Truly.
"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do
I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living. A deeper meaning."
I can't believe she's here with me. Lying in my bed, showing me all her raw emotions. The deeper I go, the more I become one with her, the more connected I feel. I'm trying to be strong, but as I see the tear escape her eye, I can't hold back the one that's been threatening to fall. I look in her eyes and all I can see is love. Love for me, love for my son, love for us. How can this be possible? How could after all we've been through, after all the horror and pain we've seen, how can she be this open and loving with me? What did I do to deserve this?
She smiles as she wipes away my tear; my movements more slow and deliberate now. She reaches up for me, and with her delicate hand, runs her finger across the thin scar Foyet gave me. It's her way of showing total acceptance. I mimic her movements by leaning down and kissing her Doyle scar.
We're in sync now. Her lips are slightly parted and her breath labored. My strength is waning, but I move steadily, not ready for the end result just yet. The arch in her back allows me to become closer to her; share more of her intimate inner being. I smile as I remember our first time, awkward and giggly, not really understanding each other's wants or needs. That was months ago. We've developed a pattern now. Our bodies share a template, our souls share a space. I wonder when I've gotten so deep. Then I realize; she did it. She brought me out of my darkness. I smile more now. I love my smile. My smile's name is Emily.
Madly.
"And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest power, in lonely hours, the tears devour you."
He's all I've ever known. And if I'd have been honest with myself from the beginning, he would have known that too. This seems so surreal to me. Lying here, being one with him, being so close; I can't tell where he ends and I begin. I feel so loved, so safe. It's a feeling I've never had before. And he understands that. Everyday he does something to show me that. I feel his love; it's so intense.
I can't help it; looking in his eyes makes me cry. There is so much raw emotion there. I reach up a wipe away his tear. It's probably in response to seeing me cry, but at least he's feeling more. I reach up and feel his scar. He's so strong. And yet, here's a sign, a symbol of his moment of weakness. He kisses my scar and I shiver a bit. I don't think of my scar as weakness but more as stubbornness. Had I only trusted him, trusted my gut and gotten him involved, perhaps…
His movements are slower now, more deliberate. He's close to the end, but won't let go. I love this part. He wants me to be fulfilled, and I am. I think about the love I have for him, his son, and our life together. I'm extremely blessed. Everything that I went through in Italy, everything that Doyle put me through, it was all to get me here, this moment in time. I arch my back a little more. I need him closer to me; I need to feel his every breath. He smiles at me. How I love that smile.
Deeply.
"I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to live like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me."
The sun hit them both at the same time. Opening his eyes, Hotch looked down at Emily sleeping in his arms. She stretched a little, reminding him of a cat napping. He gently stroked her cheek as her eyes start to open.
Emily awoke to the gentle touch of Hotch's hand on her cheek. The sun felt so good on her skin as she stretched. She snuggled closer; she'd give anything to never lose this feeling. She lay her head on his chest; the beating of his heart in rhythm with hers. Raising her hand in the sunlight, the sparkle from her diamond ring hit every surface of the bedroom. Hotch chuckled as she admired the ring in the light.
"You don't think it's too much, do you?" Emily said gazing at the memorizing ring.
"If it was, would you give it back?" Hotch said with a chuckle in his voice.
"Not for all the tea in China", Emily said, hugging her had close to her.
"You like tea that much?" Hotch said. A pillow collided with the side of his head. "Hit me all you want, but that's a whole lot of tea."
Emily giggled slightly as Hotch sat up in the bed. Pouting a bit, Emily grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.
"But Baby", he said, nuzzling her neck, "we got to get up sometime."
"But I don't wanna move", Emily said.
"Neither do I", Hotch said. "OK", he said looking in her eyes and kissing her tenderly. "10 more minutes."
Emily grabbed the remote and hit play. The sounds of Savage garden filled the room. Hotch started humming. Emily looked up at him, kissed his cheek and snuggled into him tighter.
"Until the sky falls down on me", she sang softly.