A/N: So this is my first ever fanfiction, actually my first ever piece of writing for anything that isn't for school, but I'm not new to fanfiction, I've been lurking in the fanfiction community since 2013, and yet I only signed up in 2016! I guess I was just too shy and nervous before. This fanfiction is inspired by The Marauder's Companion by Mibamonster, which was one of the first fanfics I read when I first started getting into them, and I loved it so much! You can't find it on the fanfiction website any more as it was deleted, maybe a couple of years ago? So yeah, that's where the idea came from. I hope you enjoy it.

'James?' Lily said tapping James on the shoulder,

'Uh, yeah Lily, hi.' James had quickly shot up from the sofa he had been occupying and resisted the urge to mess up his hair, a constant battle whenever he was near Lily.

'You'll never guess what I found in the library…'

So wait a minute Evans, explain this to me again.'

James had quickly grabbed the other marauders who had been sitting not far away, and they were now all gathered around a fireplace in the deserted common room.

'Well Sirius, it's a book-.'

'Yes I can see that Evans,' Sirius interrupted her whilst fidgeting with his shirt.

'I hadn't finished Black.' Lily said, a little narked, 'I found it in this really strange restricted section of the library, and it seems to me to be about us, like I think they call it fanfiction in the front here, and they are actually stories about us.'

'Hand it over then,'

'Oi, Sirius!' Lily said as Sirius grabbed the book out of her hands, flicking through the pages of the large leather bound book.

Mothers, Malfoys and Mayhem Rated K+ - English – Family/Angst – Chapter's 1 – Pub – 2m ago – Lily Evans P. – Lucius M. – Abraxas M. Lily finds out a terrible secret that in turn leads her back to the Mafloy's, endless questions and eventually answers? OOC/AU OC.

'What's OOC, or AU or OC, for that matter,' Lily asked, confused.

'I think OC means Original Character,' Remus said, before blushing slightly as everyone turned to look at him, 'No idea about the others though.'

'How do you know?' Peter asked, looking at him with some curiosity.

'I like Star Trek and it's in, oh never mind, they call it fanfiction, what does the first page say, what would the canon be?' Remus said, looking away and frowning slightly, which he did when deep in thought.

'I'm sorry but what is fanfiction, I've never heard of it, and why have they got stories about, - you said us Lily -, slightly creepy don't you think?' James asked.

Remus answered immediately 'Fanfiction is, um, if a book, or tv series or something, was made about us, then other people would write stories about it, based around the original story and using mainly the main characters, but write it differently, maybe different scenarios, or from a different character's outlook. So if it was a book written about, I don't know, us pranking or something,' he pointed to himself and the three other marauders, 'then they would write it from McGonagall's point of view, or if it was based in 3rd year, then skip ahead to after we've left Hogwarts. Does that make sense?'

The others nodded, although still looked slightly confused.

'So a book or film, or whatever, about us?' James said, a slight smile making its way onto his face

'Well it tends to be books Prongs, more characters, and scope for change and stuff. I've seen a couple of Great Expectations fanfics.'

'What does it say in the front Padfoot?' Peter asked, leaning over his chair to try and get a better look.

'It says at the front,' he coughed slightly before saying a loud, booming voice, 'A Collection of some of the best, weirdest, sweetest and worst of all fanfiction written about the Marauders mainly, however we do have some of the best/worst of the Golden Trio era etc. Then it says at the bottom, original 7 books written by J. K. Rowling, about Harry Potter, and some other piffle.'

'Do you know a Harry Potter, James?' Lily asked

'No I don't, must be a relation I suppose or it wouldn't include the Marauders would it, I wonder.' James said and rubbed his cheek.

'So they're mostly stories about us? Well I'd quite like to read a few, what about everybody else?' Sirius looked around at the others.

'Yeah, I'm interested, obviously they won't be exactly the same as us as we're not reading the canon-.'

'Canon?' James asked

'Oh Canon would be the original books, those written by J. K. Rowling, so they won't be completely accurate, but they should be quite cool, we might find out stuff,' Remus looked down at the book, it emitted a strange magical aura, 'about, well why don't we read a few.'

'I'm amenable.' Lily said, she looked around, and was thankful that the common room was empty.

'Ok then, let's go back to that one about you and Malfoy then.' So Sirius opened the book to where he'd left off, and began reading.

Lily woke up and felt herself.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, 'That a regular thing you do in the morning Evans?'

'Shut up Sirius.' Lily said, 'Besides that's not what the writer meant.'

Something felt different today, and then she realised,

'I hate when writers do that, start it when they wake up, and then they "suddenly realise something".' Disgust filtered Remus' tone.

today was her 17th birthday, she had come of age in the Wizarding World, not to mention she could now drive a car.

'Car?' James looked at Lily with curiosity.

'Well they are kind of li- oh don't worry James, I'll explain it later.' James nodded, happy at the prospect of further conversation with Lily.

Although Petunia still insisted at scoffing every time Lily mentioned the fact that the Wizarding World aged up sooner than the muggle one, that didn't stop Lily from feeling something different was going to happen today, something life-changing.

'God that's such shitty foreshadowing.' Lily rolled her eyes

She got up out of her old creaky, low bed, that

'Which.' Remus twitched slightly.

her parents had been too poor to replace, she stepped over to her second hand dressing table,

'My parents aren't that poor.' Lily said, 'that can't be canon, my mum is a nurse, and my dad works in banking. We're not rich but we're not dirt poor.' She rolled her eyes.

'I think the author's trying to be dramatic, you know poor girl gets swept off her feet…' James said

'Ssh.' Sirius looked annoyed, 'you're interrupting my fabulous reading.'

and sat down, when she looked in the mirror, and screamed.

'That's a bit dramatic, I don't look that bad in the morning.' Lily joked.

'I'm sure James would like to find out.' Sirius said, then wiggled his eyebrows.

Lily rolled her eyes, 'you're about as subtle as a brick in the face, Black.'

Her parents were scraping by at work, and Petunia was out somewhere with Whale-boy,

Lily burst out laughing, 'I like that, that's such a good name for him!'

'Err Lily, what are you talking about.' James asked

'Petunia, my sister's, boyfriend, Vernon. Oh god he's such a pompous git.'

so no-one heard her screams, apart from the neighbours.

After 5 minutes Lily was calm well as calm as one could be in a situation like this.

'Dramatic aren't I.' Lily said wryly.

She looked at herself and saw…

Sirius paused.

'Uh, Padfoot what are you doing.' James said, looking at him strangely.

'There was an ellipsis I'm pausing for dramatic effect James, dramatic effect!'

White blonde hair, hard grey eyes, a pointed face and nose,

'What?' Peter's eyes widened, 'what the hell.'

a pale complexion devoid of any of her previous blasted freckles,

'Hey!' Lily touched her face, giving her cheeks, which had a light dusting of freckles, a rub. 'My freckles are fine thank you.'

James, never shy of an opportunity to compliment Lily, 'I happen to think your freckles look very pretty.'

Lily blushed slightly, a constant curse with such pale skin, she was still not quite used to James' constant compliments, especially knowing he fancied her… 'Uh, thanks James.' She said, before gesturing for Sirius to continue.

Her previously tiny boobs had gotten to at least a D-cup

Lily interrupted yet again, 'what has this author got against my body? First my face and now my breasts. They're not that small!'

and she was at least half a foot taller,

Remus rolled his eyes, 'and now you're 6 foot Lily. My if I didn't know better I'd almost say this isn't Lily, considering she looks nothing like Lily, and hasn't, so far, acted anything like the Lily we know. Who the hell writes these stories? Also, what's the canon that inspires, this?'

Sirius glared at everyone, 'Stop interrupting!'

Suddenly an apparition appeared, then two more apparated.

'An apparition? God that's shitty. Suddenly a ghost appeared did they?' Remus sighed.

'Picky today aren't we Moony.' Sirius said before continuing.

It was Lucius Malfoy, who she remembers

'Remembered.' Remus interrupted yet again, becoming increasingly annoyed at the grammar, he had just let got used to it, but switching tenses was just too much to let slide.

from school, Abraxas Malfoy, his infamous father, and his mother whom she had once heard the mighty LORD Sirius Black speak of,

'Lord Sirius? God you aren't half a suck up in this Lily.' James said

'Oh no James, I'm the mighty Lord Sirius, you shall all bow before my awesomeness.' Sirius said, before spreading his arms out like wings, 'come bask in my glory!'

Remus, deciding to do what he normally did, and ignore Sirius, 'do you think the writer knows that we don't have titles in the Magical world, you know, at all?'

Peter, who had been reading ahead over the shoulder of Sirius, said. 'Uh, I'm not sure this author has the best grip on reality, or the canon books for that matter.'

she was a relative of his, Reticulum Black,

'WHAT!' Sirius yelled, fighting hard to control his laughter. The rest of the group however had no compunction with laughing, and went into a giggling fit.

'Not even my family would name a child Reticulum, that's just begging to be nicknamed Rectum.'

This caused another bout of giggles between the others, Sirius, who was hiding a smile, muttered 'children.' Before continuing.

named after the small and faint constellation of the Sky of the South.

'That sudden change of prose is very tacky.' James said, however he wasn't as annoyed as he sounded as Lily, who had still not controlled herself, was clutching to his frame, laughing.

Reticulum had tears in her eyes, and rushed to approach Lily, she was sobbing and clasped her arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder. Lily was so shocked by this that she let herself be hugged by this random stranger.

She patted her on the back 'There, there.'

'I'm not very good at this comforting am I?'

'I'm surprised you've taken it so well really, 3 pureblood supremacists suddenly appear in your room, whilst you're still in your pyjamas probably, I'm surprised you haven't screamed blue murder.' Remus said, who was staring at the book in Sirius' hands with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion.

'It's all very strange isn't it, who thinks of these things?' James asked.

'It's clever really isn't it, the muggle-born has just turned 17 the trace has just been lifted, they're confused, waking up on their birthday, and BAM! In come the death-eaters and kill them, with the ministry none the wiser.' Peter got some strange looks from the rest of them, 'I was just saying it's clever, oh never mind.'

This however made her sob more, and cry, muffled into her shoulder 'You've turned out so well, considering.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' Lily said, looking angry, 'that because I'm a muggle-born automatically I'm scum with no manners?'

At this point Abraxas Mafloy had decided that enough was enough, and took his wife by the arm and put her down on the bed, which almost broke.

Lily rolled her eyes, annoyed at the constant clichés of muggleborn poorness. I mean God, she was not that poor.

'I suppose you will be wondering why we are here.' Abraxas said.

Lily had to admit that she had not been very curious, so settled for a bemused nod.

'Good God how stupid am I in this thing?' she started shouting at the book, 'you should be curious, 3 random people have apparated into your room, and you are just accepting it as normal. Do you have no intellectual curiosity? This cannot be me.'

'I agree,' James said, as Lily gave him an approving smile, 'she just isn't acting very Lily-like, are we sure it's her?'

'Exactly!' Lily said animatedly.

Remus interjected, 'Am I a terrible person if I point out that bemused is not the word s/he meant there. Bemuse actually means to be puzzled, confused or bewildered. Perplexed is a synonym people! Another thing, how can you nod bemusedly?'

'Wow calm down mate,' Peter laughed and patted an annoyed looking Remus on the shoulder, 'you know I didn't even know that bemused meant-'

'Yeah me too.' James said

'That is because you are all a bunch of unintellectual low-lifers, now may I con-' Sirius was interrupted by Remus.

'Yeah a lot of people think that, no idea why, I think it just sounds right, you know?'

'Well you see Ar-Lily, you are our daughter.'

'Woah, woah woah, wait a second Mister. You invade my bedroom, while I'm still in my nightclothes, sneer at my surroundings and then expect me to believe I'm your daughter? Yeah, sounds about right mate.'

'What even is this? You, their daughter, just what? There are no words for how strange this is.' James said

'As if the Malfoys would have a daughter anyway. They have this thing about only having one son, proper crazy, although that describes most purebloods.'

'You are pureblood Sirius.' Peter said.

'Takes one to know one.'

He paused as if waiting for Lily to day something but Lily gestured on. She knew something like this would happen she had always been different and special

'And I just accept it?'

'What type of crazy are you in this story Evans. Come to think of it you might be related to the Malfoys!' Sirius said

'Why am I so damn arrogant in this? Always been different and special? What the hell.'

but this? She hated the Malfoy family.

'As any sane person would. Hmm, maybe you're not related to them after all Evans.'

'Well at least something's consistent,' Lily said grumpily.

'Why I am afraid that me, that is to say your mother and I, or you could call us Abbie and Rettie

Sirius stopped reading, as he had broken down into a giggling fit, every few seconds he would repeat Abbie, with both incredulity and awe, trying to imagine the stern and ill-tempered bullfrog Abraxas Malfoy, being called Abbie by anyone.

if you prefer, had to leave you in conditions as dissimilar from our own as we could so you could appear a mudblood,

They all cringed at the use of the word mudblood.

'Why would he use that word, now, of all times?' James said angrily, 'why is the author just throwing it around? It's serious, words have meanings.'

'Uh, why though?' Peter said, 'that whole "dissimilar environment thing" makes literally no sense. What reason could they possibly have for that, apart from being horrible parents?'

but now you are 16,

'17.' Remus interrupted automatically, 'God that's tacky.'

'Will everyone stop interrupting!'

we can bring you back into our fold, you see your real name is Ara Gemini Domitilla Lilliannae Malfoy.

'What?' Lily spluttered, 'how is that even a name? Lilliannae what the hell? And Domitilla's Latin, just WHAT IS THAT COLLECTION OF, well they're not even names.'

'That's purebloods for you, as Reticulum,' Sirius hid a smile badly, 'is a Black a constellation would make sense, but Gemini is so obvious.'

'You're such a snob.' James said fondly.

We put a disillusionment charm on you so that you would appear normal,

'That is absolutely not how disillusionment charms work, they make you invisible people!' Remus said, getting more annoyed with every word.

'S/he must mean transfiguration, although keeping it sustained for that long, and while Lily grows would be difficult, if not impossible, unless they kept meeting to 'top her up' so to speak.' James frowned slightly, trying to think of how it would work, not to mention how it could suddenly vanish on her 17th birthday.

but now my dear child you can return with us to Malfoy Manor.'

'So although we've just met, we're your new family, come with us and abandon your old ones.' James said.

'That's about the shape and the size of it yeah.' Peter said.

'God I just come across so well in this piece.'

'But why father.'

Lily threw her arms up in despair, 'and what now I'm suddenly calling him father?'

'You were imprisoned here because of the curse of Shah…'

'What imprisoned there. I thought they put her there of their own free will. What even is this story?' James asked, giving the leather bound book a strange look.

So who do you think that mysterious stranger was, R/R! Lots of Love xxxxxxxxxxx MissDramioneLucily

'What mysterious stranger?' Peter asked.

'I think they mean this Shah person.' Remus said, not looking entirely sure.

'To think I thought your name was bad Sirius, imagine being called Dramione Lucily, sounds horrific.' Lily said, 'well that was a strange excursion.'

Sirius flicked through some pages of the book, 'I don't know I find the whole idea rather intriguing, we can hardly judge by just one can we?'

'It was so strange though Sirius, what must the canon be like, to inspire this?' Lily said

'I don't know, just because there are a few bad apples, doesn't mean the whole crate's rotten, although maybe one slightly different this time.' James said

'Not to mention better written.' Remus agreed.

Swayed by their arguments, and half curious herself as to what these might contain, Lily agreed, 'only if you let me chose the next one though.'

I'd just like to say, as well, that this isn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, in terms of the making fun of bad fanfics, and grammar etc. I love that this website is so diverse and interesting, but I just thought I'd poke fun at some of the clichés in fanfics, however I'd also like to branch out, in terms of having them react to good fanfiction (although good might be subjective as I have to write it!), but anyway that's enough of me babbling away! I have a couple more fanfics ideas planned out, but do let me know if you have anything you want to see. Let me know if you notice any spelling/grammar mistakes, please!