Ok, this is my first ever attempt at fanfic or even at writing anything at all so I'd really appreciate any feedback, reviews etc that you care to give. Should I continue the story or give up now and go back to reading fanfic only? Any constructive feedback would be welcomed, wow I'm so nervous!

Disclaimer: While I am Australian, I'm not a man nor is my name Shane Brennan, soooo... not mine.

Detective Marty Deeks awoke with a start. Limbs tangled in sweat soaked sheets, he was glad only Monty witnessed his falling out of bed with an undignified thud. 'Damn it!' he said, running his fingers through his sweaty blonde hair frustrated, 'Again?'

He'd been having the same basic dream over and over for a little more than a year, ever since Hetty had told him his father was dead, with one notable exception. During the three weeks he had recently spent undercover posing as a married couple with his partner Kensi , he had been given a blessed reprieve from the haunting dreams.

He convinced himself that this was simply because sharing a bed with someone was somehow comforting on a subconscious level and had nothing to do with who he had been sharing the bed with. He mentally skated over the fact that the few times in the past year he'd brought home a girl the dreams had still come. He wasn't ready to acknowledge that it may have been Kensi herself that kept the dreams away, those types of thoughts led down twisty and complicated paths that he couldn't deal with right now.

Monty whimpered concerned to see his master so distressed. Deeks looked over at his beloved companion, softening his voice to reassure the old dog 'I'm okay Monty, it was just a dream, just a dream', he tried to reassure himself at the same time. Monty licked Deeks' face startling a laugh out of the man and ran into the kitchen in a clear request for breakfast.

'Okay, okay, I hear you', Deeks untangled the last of himself from the damp sheets and followed Monty into the kitchen. Feeding Monty he watched the dog gobble the food thinking. Now he was awake standing in the grey light indicating dawn was near, it was easy to reassure himself it was just a dream.

It was vivid and realistic, but then it was every time the dream repeated itself in the night, like some kind of sick movie on a constant repeat. Shaking himself out of his reverie he decided a quick surf was in order. It would be just what he needed to shake the lingering memories of the dream and prepare for the day ahead.

Deeks breathed a sigh of relief as the foamy waves washed around his ankles, he was home. The salt and seaweed smell in the air, rough sand underfoot and the tide pulling at his body beckoning him further into the sea made everything else wash away. The sheer magnitude and force of the great Pacific ocean put everything in perspective, he was but one small part of a much greater whole and the problems that seemed so insurmountable before now looked a little more realistic.

Surfing calmed his mind and allowed him the focus to prepare for the day ahead. If he wasn't concentrating Mother Nature had no problem dumping him off his board into the rough sea, it was a lesson he learnt well and took seriously, in his line of work if he wasn't focused it could but people he loved in danger even killed. People he loved like a family of course.

This train of thought led inevitably to Kensi. He busily tried to rationalise that he thought of her like a sister 'wait no, maybe not a sister, I don't think it's right to remember lingering cover kisses with sisters quite like that', okay friend, she was a really good friend, 'hmm, I don't really tend to flirt so much with friends, nor do I worry about them so much nor want to make them happy...crap!'.

Deeks paid for his wandering attention by getting dumped head-first into turbulent water. Spluttering up a mouthful of seawater he shook out his shaggy hair and mentally settled on 'Partner, I care about her like a partner'. Focused once again on his surroundings he decided to head home. The sun was now will above the horizon and if he wanted to shower before work he really should head back now.

Reaching the beach he pulled his cell phone out of his 'bro-bag' and checked for any missed calls. There was one from OPS and one from Kensi, he wasn't yet late for work so he knew something must be going on. 'Eric, what's up?' he asked after dialling OPS on the way back to his car.

'Deeks, we need you to come in ASAP, something's come up you need to see'

'Um, yeah ok, just give me half an hour to shower and get there?' Deeks said, calculating how long until he could get to the mission.

'Actually, Hetty says to make it sooner, you can shower here' Eric replied, his voice tense. There was something he wasn't saying.

'Eric what's this about? Is Kensi okay?' Deeks said concern clear in his voice, he tried to quell the rising panic in his chest, his thoughts immediately going to the other call he had missed.

'No, no Kensi's fine she was just calling to see if you wanted a ride, she's here already now, well not here in Ops here but like down in the bullpen here, I think she brought doughnuts. Don't you think it's weird how it's called a bullpen, I mean I wonder where that came from, I mean it doesn't really..'

'ERIC!' Deeks cut of his ramble mid sentence, 'Tell me whats going on or I'll tell Kensi you stole all her Twinkies!'

After a brief horrified silence Eric cleared his throat and said 'It's about your mother, the cold case into her murder has just been warmed up'.

OK, thats my attempt. Continue or don't bother? Please review and let me know