Dearest Aro – Jane is evil.
She is a witch, a bitch
she makes my boyfriend twitch
and if you want us to join the Volturi,
you'll burn her corpse in a ditch.
She ruined my brother's wedding
and ripped my sister's wedding dress;
she almost gave the pope
a heart attack.
She ruined my brother's honeymoon,
and disrupted their kinoodling
with her stupid powers.
Your lucky that darling Esme
didn't chuck a minivan at her head.
Jane is a witch, a bitch
she makes my boyfriend twitch
and if you want us to join the Volturi,
you'll burn her corpse in a ditch.
Love, Alice
((A/N: just a fun little ditty… I have NO inspiration right now… probably because I wrote that friggin' Esme story and it turned out to be all wrong :( and now I feel bad.))