Disclaimer: Sadly, the only place in which I own anything Harry Potter related is in my head. And legally, that doesn't count. So I guess I'm pretty much screwed, huh?

A/N: Ugh. I hate to admit this, but upon request, I am writing a SLIGHTLY smutty Drarry. Yucky. (Not the Drarry part – that I love; I was referring to the smutty part). Anyway, here goes.

Warning: Contains material not appropriate for all readers. Readers' discretion is advised. :)

I Think I'm Royally Fucked.

OoO

"I am not gay, Pans!" I cried over the critical and mocking voice of my best friend, Pansy Parkinson.

"Oh of course not Dray. I mean, because every straight guy swoons and drools over another guy," she retorted, sarcasm lacing her words.

"I'm a Malfoy. I do not drool," I told her defiantly.

"So you swoon?" She smirked.

"Fuck you, Pans," I sighed, taking another look in the full-length mirror.

"Ah, but Drakie, gay men do not fuck women." Pansy teased.

"You dirty little whore," I whispered in what I hoped was a frightening tone.

"Just admit you want to shag him and I'll stop bothering you," Pansy offered, placing her hands on her hips.

"What does it matter what I want if he'll never come?" I asked, rather annoyed. "I mean, I could want you to go shag Blaise and leave me the fuck alone, but that's obviously never going to happen."

"You know, Blaise may be a bit dim-witted at times, but he makes for an excellent fuck-buddy. At least he's getting some. You haven't been shagged in over three months, Dray," Pansy pointed out.

"That's because the only one I want is him," I whispered, more to myself than to Pansy.

"Him?" Pansy was grinning. "So you are gay!"

"I am not gay," I said defiantly. "I have never wanted to shag, or be shagged by another guy before now."

"That still makes you gay," Pansy retorted, not letting up on the damned gay thing.

"Fine," I sighed, obviously defeated. "But I'm only gay for him."

"Whatever you say, Dray," she laughed.

OoOoO

I entered the Great Hall alone that morning, something I rarely do. I mean, Draco Malfoy entering alone looks more than a little pathetic.

Taking my seat at the Slytherin Table, I stole a glance across the Hall. He was sitting between a bunch of guys with the Mudblood in front of him. Finnegan, the sandy-haired Irish git that he was, leaned over and whispered something to Potter. This in turn caused Potter to blush something awful and everyone around him to laugh. Oh God. That raven-haired beauty was looking directly over at me. I sighed. Wait, oh shit! I averted my eyes quickly even as I felt a flush creep of my neck.

Dammit!

I grabbed a blueberry muffin and left the Hall. Cursing myself silently, I ate my muffin as I strolled the corridors in hopes of finding a semi-secluded area where I could scold my own stupidity. I found no such area, but I did find a rather empty classroom. The only living thing in it was a large brown rat that I promptly killed.



I took a seat on the nearest table and finished off my muffin. Oh God. How the hell am I supposed to explain this one? I mean, I may be a master of bullshit, but not even I can safely get out of this one. I can see the conversation now:

Harry: Why were staring at me like an oaf this morning, Malfoy?

Me: Um, because I...

Harry: You what? Were you imagining me naked, strapped to a bed, and begging for you to take me?

Alright, maybe that last part was a little eccentric, but hey, it makes for a great fantasy.

Anyway, I looked around the classroom in an effort to understand why it had been abandoned in the state it was in, and my eyes promptly rested on the toned, agile frame of my very edible Quidditch captain. Even though I was trying to stop my heart from exploding, I still had to wonder how the fuck he found me. Has he resorted to following me wherever I go? Damn him!

"Malfoy," Harry said as I stared on in a dreamlike bliss. Of course, I then realized by the expression on his face that he wanted some sort of an answer from me.

"Potter," I practically whispered. Wow. I've turned from a cunning Slytherin to an almost-whimpering girl. Of course, nobody except myself shall hear that confession, as I am still a Malfoy, and I do still have a reputation to protect.

"I noticed you at breakfast this morning," Harry began in the totally sexy voice of his. "I also noticed that you seemed rather happy to be noticing someone over at my table."

Oh fuck. I didn't like where this was going. At all.

"And of course, once Seamus told me that he thought you were staring, rather hungrily I might add, in my direction, I proceeded to tell him that there was no way in fucking hell a Malfoy would be fantasizing about another man. But now, I'm not so sure," Harry explained, eyeing me rather warily, as if I was going to fucking rape him or something.

"Oh? And why did you change your mind, Potter?" I drawled, silently cheering myself for my outstanding performance.

"Well, you see, a wise and rather drunk man once told me that only someone with something to hide bolts after he's been spotted. And that got me thinking. What on Earth would Draco fucking Malfoy have to hide that would cause his rather pasty skin to become a bright shade of crimson?" I took offense to that last remark. My skin is not fucking pasty, it's porcelain!

"I do suppose you're going to tell me what clever and obviously incorrect conclusion you've allowed your lump of a brain to draw for you," I snarled. Damn, I really know how to charm him, huh?

"Ah, but that would be pretty stupid of me, now wouldn't it, Malfoy?" Harry whispered in what in I was surprised to notice as a rather seductive tone. He slowly stepped toward me from the doorway, a smirk playing on those soft, red lips of his.

A twitch from my groin told me it was time to high-tail it out of that room before I did something I would regret.

"No doubt you intend to attempt to seduce me into whatever homosexual activities your perverted brain cooked up, but I really must be going to Transfiguration," I told him in what I hoped was a classic arrogant tone. But I knew that if I didn't leave, and fast mind you, I would have a hard-on for the rest of the day.

I jumped off the table and practically ran from the room, but I was not fast enough to prevent myself from hearing Harry's rather amused sounding words,

"Goodbye, Draco."

OoOoO

I entered the Transfiguration classroom panting slightly. I took my usual seat in the back next to Pansy. She gave me a pointed look and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"So what the hell happened?" she demanded in a whisper.



"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," I lied, trying not to look her in the eye.

She grabbed my nipple and twisted it through my shirt. The fucking bitch! I smacked her hand away and rubbed my now extremely tender left nipple.

"What the fuck, Pans?" I demanded.

"Don't lie to me Draco Malfoy," she hissed. "I know you and Potter did something. Now tell me the Goddamn truth or so help me God I don't spread a rumor about you two fucking in a broom closet."

"It was an abandoned classroom and we didn't fuck," I sighed.

"An abandoned classroom? How very romantic," she said sarcastically.

"Listen, Pans," I snapped. "I didn't go there to talk to Potter. I went there to get away from him." At her raised eyebrow, I explained the events from this morning to her.

"Wow, Draco blushing. Now that's a sight I would have loved to see," she laughed.

"Shut up, Pans. It's not my fault, alright? If he hadn't looked over, I wouldn't have ever blushed. So it's his fault," I reasoned.

"Was it his fault your groin was lifting, too?" she asked mockingly.

"Of course it was!" I hissed. "It's not going to lift without reason, and he was plenty reason."

"I still don't understand why you didn't just shag him," Pansy shrugged.

"Didn't just shag who?" came an all-too-familiar voice from in front of us.

I looked up and swore rather loudly. Several of the fucking Ravenclaws looked back, but turned away once they saw who swore.

"What the hell do you want?" I demanded.

"Just who our little Drakiekins wanted to shag," came the mocking voice of Theodore Nott.

"None of your damn business," I sneered.

"Ah, but if I heard correctly, which doesn't really matter when I spread the rumor, Pansy said him, which would make you a fag, Malfoy," Nott smirked. "And I'm sure your loving fan girls would be absolutely thrilled to hear about your adventures in abandoned classrooms with other blokes."

"Nott, I swear to God, if you tell anyone," I started.

"You'll what? Suck me off?" he sneered. "Go on Draco. Be the little slut you know you are." Nott crept around to my side of the desk and shoved his groin right in my face. It took all I had not to throw up that muffin. And the rest of my insides with it.

"Fuck off, Nott," Pansy sneered at him.

"Ah, but why would I do that myself when I have my own little slut here to do it for me?" he whispered sadistically. He leaned closer to me, and I could feel the hard-on he was getting. It made me sick.

"I am not your slut, Nott," I drawled quietly. I pushed him back from me, and continued. "And I will never be your slut. Now get your fucking dick away from my mouth."

Nott smirked. "For now, maybe. But later tonight, you'll be begging for it."

OoOoO

As I briskly walked toward the dungeons for Double Potions with the Gryffindors, the scene with Nott kept replaying over and over in my head. I obviously was not watching where I was walking because I succeeded in colliding with the only other person in the entire fucking school I didn't want to come into contact with.

"What the-" Potter looked across the floor at me, where I lay sprawled in a rather unattractive state.



"Watch where you're going, Potter," I drawled, trying to act as normal as possible with the fluttering in my Goddamn stomach.

He laughed. "Alright, Malfoy. I'll watch." I didn't like the coy smirk he had on as we stood up and walked to the dungeons, me a couple of feet behind him at all times. What the hell could that mean?

I entered the Potions classroom and took my usual seat in the back next to Pansy. I must have looked like I wanted to say something, because she gave me an expecting look.

"Nothing, Pans. Just thinking of how much of a prick Nott is," I offered. She knew that the bullshit, but she could obviously tell I didn't want to talk about it.

"I do believe I heard my name and something about my prick," drawled a voice from in front of us. Again. Dammit, Nott, just leave me the fuck alone!

I rolled my eyes and looked up at him. "Now what do you want?"

"I want the same thing I wanted three hours ago, my little slut. I want you to prove to me and everyone in here how you love to suck guys off," he whispered in my ear. I felt chills run up and down my spine. And a twitch from my groin area. Oh fuck. No. No he fucking wasn't.

I glared up at him. "Fuck you, Nott."

"Ah, but you will, soon enough," he whispered in that seductive tone again, causing another twitch and even more chills. I swallowed hard, and he noticed. He gave a small laugh and sat next to Blaise in the second row.

"What an arse," Pansy whispered to me. I nodded my head and stared at the front of the room, waiting for my godfather to appear.

He entered the room and slammed the door shut just as the last of the Gryffindors made their way to their seats. I think it was the first time I was honestly happy to see him.

"You will be completing the potion on the board by the end of class with your partner," he stated. But I could tell there was more. "But first, let me assign those partners."

Damn.

"Nott, you and Mr. Malfoy," Snape said tonelessly, signaling for Nott to take Pansy's place. Great, just what I fucking needed.

"Parkinson, you and Ms. Granger shall work together today." I suppressed a laugh. Pansy with Granger? Now that was funny. Granted, Granger wasn't trying to seduce Pans into making an arse of herself, so I still had the fucked end of the stick.

"Potter, I do believe you and Mr. Zabini would make descent partners." Harry looked about as happy as a lion with Erectile Dysfunction.

"And Mr. Weasley," Snape started, a rather evil smirk playing on his lips, "You and Ms. Bullstrode shall concoct a perfect brew by the end of class or you'll be facing a week's detention."

I smirked at that.

Snape flicked his wand and the instructions for a potion I had mastered ages ago appeared on the chalkboard.

"Aren't you going to go get the supplies, my little slut?" Nott drawled, his hand resting uncomfortably close to my inner thigh.

"Anything to get away from you," I said as I stood and retrieved the supplies. To my absolute horror, Harry was getting the supplies for him and Blaise. Damn.

I made a special effort to avoid him, but was unsuccessful. As I moved to grab what I needed from the cupboard, he whispered,

"It's not nice to avoid people, Draco. Especially people who want to talk to you so badly."



Of course, the whisper sent chills through my body and a major twitch from my groin happened to occur just as I was reaching for the fucking vials. I gasped sharply and dropped the one in my hand. I swore under my breath, fixed it, and retrieved another one for Nott.

As I sat back down, I saw a rather amused look on Nott's face. Like he knew something I didn't know he knew.

"So that's who you want to bottom," he sneered, indicating to Harry.

I felt a blush creep up my neck, but I refused to admit anything.

"I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, Nott. But please, leave me out of your sadistic fantasies."

"Of course, my little slut," he whispered, smirking, into my ear. I felt that twitch again. Holy hell, I'm being turned on by Nott? That's not right. "I forgot. You're a Malfoy. You'd want to top."

I could feel my anger rising along with a certain part of my anatomy that I will conveniently leave unmentioned. Fucking arse.

"You know absolutely nothing about my personal preferences, Nott, but I can see you obviously prefer having a guy suck you off. Is it because no woman would ever defile herself in such a way?" I sneered at him, sure I'd finally won the argument.

But no. He laughed. He fucking laughed. "You, Draco, are my slave. My little slut. And believe me, whatever Master wants, Master shall get eventually. I can tell you can hardly wait."

Before I knew what was happening, Nott's hand had slid over and was now stroking my erection through the blue jeans I was wearing. My eyes fluttered shut and my head involuntarily rolled backward. What the fuck is happening? I'm letting Nott molest me in the middle of class. Something about that is so wrong.

"See, slut?" he whispered. "I told you you'd like it."

With that he removed his hand and turned toward the potion. Of course, I was royally fucked and couldn't move without everyone noticing my hard-on. So instead, I perfected the potion as quickly as I could, filled the two vials with it, and had Nott carry them up to the front of the room. How I managed that, I'll never know.

After ten more minutes of agonizing pain, (from Nott's seductive whispering and stroking), the class was finally dismissed. I grabbed my bag and was about to leave when Harry decided he wanted to talk to me. Thank God Nott was gone, or this would have been even more awkward than it already was.

"So, Malfoy," Harry said quietly as we exited the room. I could feel Snape's accusatory glare the entire way out. "You and Nott seem pretty close."

"Oh God. Don't even ask about that," I rolled my eyes at the implication.

"Hmm. Oh well. That would have been a lot of fun," he shrugged, sounding a bit disappointed. "But we don't need him to have fun, do we?" The smirk he was giving me was sending icy chills to every part of my body. What was he implying?

Harry began inching toward me in the deserted dungeon corridor. I began backing away. And me and my smart self backed right into a wall. Harry stepped forward until he was face to face with me. He grabbed my groin and smirked at me. "You know, Malfoy," he whispered. "One would think that you were a tease. Flaunting those good looks around. Staring absent-mindedly. Licking those lips so…seductively." He gave my rising member a good squeeze, which did nothing to help me. "And I don't need to tell you that nobody likes a tease."

With that, he let go and walked off. Holy fucking hell. What have I gotten myself into?