Lucas woke up with what seemed like the weight of the world on his heart. How could he have been so stupid? It was stupid of him to assume that Brooke would just be waiting for him when he realized how much she meant to him and how much he needed her in his life? Now he had to live with the idea that he may never get to be with the person that made him feel alive, that he would have to watch her give everything he wished he had to another guy.
It was 7:23am when Brooke reach over to turn off her alarm that had been blaring '' for the past 3 minutes. When she finally sat up all her thoughts and feelings from the night before hit her straight in the chest. Why had she done it, why had she told Felix that she would give it a try when in her heart she knew it was the wrong decision. "Because he wants to love me," Brooke said out loud to herself. She knew that she was never going to love Felix the way she still loved Lucas, but loving Lucas brought her nothing but pain. And here was a guy down on his knees begging Brooke to let him love her, how could she say no. Lucas and her were friends now and if that was the only way he could be part of her life than she was willing to take it. But why should she hold back from someone else, when maybe one day she could grow to love him too.
Brooke ran through the hall of the high
school just as the second bell for class was ringing, she had drifted
off into thoughts while taking her morning shower and kind of lost
track of time. As she was rounding the corner she felt one of her
books slipping from her hand, as she went to adjust it she collided
with something and when went crashing to the floor.
"Oh my
gosh Brooke I am so sorry, I didn't even see you there" said
Lucas, as he reached down to help her up.
"No problem, I mean
I am sure my a$$ is going to start killing any second now but
seriously no harm done" Brooke replied with a huge smile spread
across her fast.
"Shouldn't you be in class Mr.? Brooke
said looking at Lucas curiously
"like you should talk,"
he laughed, " I was on my way to the principles office, I left
my bag at home this morning and I guess my lovely mother dropped it
off. What's your excuse?" he asked.
"Oh, I kind of lost
track of time, you know me I am only on time when it's to something
worth getting too" answered Brooke.
" You were always on
time, when we were together" said Lucas
" well than I
guess it was worth it," she said as she got caught in his big blue
eyes. If anyone had seen them at that moment they would have seen the
tension between Brooke and Lucas. Just than a classroom door banged
and Brooke snapped back to reality. 'I need to walk away now, before
I lose my strength to fight what I really want to say to you' Brooke
thought to herself as she tried to not look into his face. 'Just tell
her the truth, that you were a complete idiot for letting her go'
Lucas begged himself.
"Brooke..." Lucas began to say
but was cut off
"well I should get to class before I find
myself in detention, I will see you around Lucas" Brooke cut him
off before she lost the ability to walk away.
"Ya see you
around Brooke" replied Lucas
Brooke turned around and began
running toward her first period class, as Lucas headed towards the
principles office shaking his head and kicking himself for being such
a wuss.
As Brooke stepped out of her first period class she
felt someone grab her around the waist from behind and plant a huge
kiss on the side of her cheek.
"Hey beautiful, I waited by
your locker this morning but you were a now show" Brooke heard
Felix's voice say from behind.
She turn around smiling at him
and kissed him back, but this time on the lips.
"Yeah I was
late yet again this morning, Sorry" she answered
"no
problem, are we still on for lunch?" he asked before heading off
to his next class. "Of Course silly" Brooke answered as she
kissed him again and then started to head off in the other direction.
But as she tried around she caught eyes with Lucas who was on the
other side of the hall, and in that quick glimpse she could have
sworn she say pain in his eyes.
"Hey
P. Sawyer, What you got in that lunch bag of yours?" Brooke
asked as she reached the lunch court table that Peyton was sitting
at, "anything you want to trade, or for that matter share with
you best friend who forgot hers at home" she laughed.
"Again
Brooke, you know you don't always have to take half hour showers
every morning" replied Peyton as she handed Brooke the brown bag
that contained her lunch.
"What can I say, you know me too
well" smiled Brooke as she pulled out an apple and took a big
bite.
"So I saw you in the hall with Felix this morning, you
guys still doing you "friends with benefits thing" or
whatever?" asked Peyton with a disapproving look on her
face.
"As a matter of fact my dear friend me and Felix have
decided to make things official" Peyton looked shocked and not
at all pleased "what can I say he begged me and I just couldn't
resist."
"Yeah but Brooke I mean come on, the guys isn't
what you would call your Mr. Perfect, for that matter I don't know
why you would want to call him you Mr. Anything.
"Yeah well
the last guy I thought was mar. right turned out to be Mr. right for
more than just me remember," Brooke snapped back
Peyton just
looked at Brooke with hurt in her eyes.
" I'm sorry peyt I
know that we are trying to put that all behind us, I am just saying
that I tried that whole dating someone i thought was everything but
he turned out to be all wrong. Now i am just want to be with someone
who wants to be with me and i guess felix is that guy" said
brooke not very convincingly
"well if this is what you want
then as you best friend i will support you now matter what."
replied peyton
"awww thanks babe" brooke said as she
pulled peyton into a hug
As peyton looked over brooke shoulder she
saw someone heading over to the table.
"speaking of former
Mr. Rights" she said under her breath, "hey lucas, coming
to joing the party table i see"
"sure if thats what you
kids are calling it these days" laughed lucas
He grabbed a
spot next to peyton so that he didn't have too look brooke directly
in the face, if he had to sit across from her for a the whole period
he knew he wasn't going to be able to handle it.
The three of them
sat and talked about school and stuff for a while until peyton
noticed that her sketch book was missing.
" I must have left
it in the biology room" she said "I better go get it before
next period. With that she said goodbye and ran off leaving brooke
and lucas alone at the table. As they sat there in an awkward silence
it was the first time brooke realized that felix still hadn't shown
up. But not suprisingly she wasn't that upset.
"so lucas now
that we have decided to do the whole friends thing, is there anything
you maybe wanted to talk about?" asked brooke remebering the
upset look he had on his face earlier that morning.
"You have
a look on your face like your worried brooke, whats up?" he
asked
"nothing" she said "its just that earlier
today in the hall when we collided you seemed kinda distant and then
later on when i saw you you looked kind of upset"
This is it
lucas thought to himself. We are alone and she wants to know what is
bothering me, i should just tell her how i feel and get it over
with.
" Actually brooke there is something i would like to
talk to you about, you see i...well the other day i was thinking...i
guess want i wanted you to know is that" lucas was just about to
finally get it out but was cut off my brooke
" oh my god
lucas..."
"what?"
lucas asked a little upset that he was interupted at such a crucial
moment.
"you nose" she said grabbing a napkin off his
lunch try, "it just started bleeding, hold you head back i am
going to go get some more tissue" brooke said as she got up and
ran off to the table.
GREAT! lucas thought perfect timing. since
he was a little kid lucas was the victim of the occasional nose bleed
when he was really upset or nervous, at this moment he just wished it
was a phase that he could have gotten over.
brooke came running
back over with some more tissues and to lucas's despise she also had
felix coming up behind her as well.
Could this situation get
anymore worse he asked himself as he laughed and shook his
head.
"this isn't funny lucas" brooke said, "something
could be wrong with you, this is serious" it was at that moment
lucas saw the loving concern and worry in brookes eyes and all he
wanted to do was grab her and kiss her. But unfortunaltly he was
going to have to wait to pull out that move.
"its ok brooke
honestly" he said switching his old napkin with one that brooke
had brought over, "i get nose bleeds all the time, I will be
fine"
"promise?" brooke asked in a hopeful
way
"promise" said lucas as he caught her eyes.
They
stayed there for awhile just looking into each others eyes like they
had earlier in the hall that day, until they were intrupted
"well
if everything is okay here, Brooke can we get going there is
something i want to show you before the period ends?" felix
asked, as he began to feel like a third party and didn't like
it.
"well, i guess if your going to be okay luc..."brooke
studdard as she lost the connection with him
"oh yea, i will
be fine" lucas said as he stood up from the table, "i
should go get cleaned up anyways"
"ok, but take it easy"
brooke said again with concern in her voice
" I will, I
will...geeze mom" lucas laughed
"come on brooke lets
go!" felix cut in getting a little impatient and grabbed brooke
by the wrist and started to pull her away.
" I will see you
later Lucas!" brooke yelled as she grew farther away from
him
"see you brooke" lucas said to himself quietly
hoping that he would be seeing her sooner rather than later, and
praying that he would get the chance to tell her how he felt.
"Hey
luc, head up man" shouted nathan from across the court, as he
hurrled a basket ball through the air. Lucas wasn't even paying
attention until the ball hit him square in the chest.
"oh"
lucas said grabbing at his chest "where the hell did that come
from?"
" Man luc what is up with you today, that is the
second ball that has hit you and you game has been totally off"
nathan laughed as he ran up to lucas to make sure he was okay
"sorry,
i guess i just have some things on my mind right now, and suprisingly
basket ball isn't one of them"
"could one of those
things be a certain girl?" nathan asked knowing the answer
"shut
up man, you don't understand" lucas shot back at him
" I
understand that until you tell this someone that you still love her
things are never going to change"nathan replied "you need
to tell this girl luc and you need to do it now"
" we
both know who "she" is nathan can we just call her by her
real name" lucas said
" Fine, Your in love with brooke.
so what are you going to do about it?" nathan questioned him
"
You're right, I LOVE HER, but there is nothing else i can do about
it" he said with pain in his voice "i was the stupid one
who let her go, i took her forgranted and i don't deserve another
chance"
"maybe you don't deserve one" said nathan
"but that doesn't mean she wont give you one"
" how
can i ask her to do that nate?" asked lucas " how can i ask
brooke to trust me with her heart again after what happened last
time"
"if you feel as strongly as you do man, how can
you not?" nathan said as he bent down to pick up the ball
"
No" lucas shook his head "I have had all day to think about
it and if brooke is moving on and happy with felix than thats ok, she
deserves to be happy. she doesn't deserve me coming back into her
life and messing things up for her. She is willing to be my friend
and maybe thats just what i am going to have to live with. I mean if
thats the only way i can have her in my life than i will take it. I
am not going to screw things up for her again."
"well
its you choice man" replied nathan tossing the ball at lucas and
heading toward the locker room door. just before he reached it nathan
turned around though to add one more thing.
"but if you want
my advice man, I think you know she still loves you and that scares
you more than ever because that means you have to trust yourself with
her heart as well. But I say take the risk!"
Lucas just stood
there with all his thoughts and the last comment nathan had made. He
was right, he wasn't sure that brooke was in love with him still but
he also coudn't deny the feeling between them whenever they were
together and the looks of worry and concerned he had seen from her
earlier that day. No matter brooke was feeling nathan was right lucas
was scared, not really of brooke rejecting him but at the thought
that he may be given the chance to love her again and that meant he
also ran the risk of hurting her. And hurting her was the last thing
in the world he wanted to ever do again. It wasn't even an
option.
"what am i going to do?" he asked himself out
loud before taking a shot at the basket and heading toward the
showers to get cleaned up from practice.
The
Little bell on the top of karen's Cafe rang as the door opened up and
haley and lucas who were talking at the counter over hot chocolate
turned around to see who it was.
"hey peyton, whats going
on?" asked haley when she realized who it was.
"Umm
nothing much, i am actually just looking for brooke" she said
skimming the cafe in case she was there "you guys haven't seen
her have you"
Lucas and Hayle both shooke their heads
"No,
Actually come to think of it I haven't seen that much of brooke at
all this week" Haley added " I guess she has just been
really busy with felix, you know a new relationship and all"
Lucas
shuttered at the thought of brooke and felix together, it was a
picture he didn't want in his head.
"yeah i guess you are
right" answered peyton "its just like its not like brooke
to stand me up without letting me know that she is going to do it and
this is the 3rd time this week that she has done it"
"Don't
worry your not alone" lucas cut in "she was suppose to meet
me today at lunch to work on our economics papers but she never
showed, i thought i was because of me" He said 'i guess it
wasn't me that she was hiding from' lucas thought to himself and felt
a little bit better about being ditched"
"thats weird"
peyton thought out loud "i wonder what is up with her?"
"come
on felix let me go" brooke begged "i was suppose to meet
peyton a half hour ago and if i stand her up again this week she is
going to kill me and its going to be all YOUR fault."
"
forget it, i want you to stay here with me" felix said as he
grabbed her was tighter "i don't understand why you need to hang
out with those ppl anyways, you have me now isn't that enough?"
he asked
"those ppl are my friend and of course i love being
with you,..but i like being with them too" now come on stop
fooling around and let me go brooke said starting to get frustrated.
What brooke said was partially true, she loved spending time with
felix, ok maybe not loved but definitley didn't mind it. But lately
that seemed to be the only thing she was doing, she hung out with
felix all the time, she guessed he was a little jealous of her
friends and thats why he wanted to be alone with her. Due to this
though she didn't have any free time to spend with peyton,
haley...lucas and the rest of the group and she was starting to feel
like she was slipping away from them all.
Brooke broke finally
broke free of felix's grip and started heading for the door,
"ok
babe i am off, you know your way out and i will call you tonight when
i get home from hangin with peyton" brooke said as she grabbed
her purse of the night stand, blew a kiss to felix and started to
make her way out of the room. but before she got there felix pushed
past her and slammed the door shut.
"i told you i wanted you
to stay here with me" he said in a very strict tone
"why
do you want to get away from me huh?" he asked as he grabbed
brooke roughly by the shoulders and shook her
"ooww, calm
down muscle man, stop it your hurting me" she said as she tried
to break free from his grasp with no luck they stood there for a
minute of soo until felix realized that brooke was upset and let go
of her
"oh my gosh babe i am soo sorry" Felix said
sympathetically "i didn't mean to hurt you, its just that you
weren't listening to me and i really want you to stay"
"gosh
whats the big deal?" brooke asked "i was only going to go
out for an hour or so..."
"i know" felix cut her
off "its just that i am new in town and i just can't seem to get
along with your friends. Its like they have labled me a bad guy and
whenever i am around them with you i feel like an outsider, which
makes me feel like such a loser and all i want to do is be with you"
Felix said with a hurt in his eyes that brooke just couldn't resist.
"he didn't mean to be so hard and aggresive' Brooke thought to
herself, he just doesn't know how to express his feelings that well,
i mean its not like he is the only one look at me.
"okay
fine, i will call peyton and cancle the plans we have and you and me
can spend the night together" brooke replied feeling sorry for
him.
"just the two of us?" he asked even though he knew
the answer because he planned this whole thing out in his head
"just
you and me babe" brooke smiled back and then ran off to call
peyton.
Good, felix thought to himself. There was no way she was
going to go out with out him and have a good time. brooke was his now
and only his and thats the way it was going to be. whether she liked
it or not.
"damn it" brooke thought "not another one" she said as she noticed another bruse on her arm. looked like she was going to have to wear another long sleeved shirt until it faded away. It had actually become a ritually lately for brooke to look in the mirror at herself and see if there was anything she was going to have to cover up that day so she wouldn't get anyone questioning her like she had the first time.
(A week
earlier)
"hey brooke, we missed you saturday at nathans
birthday party, where were you?" peyton asked
"oh yea,
sorry i should have called to let you guess know" brooke replied
slowly trying to come up with an excuse that she hadn't already used
"I wasn't feeling really well and i figured it would be a bad
idea to come to haley and nathans just to be sick so i just stayed
in"
"Felix didn't happen to be there with you, did he?"
peyton asked starting to realize that there spending time together
had almost become obsessive.
"ummm no, i mean he stopped in
for a bit but then he left again. I guess he didn't want to catch any
germs." brooke laughed feeling awful for lying to her best
friend again.
Just as the belll rang and brooke went to
grab her text books she realized she still had the CD she had
borrowed from peytons to burn.
" oh P. Sawyer here is your cd
back, sorry i had it for so long" brooke said handing the cd
over to peyton
"Oh no problem brooke, i didn't need it back
that bad any...holy crap brooke where did you get that massive
bruise on your arm from?" peyton asked really concerned as she
grabbed brooks arm to get a better look
Brooke pulled her arm away
as fast as she could, "oh that" she said, "i was
getting some clothes out of the laundry and i smashed my hand off of
the dryer, it looks worse then it really" she replied
"laundry,
brooke when have you ever had to do laundry?" peyton said not
really believe what her friend had just told her.
" all the
time now" brooke added " I mean its not like we have money
for a maid now so i have to do it if i want clean clothes"
with
that brooke didn't give time for peyton to answer her back, she
grabbed a sweater out of her locker before shutting it and fan
off.
"see you later peyt," she yelled from behind as she
darted off to class
"see you brooke" peyton yelled back
and then stood there not really understand what exactly just went on
and what exactly to believe.
'No' she thought to herself 'brooke
couldn't have gotten those marks from felix, for one he adored her
and couldn't be able to hurt her like that. Secondly brooke was the
strongest and most out spoken person peyton knew and would never
stand for letting someone lay a finger on her.'
peyton shook her
head laughing, maybe laundry was just harder for her compared to some
ppl, "poor brooke" she said out loud.
Peyton was right, Brooke was really strong and assertive but when it came to the subject of her and felix and their whole situation...things were just different. Brooke just felt like she couldn't look past the fact that felix loved her and she wasn't willing to have another relationship fail. Brooke hated failure and she had already experiance it once with lucas, she wasn't going to go through it again. She was going to stay with felix, maybe if she began to love him she could change him...maybe one day things would be different. For her sake she was praying that that day would be soon.
"shoot,"
brooke yelled out loud as she ran around her room, "when did it
become soo late so fast, felix is going to be here and minute and if
i am not ready he is going to flip out"
Brooke had begged
felix to let her go to TRIC tonight to watch haley preform in a
talent contest that peyton had set up. After alot of yelling and
agruing felix had finally gave brooke the ok on two conditions. One,
they were going to go together, just them, none of that group stuff
and two they would leave whenever felix felt like it was time to go.
Though brooke hated being told what to do she agreed because she
didn't want to have to deal with the aftermath of disagree with him.
Brooke had lost all fight that was left in her, lately felix had been
pulling her around like a puppet and she was sooo brainwashed by the
idea of making things work with him that she fell right into his
little trap.
As Brooke started to walk out of her closet with
a pink shirt in her hand she heard a rapping at her door.
"come
in!" she said
"Brooke its 8 o'clock, i said i wanted to
leave by now, get ready and lets get this stupid evening over with!"
felix shouted at her
"Ok, ok" brooke replied i was just
trying to find a top to wear that covered my back a little better.
(again trying to hide the bruises)
"Just wear the black one
you have on, it looks fine." he said, "plus that pink one
makes you look slutty and i don't want anyone staring at you tonight,
it makes me sick"
"are you sure it doesn't show my back
too much" she asked
"NO, no lets go brooke before i
changed my mind" he replied before turning and heading out the
door
brooke decided to just wear the black top and grabbed her
pink shawl off her chair to cover up any of her back that was
showing. with that she ran out to the car before felix could complain
any more.
Lucas scanned the club as he walked in looking
casualy to see if brooke had shown up yet, or for that matter was
coming tonight at all. He was really starting to wonder what was
going on, brooke had said she wanted to be friends but lately he had
seen less and less of her. To be honest he probably saw her more when
they weren't even talking.
"hey luc" peyton said as she
walked up beside him, "looking for anyone inparticualar? she
asked
"No, just looking" he said
"Sure"
peyton said sarcatically "she isn't here yet but her and felix
are suppose to be coming"
"right, thanks peyt"
lucas answered back, just than he heard some yelling coming from
outside and decided to go check it out. when he opened up the doors
he came face to face with felix and brooke.
"hey guys, whats
going on" he asked questioningly
" I don't think its any
of your damn business scott" felix said shoving past him
"
Its nothing luc" brooke stepped in "just a little lovers
quarrle, no biggie" just than she felt felix come up behind
her.
"brooke lets go get something to drink" felix
demanded grabbing her arm and pulling her to the bar.
" I'll
talk to you later lucas, tonight should be fun" she said with a
fake smile spread across her face that lucas didn't buy for a second
as he nodded at her.
'something is definitley up' he thought 'and
i am going to find out what it is'
As the night went on and
haley preformed lucas tried more and more to take brooke aside and
talk to her in private but somehow felix always found his way to them
and he had brooke leaving lucas faster than he could even open his
mouth to say anything. Finally lucas decided to give it one more go
when he saw felix heading toward the bathroom.
" Hey Again"
he said with his charming smirk as he came walking up to brooke
"
hey you" she said back, "wasn't hales amazing tonight, she
really does have an amazing gift"
"yea" lucas said
in agreement and then decided he should speed up the convo before
felix got back.
"listen brooke, is there anything you wanted
to talk about? you know anything on you mind that you might want to
talk to a friend about?" he asked "because you know i am
here for you whenever you need me for anything and you can ask me for
anything i would do it for you"
"I don't know what you
are talking about" brooke replied coldly going into her usually
deny, deny, deny stance that she always took when the topic of her
and felix's relationship came up.
"It's just that something
seems off between you and felix, like something just isn't right"
he answered back with concern in his voice " and i mean i don't
think i am the only one who sees it"
"listen luc, no
offense but i am really getting sick of ppl putting in their two
cents where it doesn't belong. what goes on between me and felix is
are business and what you think doesn't really concern me"
"But
brooke.." lucas began to say
"No luc, just leave it
alone, please I'm asking you as my friend to just leave it alone"
brooke said beggining to tear up.
She decided she should walk away
now before things got more serious and she broke down right in front
of him. But as she was turning to leave lucas grabbed her arm and
pulled her, she came swinging back and she collided with a waiter.
When she ran into him her shawl went flying off. she bent over
quickly to throw it back on but it was too late...
" Brooke,
what the hell are those marks all over you back!" lucas asked
with both anger and shock in his voice
" Dammit luc i told
you to back off and you couldn't leave it alone, god why do you have
to mess everything up" she screamed.
"Brooke what the
hell is going on!" He shouted
"Nothing" she shook
her head as tear started to pour down her face
" that doesn't
look like nothing to me brooke, is felix hitting you?" he asked
"if he has been doing this to you i am going to..." he
started but was intterupted by brooke
" I'll tell you what
your going to do, your going to leave me the hell alone lucas"
she shot back at him " don't come near me again"
with
that brooke ran out of the club, leaving lucas there full of emotions
and full of questions. Questions he was going to find answers too, no
matter what he had to do.
Lucas
stood outside the door for a while trying to get his thoughts
together and deciding on what exactly he was going to say and what he
was going to do once he got eveything out on the table. Once he had
figured out what he was going to do he stepped up to the door and
pushed on the door bell. He heard her yell that she was coming and
then preceeded to here her running down the stairs to grab the
door
"lucas, what are you doing here? It's a little late
isn't it"
"Yeah, I know but we need to talk" he
said "Peyton, its about brooke...something is really really
wrong" lucas was being to feel all his emotions building up
again.
Peyton looked at him confused but as she saw the tears
swell up in his eyes she realized the seriousness of the situation.
"
okay luc, lets talk" she said "come inside"
"thanks"
lucas said entering the house
"soo you said it was about
brooke" peyton said " whats up lucas, why do you think she
is in trouble?"
lucas tried to come up with the easiest way
to explain what was going on with out having peyton flip out but when
it came down to it there was no way to make the topic he was going to
bring up anymore gentler.
" I think Felix is hurting her
peyt." he replied trying to stay strong " tonight at the
bar before she ran out, I saw her back" he started to pace the
room
" and?" peyton tryed to get him to finish the
sentence
" and it was covered in bruises peyton" he shot
back quickly trying to get it done and over with "really really
bad bruises, not the kind you get from falling down at practice, the
kind you get from someone halling offf and hitting you."
"
Oh my god lucas, are you sure?" she asked
" I know it,
even if i hadn't seen the bruises i knew something was up, i could
feel it in my gut everytime i was around her" he said "like
a part of her was secerectly asking me for help, like her soul was
reaching out to me"
"This can't be happening"
peyton shook her head in disblief "I mean brooke would never let
a guy treat her that way, i mean she is the strongest person i
know"
" i know peyton" he agreed "but its
happening and we need to help her"
" how? i mean what do
you think we should do" peyton asked " What are you going
to do lucas"
" thats just the thing" lucas said and
then the tears began to slowly fall down his face "she's pushing
me away peyt, she knows i know what is going on and she is pushing me
farther and farther away...she won't let me help her"
"
Lucas its going to be okay" peyton said going over to him and
giving him a big hug. she noticed he had began to shake with fear.
"
I am not going to let him hurt her again peyton" he said gaining
his strength again " That animal is never going to lay a hand on
her and i will make sure of that"
"i agree with you luc"
peyton said "but you know we can't just barg in there and start
beating him up"
" why not?" lucas shouted "
He deserves more than just a beating"
" I know, but if
we go in there with our guns out, brooke is just going to push us all
away and be pulled even closer to felix"
" We can't just
sit around for the next time peyton" he came back at her
"
I know we have to come up with a plan luc, we have to figure out what
we are going to do and take it step by step"
" FINE!"
he agreed " but we better do it quick peyton, i don't want
anything else to happen to her, she has to be ok..." lucas
began to cry again this time even harder
"she will be"
peyton said hugging him again.
Lucas broke down in her arms and
shook his head back and forth
"i can't lose her peyton, I
can't...I LOVE HER!"
"I
cannot believe that this is happening" haley said again for what
seemed like the one hundrenth time. lucas and peytond had decided
that if anything was going to happen nathan and haley should be there
to help out, for brookes sake.
"None of us can haley, but it
is and now all i want to do is kick that punk felix's A$$!"
nathan said clenching his fists together
" I second that!"
lucas added
"Come on you guys i thought we decided that
beating the living daylights out of felix wasn't going to help brooke
in any way" peyton rationalized "don't worry felix will get
what is coming to him when this is all over."
They had sat
around and decided that the best way to make brooke listen and open
up without getting defensive would be for haley and peyton to talk to
her. nathan and lucas would just stand guard if felix decided to show
up and something went down.
"ok you guys" peytons
said as she entered her bedroom again "i just called brooke from
the kitchen and she said that she would have to talk to felix but she
was sure a girls night tomorrow after cheerleading would be fine"
"
okay so all we have to do now is act like nothing is going on and
that tomorrow is just another normal day in tree hill" nathan
said
"easier said than done" haley added
" I
know its going to be hard you guys but we just need to get through
tomorrow and into tomorrow night and then we can help brooke see what
is going on, plus if we are at school we will all be there for her.
felix won't be able to touch her if we all watch out for her"
peyton tried to calm all their nerves, even her own, but to be honest
she knew it wasn't doing any good
"So we get through one more
day" haley said
"yeah, the longest day of me life"
lucas said quietly to himself
As lucas had predicted the day
had been long, even longer than he expected. I could have been for
the fact that he could not stop thinking about brooke and how he just
wanted to feel her wrapped in his arms. But then it also could have
been that every time he saw felix or the two of them together he
wanted to charge at the guy and beat him to a pulp.
Either way
lucas was just thankful that basketball was over with and that he
knew the girls were going to be heading over to peytons shortly, were
he knew brooke would be safe, because he would be keeping an eye on
them.
"ok girls, the movie is picked out, popcorn is
in the microwave and pizza is on its way" haley said "
everything seems to be in order"
"oh tutor girl"
brooke laughed "I just can't understand how you can make a girls
night orderly and perfect but you suprise me everytime"
"shut
up" she said throwing a pillow of the bed at brooke "i
can't help it if i have a compulsive disorder for organization"
"
Sooooo, while we wait for the pizza what should we do?" brooke
asked
Haley and peyton looked at each other both knowing this was
the time to get the plan in action"
" Well maybe we
could just talk" peyton said
"yeah talking, talking is
good" added haley
"okaaay" brooke said with a look
of curiousity on her face "what should we talk about"
"well
maybe we can start be talking about you brooke" haley said "
i mean how are things going with you brooke, i feel like we haven't
talked in forever, whats new in your life, anything exciting..."
haley started to ramble nervously
"i think haley is just
trying to point out that we haven't spent alot of time with you
lately and we feel like we need to catch up" peyton said trying
to cut haley off before she rambled way to far.
"well i mean,
there isn't a whole lot new" brooke started to say "and i
do feel bad that i haven't been able to spend more time with you guys
but i guess stuff with me and felix is still in that new relationship
phase were you just want to be together"
" We thats
nice" peyton snapped thinking about the 'quality time' felix
spent hitting brooke and hurting her
"so this thing with
felix?" haley asked "i mean that going well everything is
okay in the department?"
"yeah, everything is great"
brooke answered
"really?" peyton asked "i mean
there is nothing you want to talk about or let us know"
"No,
i dont think so" brooke added and then suddenly caught on to why
her to good friends were acting so strange
"oh my god, i know
what's going on here" she said getting up off the bed and
starting to pace peytons room "lucas told you guys about the
other night at TRIC"
peyton and haley just looked at brooke
with guilt in their eyes not wanting to answer her because they were
unable to lie.
" i can't believe this, i told him to that
nothing was going on and that it wasn't any of his business and he
comes running to you guys"
"brooke he was worried"
haley said "we all are, i mean if felix is hurting you
than..."
"felix is not hurting me" brooke cut her
off "god i can't believe this, I mean I am a big girl you guys
now and i can take care of myself. i mean don't you think i would
stand up for myself and walk out of the relationship if felix was
treating me badly: brooke added angerly
"No!' peyton jumped
in "obvioulsy you can't. for some reason felix has you wrapped
around his little finger and you can't seem to get away from it
brooke. Just stopped lying to us we know that felix hits you. stop
lying to yourself and just let us help you." peyton started to
cry "please broooke let us help you"
" I don't need
you help" brooke shouted, more so due to the fact that she was
angry at herself. she knew everything peyton was saying was true and
she wished she could reach out to them, but she was too ashamed, she
was too scared of what it would mean. Now not only that she failed
another relationship, but by that fact that she obvioulsy didn't
deserve to be loved and that she was too weak to stand up to felix
herself. " I can't belive this. i mean i thought you guys knew
me better enough to know that i wouldn't let some guy hurt me. I
thought you guys of all people would trust my judgement,but then
again i guess i didn't know either of you as much as i thought i did.
because i never thought i would sit here in room with the two of you
and feel like sh#!"
with that brooke grabbed her bag and
went running down the stairs, when she got to the bottom she wiped
open the door to find lucas and nathan staring her right in the
face.
" whoa, whoa brooke calm down. where are you going?"
nathan asked grabbing brooke before she could leave. just than haley
and peyton came running down the stairs to catch up with
brooke
"Brooke come on we know whats going on, just let us
help you" lucas begged with every inch of his body
"I
cannot believe this you are all ganging up on me" brooke asked "
and you lucas you said you wanted to be my friend and the first thing
you do is go against what i have asked you and try to ruin the first
good thing in my life after, ...god after you and what you did to
me"
"brooke he was just trying to help" nathan said
" thats all we want to do, we just want to help you"
"well
maybe you guys could tell me when you decided i neeeded help"
she snapped back at him and the rest of the group " cause i
don't ever remeber asking a single one of you to help me"
"Maybe
it was when i saw those bruises that lovely felix left all over you
back" lucas shout back at her, angry now that she wasn't
understanding or willing to realize what was going on.
" You
just shut up lucas" brooke said looking him directly in the eye,
crying inside for know what she was about to say to him "you
don't know whats going on in my life and you never will. I don't want
anything to do with you ever again, stay the hell out of my life and
you better damn well stay the hell away from me. You were a mistake
from the beggining in my life and i have finally come to see that i
don't need you as a friend. Hell i wish i never knew you"
as
the words came out of brookes mouth her heart broke all over again.
she had just told the only guys she ever loved the exect opposite of
everything that was in her heart. But she saw no other choice, she
had made the wrong decisions and now she had to live with them.
"And
that goes for the rest of you" brooke said " just stay away
from me. i don't need your help and i don't need you" with that
she turned around just in time before the tears came pouring down her
face and she ran off not wanting them to see the pain in her
eyes.
lucas just stood there, for a second considering running
after her but how could he after what she had just said. He too
turned around and walked away not wanting the others to see him cry,
not wanting them to see his heart break.
The other just stood
there on the pourch in shock. not really able to understand what just
happened and trying to figure out what to do now.
Brooke ran up the stairs and into her room as she entered her house. Not even making it to the bed she broke down at the floor near the foot of it and started to cry harder than she ever thought imaginable. How could she look lucas in the eye and lie to him like that, when everything she had said had been complete bullshit. She loved lucas with everything she had, even when he hurt her the love inside her heart for him never faded. But what else could she do, if she hadn't done it, if she hadn't pushed lucas away than he would have tried to help her and she couldn't let that happen. It wasn't lucas' or any of her friends fault that felix hurt her, it was her own. It was like felix was always telling her, she was a slut and she never listened. Constantly arguing and never listening to other ppl, they were the same reasons why she was sure she lost lucas and it they were the reasons felix hit her sometimes. It was her own fault and her friends didn't deserve to be punished or brought down because of her flaws, and she wouldn't let them. Especaily lucas, she loved him too much to have him hurt the way she did.
Brooke stayed at the end of
her bed crying and thinking about the events that just took place for
what seemed to be hours, until she decided she needed to get up and
unfortunately get ready. She had remebered that felix had said they
were going to go to a movie at 8 and it was alread 7, so she needed
to get a move on if she wanted to fix herself up so that he wouldn't
be suspicous or mad at her for making them late.
"music"
she said outloud...music always made her fell better.
Lucas
shook his head and thought to himself 'I know what she is doing and I
won't let her, she can't push me away when she needs me" lucas
got into his car and headed into the direction of brookes house
"
I mean she has to need me, because i need her and i am not going to
let anything happen to her. whether she thanks me one day or hates me
forever i am going to get her to listen, to understand and to keep
felix away from her forever."
Lucas had paced every inch of
his house for the past 3 hours. first angry and hurt by the words
brooke had said to him but than trying to figure out why she would
say such hurtful things to someone she wanted to be friends with only
days ago. 'she's got to be covering, she is pushing me away on
purpose,. pushing us all away so we won't get hurt' he thought 'but
in the process she is leaving herself to get hurt for them/' lucas
wasn't going to let this happen and thats when he decided to go see
brooke again, to try and make her understand. Even if it hurt just as
much as the last time to be shut down by her. He wasn't going to give
up on her, just like she never gave up on him.
Lucas walked up
to brookes door and rang the doorbell but there was no answer.
"
come on brooke, please be home" he said out loud
after
ringing it again and knocking a few more times he decided to just go
up to brookes room and see if she was there.
As he entered the
house he heard music coming from her room and then the quiet voice of
brooke singing along to it. 'good, she is here' lucas thought and
made his way up to her room.
As he came up to her door he stopped
for a second and just peaked in a brooke, he heard the song I Shall
Believe by sheryl Crow come on and watch as brooke slowly danced
around her room with her eyes closed. off in another world.
Come
to me now That not everything is gonna be
the way
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say
it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And
I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all
alone
But I do believe
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I
try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say
honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I
shall believe
"lucas" brooke said a suprised to see him
there "what are you doing here i thoughtt i told you that..."
"i
know" lucas cut her off "you want nothing to do with me but
there something i wanted to tell you first"
"what?"
brooke asked
"Just that you may want nothing to do with me
but that thats just to damn bad because i care about you and i am not
going to leave you when I know you are hurting."
" Why?"
brooke asked " why won't you just leave me alone
lucas?'
"Because" he said starting to studdard his words
from fear, this is it he thought
" because...because...god
because i love you brooke." he felt the weight lift off his
shoulders "I love you soo much brooke" he said again this
time to make sure she heard him clearly
brooke just stood there
for a moment in both shock and happiness and then without even
knowing why exactly she started to cry. lucas ran over to her and
pulled her in tight. Tighter than he had ever held her before, maybe
due to the fact that he still felt like her could lose her again.
They stood there for awhile in silence with only the music playing in
the background.
Open the door Never again That not everything is gonna be the way
And show me
your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
would I turn away
from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And
I do believe
You
think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it
right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You
won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And
I shall believe
"lucas" she started to say
"yeah?"
he said hoping that she wasn't going to push him away again
"there
is something i wanted you too know" brooke began to cry again
"lucas i just wanted you to know that i ...i mean i have
always...Lucas, I am in"
"what the hell is going on
here brooke?" felix voice cut into brookes words and then she
felt him grab her wrist and pull her aways from lucas " god
brooke i give you everything and this is what you do to me, you go
back to this loser who treated you like dirt and walk all over you"
lucas shouted in brookes face as he shook her in his arms
"
Get you filthy hands off of her felix" lucas shouted as he ran
over and came between brooke and felix
"Ha" felixed
laughed in lucas face " and who is going to stop me? You
couldn't beat up my sister"
"listen dirtbag, i know what
you have done to brooke and you are going to be sorry you ever layed
a hand on her you hear me" lucas said shoving felix into brookes
dresser
" guys please don't do this" brooke begged as
the situation elevated and she could see that things were getting out
of control
"Shut up!" felix shouted at brooke "What
have i told you over and over again you little slut? don't talk until
you are spoken too." he said as he shoved her out of the way
"now i am going to show this little punk friend of yours too
mind his own business and to stay away from what i mine"
"
YOu don't own her felix" lucas yelled " God you make me
sick, how could you hurt someone like brooke who is sooo beautiful
and full of life?" lucas asked walking towards felix " god
you don't deserve someone like brooke, ppl like you deserve to be put
away" and with that lucas lunged toward felix punching him in
the jaw. It was good hit too but as felix was falling back he grabbed
on to brooke and took her with him. She started to fall as
well.
"lucas!" she screamed as she started to fall with
felix. lucas tried to grab her hand but it was too late. brooke fell
back and smacked her head off the post at the end corner of her bed.
lucas could her the smack soo clearly and he knew it wasn't good.
"Brooke!" He rushed over and grabbed brooke in his
arms. she just lied there, so still and she didn't open her
eyes
"come on brooke" lucas said shaking her a little
trying to wake her up
"shit, come on brooke. please you have
to be okay" lucas shouted at her hoping that any second her eyes
would open and she would be ok. 'she's not okay' lucas thought to
himself. then with brookes had he grabbed his cell phone out of his
pocket and dialed a number
"hello 911" he heard the
operaters voice say
"come
on brooke, please wake up" lucas begged again as he held brooke
in his arms. 'Where the hell is the ambluance" he thought 'the
operator said they were on there way and they should have been her by
now.'
lucas' arms were starting to get sore from trying to hold
brooke up and he decided that it was probably better if he held her
up with hole body but when he tried to move his hand from behind her
head and pull her closer he was shocked to see his hand covered in
blood.
"SHIT!" he said out loud "brooke,
no...please god...this cannot be happening...please i can't lose
her...please..."
"Oh my god, brooke" felix shouted
as he came to from the blow he took from lucas' fist and then the
floor, "is she ok lucas, what happened" he asked with fear
and confusion in his voice
"you better pray she is"
lucas shouted starting to become even more emotional "god, if I
loser her...If she doesn't make it..." lucas couldn't bring
himself to finish what he was saying he just looked at felix with
hate and hurt in his eyes
"Hello?" lucas and felix heard
someone from downstairs "911 here, hello?"
"Up
here!" he yelled back down " Up here in the bedroom please
come quick she needs some help, PLEASE HURRY!"
The
ambulance crew came rushing in to brookes room, "move aside,
move aside!" the one paramedic said as he push lucas away
"what's this girls name"
"brooke" lucas and
felix answered at the same time
"brooke sweetie can you hear
me" the second paramedic asked "come brooke wake up, come
on kid"
" What happened here?" asked the other
"
she got shoved and she hit her head on the bed post" lucas
replied "the back of her head is really bad, i think its
bleeding...please you have to help her"
"we are going
to do everything we can ok" the paramedic answered back "we
just need you and your friend her to stay back and stay calm ok, its
going to do you friend no good if you both start to...shit!"
he said cutting himself off in mid sentence "she's gone into
shock, she's not breathing"
"we're going to have to bag
her" said the second paramedic "and then get her to the
hospital right away"
The paramedics worked together to put
the tube down brookes throat and bag her to the breathing machine,
then they rolled her onto the gernie board and pick her up to take to
the amblance.
"ok she's stable for now but we don't have alot
of time" the paramedic urged
Lucas watch everything in
silence and felt as if it was all going in slow motion. "This
can't be happening' he kept saying to himself "NO...no i just
told brooke how i felt and she was going to do the same i know she
was. she just has to be ok...she is going to ok' he thought 'she has
too, right?'
lucas watch as the paramedics put brooke into the
ambulance
"which on of you is riding with her?" one of
the paramedics asked
" I am!" lucas said moving closer
to the ambulance and then getting up inside right next to brooke
grabbing her hand as he sat down next to her, he than leaned over and
whispered in her ear "it's ok brooke don't be scared, i am not
leaving your side i promise. I am going to be here for you and you
are going to be just fine"
He just prayed that he was
right.
The ambulance ride to the hospital seemed to take forever
to lucas and he kept getting shoved aside as the one paramedic kept
sticking things to brooke and checking all the little gagets they had
brooke hooked up too. Lucas wished someone would just telll him what
was going, than again he wasn't quite sure he would have been able to
take it in anyways he just felt completely out of it.
When the
ambulance arrived at the hospital, doctors where waiting right
outside as the back door open. The paramedics pulled brooke of the
ambulance as they told the doctors all the information they had about
her condition. Lucas followed them through the hospital door but was
stopped by one of the nurses as he watch brooke get wheeled past the
doors with the letters ER painted across in bold letters.
"I'm
sorry son" she said "you will have to wait here"
"NO"lucas
said "I promised her i would stay with her, i need to be with
her"
"right now you need to let the doctors do there
job" the nurse stated
"she going to be okay" he
said trying to convince himself "I mean they are going to be
able to help her right, they know what they are doing"
"Yes
they know what they are doing" she answered "and i am sure
they will do everything they can to help your friend"
For
some reason lucas had this horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach
that the nurse didn't even believe in what she was saying and all he
could do was stand there helpless. Brooke, the girl he cared for more
than his own self was hurting and there was nothing he could do about
it what so ever, except stand there and pray that she is okay..
Lucas
had now been pacing the waiting room floor for what had seemed to be
eternity, he could probably tell you how many tiles were on the floor
and how many obviously needed repairing but all he could think about
was Brooke. The doctors hadn't been out to say anything since they
had rushed her into the delivery room and he was starting to think
that the longer he stood there the worse things probably were.
"
Well I finally got a hold of Brookes parents" Peyton said as she
entered the waiting room again "looks like they were in Saint
Bart's enjoying some sun before they headed back to tree hill, but
they said they would grab the first flight home"
"Well that's
good" Haley added "Brooke is going to need them when she comes
to"
Lucas had gotten a hold of Peyton and the others shortly
after he had gotten to the hospital because he knew they would want
to know, plus he didn't want to be there alone. They had all
arrived as soon as possible with a million questions but he just told
them that Brooke had fallen down and was in really bad condition. For
some reason he couldn't tell them what had exactly happen, maybe
because he felt like he was responsible for the whole thing and if
they knew what had happen they would feel the same way.
"So has
there been any news on how she is doing?" Peyton asked as she sat
back down beside Nathan on one of the chairs in the lounge
"Nothing!"
Lucas said angrily and started to rub his head, a nervous twitch he
had had for forever "I mean why won't they tell us anything, they
have been in there forever. Why can't one person let us know what's
going on."
"Hey Lucas" Haley said coming up behind him and
rubbing his back to calm him down "I am sure that Brooke is going
to be fine and they are doing everything they can to help her. As
soon as they know something they will tell us, don't worry
okay."
"Thanks hales" Lucas said, "I just need to know
what's going on before I go crazy"
And as if his prayers were
being answered a doctor appeared from behind the ER doors
" Are
you kids here for Brooke Davis?" he asked
"Yes we are" Lucas
said coming up to him " how is she? Is she ok? Can I see
her?"
"Calm down son" the doctor, replied, "My name is Dr.
Fisher and I was the one who took Brooke in when she arrived at the
hospital, now miss Davis arrived here in critical condition with a
major abrasion to her head and also a blow to her lower back. I did
everything I could to help her but…"
"but what?" Lucas cut
in with both worry and fear in his voice "what? You were able to
fix it right, I mean she is going to be fine right doctor?"
"
Well I was able to stabilize Miss Davis and clean up her wound but
for right now all we can do is wait and see what this accident has
done. Whether it will just leave her with minor injuries or if the
fall has caused more severe problems"
"what do you mean severe
problems" Nathan cut in.
"we when people have injuries to the
spin and head it can be both damaging to the brain and the nervous
system, right now Miss Davis is still passed out and we can only wait
and see if she has suffered any major side affects"
"This
isn't happening" Lucas said shaking his head
"Its okay
Lucas" Peyton said hugging him " We both know Brooke and she is
going to be fine. She's a fighter Lucas and that's what she is
going to do. She's going to fight"
"I need to see her"
Lucas said looking up at the doctor
"well I am only suppose to
let family into see patients" the doctor replied
"Please
Dr. Fisher" Peyton begged, "We are the closest thing she has
right now"
"Alright then" he replied "but only a quick
visit and two at a time so as not to upset the nurses
"You two
go ahead" Nathan motioned towards Peyton and Lucas and grabbed
Haley around the waist "will wait here for a little while
longer"
"Thanks" Lucas replied, he gave Haley a quick hug
and then him and Peyton followed the doctor to Brookes room..
When
Lucas and Peyton entered the room the only light that was on was the
one above Brookes bed. Lucas looked at Brooke 'she looks so
peaceful' he thought to himself ' god, she has to be okay, its
all my fault she is lying here and if something happens to her I
don't know what I will do with myself.'
"Now like I said"
Dr. Fisher interrupted Lucas' thoughts "she is still passed out
and she may be for a while, there is know telling when she will wake
up. It could be hours, days and at its worst weeks. We will just have
to pray that it doesn't take that long, cause the longer she is
out" he added hesitantly "unfortunately the worse it is for her
chances of not suffering any side effects from the fall."
"Thank
you Dr. for letting us see her" Peyton said as she made her way to
one side of Brooke's bed.
"Your welcome, just remember that
talking to her can't hurt" Dr fisher replied "I will be back to
check up on her in a little while" and with that her headed out the
room leaving Peyton and Lucas alone with Brooke.
Lucas made
his way to the opposite side of the bed that Peyton was on; when he
got there he brushed the hair out of Brookes face and grabbed her had
in his.
"God Peyton" he said with a soft cry in his voice,
"looks at her just lying here, unable to wake up. She looks so
peaceful, so unaware of what is going on."
"Yeah, just like
Brooke to look beautiful even at her worst of times" Peyton joked
unable to do anything else but pray that she would wake up.
"She
was just so innocent" Lucas added, " I mean she didn't do
anything to deserve any of this. Brooke is one of the only people I
know who cares about her friends more than she cares about herself,
she has such a beautiful heart and what has she got in return? Pain,
loneliness and suffering from all of us and yet she still protected
us until the end"
"What are you talking about Lucas" Peyton
asked questioningly
" I am talking about Brooke looking out for
us even when it meant getting hurt for it" Lucas said with
frustration, "did you know that Felix was betting her for spending
time with us and not him, cause he was I know it."
"But Lucas
we tried to help her and she wouldn't let us" Peyton added
"Yeah
because she didn't want us to get hurt, she didn't want it to be
our problem" Lucas said now almost at tears, "she was looking out
for us, she was talking all the pain so that we wouldn't feel
burdened and now this. God, Peyton I am never going to be able to
forgive myself if she is not okay. This is all my fault, why can't
I stop hurting her Peyton?" he asked with hurt and confusion in his
voice " why can't I stop hurting the one person in the world that
means everything to me?"
"Look at me Lucas" Peyton said
with sternness, "this was not your fault okay. You were only trying
to help Brooke, you were looking out for her and she knows that okay.
Lucas I know I my hearts of hearts that Brooke knows that we love her
and she is going to be okay"
"I hope you right Peyton, god I
hope you are right" Lucas said as he brought Brookes hand to his
lips and kissed it softly. "If Brookes wakes up…. I mean when she
wakes up I swear I am not going to go a day with letting her know how
much she means to me and that I am always here for her."
"I
know you will Lucas" Peyton said with compassion, looking at her
friend who was obviously going through hell, "Brooke will always
know that we care for her and we are here for her."
"Lucas?"
came a murmur.
Peyton and Lucas looked down and say Brookes
eyes start to flutter open, "Lucas, is that you?" Brooke said
again
"Yeah Brooke I am right here. It's okay I am right here
beside you" said grabbing her hand again and coming in closer to
the bed.
"I am going to go find a nurse" Peyton said as she
rushed out the door
"How you doing Brooke, you feel okay,"
Lucas asked
" Well my head kills like a bch and I feel a
little drowsy but other than that things seem peachy" she joked,
"what about you?"
"I am fine" Lucas replied, "I just
want to make sure you were okay. Brooke do you remember what
happened?"
"You mean between you and Felix and me falling,
yeah I remember." She said with guilt in her voice, "Lucas I am
so sorry all of this is my fault"
"No you listen to me" he
said to her "none of this, any of this is you fault Brooke"
"Well
I am not sure I believe that" she added "but thank you for saying
it any ways Lucas. Thank you for being here"
"I wouldn't
want to be anywhere else" he said and kissed her on the
forehead.
"Well, well, well" Dr. fisher said as he entered
the room "I hear that you have decided to awaken us with you grace
Miss Davis. I am glad to see that your friends were able to help in
your recovery"
"What can I say" Brooke said sarcastically,
"I hate being left out of things, I don't have time to
rest"
"Very well," Dr. Fisher replied "I am just going to
have to do a little check up to see how things are functioning for
you after that fall of yours. Do you folks mind giving us a
second"
"We'll just wait right outside the door okay
Brooke," Lucas said as he and Peyton made there way towards the
door.
"Peyton!" Brooke said, "will you stay with me, I don't
want to do this alone"
"Of course" Peyton said walking over
and taking her hand and Lucas made his way out the hospital room
door.
"Okay let's start with check all you vital signs"
Dr. Fisher said and put on his stethoscope. After checking her blood
pressure, heart rate and the wound everything seemed to be okay. "I
just want to check your reflexes now to make sure that the hit to
your back and spine didn't do any permanent damage" Dr. Fisher
said as he started to test Brookes arms and shoulders." After
getting her to do a couple exercises with her arms he moved to the
end of the bed.
"Okay Brooke now I am going to push you leg and
I want you to push my hand back as hard as you can, alright?" he
asked
" Okay" Brooke said but as the Dr. removed Brookes
blankets and set his hand on her leg she felt her heart drop. "Oh
My God!" she exclaimed
"What is it Brooke" Peyton asked her
friend with worry in her voice
"Dr. Fisher" Brooke said with
tears in her eyes "I can't…. I can't feel my legs. I can't
feel your hand on them at all and I can't move them."
"I
worried about this" Dr fisher said shaking his head
"What's
wrong with me" Brooke asked fearful of the answer.
"This
cannot be happening to me," Brooke said with tears swelling up in
her eyes "How could this happen?"
"I was worried that this
may be a consequence of your accident Brooke" Dr. Fisher continued
to explain, "You see when you fell down you hit two of the
vertebrates in you lower back and obviously it has down some damage
to you lower motor skills"
"So you are saying that I am
paralyzed from the waist down" Brooke cried "No, that can't be,
I mean I can't not be able to walk, no..no…no" Brooke shook her
head in disbelief not wanting to accept what she was hear the doctor
say.
"It's okay Brooke" Peyton said "We'll get through
this, there has got to be a way. Your are going to be fine."
"Oh
my god Peyton" Brooke said finally realizing that this wasn't a
dream "What if I never walk again, what if I am stuck in a wheel
chair for the rest of my life. No cheerleading, No dancing…. No
life."
"That's not going to happen Brooke" Peyton said
trying to convince not only Brooke but herself "You are the
strongest person I know and you are going to get through this and I
am here for you all the way. There is no saying that this is
permanent, I mean you could be up and walking tomorrow, right Dr.
Fisher?" Peyton asked with hope in her voice.
"Actually
Brooke" Dr. Fisher added "Peyton is right there is not saying how
badly damaged you spinal cord is right now, it could just be minor
bruising. Right now all we can do is focus on what we know and work
with it"
Brooke just sat there with her own thoughts for
awhile and though all she wanted to do at that point was curl up and
cry she knew she would be letting everyone and herself down.
"OK!"
Brooke said mustering up all the strength she had in her "than how
do we do that? I mean what do we need to do to get me walking again
because I'll be damned if I am going to give up now"
"There's
the Brooke Davis I know!" Peyton said hugging Brooke tightly and
kissing her forehead.
"Well we will have to do some x-rays on
your lower back to see if we can tell what damage has been down, and
you part in it will be as much rehabilitation and therapy to try and
get feeling back into your lower half." Dr. Fisher informed
her
"Piece of cake!" Brooke said, "I've been going to
cheerleading camp since grade 7, I think I can handle a little lower
body work."
"well it is going to be hard but I am glad to see
such a positive attitude," said Dr. Fisher "some people find it
very hard to overcome the shock of a situation like yours. I am just
glad to see that you have a lot of strength and people around you to
support you."
"That I do" Brooke said grabbing Peyton's
hand
"Well lets get started, I am just going to run and order a
few tests and then I will be back to go over what exactly you need to
do" and with that Dr. Fisher left to get the papers drawn
up
"Brooke I know this is a lot to take in right now but like I
said you are the strongest person I know and I know that you can do
this" Peyton said looking down at Brooke.
"Thanks P. Sawyer"
Brooke said trying to cover up how scared and upset she was really
feeling.
"Did you want me to go out there and let everyone know
what is going on?" Peyton asked, "I know that everyone is really
worried about you, especially Lucas."
" No, I think I need to
let everyone know myself and I think I should tell Lucas first,
alone" Brooke decided, "I know he isn't going to take the news
real well."
"Ok" Peyton replied " why don't just go out
there and let everyone know that you want to talk to them and
stuff"
"Sure, that sounds good" Brooke said, "But umm do
you think I can maybe just have couple minutes to myself………you
know to just kind of recoup?"
"Of course Brooke" Peyton
said, "Anything, I will just go out there and wait a few minutes
before I rally up the troop"
"Thank you Peyton" Brooke said
with all sincerity "thank you for being there for me"
"I
wouldn't want it any other way Brooke you are my best friend, my
kindred spririt and I am going to be here for you through it all"
with that Peyton kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the
room.
Brooke just sat there at first kind of trying to take in
everything that had happened in the last several hours in her life
and then she just broke down crying. 'Come on Brooke' she yelled
at herself you need to be strong if you are going to get through
this' but she couldn't stop the tears from coming down her face,
she couldn't help thinking that for some reason she was being
punished. ' Why is this happening to me' she asked herself, "I
don't think I can take this anymore. I am not strong enough." She
just sat there in the silence of the hospital room. Crying alone and
scared until she heard the door squeak open and someone walk
in.
"Brooke?" it was Lucas, "Brooke why are you crying,
what's wrong?"
He walked over to the said of her bed; she just
sat there crying harder than he had ever seen anyone cry. She looked
like her whole world had just been torn apart but she was unable to
say anything to him.
"Please Brooke tell me what's wrong'"
he begged as he took her in her arms with everything he had and
started to rock her back and forth, "God please Brooke, tell me
what is wrong……."
"It's
all my fault," Brooke kept saying as Lucas held her in his arms, "I
mean maybe I deserve this, maybe I am being punished."
"Brooke
please tell me what you are talking about" Lucas begged her again,
trying to get her to calm down and talk to him.
"Lucas" Brooke
said as she looked up into Lucas' eyes, she could see that they
were full of so much concern and questions and she couldn't let him
hang there any longer. She had to gather up her strength and tell him
the truth, even if she was terribly afraid of what his reaction was
going to be. "There seems to have been some complications after I
took my fall" she began, fighting back the tears but unable to stop
her voice from cracking.
"What do you mean complications?" he
asked, "I mean you're going to be okay right?"
"I guess"
Brooke answered, "what I mean is that I am fine, except for the
fact that I might not be able to walk again."
"What?" Lucas
said not able to believe what she had just said.
"Well I guess
when I hit my back, it did some damage to my spin and I can't feel
anything from the waist down, I guess it's a little ironic that the
part of my body that I can't feel is the part I love to use the
most" Brooke joked trying to hide her true feelings.
"Brooke
don't joke like that" Lucas said upset by her words "I can't
believe this, this is all my fault."
"What?" Brooke snapped
back "Lucas I told you non of this was your fault at all, I mean if
you hadn't had been there I don't know what Felix would have done
to me. If anything Lucas you saved me, you showed me that I didn't
deserve to be hurt. You showed me that it was possible to be cared
for without giving anything in return."
"Yeah but if I wasn't
there Lucas never would have gotten so upset, I mean I am the one
that pushed him over the edge and just kept on pushing, even when you
asked me to stop" Lucas said as tears started to swell up in his
eyes, "God Brooke, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything.
You don't deserve any of this and I wish I could make this all go
away. I'm sorry" he could hold back the tears any longer. Here
this innocent girl was lying in a bed not sure if she was ever going
to be able to get up and walk out of the room again and it was his
entire fault. Why did it seem like every time he reached out to her
it turned into a disaster, how could he hurt the one person he loved
more than anything in the world?
"Lucas look at me" Brooke
said taking Lucas' chin in her hand and lifting his head up so that
they were now looking into each other's eyes, "this was not your
fault. What happened in my room was an accident and we can't go
back and change it but I also don't want to start trying to blame
ourselves or others for what happened. What's done is done and all
we can do is move forward"
"Ok, than how do we do that?"
Lucas said taking Brookes hand in his and squeezing it tight, "what
do we do now?"
"Well I guess the upside to this, if there is
one" Brooke continued, "Is that it may not be permanent. The
doctor said that there is a good chance that it's just bruising on
my spine and I may recover. I just have to start the treatment that
they recommend and start physical therapy to keep my muscles
moving."
"Well I want you to know that I am going to be there
for you no matter what Brooke" Lucas said with sincerity in his
voice, "I mean what ever it takes, anywhere you need to go or do I
will be right by your side"
"I know" Brooke said feeling the
tears start to come again, "I mean you and Peyton and Hales and
Nathan have been nothing but good to me, I don't even know if I
deserve it"
"You deserve it Brooke" Lucas said kissing her
forehead, "what you don't deserve is being stuck here in this
hospital bed and I promise that we are going to do everything we can
to get you out of here"
"Everything" she heard Haley
agree as the rest of the group found there way into the hospital room
to see how Brooke was doing
"Hey you guys" Brooke said wiping
away her tears and trying to force the best fake smile she could at
this point, "thank you so much for waiting around to see me, I
guess Peyton here has filled you in on everything but I just want you
to know that I am going to fight this with everything I have." She
said as she grabbed for Lucas' hand "I'm not going to let a
little thing like this get in my way, I mean I am Brooke Davis right"
she joked again.
"That you are" Nathan said
"If anyone
can do it, it's you" Haley added
They stood there for a little
while longer until it started to become awkward and everyone decided
that Brooke should get some rest.
"Hey, Peyton do you think you
could wait around for a bit" Brooke asked
"Of course" Peyton
replied knowing that Brooke had something serious to discuss by the
sound of her voice.
"If you need me just call me okay" Lucas
said letting go of Brooke's hand and forcing himself to get up. He
didn't want to leave her said but he knew that she just needed a
little bit of space, some time to figure things out in her head.
"I'll be around for anything you need, and I mean that Brooke"
"I
know" Brooke said smiling up at him, "I will call you
later."
Lucas, Haley and Nathan each gave Brooke a big hug and
then left the hospital room.
"hey did you guys want to go grab
something to eat" Lucas asked, "there is something I need to talk
to you about"
"Yeah of course" Nathan and Haley both replied
and the three of them made there way out of the hospital toward their
cars.
"So what did you want to talk to me about Davis"
Peyton asked helping Brooke fix her pillows on the bed.
"What do
you mean" Brooke asked innocently
"Come one Brooke, I know you
wanted me to stay because you have something on your mind. And by the
tone in your voice I am guying it has something to do with a certain
blue eyed blonde that we both know."
"You got me" Brooke
said holding her hands up, "but seriously Peyton, there is
something I need to talk to my best friend about and it does have to
do with Lucas."
At the hospital...
"Shoot" Peyton said giving her full
attention to her best friend.
"Well to make the story short and
as sweet as possible, me and Lucas kind of had a moment" Brooke
said looking down at her hands, remembering the what had gone on
between her and Lucas before Felix had shown up.
"A moment?"
Peyton repeated looking at Brooke with confusion, "What do you mean
a moment, and when did this so- called moment take place? Come on
Brooke, I am going to need details here."
"Well I guess Lucas
came back over after I your place to try and talk some sense into me,
when he came into my room we got kind of close and he…" Brooke
stopped not sure if she was able to say the words out loud, it might
make them too real.
"He what? Peyton begged "Brooke you can't
leave me hanging like that!"
"He told me that….he said that
….he loved me" Brooke said surprised at the overwhelming feeling
of happiness and calm she felt when she said the words out loud and
actually believed them
"Shut-up!" Peyton said, "Wow, Brooke
that is so…"
"Stupid" Brooke replied, "I know, I mean
like Lucas is really in love with me. He probable just said it to get
me away from Felix."
"No Brooke that's not what I was going
to say," Peyton said embracing her friend, "I was going to say
that for a long time now I had a feeling that there was a connection
between you and Lucas. I mean once you hooked up with Felix, I think
Lucas realized his true feelings. And I also wanted to say that I am
really happy for you because you deserve to be loved."
Brooke
didn't know what to say except thank you and than she hugged Peyton
back with all she could.
"So what did you do when he told you"
Peyton asked
"I didn't have time to do anything, that's when
Felix barged in and messed everything up" Brooke answered
remembering the following events that she wish she could erase from
her mind, "and the topic hasn't been brought up since."
"So
what are you going to do about it?" Peyton questioned her
"Nothing
now…" Brooke replied with sadness in her voice
"What do you
mean now?" Peyton asked
"I mean with everything that is going
on, I am going to pretend like it never happened. And you Peyton are
going to act like a didn't tell you a thing" Brooke said
seriously
"But why, I don't understand" Peyton shook her
head
"Because Peyton, I mean look at me. I am stuck in this
hospital bed with a 50 chance that I will never walk again. I'm
defected, and I will not let Lucas through away his life on me. I
won't let him get caught up in it all. He doesn't deserve it, he
deserves better." Brooke said tears swelling up in her eyes.
"I
cannot believe that you just said that Brooke Davis!" Peyton
shouted back angrily, "Lucas loves you for who you are and he would
never care about something like you not being able to walk. You are
not defect Brooke, and there is a good chance that you will walk
again. Please don't push the people who care about you out of you
life again. We can't lose you again. Do you hear me?"
"I
hear you P. Sawyer" Brooke said through the tears, "but Lucas and
I can only be friends, that the way it need to be so that I can get
through all of this. Okay?"
Peyton stood there just looking at
Brooke.
"Please Peyt, I am begging you not to say a word about
this to Lucas. Please" Brooke cried
"Fine. I want you to know
that I don't like this at all, but I will do it for you" Peyton
said hugging Brooke.
"Thank you" Brooke replied hugging her
back and letting the tears pour out onto her best friends shoulder.
'I won't let him love me because he feels obligated' Brooke
thought to herself, 'I won't make him have to hurt me again when
he realizes I can't give him what a normal person could.'
At Karens Cafe
"Ok Lucas, we have been sitting here for
like fifteen minutes, spill the beans" Haley said giving Lucas her
signature questioning look.
"Yeah come on man, what's on you
mind" Nathan added
"Truth, I'm in love with Brooke Davis"
Lucas said flat out
"What?" Haley said in shock
"I knew
it" Nathan laughed
"What do you mean you knew it?" Haley
asked turning to Nathan, "and how come I wasn't informed about
this suspicion before now?"
"Because it wasn't my secrete to
tell" Nathan smirked
"Oh don't you give me that Nathan
Scott, you know I tell you everything I would expect the same in
return" Haley said to him pouting
"You guys already sound like
an old married couple" Lucas laughed, "but not to be rude I kind
of wanted to discuss my situation, not work out your martial
problems"
"Oh be quiet" Haley joked, "but seriously Lucas
lets talk about his, it is obviously bothering you or you wouldn't
have brought it up"
"Especially to the both of us" Nathan
said
"Well I guess the to sum up a very long and confusing
story, I messed up bad when I cheated on Brooke with Peyton. I mean I
can't even tell you now why I did it. Maybe I was scared, maybe I
didn't realize what I truly had until I lost it. I know that sounds
cliché but I mean once I realized that Brooke didn't want
anything to do with me I completely fell apart." Lucas confessed
with his head to the ground, "and I just want to feel whole again,
I want her back"
"Well have you told her how you feel about
her" Nathan asked
"Yeah, I did" Lucas replied, "I mean I
told her that I loved her when I went over to her house, before Felix
barged in and…." Lucas couldn't bring himself to replay what
happened next out loud, he could barley forget about it in his
head.
"And what did she say?" Nathan pushed Lucas again to
continue on.
"She didn't say anything" Lucas said with
sadness in his voice, "I mean I think she was going to say
something but in the end" Lucas paused, "She didn't say
anything."
"Wow" Haley said shaking her head, "I mean I
guess I never really thought that the whole you and Brooke thing was
a serious thing. I mean I love Brooke but she is your complete
opposite Lucas."
"Yeah I know" he said with a smile
spreading across his face, thinking of the time they had shared
together, "And that's what I love about her hales. I mean she
makes me feel alive, she makes me feel like I could do anything and
be anything, and she makes me want to try harder. I feel like I could
do anything around her without judgment or questioning. I guess when
I comes down to it, she makes me feel alive."
"Sounds like
love to me man" Nathan said grabbing Haley's hand and smiling at
her.
"Definitely love!" Haley agreed
"So what do I do
know?" Lucas asked, "I mean where do I go from here? I have told
her how I feel and she hasn't really brought it up since everything
that's happened. I just don't know if I should let things go for
now or if I should get back up and try again."
"I say try
again" Nathan said, "I mean you deserve to know where she stands
in the situation right, I mean a least from there you can move
forward."
"Yeah, I guess you right I mean if I just go and
bring it up…" Lucas replied but was cut off by Haley.
"I
don't know Lucas…."Haley said shaking her head in disagreement,
"I mean Brooke has been able to remember everything that happened
to her clearly and I am sure she remembers what happened before Felix
got here…. maybe she is just not ready for all this at once. I mean
she has been through a lot."
"But shouldn't he remind her
about how he feels, especially now, when she probably needs him the
most." Nathan argued
"I don't doubt that Brooke needs him
Nathan, that not what I am saying." Haley said in response to his
statement, "all I am saying is that Brooke knows how Lucas feels,
she just has a lot on her plate right now and maybe this is something
she is not ready to deal with at this point"
"I don't know."
Nathan shook his head, "I mean what is the harm in him telling her
that he loves her"
"Nathan you don't get it" Haley said
back becoming more angry, "things are just so much more complicated
to girls, its not cut and dry for us. Brooke will come to Lucas when
she is ready, I know she will but until than he just needs to be
there of her."
"Whoa, whoa, calm down you too" Lucas said
cutting into the argument, "I didn't mean to cause a lovers
quarrel. Look I think I just need to think about this by myself for a
while, you know work it all through my own head and gut. But thank
you for listening and giving your advice, I promise I will take both
sides of this debate into consideration." With that Lucas got up
from the table, "I will talk to you guys later" he said and
walked off to his truck.
"So what do you think he is going to
do?" Nathan asked Haley
"I really have no idea" she said
laying her head on his shoulder and watching Lucas walk away, "but
he'll make the right choice for him."
Lucas got out of his truck and walked onto the river court. He was glad none of the other guys were there, he had a lot to think about and this was his favorite place to do it. He walked over to the basketball net and laid underneath it, staring up into the cloudy sky. 'What am I going to do' Lucas thought to himself. 'I mean how can I not tell her again how I feel and allow her to do the same. I mean whether it's what I want to her or not at least it will be out in the open and I won't have to feel like I am hiding anymore. But than again maybe I should take Haley's advice, maybe Brooke just needs time, maybe she just needs me to be there for her as friend for now and we can get to the other stuff later.'
Lucas lay there for a
long time running both sides of the argument in his head. He was glad
that Haley and Nathan listened and gave there advice but he knew it
the end it was going to have to be his own decision, the one he knew
in his heart was the best. When Lucas had finally realized what he
had to do he got up from the court and made his way to the car.
As
he entered the hospital and made his way to the hospital room he was
even more sure that he had made the right decision and he had to let
Brooke know, he had to do what was best for the both of them.
Lucas entered the hospital room that was full of silence and as he looked across the room his eyes rested on a sleeping Brooke. 'She's beautiful' he thought to himself, he walked over to the side of he bed, bent down and softly kissed her on the forehead making sure not to wake her up. The he pulled a lounge chair close to the side of her bed and sat down beside her, taking her and in his. He knew she needed her sleep, she had been through so much and what he had to say to her could wait a little longer. Lucas who realized that he hadn't slept in forever had just started to doze off as well but than there was a rapping at the rooms door and lucas turned around to see his mother walk in.
"Mom what are you doing here?' he asked,
as she made her way up to the bed beside him.
"I heard about
what happened and I wanted to make sure she was okay" Karen replied
looking down at Brooke, "how is she doing?"
"Not good at all
mom," Lucas said and broke down crying, his mom was the only person
he would let see him at his weakest right now.
"Oh baby, its
okay" Karen said taking Lucas in her arms
"She can't walk"
Lucas said fighting back the tears, "I mean god she has been
through soo much already and now this, and its all my fault."
"This
is not your fault Lucas, you hear me," Karen said looking at her
son with compassion, "bad things happen and all we can do is take
them for what they are, be strong and move forward. Brooke needs you
right now and we all have to be there for her."
"I know,"
Lucas said wiping away his tears, "and I am mom, I am going to be
by her side no matter what. Brooke is going to know that she is
important to me and I am not going to let her down this time. I
can't!"
"I know you won't Lucas" Karen said with all
faith
Lucas turned back to Brooke and held her hand, "I really
love her mom"
"I know you do, and she loves you" Karen
said
"You think so?" Lucas asked
"When I walked in here
tonight I was struck with dejavu" Karen said making her way over to
the other side of the bed, looking down at both Brooke and Lucas,
"when you had your accident last year Brooke was in here everyday,
sitting in that very same spot that you are sitting in now and
believe me Lucas she never once took her eyes off of you. Whenever I
would talk to Brooke about you her whole face lit up, I could tell
she was in love with you and I am positive that she still is."
"But
I hurt her so much," Lucas said shaking his head, "how can I
expect her to just give me another chance."
"Love is a very
tricky thing son" Karen said walking over to Lucas and kissing him
on the head, "it makes us do crazy things"
"You can say that
again" Lucas laughed
"When she walks give her a hug for me,"
Karen said as she made her way towards the door
"Will do,"
Lucas said, " and mom…thanks"
With that Karen walked out the
door and Lucas turned back around to face Brooke, still asleep and
perfectly content.
"I hope she's right," Lucas said and then
went back to at least trying to get some sleep
Lucas
woke to the sound of Brookes breakfast tray being wheel into the room
and looked up to find a cheerful Brooke smiling at him as she brushed
her long brown hair.
"Good morning sunshine!" she said with
her usual Davis charm, "has anyone told you that you snore like a
banshee."
"Never," Lucas said with a smirk on his face
"Well
you do," she replied, "but its okay with me, I talk like there's
no tomorrow, so I guess we balance each other out," she laughed.
"I
guess we do" he said smiling up at you.
"you do know that you
didn't have to stay here all night with me," Brooke said with
appreciation in her voice, "I mean its sweet and all but I am sure
that that chair wasn't the most comfortable."
"Yeah, you'd
think they would invest in some chairs that people could pass out in,
especially in a place like this," lucas joked, " but seriously it
was not trouble, I know how much it sucks to be alone in a place like
this. Plus there was something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh
really?" Brooke said glaring curiously at him, "and what would
that be?"
"Us," lucas said seriously
"Us?" brooke
repeated alittle nervous about what she was about to her but at the
same time a little excited and curious.
"yeah, I mean I wanted
to make sure that we are okay," lucas went on, "You and Me. I
know a lot have gone on, especially just before the accident and I
wanted to make sure that we are still okay."
"Well I guess if
what you asking is that things are right again between us, than the
answer is yes lucas," brooke replied, "I mean I would like to
think that we are friends."
"Friends, right" lucas said
looking down in disappointment
"Great Friends," brooke added
grabbing for his hand, "I mean I am really going to need you
through all this lucas. You know to keep me sane."
"Well you
can count on me brooke," lucas said squzzing her hand back, "I am
going to be beside you every step of the way, I promise."
"its
not going to be easy is it," brooke said with despair
"For
you davis, its going to be a cake walk" lucas said trying to cheer
her up and keep her positive
"Its the walking that scares
me,"brooke went on, "I mean what if I never walk again lucas,
what am I going to do," she added as the tears began to come down
again
"brooke you are going to walk," lucas said looking into
her eyes
"Lucas no one knows that for sure," brooke added,
"and I think that its time we all think about that. I mean I can
try but that only gets me soo far and then what, I can't pretend
like there isn't the possibility that I will be in wheelchair for
the rest of my life."
"Than we deal with it brooke," lucas
said, "We work with what we have and go from there. But you have to
promise me you will not give up on yourself. I mean your strength is
one of the things I love about you the most and if you lost that I
would be devastated."
"Ok lucas scott," brooke said in a
strong and direct tone, "I will not let you down." She said and
laughed
"Good!" lucas laughed back, "now are you ready for
you first day of physical therapy?"
"I think so," brooke
said, "as long as I get to wear a cute outfit and not this ugly
gown!"
"I'll call peyton and see what we can do" lucas
laughed and picked up the phone.
The
next couple of weeks were both physically and emotionally draining on
Brooke.
She tried so hard to keep a positive attitude in front of
her friends but when she was all alone she would cry herself to sleep
and wish that it would all just end. The only thing she was looking
forward to was getting to leave the hospital, she always found in
depressing, maybe is she got out things would start looking
up.
"Alright, Brooke" Dr. fisher said looking up from her
chart, "it looks like everything is all cleared up and good to go.
I hope that you have safe trip home and I will see you Wednesday at
physiotherapy."
"Thanks dr. fisher," Brooke said as she sat
up in bed and grabbed the phone from off the stand beside her bed.
She had told her parents the other day she would call them when she
got the okay to leave and she wanted to get out of the hospital ASAP.
Brooke sat and let the phone ring, "come on, pick up" she said
out loud to herself, and the dreadful sound she was always fearful of
hearing come on. 'Click,' "Thank you for calling the Davis
residence, unfortunately we cannot come to the phone right now but
please leave message and someone will get back to you," it was the
same message Brooke had heard since she was 10 but the ending was
just a little different, "Brooke, sweetie if this is you, your
father got called away on business and we had to leave for Australia
this morning we will get in touch with you ASAP, love you baby."
"You
have got to be kidding me," Brooke said almost in tear but not
giving her parents the ability to hurt her anymore she took in a deep
breath and though about what her next move would be. "Now what?"
she though out loud but in her head there was only one person she
knew she wanted to call.
"Lucas?" she said as the person on
the other end of the replied with a friendly hello, "How much do
you love me," she teased, "cause I kind of need a favor."
"I
can't believe they just skipped town on me," Brooke said as she
and Lucas pulled out of the hospital parking lot, "I mean I know
that they are bad parents but this seriously has to be an all time
low."
"Awe, it doesn't matter anyways," Lucas said smiling
at Brooke with his big blue eyes, " you don't need them, never
have before."
"This is very true," Brooke said smiling back,
"its just going to suck being alone in my house, things are going
to be twenty times harder than I though they would be."
"What?"
Lucas said bringing the car to a stop in the middle of the
road.
"Why'd we stop?" Brooke asked looking around, "I
didn't see a dog or anything…"
"You cannot go back to you
house all alone Brooke, I mean that is like an impossible situation
right now." Lucas replied as he turned to Brooke with concern in
his eyes.
"Well I don't really have choice Lucas," Brooke
said, " I mean there's not a whole lot of options here in tree
hill…. like usually I'm all alone, Brooke Davis, party of
one."
"Nope, sorry won't have it," Lucas said shaking his
head, "it's just not going to work for me."
"Well than
what do you suggest wise guy," Brooke asked looking at Lucas with
curiosity. "I would seriously love to hear your plan," she
laughed.
"You can move in with me and my mom," Lucas said
seriously
"HA!." Brooke laughed, "I am sure you mom would
want to pick up some wheelchair bond girl and take care of her and if
she did it would only be out of pity…and I wouldn't ask her to do
that." Brooke shook her head back and forth.
"Come on Brooke,"
Lucas said taking her hand again, "you know my mom wouldn't pity
you and I know she would want to help you out and make sure you were
in a good place right now."
"I don't know Lucas, it's
really asking a lot," Brooke said starting to really like the idea
of being in a house with other people around, a place with the
feeling of what home should be.
"But you never asked, I
offered," Lucas smirked back looking into Brookes eyes with
sincerity. They said in that gaze for a while until the sound of a
car horn broke the lock and Lucas realized he was still sitting in
the middle of the rode.
"Come on," he said as he began to
drive again, "we'll go to the café, get something to eat
and take it from there okay."
"fine," Brooke smiled, "you
win this time Scott but you better watch your back, Brooke Davis
never loses more than once.'
"we'll see about that," Lucas
bragged back, and the two made their way to Karen's café.
"So
you can crash in my bed and I will take the pull-out couch in the
living room" lucas said as he set down brookes suitcase and
walked over to the bed, "mom said she just put new sheets down
on the bed and if there is anything else you need just ask."
"Thanks
so much lucas," Brooke said as she pushed her wheelchair into
the room behind lucas,"you and your mom have been so amazing, I
don't know how I am ever going to be able to repay you
both."
"brooke," lucas said shaking his head,"you
don't owe us anything, we want to help you out, thats what family and
friends are for right?"
"I guess," brooke said
looking down alittle embarassed, "I just mean in the past year i
have kind of been burned in both those areas and its a little hard to
not to let go and trust someone.
Lucas looked down at Brooke
knowing exactly what she met by her last comment, I mean it was one
thing for her family to let her down but he had let her down too and
he wished with everything inside him that he could take it back. That
she would one day trust him again.
"Brooke I'm so sorry,"
he said taking her hand in his and squeezing it tightly
"I
know lucas, really I do," brooke said squeezing his had back for
a short second but than letting it go. "hey do you mind if a
take a nap?" she said making her way over to the bed, the physio
kinda took alot out of me today."
"No, of course
not,"lucas replied,"do you need some help getting into the
bed or anything?"
"No i think i can handle it" she
said smiling at him, "if anything good has come out of this at
all, it's these killer pipes." she giggled and flexed her arms
at him.
"Alright,"lucas laughed back,"but if you
need anything just call for me, okay?"
"Oh, do worry
you'll be the first person I look for," brooke said sincereley
and with that lucas turned and walk out the door.
Brooke
positioned herself in front of the bed so that she was able to pull
herself up onto it, she thought she had positioned herself perfectly
but as she pulled herself over she hit lucas's bedside table and sent
the things ontop falling to the ground.
"Shoot!" she
said to herself, "nice going brooke, how are you ever going to
be able to survive on your own?" She hated it when she was
unable to do the normal things she could do before. The thought that
she would be stuck like this eat away at her and the fact that she
knew she couldn't share her fears with anyone upset her the most. She
wished with everything that she could tell lucas how she feeled, not
just about the chair but how she felt about him, but she wouldn't
allow herself to. She wasn't going to be a burden on herself and him
as well.
As Brooke leaned over the bed she picked up all the
little things that had fallen down and reset them back onto the table
where she thought they probably went. she had thought she had got
everthing until she noticed a small picture frame that had gotten
hidden halfway beneath the bed.
"Crap!"" brooke
said as she picked it up and noticed the glass underneath it. It must
have broke when it hit the ground. But as brooke turned the frame
over and looked at the picture in it she was taken back at what she
say. It was a picture that was taken of brooke and lucas at the
rivercourt, brooke remember the exact day. Lucas had been showing
brooke how to shoot a three pointer and she was trying to convince
him that cheerleading could be a guys sport too. She also remebered
this day because it was the day that she realized that she was
completely head over heels about him. She remebered the exact moment
her heart dropped and she knew there was no turning back.
lucas
had taken her hand and the two of them began to walk along side the
river. "You suprised me you know," lucas had said to her.
"what do you me?" brooke said not sure the answer was going
to be a good thing or a bad thing.
"I just mean exactly
that, You suprise me, in so many different ways. From the things that
you say and the things that you do, I mean you're totally not..."
"A brainless slut cheerleader," brooke cut him
off
"No," lucas stopped her from walking on and looked
down into her eyes,
"I was going to say that you are totally
more than I could have ever imagined. I mean when I first got to know
you i thought that you were beautiful and fun and outgoing, not
caring what anyone thought about you. But now I realize that those
things about you only are half of what you are, I learn something new
about you everyday. New things that suprise me, new things that I
think are amazing about you, I guess new things that keep me wanting
to know more." and with that he kissed her on the forehead and
pulled her into his arms.
The things that he had said only made brooke realize that lucas was the only person that really truly saw her. She allowed him to see those things she kept hidden inside and what got her the most was those things are what her loved about her. It wasn't the superficial things that she thought her was coming back for, it was what was beyound them and that meant more to her than she ever thought it would.
But now the memory only brought brooke confusion and worry. She wonder why lucas would hold onto such a picture of the two, with all the memories behind it. Could it be that he still felt something for what they had, that when he had said that he wanted to be friends he wasn't being completely honest. Brooke was scared that the feelings she felt toward lucas may be mutual, that he may want all the things she did, and that was never going to be possible. Lucas deserved something more, he desereved someone who wasn't broken
"Brooke…Brooke wake up…. Brooke Davis wake up this second or I am going to log roll your butt right out of this bed missy," Peyton warned her best friend as she sat down on the bed beside her.
"What time is it?" Brooke asked, as she slowly opened her eyes and was set back for a second until she remembered that she was not in her room, but Lucas' bed.
"It's like 6:00pm, who long have you been napping for you lazy bum?" Peyton asked as she picked up a pillow and hit Brooke over the head with it.
"Oww!" Brooke joked as she rubbed her head, "not that long, probably about 4 hours" she laughed, "I got tired after physiotherapy, and I guess I have had a lot of things on my mind, I just needed a break."
"What kind of things?" Peyton asked, "anything you would want to run by your bestest friend in the whole world?"
"Nothing important Peyton," Brooke lied, she was dying inside to tell her how she was feeling and what was going on between her and Lucas. She just didn't know if it was the right thing to do. Hell, didn't know if she wanted to have her thoughts said out loud, especially to another person. How could anyone understand?
"Brooke, have you forgotten that I have known you your whole life?" Peyton joked with her, "Oh yeah and that you are the worst liar in the world."
Brooke knew she was being seen right through and knew that she was eventually going to have to tell Peyton, it was time to pull the band-aid off and get it done and over with.
"Fine," Brooke said, a little unimpressed with the situation she was in right now, "but I don't want to talk about it here, lets go out for a walk…or in my case a wheel." Brooke said in a whisper.
"Okay," Peyton whispered back not quite she what was going on. But she grabbed the wheel chair and grabbed her friend's arm to help her out of bed.
"I can do it!" Brooke snapped at Peyton when she tried to help her
"Okay, sorry Brooke I was just trying to help," Peyton said a little offended by Brookes spontaneous anger.
"Yeah I know," Brooke said realizing how she sounded, "I'm just trying to do things by myself you know. I mean it better that way. I am not going to be staying here forever and I need to learn to do these things for my self, on my own," Brooke added.
"Well than let's go," Peyton said trying to avoid the tension in the room, but just as they were heading out the door they were stopped by a familiar voice.
"Hey, where you guys off too?" Lucas asked as he saw the two girls leaving.
"Just out for a little stroll," Peyton answered.
"That sounds like fun," Lucas replied back smiling
"Yeah," Brooke cut in, "Just us girls, heading out for a walk. The two of us." She added making sure Lucas knew he wasn't welcome.
"Okay," Lucas stammered a little surprised at the way Brooke was obviously trying to keep him from tagging along, "well have a good time, I guess…"
"Thanks," Brooke said, and wheeled out the door
"Bye Lucas," Peyton added with a curious look on her face, she too was confused by the way Brooke was acting.
"Bye," Lucas said and watched the two girls leave and door shut in front of him.
"Whoa, Brooke hold up..!" Peyton yelled as she ran down the street after Brooke, "wheels are definitely faster than legs," she added as she caught up to her and stopped to catch her breath. Once she was okay to talk again Peyton turned to face her friend and got right to the point. "What's up Brooke? I mean why were you blunt back there with Lucas, I mean you totally shut him down back there." Peyton question her, "I mean that's just not something you would do."
"I know, "Brooke said as she looked up at Peyton and started to cry, "It's just so complicated and confusing."
"What is?" Peyton prodded her some more.
"Lucas has been so amazing through all of this. I mean he was with me in the hospital, he takes me to therapy everyday and helps whenever he can and than her talked his mom into letting me stay with them while I got things figured out. And at first I thought it was because he still felt guilty or that he felt like he owed me something but now I'm not so sure that's why he did all those things. Know I'm wondering if it because…because.." she tried but couldn't bring herself to say the words.
"Because her cares about you?" Peyton finished her sentence, "because he's in love with you Brooke."
"Yes," Brooke said, now crying even harder, "and he can't okay, I don't want him too."
"Why?" Peyton asked
"Because Peyton look at me, I am damaged goods," Brooke said, now getting angry at herself for saying what she tried so hard to keep hidden inside, "Lucas deserves to have someone who is everything he ever dreamed of. He deserves to have someone who can give him what he wants. And that person isn't me Peyton, not anymore."
"Brooke do you actually hear what you're saying?" Peyton asked not able to believe the words that were coming out of Brooke's mouth, "Brooke, you such an amazing person and Lucas Scott would be lucky to just walk beside you. You are not even close to being damage goods. Okay so you had an accident and your in this wheelchair but that doesn't mean that you are going to be in it forever and it certainly doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be loved, especially by the one person that you and I know you're completely in love with too."
"Peyton, I have been stuck in this chair for three months now and I know that I am suppose to be miss positive and hope for the best but to be honest with you I am sick of the charade. I just need to realize, I think we all need to realize that I am probably never going to walk again and that's that. I have had so many bad things happen this year…you and Lucas, than Felix, I am just not sure that I can take it anymore. It time to realize that there are things that I thought I was going to have in my life, that I obviously don't deserve. And to be honest maybe love is one of them" Brooke said gathering her composer and looking her friend right in the eyes. "I'm not going to let him get any closer Peyt, my heart can't take anymore. I'm sorry, but I'm not willing too risk anything else because I am not sure that I have the strength to lose one more thing in my life. I really do want Lucas in my life but it's going to have to be as just a friend, nothing more."
"Brooke," Peyton tried to argue but was cut off
"Please Peyton," Brooke begged, "even if you don't understand just let things be."
"Fine," Peyton added not really happy with what she was saying.
"And promise me you won't say anything to anyone about this, especially Lucas," Brooke said. And with that she continued on, with Peyton standing there with a thousand thoughts running through her head.
The sound of the clock radio went off, blaring Jimmy Eat World as Lucas woke up and reached to turn it off. The clock flashed 7:00am, and Lucas laughed at the thought he had just had. A month ago, the idea of waking up on a Saturday before noon was unimaginable to him, but now it just seemed natural. Lucas had been taking Brooke to her therapy classes every Saturday and it really didn't seemed to bother him at all, actually he had to admit to himself that he really enjoyed it. Getting up for her that is, it just met that he got to spend more time with her. Lucas never once saw it as a bad thing, it met that he got to be around her, help her through this hard time and that met everything to him.
As he got up and made his way through the kitchen he knew that it wasn't going to be as easy making Brooke feel the same way. She wasn't what you would call a "morning person," and Lucas was no stranger to the battle of waking her up, especially on the weekend. He even knew it might be more interesting now that she had started to act differently around him. Not completely different, but Lucas noticed subtle little things in her demeanor around him that had changed. She had stopped allowing him to help her in and out of her chair, her answers to his questions were short and quick and it seemed every chance she got she was running out the door, leaving him behind. Lucas wasn't quite she what was going on with her lately and it took everything inside him not to ask her but he knew it would probably blow up in his face if he did. And so he decided to let things be, decided to play things by ear in hopes that she would come around and let him in again.
Lucas knocked hard on the door but wasn't surprised when he heard no answer, 'she's probable dead a sleep he thought', as he turned the knob and walk into the room. He was surprised though when he looked in the direction of the bed and found it neatly made with no Brooke in site, it was than that the note on the pillow caught his eye.
Lucas,
I know you are probably freaking out and wondering where I disappeared to but I decide to try and get myself to physical therapy today, I am going to have to get used to it since I won't have you around forever right. Please go back to bed and I will see you later.
P.S- Don't you dare think about showing up, I need to do this on my own
-Brooke
Lucas read over the note three more times, at first it was because of the way she had signed it, not your friend Brooke or even….love Brooke, just brooke before he decided that something wasn't right and that he was going to find out what was going on here. He grabbed a clean shirt and threw on his jeans as fast as he could and than made his way out to his truck, a million questions running through his head. 'What was all that stuff about her not having him around forever and having to do things on her own' Lucas thought to himself, 'she knows that I want to be there for her, I mean I have been there for her so far. Why would she not want me around?' he couldn't understand why she was acting this way, 'why was she pushing him away, especially when they had finally started to build back some of the things Lucas had thought he never get back again?'
As Lucas made his way thought he hospital parking lot and into the building a new unfamiliar feeling rushed over him, usually when he came here with Brooke he was excited and hopefully that it could be a day when something would change, that some type of progress would be made. He also felt happy that Brooke allowed him to be there with her, that she trusted him to help her through her hard times. Now as he made his way down the hall he felt unwanted and lost, and he didn't like it at all. He didn't like that Brooke had made him no longer a part of this and he couldn't understand why she was distancing her self from him. That though scared him the most, Lucas was able to get past the fact that even though he was in love with her, she only wanted to be his friend but the idea that she was trying to push him out of her life all together was something that he wasn't about to something he was going to let happen.
"Lucas?" came a voice from behind the desk in the lounge of the therapy office
"Dr. Fisher, hey," Lucas replied as he saw Brooke's doctor coming around the desk and making his way toward him.
"I was a little surprised when you didn't show up with Brooke today," Dr. fisher replied as he held out his hand to Lucas to shake hello, "but she told me you had other plans"
"Ugh, yeah," Lucas answered a little shock by what he had just heard, "but umm they ended a little sooner than I thought, so I came by to see if Brooke was still her. Is she," Lucas asked hoping with everything that she was.
"I believe she is just finishing up in the work-out room at the end of the hall actually," Dr. Fisher replied and noticed the relief in Lucas' face, "I am sure it would be okay if you made you way down there to make sure."
"Thanks," Lucas said without hesitation and started to make his way down the hall.
As he quickly scuffled down the hall Lucas tried to figure out what he was going to say to her exactly but he was drawing a blank. Everything he wanted to say to her were the things he thought he shouldn't keep secret, hidden inside his heart. 'I guess I'll just have to play it by ear he thought and then entered the room.
"Well, well, well," said the nurse who was helping Brooke up out her wheelchair and onto the platform the patients used to hold themselves up and try to elicit walking motion from onside to the next, "look who's here, we weren't expecting to see you here today Lucas," she said with a smile.
"I bet," Lucas, said sarcastically looking past the nurse and right at Brooke, who was looking down at the floor and avoiding his stare. The room was silent for a couple of seconds but than Brooke lifted her head and looked directly into his eyes.
"What are you doing here Lucas? I told you not to come and I meant it," Brooke said as cruelly as she could though it was killing her inside. She didn't want to have to push him away by hurting him, but it was all she knew to do, "Please leave!"
"No!
Brooke, this is crazy why are you doing this?" Lucas asked with
desperation in his voice and sadness in his eyes.
"I don't
know what you're talking about," Brooke lied
"Umm, maybe I should leave the two of you alone here," the nurse said starting to feel a little awkward in the middle of what seemed like an escalating argument, "are you okay standing here Brooke, or do you want me to help you back in your chair?"
"I fine," Brooke said not really listening to the nurse
"Okay, just holler if you need anything," she replied and she quickly left the room.
As soon as she left Brooke knew what she had to do and that was to get Lucas to leave, and not just leave the hospital but also leave her life. She couldn't do this anymore, the more she hurt him the more she hurt herself. It seemed that every moment he was near her she was falling more in love with all the things he did and all the things he said and she wouldn't let anything happen between them. Not again.
"I can't believe you would come here when I specifically asked you not to," Brooke shook her head, "I mean do my feelings mean nothing to you."
"Of course they do Brooke, I just don't understand why you feel you need to push me away. I just want to help you," Lucas replied
"Well you can't Lucas okay!" Brooke shouted getting more upset, " I am going to be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and there is nothing you can do to change that. Nothing you can do or say is ever going to get me up and walking again and that's it. That's why I need you to just let me do things on my own, if I am going to be stuck in this wheelchair I need to learn how to take care and do things for myself. I am the only person I have right now and I need to rely on me," Brooke said holding back tears and screaming at herself inside for telling him how she was hurting.
"But you don't Brooke, you don't have to do it by yourself," Lucas said making his way over towards her, without breaking the eye contact they had been holding for the last few minutes, "I want to help you, I want to be here for you."
"You can't!" Brooke said shaking her head
"Why not?" Lucas begged
"Because…because…."Brooke stammered
"Because why Brooke?" Lucas asked, "I don't get it I mean I try to do everything to let you know I am here of you, to let you know I care and it means nothing to you."
"No," Brooke blurted out, "your wrong Lucas, it means everything to me. Everything. And that's why I need to be away from you, that's why I need to do this for myself."
"I'm confused," Lucas said shaking his head in confusion
"You just don't get it Lucas," Brooke said,
"Get what?" Lucas begged her to let him in.
"I'm scared" Brooke whispered just loud enough for him to hear her
"Scared of what?" Lucas said reaching for her head.
"Of everything," Brooke cried, "I scared that I am going to be alone forever, that I am never going to walk again, that the dreams that I once had are never going to come true and I am scared…I'm scared to love you" and with that Brooke lost control of her body and the strength in her arms gave away, as she fell to the floor. Lucas instinctively reaches down and grabbed her before she hit the ground and the two of them fell, Brooke falling into Lucas' lap.
"Why Brooke?" Lucas question, "why are you afraid to love me."
"Lucas..." Brooke began, unsure if this was the right thing to do but giving into the emotions she was overtaken by, "my heart isn't as strong as you think it is, and I am not sure if I can take anymore of the bad. When you broke up with me I know it was because I wasn't the type of girl that you thought you were suppose to be with and now look at me. How can I expect you to love me when I am even more damaged than I was before? I can't take the risk of losing you twice Lucas, it would kill me."
"Brooke," Lucas said gentle grabbing her chin and lifting her eyes to his, "you are the most amazing person I have ever met. You're so strong and you have such an incredible heart and I was an idiot not to see that in you. When you gave me the chance to love you I blew it, and I can't ask you to do let me try again but you need to know that you weren't the one who wasn't good enough…. I was," and with that he leaned down and kissed her lips, softly at first but than more passionately. Brooke was a little taken back my Lucas's words that by the time the kiss came she had no fight left in her and she didn't resist him at all.
Brooke let Lucas kiss her for just a few more seconds and then she finally forced herself to pull away, "Lucas…"she said in a whisper, "I can't do this."
"I'm sorry," Lucas said turning away from her a little sad that the moment had to end, "I really don't want to push you Brooke," he replied softly.
"I know," she said looking up at him, "I just need some time, you know to think about things. About what I want and stuff."
"Yeah," Lucas said a little dismayed but agreeing with her as well, he wanted to be with her so much it hurt, but he wanted her to feel the same way about him too. "Come on," he said standing up from the ground and then reaching down wrapping his arms around her and lifting her back up into her chair, "I'm taking you home."
"Okay," Brooke agreed suddenly feeling completely and utterly drained.
Lucas got Brooke into the car and the two of them headed off back to his house, each of them with tons of questions running through their head, both to scared to speak. When Lucas pulled his truck into the driveway and parked it he turned to Brooke and realized that she had completely passed out. He smiled at her and stared at her small frame for a while taking in every thing he loved about her, she looked so peaceful and calm. As he opened the door and carried her into the house he tried his hardest not to wake her up, he walked into his bedroom and laid her down on the bed, softly covering her with the blanket that lay at the end. "I'll wait forever Brooke" he said out loud, and then moving down towards her he gently laid a light kiss on her forehead, "I'm not going anywhere this time." And with that he made his way out of the room and closed the door behind him.
As Brooke slept she tossed and turned, and woke up suddenly with a weird tingling feeling running down the back of her spine. She had this horrible feeling that something wasn't right and she began to panic.
"Lucas!" she shouted, his name just came out in instinct, and she turned herself up and around the side of her bed and reached out to grab her chair. Something was wrong.
But as Brooke leaned forward her feet pushed against the floor and a sharp pain sliced into Brookes left foot. "Ooww!" she cried and fell back down onto the bed.
"What is it Brooke?" Lucas said barging into the room, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"No," Brooke began to cry, "Lucas something is really wrong, my back hurts real bad and when I put my foot down on the ground I felt this pain rise up in it," she explained as she rubbed her back, "something isn't right…."
"Shit, Brooke" Lucas said looking down at Brookes foot and realized it was bleeding all over the floor. "Your foot is bleeding really bad here," Lucas lifted up Brookes foot to see what had caused it to start bleeding, "it looks like you stepped on some glass or something," he said a little confused.
"Glass?…Oh, it must have been from that stupid picture frame I broke," Brooke said forgetting that she had kind of kept that situation a secret from him.
"What picture frame?" Lucas questioned but when he began to look around noticed the picture of him and Brooke, "Oh yeah, that picture frame" he said a little embarrassed that he hadn't hid it away and obvious to that fact that Brooke had seen it.
"I didn't mean to break it, it just sort fell off and I meant to tell you but…" Brooke began to apologize but was than cut off.
"Wait a minute Brooke, "Lucas cut in, and began shaking his head like he was trying to figure something out.
"What?" Brooke asked a little confused by how he was reacting, 'its only a picture frame' she thought, 'I can buy him a new one if it's that big a deal.'
"When you stepped down and the glass cut you foot," Lucas started, "you felt it Brooke, you felt the glass cut your foot open."
"Oh my god," Brooke said suddenly clueing in.
"I think we need to get you to the hospital," Lucas said picking her up into his arms and walking right past her chair "We need to go now," he stated and Brooke had no time to argue.
As Brooke lay in the hospital bed clasping onto Lucas' hand she thought about all the things that the doctor could tell her when he came back with the test results. It could be good news, but than again with everything that had happen to her so far Brooke was betting that it wasn't. But than another thought passed through her mind as she looked down at the hand that was holding hers just as tightly as she was holding his, 'what would I do if he wasn't here? I would be completely alone right now.' The thought made her shudder. Than she looked up at his face, just as scared and full of questions as hers and she realized than just how much she really did mean to him.
"Lucas…." Brooke whispered quietly but was cut off by the opening of the hospital door and she looked to see Dr. Fisher entering the room.
"What's going on Dr.?" Lucas stood right up and begged with his eyes for Dr. Fisher to give them some good news, "Brooke, she okay right?"
"Well," the Dr. said looking over at Brooke, "we ran some tests and I have some good news and I have some bad news."
"I think I'll take the good news first," Brooke replied, "I might need some time before I hear anything else that might ruin my life."
"Okay than," Dr. Fisher smiled, "the good news is that it looks like the physical therapy and medication is doing its job. The swelling that we found in your lower back has gone down considerable and it looks as if it is going to continue too."
"What?" Brooke said a little shocked, "are you saying I can walk again?"
"Well, yes it looks that way," the dr. began, "but Brooke I want you to know that it is still going to take some time for you to get back up onto your feet again, and you are going to have to take it slow and keep up with the therapy."
"I can't believe it," Brooke said shaking her head in disbelief, " but wait a minute," Brooke said confused, "what's the bad news?"
"Oh right that…" the Dr. said looking down at his charts, "well you see…we're going to need you to get that wheel chair back to us as soon as possible or the hospital is going to charge you for it," he joked. And even though Brooke saw the joke as a little cruel and very corny she smiled anyways, nothing was going to bring her down right now.
"Brooke," Lucas said making his way over to her and grabbing he hand, "I'm so happy for you…" Lucas began to say but was over come with emotion.
"Come here," Brooke said pulling him forward and taking him into her arms, "thank you Lucas," she whispered into his ear, "you have done more for me than I ever thought possible, you kept me strong Luc."
Brooke and Lucas held each other for what seemed like an eternity until again the thudding of the room door opening interrupted them.
"Brooke darling," the women entering the room rushed over to the bed and grabbed Brooke in her arms.
"Mom?" Brooke said surprised and shocked at what she was seeing, "mom, what are you doing here?"
"What do you mean 'what am I doing here?' I am your mother and I heard that you were back in the hospital," Mrs. Davis exclaimed almost as if she was shocked by her daughter's reaction to her presence.
"I thought you and daddy had gone away?" Brooke said, "I mean you left me stranded all alone in a wheelchair mom, why did you feel the need to come back now?" Brooke said becoming upset again, if anyone could ruin a good moment it was her mom.
"I know darling, and when I got on the plane I realized what a horrible thing I was doing and when I got the call from Ms. Roe I was on the first flight back here," she said again taking Brooke in her arms, "I am going to take care of you sweetie I promise."
"Yeah know that I'm better," Brooke said sarcastically out loud making sure her mother heard the annoyance in her voice. But in usually Ms. Davis fashioned she pretend like she didn't hear it at all and carried on with her dramatic speech.
"I'm so glad you are doing better and I am so thankful to everyone who has helped you but now its my turn to take over, I am you mother," Ms. Davis stated, "now I am going to go talk to the Dr. and see when I can take you home." And with that she made her way out of the room.
"She's insane…" Brooke shook her head, "I give her a week and then she will be back out on the next flight to what ever exotic place my dad is doing business."
Lucas just shook his head and smiled down at Brooke, as he rubbed her leg assuring her that it was all going to be okay.
"At least this means that I can go home, right?" Brooke said a little saddened by the thought, "I mean I am sure your mom will be glad to have things go back to normal, and you as well. I know me and it will probably won't be hard getting things back to not, hell my own parents hardly miss me half the time" she laughed.
"I wouldn't say that," Lucas said looking down at her and realizing that she would be gone. No more hearing her singing in the washroom as she got ready in the morning, no more teasing each other at the kitchen table as they argued over the last piece of toast, no more of the way her smiled at him from across the room and the way it caught his breath. He was going to miss everything about her and it saddened him more than anything. He wasn't ready for her to go yet, he didn't want to lose her but he had said all he could and she had said nothing back, "I miss you already," he continued and with that he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.
Lucas sat down at the edge of his bed taking everything that had happen over the past couple of months, for some reason he had this feeling like I could have really all been a dream but in the deepest place in his heart he knew it hadn't been. He could tell from the little things around him that the events that had taken place were real. The pair of Brooke's earrings that she had left sitting by the sink in the bathroom, the way every time he walked into the room he could smell the slightest scent of her still in the air and the broken picture frame that still sat on the edge of his night stand. She may not be living with him anymore but there were pieces of her all around him, ones he prayed wouldn't disappear as well.
Lucas stood up from the side of the bed and grabbed the picture frame off the stand, staring at the picture of him and Brooke thinking about the words that they had said to each other in moments of passion and fear and those that had still yet to be spoken. As soon as Brooke was released from the hospital her mother had sent over her people to remove Brooke's stuff from the Roe residence, Lucas had to admit that it seemed like Mrs. Davis was going to keep her word this time and that was probably a good thing for Brooke. Yet, he couldn't help feeling that a piece of Brooke had now been taken away, a piece that he may never be able to get back. He loved being there for Brooke whenever she needed help with something. He loved the feeling that he had a place in her life but now that she had moved back home he no longer felt like he it was his place to take care of her. It seemed like anytime that Brooke took a step towards him there was something else pulling her back; maybe this was the way it was suppose to work out. Maybe he had had his chance with Brooke and he lost it. He remembered the day in the hospital when she had broke down in his arms, he remembered the pain and sadness in her eyes as she stuggled with how she felt towards him and he knew that she didn't deserve to feel that way ever again. But he also remembered that kiss, it said everything each of them wished they could say but feared to speak aloud. Lucas knew in that kiss that Brooke was what he wanted and nothing was going to change that, nothing. If he had to stand back and wait for her to realize the same things he already knew about their love then he would. As long as he waited there would always be hope that they would find there way back to each other.
Lucas was just about to set the picture frame down onto the desk when the alarm clock sitting on his dresser started blaring music. The alarm was set for 2:30pm and Lucas laughed to himself at the one more remembrance of Brooke, she had set the alarm to go off everyday a half hour before her therapy so that she had time to get ready for the hospital. He just stood there taking in the music and thinking about how she would always ask his opinion on what outfit to wear;
"Okay, so I've narrowed it down to the white and green juicy or the gray and yellow lululemon," Brooke had stated as Lucas walked into the room to see if she was anymore closer to being ready, "which outfit do you think would be better?"
"Are you serious, you're still trying to decided on an outfit," Lucas shook his head laughing, "it can't be that hard to pick something to wear to a hospital, it's not like it's a big event or anything."
"Lucas, I can't been seen out in public in just anything," she argued back "I could run into anyone and if I was caught in an ugly jumpsuit that would just be devastating."
"Who are you going to see at the hospital?" Lucas shot back
"I don't know," Brooke shrugged, "but that is no excuse to look bad!"
"Fine," Lucas gave in, it was obvious that he was not going to win this argument, "go with the lululemon, you look good in yellow"
"Great!" Brooke smiled at him, "that's the one I wanted to wear, give me five more minutes and I all yours"
Lucas just stood thinking about all the moments like that one that they had shared together completely forgetting the alarm was still going off, music playing softly around the room.
I
won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally
see
that you belong with me
you might think
I don't
look
but deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
"Mind if I cut in?" a voice from behind him interrupted Lucas' thoughts.
He didn't need to turn around and see who it was, he knew the voice the second her heard it and a large smile slowly crept across his face.
"Brooke, what are you doing here?" Lucas asked, not sure what else to say at that exact moment
"Well, I was unpacking my stuff this morning and I found this," Brooke passed him the sweater that she had pressed up against her when she walked into the room "it must have got thrown in with the rest of my stuff and so I figured I would come over and give it to you while I still remembered I had it."
"Oh, thanks," Lucas reached for the sweater lightly brushing Brookes arm as he took it. He was a little disappointed that this was the reason she had come over.
"Yeah well I didn't want you to think I was stealing it or anything," Brooke said feeling a little awkward at the silence that was between them yet it returned again, "Sooo…"
"Sooo…" Lucas said staring back at her; their eyes fixated open each other.
I'm
weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you
want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster
"Soo…" Brooke repeated again, Lucas was not going to make this easy she decided "I guess I should be heading back home, mom wants us to have dinner together, you know 'catch up' and stuff."
"Right," Lucas stood frozen just nodding his head "well thanks again for bring back my sweater," he was fighting every urge in him to go to over and take her in his arms, to smell her and feel her warmth around him.
"It was nothing, that's what friends do right," Brooke said. She started to turn around and head for the door but stopped herself. It was her turn now to say what she always wanted to but didn't know how and though it was going to take everything she had in her to come clean, she was going to do it.
"Lucas," she said turning around, finding him standing there in the exact same spot just staring at her with his big blue eyes, " Lucas…I'm a big fat liar!"
I've
waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats
true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with
you
all my life I've waited
this is true
"What?" Lucas was suddenly very confused
"I didn't come over here because you sweater was accidentally put in my bag," Brooke explained as she slowly walked towards him, closing the gap between them, "I shoved that sweater in my bag last week cause I really wanted to keep it."
"Then why did you bring it back?" Lucas shook his head and laughed, "I mean I probably would never have even realized it was gone"
"Because it was an excuse," Brooke replied quietly, her cheeks becoming slowly pinker
"An excuse for what?" Lucas asked, hope she was going to say something that he had been dying to hear forever."
"To see you," Brooke said in even a softer whisper, one that was barely understandable
"I'm sorry what did you say?" Lucas said leaning closer to Brooke with a sly look on his face, "I didn't quite catch that last bit."
"I brought the sweater back because it was an excuse to come and see you," Brooke replied, this time loud and clear, "I guess I just got so you to being around you all the time and honestly I really missed your face."
"I missed you face too," Lucas said taping her on the nose with his figure, "but Brooke you know you are free to come over here anytime and we can still hang out whenever you want. I mean we are…. Friends right?"
"Friends right," Brooke nodded in agreement, "that we are, you and me…. friends"
"Right" Lucas agreed
"But the thing is Lucas," Brooke continued, knowing that this was her now or never moment, that time when her next move would decide her and Lucas' fate when she walked out that door, "I don't want you to be my friend."
"What?" Lucas looked at her with a million questions running through his head, 'what was she talking about, why was she pushing him away again?' Lucas struggled for something to say to her, "I don't understand, I mean I thought that you wanted to try and be friends with me again. Brooke I know I hurt you and I am so sorry but please don't shut me out of you life completely, I need you to me in my life and that means in any way."
"Lucas, you don't understand," Brooke started to begin to explain herself but was cut off by Lucas who was obviously very upset.
"Then explain it to be Brooke," Lucas pleaded with her, "because I really don't understand how we are all the way back to the beginning again, after everything we have been through."
"That's just it Lucas," Brooke said calmly taking Lucas' hand in hers, trying to come him down as she explained what she was trying to say from the beginning, "you were right when you said that there is no way that we could go back to the way we were together when this whole thing started because so much as happened between us. When I said that I didn't want you to be my friend, what I was trying to say to you is that I don't want you to be my friend because what a really want more than anything in the world is for you to be something more.
Lucas things between us haven't always been good but what I realized over these past couple of months it that the bad stuff, as much as it hurt, it isn't even comparable to the greatness that we have shared."
you
don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm
afraid to move
I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to
know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me
"But I thought you weren't ready for that," Lucas said staring into Brookes eyes, trying to figure out exactly what she wanted before making another move.
"I still don't," Brooke said honestly, "but I do know that if I keep hiding…. I'm never going to find out either. Lucas, you make me feel like I am worth something. In you eyes I see everything that I could possibly be and what I have realized the most is that I want to be those things with you by my side, cause I might be able to do them without you but I don't want to. Lucas I want to be with you. And even though admitting that is one of the scariest things in the world for me to do I can't leave this room without you knowing that, because never know what we might have is even scarier."
Lucas just stood there for a moment taking it all in, every word that she had just said to him, "I can't believe this is happening," Lucas grinned, "Could you please pinch me."
"I can do one better," Brooke mischievously smiled as she moved in towards him and kissed him softly on the lips.
"Thank you for letting me in," Lucas whispered in her ear as they held onto each other as if afraid to let go, "I promise that I will never hurt you again."
"I know you won't," Brooke replied softly, kissing him again.
"I love you," Lucas replied looking down at her with the biggest smile on his face, and without any hesitation in her voice Brooke gentle said the same three words right back.
I've
waited all my life to cross this line I know when I
go
to the only thing thats
true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with
you
all my life I've waited
this is true
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true
