won't to do it herself. I don't know where she'll be that day, or with who, but if she's with you, you'll have to do it. Same goes for Peeta. And you'll have to cut out your own, too. But Katniss goes first. Understand?"
I only nod. There are worse jobs in the world.
Because of our little moment in the elevator, I know that Peeta's baby bomb must be a lie. Even so, I admit I'm a little shocked at first, not at the lie so much, but at the boy's guts. I applaud him for it, though, because his 'confession' was the only real thing which might have put a stop to the Quarter Quell. But it's all to no avail. And as I move back up to the seventh floor of the training center, I know I'm going in again.
It's different, though, because I'm going in for a different reason. This time, it doesn't feel like I'm just going in to slaughter and be slaughtered. I'm going in to prove a point. To stoke a fire into this rebellion, which apparently only the Girl on Fire can continue. So I go to bed—with no illusions of sleeping—thinking about the Mockingjay. I'll save her, all right.
I don't have the same information that Finnick has, but I trust that I know everything I need to know. He seems to have regular meetings with Haymitch, so he should know what we need to do to get her out of there. Even with the prospect of a rescue mission, though, I still don't have any illusions of getting out of there myself. I never was a symbol for anything. I'm a good fighter, but apart from that, I'm dispensable. I've never been well-liked, either in the Capitol or in the districts. I'm just an instrument. But there are worse reasons to die.
The day arrives, and I just catch a glimpse of Finnick taking Peeta and Katniss into the jungle, when I take Nuts and Volts into another part of it. I hope we may run into one another at some point. For now, though, I have to worry about Volts getting a knife in the back, Nuts going more nuts, and dehydration. I think our problems are solved when it starts raining, but of course it wasn't rain; the Capitol isn't that helpful. But the rain drives us out of the jungle, and back on the beach we find them: Finnick, Peeta, and the object of this mission. She seems confused that I saved Nuts and Volts for her; we didn't seem exactly chummy in training, I suppose. She seems to accept it, but I can see a trickle of doubt in her eyes. She knows something's up, all right. I wonder how long it will take for her to figure it out.
When we get to the cornucopia, and the island starts spinning, I feel an unfamiliar kind of desperation as I feel her hand slipping from mine. It's all I can do not to start screaming my head off. You bitch, you stupid, you let go of my hand. But it's okay, because she's back up, and I run to see if she's okay. Lover Boy catches up with me soon and takes over, and I feel a pang. I can't forget the feeling of her hand slipping from mine. It's the stupidest thing to get nightmares about, but the sting of despair stays with me longer than I'm willing to admit. But I get myself together. When you're in the arena, you get over things more quickly than usual.
I see her run into the jungle after her sister's voice, and the sight of her pressing her hands against her ears and curling into a quivering ball makes the bile rise in my throat. When the hour is over, and I hear Peeta prattle to her about Prim, I feel the anger explode inside me, and even though it's the Capitol that's my prime target, I know some of my rant is directed at her. When I finish my little tirade, I look at her because I want to see the look on her face. There's no one left that I love. I'm surprised to see that it does touch her, even in some small, incremental way. I hurry into the jungle.
The bread arrives with the parachutes, and I know it must mean something by the way Finnick is handling it, but I don't know what. But I trust he knows what it means. Volts seems to be in on it, too, because he and Finnick exchange a glance, and that same morning he proposes his master plan to us. So the rescue mission is on the way. We head up to the lightning tree, and when Volts sends Katniss and I to the beach, and she and Peeta protest, I know we'll have to push through. If Peeta dies, the alliance will be off, but if she and Peeta go off alone, they're liable to run off. And he doesn't know to cut out her tracker. I'll just have to deliver her in one piece, and hope Finnick can do the same for Peeta. When Katniss and Peeta hug goodbye, Finnick and I exchange a glance. He nods at me. I nod back.
I know we're in trouble when the wire gets cut. I see the Careers before Katniss does. In a flash, I knock her out with the spool, and try to ignore her cry when I dig my knife into her arm and take out the obnoxious piece of plastic. I kneel over her, put my hand over her mouth and look hard into her wide, scared eyes. "Stay down," I hiss, and then I'm off to draw away the Careers. I feel good now, because I did what I had to do. I cut out her tracker. And I'm leading off her potential killers. I send a quick prayer out to Finnick as I barrel through the forest. The night is getting dark, and I know twelve must be getting near. I feel my heart beating in my throat, because whatever's going to happen, it must happen anytime now. I stop short as the lightning hits, whipping my head around as a sudden fear clenches around my heart. Is she safe?
Then I feel myself blown back as the forcefield blows out, and when I wake up again I'm in the Capitol. When they come for me with their question, I laugh because I know I've succeeded. Where is Katniss Everdeen? they ask me, over and over again, and I laugh in their faces. It doesn't last long, of course. They don't need me on television like Lover Boy, so they can do with me whatever they want. After a few days, I lose all sense of time. I don't tell them anything. Katniss is safe, and the rebellion lives. And that's all that matters.