This story is written between my sister and I. She is a big fan of Disney Villains and I gave my word that I`d write a story about her favorite, Maleficent. I threw in a few of my personal favorites (i.e. Lampwick : D ). Hope you like it and that we hear what you have to say about!

DISNEY VILLAINS CLUB

I woke up today at 5 am, pulling myself from my purple silk sheets, to see a giant fluff ball of hair attached to my head.

I grudgingly made myself take a shower and blow dry my hair so that I could shove it into my hat. It took forever to put my hair in that awesome hat! I mean, seriously! Nobody cares that it takes like 5 hours for me to make myself wicked beautiful! And does the king care? No! Does the Chinese Delivery Man care? No! Geez, I wish they`d pay attention to this awesome hat that I bought on Evil bay (the internet flee market for villains), and it wasn`t cheap!

I went down to the kitchen where my goons fed me waffles and I fed them goon chow, which contains a mixture of kibble, dried out radishes, turnips, and God knows what else! I once found a dead rat in that stuff. Rats give my goons gas and trust me, you don`t want to live on the same continent with a gassy goon! I wanted to pick the rat out but I was afraid that it had the Black Death or some other disease 'cause it had what looked like whipped cream in its mouth. But, as I was throwing the rat away, the goons attacked me and fought over the eye and spleen. God, I don`t want to live through that again!

Luckily, I didn`t find anything questionable or deadly in the goon chow this time and they gobbled whatever it is down.

I glanced at my To-Do list. On my list was:

Seek revenge for not getting invited to Aurora`s B-day party - Something that I`ve been trying to do for the last ... few years.

Teach Lampwick to parallel park - since I have a lot of community service hours to perform, I`ve taken up teaching juvenile delinquents how to drive, so at least they can be an ice cream man or postman or whatever.

Buy more Goon chow - RAT FREE! :(

Have a "Welcome to DVC !" party for Dr. Facilier! - I`m glad that we finally got a new club member, since we all refuse to let the CGI villains join.

Rent RV for Villain Con trip!

Pack for Villain Con - Thursday the 18th of June!

I panicked - a week after Villain Con is the Olympic games (Villains versus Heroes). About a month back, DVC received a letter from DGGC (Disney Good Guys Club) that stated that they felt a bit sorry for beating us all the time so they challenged us to a session of games so we would stop sending death threats and black mail to them . None of my friends are what you call "sports stars " and 12 out of the 16 members are "klutzs " . But anyway I`m gonna take Aurora and her little prince DOWN! Yeah, that's right, your gonna get burned !

I called up the RV renter and got a large one that could accommodate 8 people in bunk beds. I`ll just have to partner up bunk mates, since RV Universe didn`t have a 16 people bunk bed RV. I`ll just have to ask Stromboli if he could hook up his cart so a few people could sleep in sleeping bags there.

I called all the villains who said that they were going to the convention no matter what, except the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. They give me the creeps! And usually that`s my job!

Everybody came and I had them sit down. I usually have them sit willy-nilly, but this time I had them sit by the year in which their movie came out.

The Pinocchio Villains weren't happy sitting together. Lampwick (he`s 15) and the Coachman always sit far away from each other. I mean Coachman double crossed him, turning him into a donkey. I`ve seen many people double crossed, but nobody would stoop so low as to turn naive children into jacks! It is so Villain-y, I LOVE IT! I still felt pity and turned Lampwick back into a human for two reasons; A) Nobody understood what the heck he was saying (braying) and B) I won`t have animals in my Castle! Except my Raven, my little pet.

And that leads me to another problem, Scar. I absolutely despise HIM, and I despise a lot of people. Here are the reasons why:

-He`s ignorant; never does what I say or plan out.

-He brags way too much!

-He`s an outcast from the other sophisticated villains.

DVC has a tradition to order Chinese Food from Panda Palace. I called them up beforehand (everyone orders the same thing all the time!). The meeting room is my palor . I Feng shui-ed it myself . I realized my life is way out of wak ! I need iner peace , so I `ll stop throwing vases if I get angry . Now that I got the Feng Shui-ed castle ,I`ve had better health and prosperty .

During meetings people talked alot . But not unplanned meetings , some people have other things to do , other better things . By that they mean they had a T.V. special to watch .

"So is everyone excited for the 72nd Villain Con?" I asked hoping they wouldn`t give me the cold glance .

A variety of responses came from the crowd. For a unplanned meeting I was getting good response .

"Good then! Well, we will be on the road for 2 days, arriving at the convention on the first day of the convention. Then we`ll spend another 2 days there and head back home another 2 days later."

Scar rolled his eyes. "Wow, too many 2 day things."

I frowned from my table at the head of the parlor.

Lampwick raised his hand.

"Yes Lampwick?", I said hoping this question didn`t involve pool or something stupid.

"What if your parents didn`t sign the permission slip?"

"There was no permission slip Romeo", I corrected him. " As you can see ..."

The door bell (which is actually a real bell in the belfry) rang.

Hades went to answer it. "Hey how ya doin'?", he said.

The guy at the door, a nerdy teenager, took one look at Hades and screamed.

"You got da order?", Hades asked over the guy`s fearful, girly scream.

The guy dropped the order and ran. Luckily, Hades caught all the bags of food. "Thanks for not charging us!", he yelled.

Hades smiled deviously and laughed wickedly .

I handed out food. Ursula -Sea food stry fry, without the tentacles. Frollo - Egg Foo Yong. Stromboli - Extra Large Order of Wanton soup. Lampwick - Chicken and Broccoli ...and so on.

One hour later, nobody had said a word, and they all sat there eating Chinese food with stupid grins on their faces. Just imagine 15 other people , sitting on your couch , with smiles like the Cheshire Cat while eating food you payed with your own money . I couldn`t spend the rest of my day just staring at the slow eaters going "Mmm!", I had too much to do! I just had to make them leave. .

"OKAY EVERYONE ! I`LL SEE YOU TOMORROW AT 5 AM SHARP AT THE FORBIDDEN MOUNTAIN PARKING LOT !" I shouted, pushing them all out with a doggy bag of their Chinese food.

Five seconds later a knock came at my door. It was Stromboli. "Can I have my Fortune cookie?", he said.

I frowned and threw the extra cookie at his face."Thank you!" he said in a stupid voice as I slammed the door.

I packed and got the RV ready. I left the goons with a long list of chores to do, along with several bags of feed. I then did my hair (I don`t have time tomorrow ) and went to sleep.

My sister and I hope you enjoyed this. We are going to work on Chapter Two: Villain Con or Bust! I still have to balance finishing "A New Me" with this, but I promise I`ll update soon.

P.S. My sister and I would like reviews or suggestions for what happens next in Disney Villains Club!