Author's Note: Uh, hello. I've been watching Hey Arnold! a lot, actually, so I wanted to create this one-shot. I'm not sure if I made Helga too OOC or not so if I did I'm really sorry. Truthfully, I just had an urge to write this for some reason. Um, any who, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! or any of its characters, at all.
I don't know why I pined for him, that flaxen-haired angel who claimed my heart in an instant. It wasn't as if I had anything to look forward to. He, no, we broke up and his departure shattered the remains of my heart.
At that point I should have said, "Helga old girl, forget him," but it's so damn hard! Because no matter how hard I try he keeps coming back. He keeps consuming the parts of me who try as they might to get rid of him. I knew I could give up on Arnold. Criminy, I never really owned him in the first place. And if I could live for nearly seven years without us being together, I know I could muster up the courage to just...let him go.
If it wasn't for these letters!
Even while in San Lorenzo with his parents, it still feels like he's here always asking how I am and how everything is going as though he hadn't left at all. It's so difficult to give him up when I feel his spirit clinging to each letter I read. It's almost like I feel his presence lingering over me with every word I take in. I should just get rid of these letters and any memories attached to the sender, but he's already worked his magic. He penetrated any thoughts I had of giving him up. Through his optimistic words, I was caught hook line and sinker. I just couldn't escape the boy. But it was more that I did not want to escape in the first place.
Arnold is everything I am and everything I came to be. He saw me when no one else did, he believed in me, he helped me even when my rough exterior reveled in his torment. He gave me strength to do the impossible, to see the good in things, to see hope, and to feel loved. He's made me feel things that most fifth graders don't think about until high school. He made me bring out the greatest potential I had in things I may not have otherwise done. He contributed so much that to throw away these feelings and these memories would be tantamount to throwing a piece of myself away...
...And I just can't do that.
Because I'm Helga G. Pataki, the fisted ruler of PS 118. I am everything, yet I could easily be nothing. I'm a woman filled with contradictions. While I'm cold as ice on the outside, I'm hot as fire within, and I've learned to live with these contradictions just as I've learned to live with this love. If Arnold doesn't return, all I can do is wish him well with all the love I possess. And if he does return...we'll come to that bridge when we cross it. But for now, I will remain who I am, I will keep this love, I will keep these memories. Because these are all a part of who I am, and who I wish myself to be.
Sighing, I clicked my lucky purple pen to life and ordered it into action.
'Dear Football Head...'
I shook my head just as quickly as the words were jotted down, crumpled the paper to the floor, and started fresh.
'Dear Arnold,'