This story is set before PD1. The main characters are not mine, they belong to Meg Cabot and Disney.
~The Goletsyn move~
The Canadian director Wladimyr Goletsyn was attending the French première of his fourth film The Unlikely Postman. At the party afterwards the mayor of Paris made a gesture towards the film poster and she said: ´You should go to Genovia, Monsieur. Your leading character eats a pear each time he's killed someone so he can turn a mass-murderer in Genovia in part two.´
It needed some explanation that Genovia's most well known export product was the pear. The mayor, sensing that the director was interested, anxiously suggested that if he visited the upcoming film festival in Genovia's capital, he could find out if the country served as a background for a sequel. And if it didn't, well, there's always France n'est pas? Goletsyn didn't reply. He stared at postman Lee who winked at him from his huge poster, a blood stained knife in one hand and a cut pear in the other.
OoOoOoO
Goletsyn wrote the script for a sequel with less effort than it took him to get an invitation for the annual Genovian film festival. The PR woman, Anita, was delighted when he announced that he liked to come, but she said she could only do her best.
Seriously: how many incredibly famous directors would possibly want to attend a festival in an insignificant country?
Anita reassured him that the organisation was honoured to greet him but that he had not yet received a security clearance from the palace. At first he thought 'The Palace' was the cinema but Anita told him that the King and Queen would be attending the opening evening and that security was extensive because of that.
A Queen? He informed after her age and lost interest when he heard she was fifty-seven.
OoOoOoO
A few weeks later on Goletsyn arrived at the festival. The Genovians cheered for him and die-hard fans begged for an autograph. Standing on the red carpet he made his announcement about Postman II and it was received with excited screaming. Goletsyn was very content with the reception and the grandeur of the cinema, something he had not expected in Pearland.
There were several journalists waiting to interview him and he missed the arrival of the King and Queen. After the opening movie, a rather good Spanish film, if you liked lots of monologues and lack of action, the festival's director, Mr Alba, came to see him. He told him that His Majesty liked to speak to him.
The Canadian wasn't surprised by royalty taking an interest in him. Someone had directed his attention to the King (´Look there, the King!´) but when he had turned around to look, he'd not been impressed. A small man with a tiny moustache, what's so exciting about that?
He followed Alba through the crowd and grinned when the born Genovian walked straight passed King Moustache. Never thinking he could be erring, Goletsyn stopped in front of the King. The man blushed with pleasure. Goletsyn gave him a warm smile, normally reserved for a gaffer who'd done a good job.
´I'm so pleased to meet you Mr Goletsyn,´ the King said.
Alba by then had noticed that his charge was missing and he returned in time to make introductions.
´Minister, how do you do? You've met Mr Goletsyn? Mr Goletsyn, meet His Excellency Mr Dubois, the Minister of Culture. Monsieur Dubois, I'm very sorry but I was taking Mr Goletsyn to His Majesty.´
´Of course, by all means. Mr Goletsyn, I hope we have a chance to meet again this evening.´
Goletsyn nodded and thanked his republican heart that he had not given in to his romantic soul by addressing Moustache as Your Majesty. By the time he stood face to face with the real King Rupert, he had not yet recovered from his mistake. The King, a tall, intelligent looking man, had seen his films and that made Goletsyn relax.
His Majesty had heard about the red carpet announcement. ´I was told that several Genovians offered themselves as dead meat?´ the King remarked with an amused smile.
´Majesty,´ Goletsyn said, ´there are always people who will take many days leave to be available for a two second shot in a movie.´
He was in his element now, feeling that he and the King were the centre of attention. He could have spent the entire evening next to His Majesty but before he knew it PR woman Anita and an unknown man had joined their conversation and the King greeted him to walk away with the unknown man. Anita introduced him to a Mr Jean Lancie (´Call me Johnny!´).
Johnny was the producer of a TV program for teenagers. They spoke about The Unlikely Postman for five minutes and Goletsyn got bored for Johnny could not be accused of being original. He looked around even though Johnny was still talking to him. The young man was far from insulted.
´You've found one?´
´Found what?´
´You know, a woman for the Pinch - I'm Wladimyr Goletsyn move.´
Oh God, that. Well, he hadn't done it in a while.
´Frankly,´ he said, ´I haven't seen anyone...´
´Not here, come with me.´
Johnny headed for another foyer.
´Now here's a room with a view!´
There were some common faces, true, but the majority of the women were pretty and there were even several beauties. The two men looked around approvingly. They were joined by Johnny's colleague Jacques who was told about the Goletsyn move.
´When you pinch a woman in her ass, what does she do?´
´She'll hit me,´ Jacques said with a shrug.
´Right. When Wladimyr Goletsyn pinches a woman, she'll raise her hand to hit him and then he says: Hello, I'm Wladimyr Goletsyn, what is your name milady?´
Jacques grinned.
´And then the woman just swoons,´ Johnny proudly finished.
´Works every time,´ Goletsyn added absent-mindedly. Both men followed his gaze and before they could say a word the Canadian aimed for his target.
He had added the what is your name milady? line because every woman loves to be called a lady. But now he had spotted a real lady. She was elegant. She radiated power. She was very attractive, in an ice sculpture way. Her beautifully cut blue dress was made to be unzipped by him, Wladimyr Goletsyn.
The lady was talking to Mr Alba. The festival's director seemed surprised and even annoyed by his sudden approach. Goletsyn decided that it was not done to pinch this fair lady with her husky voice.
He winked at Alba and pulled the lady close, putting his right arm around her hips, caressing her left shoulder with his free hand and enjoying the sight of her cleavage. She moved her left elbow to his torso and he was about to grab her wrist to prevent her from hurting him, when someone dressed in black smashed him to a wall, holding both his arms in a painful grip.
´I'm Wladimyr Goletsyn!´ he screamed while the bloke searched his body.
´Stop that idiot! Release me! Do you want my next movie to be his first film made with broken arms?´
The man in black whispered a reply in his ear and forcefully turned him around. Goletsyn wondered whether he'd heard him correctly. Just when he was about to scold the man in black, said man spoke.
´Shall I escort him outside Your Majesty?´
´Uh?´ Goletsyn said.
The lady nodded at the man in black.
´You're not the Queen are you?´ Goletsyn pleaded.
The lady raised an eyebrow and continued her conversation with Alba.
The man in black moved Goletsyn out of the foyer. The great director recalled what he had read about Genovia: its King was powerful. He also recalled what the bloke who held him had whispered. He shrieked.
No one met his eyes.
´No no, you can't do that! I'm a Canadian citizen. I didn't know. Someone told me your Queen was fifty-seven, Jesus, how could I know!´
His screams gradually faded away and all became peaceful again. Johnny and Jacques decided not to talk about the minutes they'd spent with the creepy director. Alba was in shock for the rest of the evening and Anita figured lots of Genovians who wouldn't normally visit the festival would now show up to see 'the spot where it happened'.
OoOoOoO
Later on in the Castle King Rupert thanked the Head of Security for his adequate action. The man in black bowed his head.
´The commander of the police had a word with him and customs are informed that he is persona-non-grata. He will be guarded until he boards an aircraft to his country.´
The King nodded and kissed his wife's hand. ´Are you sure you are all right my dear?´
´Rupert please. Nothing happened. I am fine.´
The King retired. When the door closed behind him, the Queen eyed her bodyguard.
´What did you say to him Joseph?´
´Your Majesty?´
´Don't try that with me,´ she said with a smile. ´He made a funny remark about his next film being his first made with his arms broken and then you said something to him.´
The bodyguard coughed.
´Joseph?´
´I said that what I had in mind was 'his first film made as an eunuch,´ he confessed.
The Queen threw her head backwards and laughed throatily. For the first time since the incident her Head of Security relaxed.
...
Author's note: reviewers remarked that spelling and grammar could be improved, and they were right. I replaced the contents.