A/N: I was reading a Psych fanfic and this idea came to me.
Post COLS because it makes it fun.
"Clary," Alec said stepping into the library, immediately noticing the red haired girl.
"Alec," Clary replied, "My arch-enemy."
Alec snorted, "Sorry, but the position of arch-enemy is already filled."
Clary was confused, "By who?"
Alec shook his head, "You don't want to know."
Alec woke up on the couch in a familiar place and a familiar song was playing.
Blood is dripping from my hands,
Tell me, Is this what you wanted?
I'm the one that walked away,
For me, it's all that I needed,
With nowhere to turn I'll find truth.
He knew the person who listens to music like that.
He got off the couch and looked around. Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Simon, his parents, and Magnus were on the ground, hands tied behind their backs.
He sighed and looked around the room, "Alright Hattie."
Someone giggled and then the girl shouted, "You're late for tea!" Alec had time to move out of the way of a sailing tea cup. "I'm sorry baby, I love you."
"I love you too Hattie," Alec said. He looked at the girl, who was nineteen. She had long brown hair, green eyes, tall, and tanned. She was wearing a head-band with a small purple hat on top.
She was wearing a red skirt with blue hearts, lacy leggings, and a black shirt with a red vest. She wore white gloves. She noticed Alec's eyes roaming. "You like what you see?"
"You're going for the…uh…Wonderland theme again?" Alec replied.
"Yes. Sorry about the whole flash-bang and smoke bomb things. If I knew you were in there…" Hattie trailed off. She looked at the others on the ground. "My girls didn't know which one was which. I told them that you don't look like a drag queen. I have no idea why my boys took the girls and the adults."
Alec looked at the others, "Hey. I thought I was your boy."
"You're my boy…in the bedroom. But now you're not," Hattie said. "I can always shoot them point blank in the optical lobe region."
"Please don't shoot them," Alec replied. He sounded dry.
Jace and Clary looked at each other.
Clary mouthed, "What the hell is going on?"
Jace mouthed back, "I don't know."
"I can always throw them through a wood chipper," Hattie replied. "I want to hear their screams."
"No Hattie," Alec replied sounding exasperated. "I forbid you on killing them."
"I bet they'll taste good…with salad," Hattie replied.
Alec rubbed his forehead. "What did we say about cannibalism?"
"That it's morally wrong," Hattie said.
"Yes," Alec replied. "Even if you can make humans taste good. Now, because of you, I'm a cannibal now."
"I got better. I haven't eaten anyone in six months," Hattie replied.
Alec rubbed his forehead again. "Why can't you act like a normal criminal and rob stores or something?" Hattie pouted.
Maryse and Robert were looking at each other in horror.
"Did you do all this because you got lonely?" Alec asked.
"I feel empty without you," Hattie replied. "I need my buddy. I need my pawn for our games. I miss you barging in on my lectures to accuse me of being a serial killing cannibal."
Alec sounding tired, "Really Hattie. You can always just call me and not waste thousands of dollars to kidnap me."
"I also needed to plan for the costume party on Halloween," Hattie said.
"I'm going as the Mad Hatter and you're going as the White Queen. I still need to get the blue paint for my eye," Alec replied.
"Good," Hattie replied.
Alec sighed, "Do some other plotting next time. I do have a life outside of you, you know. I know those demons, vampires, and werewolves came under your orders anyway. That stuff doesn't happen at once."
Hattie pointed again. "It isn't fair, every since you broke up with me, you've been moping around and doing nothing. You're my other side of my coin. We're made for each other. I don't know why you had to go and date someone that looks like a drag queen! Ugh! I need to shoot someone!"
Alec rolled his eyes, "You know why."
Hattie frowned, "I know. We're so good together. Your mind with mine, we've could've been living out living in Chicago raising little babies."
Alec exhaled, "I need to get these people home and wipe their minds of this conversation."
"Yeah," Hattie replied. "I have something that can wipe their minds of the last hour. I don't know if it will fade but it might be able to hold."
"That will be great," Alec said. He was getting a headache.
"By the way, you have ten minutes to leave before this building blows down. I left a chicken salad and some cupcakes on the counter for you to grab on your way out. I know how hungry you get. You know my bed is always open if you need some comfort. You can always call me when you get bored. Also, the Game just started," Hattie explained. "I'll be watching you. Now I'm off to steal the Imperial State Crown for my White Queen costume. Have fun." She skipped away.
Alec rubbed his temples. "God, I hate arch-enemies at times, but she always makes things interesting."
Alec looked at the newspaper and noticed the headline:
One Of The Crown Jewels Has Been Stolen!
Alec had barged into Magnus's apartment to watch the news, which was talking about the disappearance of the crown jewels. Magnus didn't know why Alec snorted, smiled, and left.
Alec opened the door to the room, while Hattie was motioning to the whiteboard while a group of ten to twelve people. "So…"
Heads turned and Alec pointed at Hattie. "Stop killing and eating people!"
Hattie laughed and clapped. Alec left the room.
After the costume party, the Imperial State Crown had been placed back where it was, unharmed; according to the newspaper anyway.
Alec had to smile and shake his head, "God. I can't live with her and can't live without her."
Maryse looked at Alec. "Who are you talking about?"
Isabelle and Jace looked confused.
"Just someone I know," Alec replied.
Robert looked confused and shrugged, "Alright."
There had been a massive outbreak of demons, werewolves, and vampires that they had to chase down. Also, Sebastian had turned up dead.
Clary and Simon had noticed that it seemed like surveillance cameras seemed to follow Alec's every movement.
That however is a different story.
A/N: I know this may have come across as a 'what the hell did I just read' type of story.
The song is called What's Left of Me by blessthefall.