Harry Pothead: The Sorceror's Stoned!!!!!
A/N Since my last fic, "Unlikely Harry Potter Titles", got such good reviews, I decided to write a
series. *grins a grinchy grin* I know I'm evil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Herbology Class
It was a very hot day in June. The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff first years trudged across
the grounds to the greenhouses for Herbology. When they were all assembled in Greenhouse
1, Professor Sprout stuck her head in the door.
"Sorry, chaps, I forgot to tell you, we're having class in Greenhouse 5 today!" she
announced. Any other time, the students would be shocked by this news, but today it was, as
Ron phrased it, "too damn hot to get riled up". So the students followed their teacher into the
forbidden Greenhouse 5.
Professor Sprout carefully shut the door behind her. "Here," she whispered, "Are the
most dangerous plants known to man, Muggle or wizard. They are filled with VERY powerful magic,
and have very, erm, strange effects. I advise you to stay away from them unless you are in this
class, or you'll find yourself at St. Mungo's, never mind the hospital wing."
Everyone gasped at this last statement. *What kind of horrible specimens were kept in
this greenhouse, anyway? Why was Professor Sprout taking the first years into the most terrifying
greenhouse? And......... whoa, the fumes in here are making me woooooozy...* Harry Pothead
thought. He giggled stupidly. Everyone stared at him.
"Erm, right. I also reccomend that you don't inhale very deeply. It doesn't take much
for these babies to do their work." Professor Sprout warned. She then plucked a large, compound
leaf of a nearby plant. It had five leaves. She held it up, and asked, "Does anyone know what this
is called?"
Everyone turned to Hermione, expecting her hand to instantly shoot up, but Hermione
had a dreamy look on her face. Instead, Lavender Brown's arm was waving violently in the air.
"Marajuana, also known as 'pot', is a powerful, illegal drug that can be smoked or
inhaled. It's effects include dizzyness, hallucinations, violence, agreesion, and loss of coordiation
and concentration. Using, holding, buying, or selling marajuana results in jail time and suspension
from school." Lavender answered, sounding like she'd swallowed the D.A.R.E. workbook.
"Very good, Miss Brown! Ten points for Gyffindor? Where'd you learn all of that
information?" Professor Sprout asked. Lavender grinned.
"The best way to learn is from experience," Lavender quoted. Everyone gaped wide-eyed
at the innocent looking eleven-year-old.
"Okay then! Class dismissed!" Sprout called, opening the greenhouse door and letting
the dazed (although whether it was the fumes or the general confusion that did it, I'm unsure)
first years outside. Harry snapped out of his dream about flying a magic dragon... a magic
dragon named Norbert... Professor Sprout grabbed Lavender by the robes as she was walking
out the door, so they could have a little "chat". Harry checked to see that the coast was clear,
then grabbed the leaf off of the floor.
He wanted to learn more about this magical plant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.........
Reviews will be appreciated!
If you flame this, you are an idiot. This is a HUMOR fic. It is supposed to be messed up. Therefore,
any flamers shall be laughed at by the almighty author known as moi. You have been warned.
After you read the next chapters, be sure to read the upcoming sequels:
Harry Pothead and the Chamber of Secrets.....
Harry Pothead and the Scent Dogs from Azkaban
Harry Pothead and the Goblet of............... Ahem.
A/N Since my last fic, "Unlikely Harry Potter Titles", got such good reviews, I decided to write a
series. *grins a grinchy grin* I know I'm evil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Herbology Class
It was a very hot day in June. The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff first years trudged across
the grounds to the greenhouses for Herbology. When they were all assembled in Greenhouse
1, Professor Sprout stuck her head in the door.
"Sorry, chaps, I forgot to tell you, we're having class in Greenhouse 5 today!" she
announced. Any other time, the students would be shocked by this news, but today it was, as
Ron phrased it, "too damn hot to get riled up". So the students followed their teacher into the
forbidden Greenhouse 5.
Professor Sprout carefully shut the door behind her. "Here," she whispered, "Are the
most dangerous plants known to man, Muggle or wizard. They are filled with VERY powerful magic,
and have very, erm, strange effects. I advise you to stay away from them unless you are in this
class, or you'll find yourself at St. Mungo's, never mind the hospital wing."
Everyone gasped at this last statement. *What kind of horrible specimens were kept in
this greenhouse, anyway? Why was Professor Sprout taking the first years into the most terrifying
greenhouse? And......... whoa, the fumes in here are making me woooooozy...* Harry Pothead
thought. He giggled stupidly. Everyone stared at him.
"Erm, right. I also reccomend that you don't inhale very deeply. It doesn't take much
for these babies to do their work." Professor Sprout warned. She then plucked a large, compound
leaf of a nearby plant. It had five leaves. She held it up, and asked, "Does anyone know what this
is called?"
Everyone turned to Hermione, expecting her hand to instantly shoot up, but Hermione
had a dreamy look on her face. Instead, Lavender Brown's arm was waving violently in the air.
"Marajuana, also known as 'pot', is a powerful, illegal drug that can be smoked or
inhaled. It's effects include dizzyness, hallucinations, violence, agreesion, and loss of coordiation
and concentration. Using, holding, buying, or selling marajuana results in jail time and suspension
from school." Lavender answered, sounding like she'd swallowed the D.A.R.E. workbook.
"Very good, Miss Brown! Ten points for Gyffindor? Where'd you learn all of that
information?" Professor Sprout asked. Lavender grinned.
"The best way to learn is from experience," Lavender quoted. Everyone gaped wide-eyed
at the innocent looking eleven-year-old.
"Okay then! Class dismissed!" Sprout called, opening the greenhouse door and letting
the dazed (although whether it was the fumes or the general confusion that did it, I'm unsure)
first years outside. Harry snapped out of his dream about flying a magic dragon... a magic
dragon named Norbert... Professor Sprout grabbed Lavender by the robes as she was walking
out the door, so they could have a little "chat". Harry checked to see that the coast was clear,
then grabbed the leaf off of the floor.
He wanted to learn more about this magical plant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.........
Reviews will be appreciated!
If you flame this, you are an idiot. This is a HUMOR fic. It is supposed to be messed up. Therefore,
any flamers shall be laughed at by the almighty author known as moi. You have been warned.
After you read the next chapters, be sure to read the upcoming sequels:
Harry Pothead and the Chamber of Secrets.....
Harry Pothead and the Scent Dogs from Azkaban
Harry Pothead and the Goblet of............... Ahem.