Notes: 'sup bitches.
1
"Your sister's a fuckin' bitch." Suigetsu chucked his phone across the garage and grabbed the entire box of wings off Sasuke's toolbox. The thing about having a girlfriend was they expected you to have money. No. Who the fuck can afford a large popcorn and candy at the movies, anyway? Let alone dinner afterward? It'd be cheaper just to pay for a hooker.
"Watch your fucking mouth." Sasuke was brandishing a socket wrench as he looked up from the engine of his car.
"Buy her flowers," said Naruto.
"I didn't fuck up this time!"
"Pathetic," said Neji. He was sitting in the passenger seat of Sasuke's car, his feet hanging over the side. He hadn't even touched the pizza or wings.
"Dude, what's your prob—the fuck?" Suigetsu looked at the ground, searching for what Kiba had chucked at his head. Fucking pizza crust? Seriously? What a waste. He snatched it off the garage floor, thinking five second rule. When he looked up, Naruto, Kiba, and Sasuke were giving him the death glare. "WHAT?"
"Tenten," whispered Naruto. "She moved. Remember?"
"That was like a week ago!"
"You're such a dumbass," said Kiba.
Suigetsu blinked, nibbling the half-eaten crust Kiba had thrown at him. Why did Neji's chick move again? She was, like, such a legit bro—whenever these assholes got on his nerves coz they weren't on his level, he would hang out with Tenten. She knew what he was talking about, that psychopath.
And, like, ever since she left Neji's been such a prissy bitch—more than usual! It was so annoying, like, Suigetsu really wanted to shove him down a hill.
This needed some remedy before his balls broke any more.
"Hey," he said, pointing the stump of the crust toward his stupid friends. "I gots an idea."
"No."
Motherfuckers never even let him talk!
"Let's go see Tenten."
There was a moment of silence as they all looked up at him, their facial expressions in the usual one Suigetsu was used to seeing when he proposed a pretty legit idea.
Naruto scrunched his face up. "Are you stupid?"
"No, are YOU stupid? Let's go on a road trip!"