I own nothing. Blaine's POV.

I stumble into my room, blinking the tears from my eyes, and wiping away the ones that fall. All I can feel is the pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. The pain that tints the happiest memories that swirl around within my mind. The pain that follows me around non-stop, and weighs on my heart like a ton of bricks.

But it's pain that I've caused myself. The pain that I caused by cheating on the love of my life, no, existence. My whole world revolves around this beautiful blue-eyed boy who has always been braver and more courageous than I'll hope ever be. A boy who trusted me with his heart, and came to regret it in the end as everything he'd known for the past two years came tumbling down on top of him.

I remember the look on his face, and the sorrow, the misery, in his eyes as I tried to talk to him, to explain myself to him, earlier that night after the curtain had gone down on the last scene of Grease. And those final words that stopped my heart as he uttered them in a broken, yet still beautiful despite the circumstances, voice.

''Relationships are about trust, and I don't trust you anymore.''

A strangled sob escapes my lips as I cry out at the pain suffocating me. My hands reach up to my chest, and I rest them over the place where my broken heart is beating. How can a heart feel so much pain, yet still beat? If you break your own heart, does the pain ever leave you?

Well, if the pain isn't going to leave, then I have to control it somehow.

I rush up from my bed, and hurry into my bathroom. There, resting innocently on my bathroom counter, is my razor. I'd read and heard about it at least a dozen times. How people hurt themselves so they have some control over the pain. Angrily, I pick up the razor to wrestle the blades out of the place where their being held captive encased in the blue plastic. After my fingers are bloody and raw with the cuts I've given them in my effort to free the sharp blades, I finally have three good blades I can use to control the pain with.

I place the razor blades on the edge of the sink, and strip myself of the plain white clothes of my teen angle costume I'm wearing. I turn the shower on up to the highest temperature it can go, and grab the razors before diving under the steaming spray of the shower head.

I ignore my hissing skin as the water makes contact with my shoulder blades, and instead rake the sharp edge of the razor over the smooth skin of my stomach. The red sprouting from the cut is a perfect embodiment of the pain I feel.

'Red.', I think bitterly to myself, as I watch the blood trickle slowly down the smooth expanse of my stomach.

Red is a color that means so many different things when placed in certain contexts. It can mean passion when in the throes of powerful love, and courage in the face of a difficult battle. But, here, in my shower with the color red dripping down my stomach to land on the floor where it runs pink when the water mingles with the vibrant color, it means pain. Unbearable pain. Blinding pain. PAIN!

I don't stop after one, two, four, or even eight cuts. I keep going until there's not a place of smooth skin left on my stomach. Until pain is consuming me both inside and out. I cut until I'm gasping for breath, struggling to stand, and the once smooth skin of my stomach is covered in thick, red blood, flowing freely from the twenty or so cuts I've mad.

It doesn't take long for the effects of the blood loss to take effect, and I feel myself start to sway. My eyelids flutter closed as I tumble to the floor of my shower in a heap of blood, pain, and self-loathing. I'm not trying to kill myself, I'm not, but I'm not exactly trying to stay alive either.

The last conscious thought that flits through my red clouded mind before I'm dragged into the blissfully cool waters of unconsciousness is Kurt. Just his name, nothing more, and then the black waves claim me as their own, ensnaring me as I pray for t all to end.

Whew, OK so, wow. First off, thanks for reading this short story. This was my first crack at an angst story so I would love to know what you guys thought about it. Constructive criticism is always and very welcome. I might write a sequel if I get any request. Review please.