Title: The St. Patrick's Day (Massacre)
Author: S J Smith
Rating: Teenish
Summary: Sheldon doesn't celebrate.
Disclaimer: No, no, never, never, nuh-uh-uh.
Notes: Written for the LJ Community, Fanfic_Bakeoff, for the prompts 'Lucky/Green'.
"Sheldon, you know you're going to be pinched," Penny told him as he and Leonard stepped out of the apartment.
Sheldon gave her a long look. "Whatever for?"
"It's St. Patrick's Day." At his blink, Penny went on. "You know? March seventeenth? Everyone's Irish for a day?"
"I can assure you, I am not Irish," Sheldon said loftily. "Not even for a day. I'm not about to join some sort of cult, even for a day!"
"A cult?" Penny looked to Leonard for help.
Leonard's mouth pursed as he shook his head. "Sheldon doesn't believe in St. Patrick's Day."
"No green beer?" Penny snapped her mouth closed. "No, who am I talking about. No shamrocks?"
"A pagan tradition," Sheldon sniffed.
"St. Patrick was Catholic!" Penny said.
"Almost as bad as a pagan!" Sheldon said, "at least according to my mother."
"So, no wearing of the green?" Penny looked between the two men. "No 'good luck'?"
"Nope," Leonard spread his hands.
"Geeze, don't you know how to have any fun, Sheldon?"
He bridled. "Of course I know how to have fun. Why, this morning, I had an amazing thought during my morning bowel movement!"
Leonard screwed up his face. "Sheldon! Ew. That's not something we need to hear about!" He started down the staircase at a trot.
"But it really was an amazing thought," Sheldon protested, following Leonard.
Penny shuddered, going back into her apartment. Maybe some luck and some green beer, she'd wash that image of Leonard on the toilet right out of her head.
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