This is my second story and it's a one-shot. So enjoy if your reading this blurb at the top of the page. If you don't want to read this story than just simply hit the arrow button on the left side of your screen.

Disclaimer- i do not own D Gray Man

Is it ok for me to say 'I'm in pain'? I don't feel like I deserve that privilege.

Sure my left eye causes me to feel pain and the akuma souls I see make me wince, but that's nothing compared to Lavi. I, at least, have both my eyes. Lavi wears a patch over his right, remaining unseeing. A bit of pain in one eye is meaningless when you compare it to not seeing out of an eye.

I've had my left arm ripped off and a whole eaten out of my heart by a demonic butterfly, but that's nothing to Kanda. Kanda, who I've seen beaten to near death by a level two akuma, who's survived the Earl's destructive dark matter ball, who refuses to be defeated by anything. I'm nothing compared to him.

I was abandoned by my biological parents and left to die on the streets. I was added to a traveling circus for a few years, but was adopted by a clown whom looked past my deformed arm. I, who had to kill the man I called 'Father', was taken in by Cross Marian and put threw hell for three years before I reached the one place I now call 'home'. But that's nothing compared to Lenalee. She might not be able to remember her parents, but she knew they loved her. She has a brother who was there for her, but they were ripped apart. I don't have any siblings so I don't know how that must have felt, I only know that it hurt her deeply. She was locked up in headquarters and chained to a bed before her brother joined the order as a scientist and was there for her. She was trapped there for years, but her brother freed her from her depressed and near unresponsive state. I can't feel the same pain she felt.

I was deemed a demon and a monster by most of those who saw me all because of my arm. Krory was called a vampire by a whole town, he was feared and hated because those people didn't know him. Him and I are really alike, we both were in solitude, both had a dearly loved one whom we both killed. But unlike me, Krory had lived with his Grandfather, with whom, he had a partial family. But Krory realized he was another piece of his Grandfather's collection of rarities, left to live in an empty castle. I killed my adopted father. Krory killed the love of his life. I think he deserves to cry more than I do.

I feel unlucky most of the time because of my past, but Miranda shouldn't have to feel unlucky. Miranda was left behind by other children as a child and was never given a compliment or a 'thank you'. She is allowed to cry when she feels sad. She was fired repeatedly from every job she got, and even children made fun of her while she is an adult. That's just not right.

When I feel like I want to cry or stop feeling anything, I think about my friends' pain and their sufferings, and what I feel is nothing compared to what they've been through.

So I just slip on another fake smile and give a small chuckle as I leave my bedroom to greet my friends in the cafeteria and begin my day as an Exorcist.

Review if you want to, I'm not asking you to, cause i don't really care. But constructive criticism is accepted, so throw whatever you've got at me, just try not to be too mean please.