Chapter 1

Being Forced To Make Good Decisions.

"Sir," I began desperately, "Pardon me, but this is ridiculous! If I wish to remain in the same classes, than you should allow me! If this is about my attendance I promise I'll show up more," I lied straight though my teeth in a desperate panick. The chairman sat across from me and pursed his lips firmly together, giving off just how generous he was feeling. Leaning back in his red satin swivel chair, he gave me a reprimanding look that most definitely promised a lecture to follow. I deflated.

"Nanami-chan," He started. "This is the 7th time I've called you down to my office. This is only the third time you've showed up. Your attendance is ridiculous and not showing up months at a time is absolutely insane. Yes, I've looked at your middle school attendance. You're putting your future at risk by doing this and I don't think you understand just how crucial your time here is." I sat down in the chair behind me quietly, a small blush making its way on my face as the embarrassment of being scolded coursed through me. I cringed. Of course I knew my attendance for my first year was trash. I hadn't shown up for 20 out of the 40 days of school that had been happening and when I had, it was usually only for test days. Teachers had taken to asking for my schedule in advance in almost an amused sort of way save for Kurosawa-sensei. It seemed the chairman and Kurosawa-sensei would soon be joining together to host a league formed against me. Maybe they'll have a piñata with my face on it as well. I sunk down into my chair, feeling a little safer as I hid myself. I started blinking rapidly to stop myself from tearing up. I was most certainly not going to ruin my eyeliner for this.

"I-I know sir. Many of those absences, however, are excused. I do get sick a lot. I don't understand how it is to affect my future when my grades are certainly okay. I'm not failing any of my classes and my test scores are certainly not terrible," I tried again once more, trying to appeal to him. He watched my teary eyed form and sighed. His eyes softened and he leaned forward on his desk to hold out a tray of candy to me.

"Nanami-san, I'm doing this for you. I've looked into your files and whilst your grades are mundane, your test scores and exams are absolutely outstanding. If you'd only apply yourself I'm sure you'd be one of the brightest minds within the school. I refuse to see so much potential go to waste. I've been entrusted with not only your safety but your education as well and I won't let you waste one minute any longer. I've spoken to your father already," He told me softly and I bit my lip. He spoke to my father about this? I hadn't spoken to that man in weeks. "He has agreed to this and I know that soon so will you. You'll be fine. It'll just be a test run."

I nodded slowly, gripping the arm chair so as to contain my tears. The tense air that had been choking me was slowly starting to lift and it was to my hope that my ugly crying wouldn't follow afterwards.

"When am I to receive my new schedule?" I asked quietly, trying to reign in my tight chest. The chairman watched me, almost studying my movements and I lowered my gaze to avoid his. It would do no good to burst into tears over nothing. It wasn't as if he were raising his voice at me or something of the sort.

"Tomorrow morning," he stated. I nodded. Okay, I have a day to readjust myself. I felt the pressure in my chest release the tiniest bit. Okay, thats good. Calmy, I began gathering my thoughts together. C'mon Makoto, you aren't a baby anymore. Crying over anything isn't cute and this mascara was $37. Testing its waterproofness in your principal's office is the last thing you want to do. I raised my head, forcing any emotion at all off my face and dressing it into a serious look so he knew I was paying attention.

"I expect you to show up at least 3-4 days a week," he told me and I nodded. I could totally do that.

Right?

/linebreak/

I can't do this. I rolled over to look at the clock next to me and sobbed miserably into my pillow.

6:40

I couldn't do this. I didnt even have any friends at this school. What made them think that I'd be okay with moving up the ranks? I shoved myself deeper into my bed and cried a little more. Another glance at the clock.

6:45

The chairmen probably wouldn't even realize if I didn't show up today. It would be fine. I closed my eyes, snuggling deeper into my bed. It's not like one day would make a difference. I can get my schedule tomorrow and start school from there.

6:46.

I felt my gut twist in worry though over the thought of missing something important or even just the thought of someone yelling at me. I couldn't take another visit to the chairmans corridor but I certainly didn't want to meet a bunch of new fresh faces almost two months into the school year.

6:47.

I stopped myself. It can't be that bad. I mean obviously cliques wouldn't be made already. 2 months into the school year didn't mean much, right? It's not as if I have the devil in my class or something so everything should be A-okay! Except I know that today wont be amazing.

I pinched myself.

It will be a good day.

It took a small amount of time for me to actually drag myself out of bed but in the end it ended up alright. A quick shower was all I really needed. Taking into consideration that today would be my first day in my new class, I decided to take special care in my makeup. Although I was certainly going to do the usual look, I would put more effort into making everything as perfect as possible. My marc jacobs foundation was blended in and I dabbed a bit more on any red acne scars I missed. After that, I applied a light concealer underneath my eyes, snorting at the squishy sound the beauty blender made as it did its job. Makeup was always fun. Setting powder under the eyes, a pink blush, and my face was set. For my eyes I had winged them and applied fake wispy eyelashes. My lips, covered in foundation, were ombred into a dusty rose color and I smiled happily into the mirror.

I was the perfect japanese beauty. A bit of highlighter dusted across my cheeks and nose gave me a very moistured look and whilst I didn't come off as very natural, I did look very good. My eyes, which were a little bit too big for my face, seemed smaller with the way my eyeliner lined them. The imperfections called acne scars my skin had become accustomed to were covered and I was able to achieve the blushy glowy look most other girls sported. Like my eyes, my lips too were a bit big and the foundation did wonderful in hiding that. Along with that, the ombre was somewhat of a distraction. I smiled even wider. Not to toot my own horn but BEEP BEEP! Closing my makeup bag, I took to the kitchen. As I sat down at my small kitchen table, I began eating slowly surveying the room. It was a small, tiny, apartment but considering only one person was supposed to live here, it was definitely okay. It was definitely on the small side with a very cramped kitchen and living room. My room was a bit better but a king sized bed took up a lot and stuffed animals littered the room as well as my random purchases from when I accidentally splurged on cute things like stickers or makeup or clothes. I loved it though. Swallowing the last spoonful to my yogurt, I tossed the spoon in the sink and the empty carton into the trash before surveying the clock. It was an hour before school would start and while the walk is usually 20 minutes with the fast pace I usually had, I always left early just in case. Checking thrice that I locked my door, I removed my hands from the knob and began my way to Ouran.

The morning was cold and I tugged my jacket closer to my body. This was terrible. I walked a bit quicker in hopes of getting out of the biting cold, only to hold back a curse at how the wind picked up once I did so. My hands automatically flew down to my skirt.

"Of course!" I cringed as it picked up even more. My pace quicked by four and I was basically sprinting down the sidewalk. The thought of asking my neighbor Hanaka to give me a ride to school crossed my mind and I pursed my lips and pushed it out of my head glumly. Too late now. I should've just skipped. As I speedwalked at lightning speed, the sight of the school got closer and closer and I was inside in a matter of time. My locker, which I had found was close to the girls bathroom, was spacious and I studied the new books I had gotten with distaste. My new schedule sat in there nicely as well and I eyed it distastefully. I was tired, I didn't have an iced OR frozen coffee to give me energy and now I had to find these new classes.

Could this day get any more tedious?

I froze and glanced around. There wasn't any wood to knock on and I pursed my lips. I would jinx myself. Another sky escaped my lips and I began to wander around for my new classes.

—a-

Sitting next to the popular kids always sucked. Sitting next to the quiet kids always sucked. Sitting right in the front row always sucked. I would have taken all of these over my current predicament however.

"She's quite pretty but thats because of all the makeup she's packed on," One of the ginger haired twins whispered to the other one quite loudly. They both glanced at me again and I clenched my pencil in my hand irritably.

"Do you two ever not talk? I can hear you!" I snapped irritably, pursing my lips.

"Nanami-san," the teacher in the front began and I froze. His eyes were narrowed and he had an annoyed expression on. The english book in his hand that he had been reading a passage on was still open and I could almost envision him tossing it at my forehead."Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

"N-No, sensei," I shook my head frantically, feeling a blush begin to show on my cheeks. I lowered my eyes down to the english books we were reading from.

"Then I will continue." Once more, his voice filled the room and I placed my head in my hands whilst looking out the window tearfully. I hated getting in trouble. The only bad thing I ever do do is skip school sometimes. And those nasty twins comments were so unhelpful. It's not as if I didn't know I wasn't Japan's beauty standard. I pursed my lips. My hispanic features were dominant throughout my face and I could only do so much to hide that. I felt a tear slip down my face and bit my lip angrily.

Sometimes being a girl was terrible. Especially due to the fact that every negative emotion I had seemed directly linked to my tear ducts. Sad? Cry your eyes out and eat fancy yogurt. Angry? Cry your eyes out. Happy? Cry your eyes out whilst dabbing so your makeup isnt ruined.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that my life sucks.