She sat there, not believing what she saw, what she heard. And yet, deep down, she saw the sense in all the mess.
How dare they
She, who always gave the benefit of the doubt, who always believed in the inner good of people. She always believe in being polite and giving smiles, so that people's live could improve the tiniest bit. And to be so unfairly judged. She couldn't believe people were intentionally evil, but the proof was right in front of her.
How fucking dare they.
To think they knew her heart better than herself, to act mighty and ruthlesss, to so decide the lives of people. Who were they, two loveless, proud and conceited human beings, without a sole of goodness inside.
She never was one to fight, to argue with raised voice. She never hit anyone, not had the slightly inclination to any sort of violence. Lizzie was the fiery one, the feisty Bennet sister.
But, at this moment, sweet, complacent, demure Jane Bennet wanted nothing more than destruction. She wanted their souls. To hurt and destroy their lifes just as they had done to her love. She knew Caroline would probably be laughing too, making some sarcastic comment about the Bennets, rejoyicing in their victory. Oh, to be this humiliated, without regard for his feelings.
She could feel the anger boiling through her veins, slowly creeping up her body, reaching her heart, trembling her fingertips, and spotting her face. If anyone met her at that moment, they wouls sure be afraid. Her eyes alight with fury, her hair seeming to be in flames.
She didn't want to reason, she didn't want maturity, she didn't want understanding. She wanted chaos. She could feel her very soul being involved in the darkest of feelings, and she couldn't do anything to fight it. Not that she wanted to. She had the seven devils with her
But then he hadn't called. He didn't bother to talk, to clarify, to hear her. He, to whom she gave her heart, shared the workings of her mind, her soul, had truly abandoned her. Not a call, nor explanation.
Slowly her anger quieted down. Her heartbeat started to even, her hands stilled, leaving behind the cold, numb feeling of tiredness. At the end, she wasn't good enough for them.
And at the end, he was a coward.
These were the facts, the cold, hard truth. And Jane Bennet would be damned if she didn't put herself back together