Sapphire
Pairing: Lotor/Shiro
Rating: G
Summary: In which Shiro approaches Lotor like one might a feral cat and gets a few pleasant results.
Author's Notes: Written because soft Shotor is my jam and I needed to get this out before season 5 destroys me.
Shiro loves cats. He always has. Some of his earliest memories include checking out every feline-themed book he could get his hands on, marveling at every picture (photographs and drawings alike) and memorizing every riveting fact he could. He could never learn enough. From the rainforest wildcats to the domestic house cat, all the way to the prehistoric saber-tooth tiger, Shiro adored them all.
He and his parents never quite saw eye-to-eye about getting a cat of his own. However, they weren't opposed to Shiro taking table scraps to the backyard and feeding the homeless kitties around the neighborhood, and even went as far as to buy inexpensive cat food for him to give out after he learned that people food wasn't very good for his furry friends. When Shiro got a little older, he started volunteering at the local animal shelter, where his extensive knowledge of cats was put to the test and he learned how to take care of real-life, fluffy, purring kitty-cats.
Feeding strays and taking care of abandoned cats until someone special came along and gave them a good home made him happy, but it wasn't the same as having a kitten of his own, one he imagined would curl up with him at night or take little cat naps in his lap while he did his homework, one he'd feed the 'fancier' brands of cat food - the kind the cats in those commercials seemed to like so much. But, with his parents unwilling to budge, Shiro had all but resigned himself to a catless home, until Sapphire came along.
Back then, Sapphire wasn't Sapphire, but a nameless, wounded alley cat brought in by animal control. At the time, Shiro had been so devastated about seeing a feline friend in such anguish that presently, he really only remembers way too much blood and how the shelter vets rushed around to save the poor cat, managing to do so in the nick of time. While the event itself isn't the clearest moment, Shiro recalls the weeks that followed in vivid detail. He reminisces how much time he'd spent helping Sapphire (the name he'd given the rescue cat after seeing him open his gorgeous blue eyes for the very first time) adjust to his new surroundings. He'd been the only one who would even go near Sapphire, and in turn, Sapphire eventually learned to trust him. At home, he talked about him so much that eventually, Sapphire was the one cat Shiro's parents welcomed into their home, where Shiro cherished him and gave him the best life possible until the very end.
He hadn't thought about Sapphire in a long time, but now, years later and billions of lightyears away from Earth, when he sees Lotor out of the corner of his eye, the disgraced Prince of the Galra Empire (who after careful consideration had been allowed refuge in the castleship) watching his team from afar with the same shade of cerulean Sapphire had, Shiro can't help it. He's reminded of how hostile and distant Sapphire used to be, and how it took a lot of time and patience to get him to open up and show his softer side that was desperate for some classic tender loving care.
While Lotor is most certainly not a cat, the similarities between his and Sapphire's behavior patterns are uncanny. Sapphire always had an air about him - one that suggested he'd been perpetually bored everything around him, looking out into the distance with a faraway gaze, like he was entirely unaware of his surroundings – when really it had been the exact opposite. Sapphire's apparent disinterest in the world may have fooled everyone else at the shelter, just like Lotor's doing now with the rest of the team, but neither of them gets passed Shiro's vigilance. Just like Sapphire had, Lotor has a subtle tell that would have gone completely unnoticed if Shiro hadn't been looking for it, but it's there, telling Shiro how acutely aware Lotor is of his surroundings.
With the comparisons Shiro easily makes between Lotor and his childhood pet, he can't help but think Lotor just needs a little trust thrown his way.
One day, Shiro looks over and catches Lotor's gaze. He's tempted to look away and pretend the incident holds no significance, but much to his dismay, Lotor remains as distrustful as ever, almost to the point where it's really starting to test Shiro's steadfast patience. He knows better than to expect anything from Lotor until he himself is ready, but with their current situation, Shiro can't afford to spend the time helping Lotor adapt like he did with Sapphire, and that's when he tries to take matters into his own hands. Keeping eye contact with Lotor, Shiro lets a few more ticks to pass before slowly closing his eyes and counting to five.
When he opens his eyes, the curiosity in Lotor's eyes is gone and replaced with confusion and a hint of something Shiro can't quite place. He thinks 'surprise' might be an appropriate answer, until Lotor's expression changes faster than a milli-tick, giving Shiro a look that suggests he's insulted his great ancestors before storming off without a word.
Shiro's not deterred by Lotor's reaction, however. He still has the utmost confidence that much like Sapphire, Lotor needs a little more time to get used to the castleship and his overall situation.
Small, seemingly insignificant interactions keep happening over the next several weeks. A slow eye blink there, ending 'mandatory' meetings earlier than usual when he could feel Lotor getting anxious, among other subtle gestures that go overlooked by everyone else. All the while, Lotor continues to acclimate and prove himself as the perfect ally, providing the team with invaluable (and accurate) intel that inevitably leads to several victories for Voltron.
But as far as growing comfortable with the team is concerned? That just isn't happening. Again, he has to remind himself that Lotor is not a cat, and certainly not someone to be tamed - he's a complex individual who's going to operate on his own terms and not adhere to Shiro's attempts at trying to show compassion through cat language. Eventually, he decides it's time to try a new tactic, only this time he has no idea where to start.
Awhile later, he finds himself in his room, rereading the same line of a book he's been trying to get through for a few phoebs. As much he tries to focus and make some progress, he can't. His eyes keep scanning the page, but the words aren't making sense anymore. Fatigue begins to settle over him, growing stronger by the second until he can hardly keep his eyes open. He's so tired that he can't be bothered to even set his book to the side before he lies down, letting his head hit the pillow with an inaudible thud. A content sigh escapes his lips as his muscles relax into the mattress; he's just about to succumb to sleep's alluring call, that is, until a sharp knock at his door jolts him back to a fully awakened state. Shiro's body acts on its own accord, pushing back on his arms until he's sitting up and running his fingers through his slightly jostled hair on instinct.
"Come in," he calls out, once he's certain he doesn't look like he's just dozed off. This is their time off and he knows there's no shame in letting anyone catch him like that, but it's an old habit of his, one he hasn't tried to break.
The door doesn't open. After a few seconds of silence, Shiro decides he must have imagined it, but when he tries to settle back down, he hears another knock, only this time it's a lot softer before, as if the other person on the other side is rethinking their decision to call upon him.
If a member of the team had been trying to get ahold of him they would've walked in after he'd given the 'okay', but the fact that whoever's on the other side hesitates means that it's someone else, and Shiro knows exactly who it is. A small smile plays upon his lips as he sets his book to the side before rolling out of bed and making the small trek across his room and over to the door. Allowing the door to slide open, his eyes settle on the man he'd begun to think might not come around after all.
"Can I help you with something?" Shiro does his absolute best to maintain a neutral, yet kind expression.
Lotor remains silent as he watches him with an intense gaze; Shiro senses those magnificent indigo, yet cold, wary eyes attempting to pierce through whatever facade Lotor believes he's trying to keep. "I thought you might want to know who was at your door before inviting me in," he answers him after a few ticks, his expression softening, as if to indicate Shiro's passed his test.
Shiro steps aside, still holding the door open for Lotor. "The offer stands."
Lotor gives him a curt nod, but doesn't say another word as he steps forward and crosses the threshold into Shiro's room. Letting the door shut behind him, Shiro follows Lotor further into his room before sitting back down on his bed, attempting to convey a comforting atmosphere that might put Lotor at ease.
"You look exhausted," Shiro notes quietly, despite his better judgment.
"I am," Lotor admits in a low, quiet voice. That's when Shiro takes a second really look at Lotor and sees his current state isn't a simple case of one bad night's sleep, but rather, a chronic condition that's been going on for movements, perhaps even phoebs, long before he'd approached the coalition for an alliance. Lotor had never spoken about himself or approached anyone, and now that he seems to be trying, Shiro finds himself at a loss. Even so, a small part of him had been waiting for this, and he's all but determined to get this right.
"With everything going on we don't get the opportunity to relax much," Shiro begins, picking up his book and pushing himself further back on the bed until his back hits the wall. "I was taking advantage of the spare time with some reading, you're welcome to join if you'd like."
Lotor tilts his head to the side, his gaze shifting back and forth between Shiro, the book, and the floor. "I'm not sure I can read your language," Lotor says after a few ticks as his eyes settle on the floor, making Shiro think he might be embarrassed to admit any sort of knowledge eludes him.
Shiro figures as much, but that doesn't mean Lotor can't join him if he wishes. "I could read to you?"
Lotor still refuses to meet his gaze and remains trained on the ground. He looks so fixated on one spot that Shiro can't help but follow his eyes down to the same area on the floor too, just to make sure he's not missing anything that hadn't been there before.
"Maybe for a little bit," Lotor whispers. He finally looks up at Shiro and takes a hesitant step towards the bed. His next step as slow as before, but more deliberate once Shiro gives him a gentle, reassuring smile.
"Sure, no problem," Shiro replies with ease before reopening his book. Scanning the page for a tick, Shiro finds where he left off and begins reading. He gets through a few pages before feeling a dip in his mattress, but he dares not look away from his readings, and carries on, stopping only to flip the page until coming to the end of the chapter.
"You have a nice voice," Lotor speaks in a calm voice, and only then does Shiro allow his gaze to drift away from the book and over to Lotor, who's lying on his side right next to him, using his arm as a makeshift pillow and looking far more relaxed than he's ever seen him.
At this point, Shiro's powerless to stop himself. Going against every voice in his mind that screams at him to 'STOP' and 'ABORT MISSION', Shiro reaches out with his left hand, taking supreme caution in letting his fingers brush over the long, snow white hair that travels down Lotor's back. His touch is so simple and delicate, yet it still puts Lotor on edge, causing his entire body to go rigid as he stares down Shiro's hand with narrowed eyes.
"I'm sorry." Shiro retracts his hand quickly, realizing he'd overstepped his boundaries far too late.
To his surprise, Lotor simply blinks before settling back down without any fuss. "I didn't tell you to stop."
No, Lotor's not a cat, even if his attitude makes him seem like he is one. "You've been through a lot, haven't you?"
"And you haven't?" Lotor keeps a close eye on him as his hand returns to Lotor's hair, and now that Shiro has explicit permission, he silently relishes in how soft it is while Lotor continues to speak. "I know you're the infamous Champion they still talk about in the arena." Shiro feels Lotor's body go completely lax under his touch, and he realizes they've finally reached some common ground.
"What were you doing in the arena?" Shiro's not sure he has the right to ask such a thing, but he can't help it.
A mirthless laugh escapes Lotor's lips. "This isn't the first time I've had a 'falling out' with my parents."
Shiro's hand freezes in Lotor's hair. "They did that to you?"
"You seem surprised." Lotor remains as nonchalant as ever, and it's clear that he doesn't understand why Shiro would find that alarming, or why he'd even care. "I'm not trying to garner your sympathy, pala- Shiro." The shock that holds onto his heart with a vice grip begins to ebb away upon hearing his name pass through Lotor's lips.
"It's just how it is." It's not the sort of answer Shiro would normally accept, but he understands that Lotor's words are a direct result of the culture Lotor's grown up with. Shiro's not allowed to dwell on that, however, not when Lotor's looking up at him with expectant eyes. It takes a tick for Shiro to figure out what Lotor wants, but once he does, his hand resumes its earlier ministrations, and to his surprise, eliciting the softest purr Shiro's ever heard from Lotor's throat.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Shiro has no intention of pushing too far, but he feels emboldened by his small victory and decides it can't hurt to ask.
Lotor doesn't respond, but a note of inquiry that Shiro's becoming rather familiar with glitters in his eyes, making his question all too obvious.
"I know it's hard, but sometimes talking things out can help, especially with someone who might be able to understand." Deft fingers continue to brush through velvet hair, trying to soothe Lotor; Shiro hopes he understands that he's safe, at least in here, where Shiro can protect him.
"Does it help you?" Lotor asks, failing to suppress a yawn as he speaks. His eyes still hold a trace of skepticism, but the desire to let his barriers down and feel like he can trust someone again shines through, and Shiro wants so much to give him that peace of mind.
"It's better when the person can relate a bit, but yes." His hand deviates from the hair he's been caressing over Lotor's shoulders to sweep his forelock behind his ear - his fingertips accidentally graze against Lotor's skin, leaving him with a strange sensation he can't explain.
Lotor only turns his head once before the forelock comes loose. He's adorable, Shiro thinks to himself mirroring the warm smile Lotor gives him as he leans into Shiro's touch. "Perhaps later."
It's a start, but Shiro's more than willing to accept it.
"Would you like me to keep reading?" Shiro suggests, graciously relishing in his victory while his hand wanders back into Lotor's long hair.
"Please?"
Shiro strains to hear Lotor's soft request; he's all but certain Lotor will fall asleep any tick now, but he's still more than happy to oblige him. The smile playing upon his lips softens as he takes the book back up and sets it in his lap so he can comfortably read with one hand while his other continues to indulge in Lotor's silky hair.
It takes longer than he thought it would - Shiro manages to get through half of the new chapter before Lotor's breathing evens out and his body relaxes, and only then does he realize that he's curled himself up around Shiro's legs.
"We can pick it up later," Shiro chuckles quietly as he sets the book back on the nearby nightstand, shifting a bit so he can rest more comfortably while still petting Lotor's hair, as if ceasing the action would disturb Lotor's slumber.
Seeing Lotor at ease like this brings Shiro an odd, yet welcomed sense of serenity, just like Sapphire used to when he needed comfort. They still have a long way to go, but it's more than enough for Shiro to cling to. He finally allows his eyes to close, keeping his fingers buried in Lotor's soft hair as he drifts to sleep too.