A/N:My beta for this drabble was Merisha. She is helping me improve my writing skills. Enjoy and let me know what you think. This is my take on what same could have felt and his thoughts during these events in his life. The challenge word is Blood or Bleeding so here it is my one-shot Bloodied Memories. R&R please.
Bloodied Memories
Even though it's been a while since Dean has died and came back, I still see that day so clearly, all the blood. That's one of the few things that still stick out in my mind about that day. The blood that was oozing from his shredded torso and pooling around him. I remember being covered in his blood it from when I had collapsed by his side crying. I didn't even bother to try and clean the my clothes, I just threw them out. They were just too soaked through with his blood. Bobby had made me take a shower; the water coming off me had been tinted red.
I remember the first time I fed off of Ruby. The way she slit her wrist, leaving blood on the blade as it gleamed in the dim lighting. How the dark red liquid ran down her arm, some of it dripping off. It's funny how I can remember all that so vividly but not so much the lies and promises she used, to get me to feed. The only one way that I can think of to describe what it tasted like, it was warm, coppery and metallic. The worst part of it was how I felt afterwards. I felt stronger, sure, but I also felt wrong and disgusted with myself. I only ever once looked at myself in the mirror right after doing it. I couldn't stand to see my lips that brighter shade of red that the blood had stained them.
The image of the small drop of blood I had wiped off my face still lingers in my mind. That and looking up to see where it had come from, only to find Jessica pinned to the ceiling, blood soaking her abdomen. Then the flames that had consumed her as Dean pulled me out of there. Though it had only been a small drop of her blood that had actually landed on me, it still feels as if her blood was all over my hands.
I remember seeing myself in the mirror after killing Gordon. His blood splattered all over my face and body. Seeing the red tinted water go down the drain as I rinsed all traces of it off me. How, when I had closed my eyes, I saw the blood spray from his neck as his body and head fell to the ground covering anything close by in gore.
It's ironic how all the times I've seen blood there are only a few that really stand out in my memory. Most just seem to blend together. Where as Those that stand out do so because of the context in which they happened and the emotion tied to that memory. With Dean's death it was the over-whelming sorrow, pain and anger. When I fed off Ruby, I felt so disgusted, dirty and like I was betraying everyone. Jessica was sorrow, pain and self directed blame. Killing Gordon was a little bit of everything, I don't think there is really any strong emotions linked with that one. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that someone is almost always left bleeding.