It was late... late and very dark. I walked briskly on down the winding, cobbled lanes which were dimly lit by street lamps. The unwelcoming orange glow was something I hadn't ever truly forgotten. The lost memories seemed to sweep through me, like ghosts passing through, causing me to shiver a little. I gently pulled the hood of my cloak over my head as the rain began beating down a little harder than before.

The street was completely deserted; not at all as I'd remembered it... The very last memory I had of this place was that of terror and panic. Witches and wizards of all ages ran in fear; ran for their own lives…

Deserted as it was now, there were so many memories. I vowed that I would never again return here. I vowed that I would never again return to the very place that caused us so much anguish. And I vowed that I would never again... come home... That was indeed many moons ago, however. Circumstances had changed and so had I.

The rain continued to fall as I trudged on up the hill. My cloak, by this time, was completely soaked, but this fazed me very little.

'Sir?'

A voice from behind startled me. I spun around to see whom the voice belonged to- though I recognised that voice; I already knew.

'Potter?'

'Professor...' Harry Potter panted. 'Dumbledore... he wanted me to tell you that... there's been a change of plan, sir!'

'What?' I snapped. 'What on earth are you talking about, Potter?'

'Sir, Dumbledore sent me to tell you that you are not, under any circumstances, to enter the old library! You are to return to "the place it happened" to find what you need.'

'What?' I spluttered, shaking my head in disbelief. '...Entrusting you with such information... The fool!'

'Actually, he didn't tell me anything,' Harry muttered. 'He said that you'd understand the meaning of the message, though.'

I snorted. 'So... you're Dumbledore's new owl then, are you, Potter?'

Harry scowled.

I understood the message all too clearly, though I knew not of the reasons. The plan had been a set plan for months and Dumbledore was changing it last minute without even giving me a single explanation! ...

'Well, now that you have fulfilled your purpose here, Potter, you are to return to the castle,' I said coolly. 'You will inform Professor Dumbledore that I have everything in order, you understand?'

Without waiting for a reply I continued my journey through the rain, keeping a brisk pace. I was heading towards the old, abandoned house through the forest. The house that had once been my home... our home. Dumbledore meant for me to return...? After all that I had told him and he expected me to return to the house?

'The thing is, sir,' Harry called, jogging alongside me, struggling to keep up. 'I've been sent to assist you with something... Apparently you know what-'

'You... are to assist... me?' I spluttered, coming to a halt.

Harry said nothing.

I stood frozen for a moment, allowing my hood to fall to my shoulders and the heavy rain to drench my already dampened hair. For a moment I felt nothing, and then it slowly began to sink in. 'Dumbledore... sent YOU... to assist ME? ...HERE?'

'Trust me, I'm about as thrilled about this as you are,' Harry said sourly. 'But Dumbledore insisted.'

'But... WHY YOU?' I exploded. 'Of all the people that Dumbledore could have assigned... And he chooses YOU!'

Harry said nothing, but simply narrowed his eyes. The strong dislike we shared for one another was quite visibly mutual.

'I do NOT require your "assistance", Potter,' I said sharply.

'But Dumbledore asked me'-

'I don't care what Dumbledore asked of you, to be perfectly honest. I no longer share your faith in him... after tonight... And I want YOU out of my sight!' I growled. 'NOW!'

'Fine,' Harry retorted. 'You can explain that to Professor Dumbledore.'

'Fine!'

With that I turned around and strode on up the hill, not even glancing back.

I couldn't believe it... After all that had happened... After all that had been said and done... and Dumbledore expected this of me? How much more did he want from me? How much more could I give and still hold myself together?

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and there, right before me, stood Dumbledore. I leapt back in surprise.

'I suppose you already know why I am here,' Dumbledore said softly.

'Albus...' I mumbled.

A frown creased the old man's brow. 'Severus, why in times of crisis have you always turned your back on the ones that seek to assist-'

'I don't NEED any "assistance"!' I spat. 'Especially not from him!'

'Severus, you must understand that Harry is not'-

'I do not need anyone's help. No one's ever been there when... Well, before.'

Dumbledore hadn't moved and I could feel his cool blue eyes burning into mine. It was almost too much to bear. I turned away from the old man's analysing stare. He had already seen far too much.

'I cannot believe... that after all I've told you... you expect this of me!' I said after a few moments.

'Severus,' Dumbledore began slowly, 'at times we are all faced with things that we have no choice but to'-

'Do you honestly believe this to be some silly little fear that I'm simply unwilling to overcome?'

'Well, no. I appreciate that'-

'WHY HERE, ALBUS?' I cried. 'Why, of all places, must you send me here? And to this... Why the change of plan?'

'I cannot tell you yet, Severus.'

'Why not?'

Dumbledore said nothing and began to walk slowly towards the old house. I followed instinctively.

The house, despite the decay, surprisingly had changed very little on the outside. But remnants of the last night we had spent there were still evident. The windows had been smashed and the walls were now beginning to crumble. But it still felt the same and if I closed my eyes I could be there again. If I closed my eyes I could return to her again... my love. These memories were bittersweet, however, and that was what hurt the most.

'Severus, you have to go in,' Dumbledore's voice broke through my thoughts. 'You are the only one now who possesses the'-

'I know!' I snapped. 'But... you expect me to just... We aren't even certain about this!'

'This is true. But we have to try!' Dumbledore insisted. 'It is the only direction we have left to take.'

'But it isn't! There is still'-

'You must do this, Severus. You must.'

'I... I can't...' I whispered. 'It's enough simply standing here this evening. I cannot go inside... Not now... You know, Lily wouldn't have-'

'You have no other choice, Severus!' Dumbledore said sharply. 'And you know full well that... Well, that She would not have wanted to see you like this...'

I said nothing.

'You know, Harry has been faced with much more'-

Just the mention of Harry's name here, and after he had mentioned Her, made my blood boil. 'Do NOT bring him into this!' I snarled. 'If he's really such a hero then go and'-

'You know why I cannot'-

'So you would actually choose Harry over me if given the choice?'

Dumbledore chose to discard my question. 'If you have a shred of decency in you, Severus, you would do this- for the sake of Hogwarts at very least!'

Before I had chance to retort, however, Dumbledore had disapparated and I was left alone... as always.

The rain was still coming down hard and I was still completely soaked. The temperature was dropping too, though I felt too numb to feel the cold.

'I really have no choice but to do this, do I?' I said to myself silently. I knew my reasons for fearing this return, but from an outsider's point of view I could see how ridiculous it might have seemed. I could almost see James Potter and that smug expression he wore so often. I could hear his taunts echoing in my mind. Useless, pathetic, weak! No...

With that last thought I took a deep breath and strode boldly toward the old house. 'Lumos!' I muttered- my wand held out rigidly in front of me.

Broken glass crunched audibly beneath my feet as I stepped in through the old oak door and into the decaying hallway. It had once been so welcoming and still was in a strange sort of way even to this day. We had always been welcome. The door had never been locked, for only we knew of its existence. Only we could enter it. Only we could see it...

My heart began to sink as my thoughts drifted further. What a fool I had been...

I eventually managed to compose myself a little. There was little use in dwelling on the past, 'what's done is done,' as She would say. Though I knew not of what she would say to this. Would she hate me if she were here now?

It was the middle of July and we sat quietly by the lakeside. She was doodling idly on a piece of parchment and I was watching her intently, analysing her as I analysed many that intrigued me so. Now and then she would meet my gaze and... I would fall... She had me... She always had done... Had I really been so blind before?

'Sev,' she said, gently pulling me down from the cloud on which I had spent my entire afternoon. 'How are things? I've been meaning to ask for a while. You seem... a little distant at the moment.'

It took me a moment to realise that we actually hadn't spoken all day and that she was in fact speaking to me now. Had I really said nothing at all? Not a word? I knew it was true and I knew the reasons, but when I thought about it... My cheeks flushed a light shade of pink.

It took me a second or two for my brain to realise that she was actually waiting for a reply. 'I... Well, I'm alright... Thanks,' I mumbled.

She simply nodded and then, with a gentle smile, she turned to face the lake and began writing on a fresh piece of parchment.

I turned away from her for a moment in an attempt to compose myself a little. How silly I had felt when I first realised the mistake I'd made just that short time ago. But now I felt worse. How stupid could one really be?

Once my thoughts had become a little less tangled I began to realise that it was strangely silent. As I looked around myself I soon learned that we were almost completely alone. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle breeze through the trees... and, if I listened carefully enough, the sound of a heartbeat... that belonged to her...

'So...' I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. 'How are things with you? I... haven't asked.'

She turned to me and my dark eyes met with hers once again. Those eyes of hers had always dazzled me so...

'Not too bad, thank you for asking,' she replied. 'Well actually... To be honest, I've been a little worried about... something...' she stopped.

My heart skipped a beat. 'What? What is it?' I found myself almost begging. Her worries were now mine too; we were one. Though, she wasn't to know. She couldn't know.

Had she found someone else to share her time with? I had seen her eying the Gryffindor table... I had watched her intently after that, analysing her every movement for any sign that might indicate that my worst fears may had indeed been realised.

She looked at me for a moment- her cheeks had turned a rosy pink.

'What are you worrying about? Please will you tell me?' I asked again, possibly seeming a little deranged. But she wasn't mine. She had never been mine and I had to remember that...

'Well...' she mumbled. 'I've... Well, I've actually been worrying... about you.'

'Me?'

'Yes,' she said, absently twiddling with a stray lock of her long hair. 'I mean... well, I've been wondering if... everything is... alright... What I mean to say is, I've been wondering if things perhaps didn't go too well the other night and... well, I feel that I may have been partly to blame for that.'

'The other night...' It took me a moment to fully understand what she meant.

'Yes, well... I'm sorry if it didn't...'

That was really all she was worrying about? I began to smile for the first time in almost a week. 'No,' I shook my head. 'Listen, I want to take you somewhere.'

'Take me somewhere?' She repeated a little taken aback.

'Yes,' I replied grabbing her hand and pulling her away from the lake and toward the Forbidden Forest.

'Severus! We shouldn't go in'-

'It's alright,' I assured her, 'we won't actually be going into the Forbidden Forest, and if we get in trouble then I'll be the one solely responsible, okay?'

'That's not what I'm worried about,' she puffed.

'What is it then?'

'I... I haven't any shoes on!'

I grinned, glancing down at her bare feet. 'Is that all?'

She smiled back at me.

'Well, I could...' I stopped midsentence, realising what I had very nearly just said. How stupid! Carrying her! She wouldn't want that! It was completely inappropriate.

She looked at me, and I looked straight back at her with an awkwardness that was undoubtedly visible.

Without another word I lead her down a narrow path that, presumably, circled the whole of the Forbidden Forest. We followed the path for a short while and then I led her to another, less clearly marked path that led up a grassy hill.

'Where exactly are you taking me, Sev?' She spoke evenly, but I was unsure if I might have detected a hint of fear in her tone. I did not wish to scare her, that was never my intention, but I wasn't about to ruin the surprise. Although I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to make her see...

When we reached the top of the grassy hill we stopped.

Before I could say another word, she gasped, her gazed fixed on what should have been nothing more than thin air.

'You can see it too?' I whispered.

'Of course I can,' she replied. 'Such a beautiful house... Who do you suppose owns it?'

'Wait,' I breathed. 'You can see it?'

'Why? Shouldn't I be able to?'

'Yes, I mean, no... Well... you see, this house has had an unknown ancient charm cast upon it,' I began. 'I've researched this kind of stuff. Only certain people can actually see it- very few, in fact. I don't fully understand it, but I know for a fact that even Dumbledore knows not of its existence.'

I paused for a brief moment in order to regain my breath. 'This house appears to be of a similar nature to that of the room of requirements back at Hogwarts,' I went on to say. 'But it is deserted... Well, it was before I found Dani, a house elf.'

'You... you mean to say that... this house, a lot like a wand, will choose its owner?'

I nodded. 'I think so... Though, unlike a wand, it appears to be able to choose more than one single owner.'

'So that must be why I can...' her voice trailed away.

'That must be why you can see it...' I nodded, seeming to lose all fear I had, just hours before, been hopelessly riddled with. 'And... the house chose me, so it's my house... Well, it's our house now... and I'd very much like to... to share it with you... And maybe one day...One day...'

We both stood for a moment, gazing into each others' eyes. At this point I knew that there was only her... to anything else I was blind. The moon could come tumbling out of the sky at this very moment and I wouldn't even blink because all that mattered to me now was her...

...