It was raining that day when Richard Castle received the phone call that would change his life. The phone call that brought him to his knees, then to the floor, gasping for breath as he cried in to his hands. His breathing was uneven and he was shaking as he lay there for what seemed like hours, but was in fact only minutes.
The opened cell phone was lying beside him and it was vibrating as a call came through from Kevin Ryan. Castle looked at the cell phone, tears rolling down his pained tear stained face and he took a deep breath as he sniffed. This couldn't be happening, it couldn't be true, Castle must have heard Ryan wrong. Castle tried denying it but he knew that no matter what he said or thought, that there was no changing what had happened and he reached for the phone with a shaking hand.
He held the phone tightly as he pushed himself up to his knees and he slowly answered the call, then held it to his ear. He took a breath as he heard Ryan's voice on the other line and he cleared his throat as he sniffed.
"Castle?" Ryan asked.
"I-I'm here..." Castle replied, on the verge of tears again.
"We need you here Rick, plea-" Ryan began but was cut off.
"It's my fault... I can't, I just can't," Castle sobbed.
"Rick, listen to me, we need you. Esposito needs you, Lanie needs you, I need you, but most of all, Kate needs you... Please Rick," Ryan said, his voice breaking.
"I-I'll be there soon," Castle sniffed as he ran a hand over his face.
He ended the call as he put his cell phone in to his pants pocket and he got to his feet slowly as the words echoed inside his head. Castle stumbled over to the keys on the coffee table and he looked at himself in the mirror in front of him. His white shirt was torn down the side and covered in dried blood which wasn't his own, the knees of his pants were covered in blood and Castle remembered everything.
The team had arrived at a dock full of abandoned warehouses and they had gone their separate ways to search for the suspect. They had traced the suspect's cell phone to that location and now they were there, guns drawn, waiting for Beckett's orders.
"Ryan, Esposito, search the far side of the docks. Castle, you're with me," Beckett ordered.
When Castle and Beckett entered the warehouse a few yards away from them, it was eerily quiet until they stepped further in to the dimly lit room. Beckett noticed a few dozen crates stacked up and spread out in the empty building and she motioned to Castle to go left as she went right.
Castle nodded as he raised his gun to almost his chin level as he went around the left side of the crates. Instantly, shots rang out and Castle dived for cover as did Beckett. Castle looked around from behind a crate and the side of the crate behind him splintered as a bullet skimmed it.
"Castle, 6 o'clock!" Beckett yelled.
Castle heard Beckett's voice and as he turned to his left he heard two shots ring out from behind him. Castle heard a groan and a thud, then he turned around to see the suspect on the ground with Beckett standing above him. Castle joined his partner as Beckett kicked the gun away from the suspect's hand and the suspect groaned in pain from the two bullet wounds, one in his left shoulder and one in his lower abdomen.
"Call Ryan and E-" Beckett began but was cut off from a gun shot echoing through the building.
Castle looked at Beckett as she went silent and her face dropped as she looked down towards her stomach. It seemed to happen in slow motion as blood began to soak through Beckett's blouse and she fell forwards in to Castle, who quickly caught her then lay her down on the ground quickly.
Castle looked at the suspect to see him lying dead with a small revolver in his left hand and Castle kicked the revolver from the man's hand. Castle fell to his knees beside Beckett who was breathing heavily as she held her now blood covered hands on her stomach.
"Kate, hang on, stay with me," Castle said as he tore his jacket off.
Castle quickly held his jacket against the wound, applying pressure, which made Beckett gasp in pain. Beckett's hazel eyes were staring at Castle who was fumbling in his pants pocket for his phone and then typing in the three digit number he needed. After calling 911, Castle quickly called Esposito and explained the situation before hanging up and focusing on his fading friend.
"R-Rick..." Beckett gasped.
Castle looked at her face to see Beckett's hazel eyes half closed and Castle didn't know what to say as Beckett's breathing got shallower. Castle held her left hand in his right hand and he tried to smile as he still applied pressure on the wound with his jacket in his left hand.
"You're gonna be alright Kate, trust me," Castle said.
"I-It isn't your fault... Don't blame yourself Ric..." Beckett trailed off as she gasped once more.
Then Beckett was still as her head lolled to the left and her unfocused hazel eyes were glazed over, staring up in to space. Castle held his breath as the hand he was holding went limp.
"Kate?!" Castle asked.
With no reply, Castle moved near to kneel beside her shoulder and he pressed two fingers under Beckett's jaw to her neck, searching for a pulse. When Castle didn't feel anything beneath his fingers, his heart began pounding in his chest and he quickly levered himself up on his knees.
"Please don't leave me Kate!" Castle urged, his voice breaking.
He noticed blood was pooling around her but he ignored that and put one hand on top of the other, lacing his fingers together and then placed them on Beckett's sternum. He began compressions on her lifeless body, his arms straight, like a piston and Beckett's head lolled back and forth with each solid movement.
"Come on Kate, don't do this!" Castle yelled with tears stinging his eyes.
Castle reached thirty and then he leaned down towards Beckett's pale face. Castle already knew Beckett wasn't breathing and he parted her blue lips as he did a finger sweep of her mouth, then he hunched over her face, tilted her head back, opening her airway, held back her forehead and pinched her nose closed with his thumb and forefinger.
Castle took a breath and held Beckett's chin, before sealing Beckett's cold lips with his own. Castle exhaled a breath in to her lungs and her cheeks puffed out, then he sat back on his knees as he watched Beckett's chest rise and fall, a mockery of breathing. Castle leant down and pinched her nose, then blew another breath in to Beckett's unmoving body. Beckett's chest rose and fell then she was motionless again as Castle leaned back looking at her.
"Kate, please, you can't leave me," Castle said quietly as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Bloody finger prints were on Beckett's nose and chin, from where Castle's hands had been and Castle started CPR again as she didn't move an inch. Sirens could be heard as Castle's aching arms pressed down repeatedly on Beckett's still chest and Castle heard voices speaking to him and felt arms moving him away from Beckett's body.
Castle fought against them, tears down his face as he tried to get back to Beckett. He was shouting her name repeatedly, praying she'd open her eyes and smile at him. Paramedics surrounded her and Castle watched on as he felt the grip on his arms pulling him back. He looked up to see Esposito holding him back and Ryan behind him and Castle didn't know what to do as he looked down, wiping his bloodied hands on his white shirt which was already stained with blood. Stained with Beckett's blood.
Castle looked at himself in the mirror as he audibly swallowed the lump in his throat and he reached down for his keys. Captain Gates had told Castle to go home and change as Ryan and Esposito went with Beckett in the ambulance and Castle had agreed to go home.
When Castle left the scene Beckett was in a stable condition, but Ryan had just called him minutes ago and told him that Beckett had gone in to cardiac arrest and that the doctors called it. Castle was wishing he hadn't gone home now and he didn't want to believe that the woman he loved, the woman who never knew how he felt, was dead.
Castle walked away from the mirror, with his keys in his hand and he left his apartment, still covered in Beckett's blood. The drive to the hospital wasn't long and as Castle arrived at the hospital, he entered the building. Then he was running through corridor after corridor, until he heard sobbing in the corridor outside Gibbs's room.
Castle slowed down to a walk as he seen Ryan and Lanie hugging Esposito and as he got closer to the room, Esposito looked up at him. Castle seen the tears in his eyes and Ryan reached out a hand and placed it on Castle's arm.
Castle looked down as he opened the door and walked in to the room where Beckett lay. When he looked up he seen two doctors pulling up a white sheet over her body.
Castle walked over to Beckett's body, he stopped the two doctors with the sheet and he took Beckett's right hand in his hands and then Castle let the tears fall from his eyes. He held Beckett's soft hand tightly, then he looked at her face once more before he closed his eyes.
"I-I love you Kate,"
I'm so sorry for killing Beckett. It won't happen again. Anyways, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, if that's possible. And please could you maybe leave me a review as they mean a lot to me and I love knowing what you all think :)