Introduction: For those of you who have followed my previous work, this is not the new series I have been working on (though that one's coming along nicely and will be up within the month I hope). This is a story I sat down and wrote one Friday afternoon when I got some ideas into my head that I wanted to explore. I've always wondered about Frodo's years at Brandy Hall and his connection to Merry. In the early chapters of the book it seems that Frodo and Merry are very good friends, but since they are separated later in the books we find out little more about it. This story is basically my take on how Frodo lived his life after being orphaned, how he got to be friends with Merry and how that might have changed when Pippin came into their lives. It's a bit long, and it jumps back and forth in time, but I hope it will be easy to follow and a good read. It also focuses mainly on Frodo, which is a new thing for me. Unfortunately it might mean the characterization is way off, so Frodo fans, have mercy! I also portrayed him as quite childlike in his early teens. Since Hobbits could live for over 100 years I figured they matured a bit slower than humans.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, though since I am not using them for profit I hope I can be forgiven.
Special thanks: Erestor provided me with some information on Frodo, thanks a million!
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Frodo Baggins sat in the corner of the room, making himself as small as he could. Not that he didn't want anybody to notice him, but he didn't want to be in the way. Nobody seemed to have time or interest in him at the moment, and it had been like this all day.
His cousin Saradoc Brandybuck, 28 years his senior and feeling more like an uncle than a cousin, sat in an armchair by the fireplace reading a book and looking slightly bored. Every so often he would yawn and stretch and Frodo half expected him to go to sleep at any minute. Cousin Saradoc had been sitting in that chair when Frodo came into the sitting room after second breakfast and even though it was getting time for afternoon tea he had still not moved other than to go have something to eat.
Frodo's other cousin, Merrimac, had been there earlier in the day, playing with his little son Berilac on the big rug by the fireplace. Frodo liked Merrimac, but he never seemed to have the time to talk to the fourteen year-old Hobbit who was the only Baggins living at Brandy Hall. Merrimac spent most of his time out on the Brandywine River when he wasn't looking after little Berilac, and Frodo was not so keen on going down there.
Though he had lived at Brandy Hall all of his life Frodo still felt a bit like a stranger there. He had been moved around a lot, first from the rooms where his parents had lived to a number of different rooms until the decision was made to move him to the Master Halls. Truth be told he didn't feel quite at home in the large Smial which was the home to nearly a hundred Hobbits. There was little room for any privacy, even in private halls, and the place never seemed completely silent. Frodo had made up his mind that when he was old enough he would earn money and buy himself a house where he could live in peace and quiet.
Right now though he had to admit that Brandy Hall was quiet. At least these halls were. The only sound heard was the ticking of the clock and Cousin Saradoc turning the pages or yawning. Every now and then Uncle Rorimac, the Master of Buckland and Saradoc's father, would come into the room and pace front and back before the fireplace until Cousin Saradoc gave him a glare and asked him what he was pacing about for.
"Why does it take so long?" Rory would say, answering the question with a question.
"Settle down" Saradoc would calmly say and turn a page in his book.
"You ought to be the one having a hard time settling down" Rorimac would reply and leave the room in a hurry.
This scene was repeated on an hourly basis. It was during one of these scenes that Rorimac had told Cousin Merrimac to leave the room and go do more useful things. Frodo kept waiting for the Master to order him out of the room as well but Rorimac didn't even seem to notice that Frodo was there. Saradoc doubtlessly knew but he didn't say anything about it, as if he didn't care. Not that Frodo knew why it would matter; he was sitting there quietly and not disturbing anybody. He was quite bored, but at the same time he didn't want to leave. He spent most of his days in the sitting room, playing or reading some book, it was one of the few rooms he felt really at home in. It was one of the few rooms where everything seemed to be peaceful.
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Frodo's first memory was from when he was two years old and his mother insisted upon that he wore a vest. It was a fine occasion and fine dressing was required, but the young Frodo had been in the phase commonly referred to as the "two year terror" and blankly refused to wear the vest. His mother had struggled with him for quite some time, then his father had come to try his hand at it but neither had succeeded. One hour and five relatives later his Uncle Rorimac had ordered him to wear the vest in his best Master-of-Buckland voice and Frodo had been too scared not to do as he was told.
The occasion, he had learned when he got older, had been the wedding between Rorimac's oldest son and heir, Saradoc, and Esmeralda Took, youngest daughter of Adalgrim Took, cousin to Fortinbras II who was The Took and Thain of Tuckburough. The marriage was an arrangement which Rorimac and Adalgrim were both very pleased with, especially Adalgrim whose daughter would be climbing up a notch in the social latter.
The two marrying youngsters however were not as pleased, something that nobody ever told Frodo but he had no trouble seeing. Saradoc had little liking for the Tooks, they were queer and adventurous and he didn't want any part of such nonsense. To make matters worse his bride was related to the Thain but not as closely as Saradoc felt proper, if he had to marry a Took it could at least be a first hand relative to the only member of the Took family he could put up with. But Fortinbras only had a son, which in Saradoc's mind was a good reason not to marry into the Tooks at all, but in his father's mind meant he should settle for one of Adalgrim's daughters. To top it all off Esmeralda was four years older than him, Saradoc could not stand the thought of having to have a wife who was older than he was. In his mind that was horribly backwards, although his father told him he was old-fashioned and should stop complaining and do as he was told.
Esmeralda on her part was no more pleased with having to marry a four years younger Brandybuck, for everybody knew how queer the Brandybucks were. Not only did they spend far too much time out on the Brandywine River, they lived close to the town of Bree and to the Old Forest. They even went in to the Old Forest sometimes, a fact that was just too queer to handle. It was no consolation in Esmeralda's eyes that her future husband was one day going to be Master of Buckland. All that meant was that he was likely to be stuck up and think highly of himself, an indoor Hobbit who probably only stuck his nose outside the door to take a swim in the Brandywine or climb a tree in the Old Forest. Not that Esmeralda knew if the Brandybucks were queer enough to climb trees, but one could only guess! Esmeralda was a farmer's daughter and used to an honest day's work and spending a lot of time outside. Being the Madam of some hall was hardly what she had in mind for her future, organising the workload for others and never doing anything more exciting than mending a shirt for her darling husband or knitting socks for a whole pack of Brandybuck brats.
But at least there was a happy couple of parents present at the wedding, and one Frodo Baggins wearing a vest. Frodo had been told when he was older that in the middle of the ceremony he had grown tired of sitting still and shrieked at the top of his lungs. Though she never told him as much, Esmeralda knew she had liked him from that particular instant.
Against all protests, both from the young couple and the bored two year-old, Saradoc Brandybuck and Esmeralda Took had become husband and wife in the year 1370, and all of Brandy Hall, with Master Rorimac at head, began to anxiously await the arrival of Saradoc's heir. Ten years later they had all stopped waiting, drawing the conclusion that one of the two love birds was unable to conceive with child, and with the arrival of the Master's younger son's firstborn son they all rejoiced in the knowledge that Buckland was secured for yet another generation, regardless of whether or not Saradoc had a son.
Saradoc and Esmeralda knew fully well what was expected of them, but neither did much to help things along the way. True, they had spent each night of their marriage sleeping in the same bed, but most of the time that was all they did. Saradoc did not appreciate the thought of having to have a child that was part Took, and Esmeralda felt the same way about having a child that was part Brandybuck. After ten years Rorimac gave them both a good telling off and ordered them to get working on an heir, and fast. That order made no wonders for the frosty relationship between husband and wife, but they kept silent and did as they were told.
Frodo, who had been twelve at the time, knew little of what was going on but knew enough to understand why his cousin Merrimac had a child on the way while Cousin Saradoc remained without any children. Through eavesdropping and a book written by one of the Brandy Hall medics he had found out what it took to conceive with child and it was no surprise to him that Saradoc and Esmeralda were still without children. The two put up with each other, but scarcely more.
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"What is taking so long?" Rorimac asked, waking Frodo up.
Frodo glanced at the clock. He had been asleep for only twenty minutes but if he hadn't been woken up now he would have missed afternoon tea. As soon as Rorimac had left again he would hurry to the kitchen and make sure he would not miss out on the lovely treats that would no doubt be served there. One of the perks of living at Brandy Hall was that Rorimac had continued the habit of his father and predecessor, to always keep the tables full of food.
"Settle down" Saradoc said and turned the page of his book.
"How you can be so settled down I'll never know" Rorimac growled. "Put that book aside and come eat something. And find young Frodo, I haven't seen him around all afternoon."
Frodo bit his lip and crawled as far back in his chair as he could get. Rorimac hadn't seen him there and would probably be mad to know he was present, but Saradoc knew for sure and now he would give Frodo away. He held his breath as the two older Hobbits began to leave the room, but to his surprise Saradoc walked right past him without as much as a glance in that direction. Puzzled Frodo began to wonder what he should do now, if he should run to another room and pretend to have been playing there or walk directly to the kitchen and assume that Saradoc would go there when he couldn't find him elsewhere.
Before he could make up his mind Saradoc returned alone and gave him a tap on the shoulder, causing him to jump two feet in the air.
"Hurry along now Frodo, you don't want to miss afternoon tea."
Frodo jumped up on his feet and followed Saradoc down the hall. Ever so often his cousin was a swell Hobbit to have around. Quite often actually. Frodo had to admit that he liked Saradoc, even if he was sometimes sullen, often serious and most of the time seemed to act coldly towards Esmeralda, one of the Hobbits Frodo liked the best. It was odd to have a cousin that much older, a whole generation, but once Frodo had gotten used to seeing him more as an uncle it had been much easier to socialise with him. Saradoc had in fact been there for Frodo at times when he needed someone, and Frodo would never forget how Saradoc had taught him how to do math when Frodo was twelve. In the lack of a child of his own Saradoc had every now and then taken it upon him to parent Frodo, a fact which Frodo was both thankful for and somewhat puzzled by. Having your older cousin for a surrogate father was a tad too queer but it was better than no father at all. Rorimac sure didn't have the time, and he didn't seem to think he should have to either.
Saradoc and Frodo made their way towards the kitchen where to Frodo's surprise there was not as much to choose from as usual. Normally there would be three or four different cakes, a number of pastries and a big bowl of fruit. On this particular day there was one cake, two pies and some apples. Frodo knew that during winter the supplies tended to run low but this was ridiculous. The day before everything had been the same! Their food supplies couldn't have run out that fast, especially since there were many months left of winter.
"What do you want to eat, Frodo?" Saradoc asked and handed him a plate.
"Why is there no chocolate cake?" Frodo asked with a frown.
"I guess nobody had the time to bake one" Saradoc said. "Here, have sponge cake instead. You can have chocolate tomorrow."
Frodo wasn't too fond of sponge cake but he let Saradoc place a slice on his platter and move on to the pastries. Before long he had been seated in-between Saradoc and Merrimac, opposite Uncle Rorimac and Merrimac's wife. Neither of them seemed troubled by the lack of choices at the afternoon tea table, they all ate with a healthy appetite and went on and on about adult matters which bored Frodo to death. He looked around to see if any of the Hobbits his age were there, but then again he knew they would start to ask questions if he rose to sit somewhere else.
Stirring a slice of lemon around in his tea he leaned back with a sigh and dreamed of other times, times like the day before when there had been chocolate cake for everyone who wanted a slice. It didn't take him long to eat up what was on his platter and finish his tea and just as he was about to start seriously peddling his feet back and forth with boredom Saradoc leaned closer and whispered in his ear.
"Run along now and get back in that chair, if you insist on being in the sitting room. You'd better get there before Father is done with his meal or he will put you into decent work."
XX
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Frodo remembered his mother and father quite clearly, although he had to admit that memories were starting to fade. He could not recall his father's face or his mother's voice, but he had many memories of things they had done and said together. He had been ten years old that night when they had been out on the Brandywine River and never gotten back on shore. It had been a terrible shock for him, he had not been able to understand that he would never get to see Mother and Father again, and he had wandered the shores of the Brandywine for hours looking for them and waiting for them to come back. The first month after their death was a huge confusion in his mind, he remembered nasty rumours saying that one had pushed the other into the water and so forth, and with the loss of the Master's youngest sisters everybody was so preoccupied with their own confusion and grief to pay much notice to the child that had been left behind.
Rorimac had declared that Frodo was to stay at Brandy Hall for as long as he pleased, he was after all family and even though he had a different surname than the rest he was still to consider Brandy Hall his home and no nephew of Rorimac's would be losing a home at the same time as he lost his parents. Frodo had stayed; he had not had much choice, and he had been well treated. But at first nobody had known quite what to do with him or who would have the main responsibility for him. It had been commonly considered that the Master should take that responsibility, after all it was his nephew, but Rorimac had not wanted a youngster on his neck, especially when the management of Buckland took so much time. He spent two years trying to decide what to do with young Frodo, then he assigned Saradoc and Esmeralda the main responsibility of looking after Frodo. At least until they could begin to raise children of their own.
Frodo had of course spent time with both Saradoc and Esmeralda prior to this, but it had still meant some adjustment on everybody's part when Master Rorimac had made his decision. Frodo was moved once again, this time to the halls where the Master and his heir lived, and they put him in a room which had been used by his mother and her sisters when they had been younger. Esmeralda quickly took him under her wing, happy to have something to do on her long and empty days, and she would play with him for hours and read him stories. Frodo got used to running to her when he fell down and hurt himself, or had any other accidents in his everyday life. Esmeralda was patient and kind, and quite happy to have someone to spend her time with who didn't go by the name Brandybuck.
Saradoc had been a harder nut to crack, he had not been as open and warm as his wife and often busy helping his father out which left him with little time to spend on Frodo. But by and by Saradoc had begun to take him under his wing and by now Frodo knew that he could turn to his cousin if there was something wrong. Once Frodo had begun to get to know him and how he worked the two had begun to bond.
At fourteen, four years after being orphaned and two years after being moved to the Master Hall, Frodo was beginning to feel good about life again. It had been a hard few years but it was easier now. Though he didn't quite feel like he was at home, perhaps it was because he was not a direct family member to any of the other inhabitants or perhaps it was because he was the only Baggins living there now.
His everyday life ran smoothly for the most part, but the lack of love and care between Saradoc and Esmeralda affected him even though he wasn't quite sure why. He cared for the both of them but it was obvious that they didn't care for one another, and even though they were always polite with each other there was something about their way of relating which made Frodo feel uncomfortable. Even though nothing was said about it anyone could tell that the two would rather be miles apart instead of living in the same halls and sleeping in the same bed at night. It made Frodo feel that marriage was the last thing he wanted in the future, neither Saradoc nor Esmeralda seemed to be happy.
It was only in the evenings, when Rorimac gathered those closest to him in the sitting room, that Frodo felt completely at home and at peace. Even Saradoc and Esmeralda seemed to stand one another during these two hours each night and the sitting room was filled with a feeling of security and belonging which made Frodo so happy he could feel his eyes filling up with tears. Rorimac, Saradoc and Merrimac would take turns reading a story from one of the many story books, while Madam Menegilda, Rorimac's wife, would be knitting in her rocking chair and Merrimac's wife would be lulling Berilac to sleep. Frodo would be lying on the couch with his head on Esmeralda's lap while she stroke his curls with a warm hand. Sometimes he would fall asleep listening to the stories and Merrimac, who was the strongest out of the three grown-up Hobbit lads, would carry him back to his own bed.
On those nights when he fell asleep with his head in Esmeralda's lap, he would dream that he was back in the times before his world changed, and it was his mother's hand stroking his curls. His mother had often sat by his bedside when he was very little and lulled him to sleep that way. Once Frodo had turned five she had thought he was too old for such treatment, but Frodo had never forgotten it. And Esmeralda's gentle hand was almost as good as his mother's, and she didn't think he was too old even though he was way past his tenth birthday. She seemed to sense that he needed some comfort every now and then, and even though Frodo didn't know it she was in much need of some comfort herself. Coddling the young Hobbit consoled her almost as much as it consoled him. She too savoured these evenings by the fireplace, the calm and gentle hours before she had to go to bed next to a Hobbit she wasn't particularly fond of and who wasn't particularly fond of her.
Their fathers had been aware of their protests when they had been married but had assumed that the two of them would try to make the best out of their situation once they were husband and wife, and that love would come to grow between them before long. That might have been the case if one of them had had a positive outlook from the start, but with neither very fond of the other they had kept their chilly attitudes and refused to try and get any closer to each other. Neither wanted to admit defeat by being the one who caved first, and after a few years they both lost all interest in even trying to turn their marriage into a success. They both knew where they had one another and both accepted it, they knew they could make life work as it was and let it be that way. After more than a decade of being married and trying to bring an heir into the world the two of them were still strangers.
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After a while Saradoc returned to the sitting room and picked up his book again. Frodo could see him search for the page where he had left off and then continue to read. Frodo snuck up from his seat, grabbed a book of his own, and tried to read as well. But for some reason he couldn't. There was an odd atmosphere in these halls today, and it affected Frodo as well as everybody else. Everybody save for Saradoc who yawned yet again and seemed bored of the book he was reading.
Master Rorimac came into the room and took up his pacing once more. He glanced at the clock, then at Saradoc, then back at the clock. Saradoc looked up at him with questioning eyes.
"Really Father, you'll step a hole in the rug if you keep that up."
"You ought to be the one stepping the hole in the rug" Rorimac replied in a short tone. "It sure is taking long…"
Frodo felt he would scream if he had to listen to that conversation one more time. He felt like he was at the edge of his seat and at any loud noise he would surely jump high in the air. Whatever was causing this strange atmosphere Frodo knew that Uncle Rory could feel it too, and judging by his pacing it was something bad. Frodo was sure he would suffocate at any moment, but he had nowhere to run. All of Brandy Hall seemed filled with this weird mood, at least the halls where Frodo spent his time, and he didn't want to go outside. He was secure inside the Hall, even something bad happening there felt more comforting than something bad happening outdoors. So he stayed and watched Rorimac hurry off yet again and Saradoc turn another page of his book.
Frodo wanted to ask Saradoc if he knew what was going on at Brandy Hall this day. But he was afraid to ask. He got the feeling that Saradoc permitted him to be in the room even though he wasn't too fond of the arrangement, and if Frodo began to bother him he was sure to be thrown out. Frodo didn't want to have to spend the rest of the afternoon avoiding Master Rorimac, who would no doubt have some great task for him to do. Master Rorimac did not believe in idle hands. Frodo was sure he wouldn't be able to perform a single chore right now; this odd feeling was weighing too hard upon his shoulders.
With a sigh he put aside the book he had been trying to read and tried to think of something fun to distract himself. But it was as if he had been struck by a depression, there was such a nervous feeling about that he was unable to do anything but sit in his chair, listen to the sounds of the clock ticking and his cousin turning pages, and wait for the next time Uncle Rorimac would come in to pace a while in front of the fireplace.
Then he decided he couldn't stand much more of this. He had to find someone who could comfort him a little, and he knew just the right person. With a leap he was out of the chair and off to find Esmeralda.
XX
XX
When Frodo's fourteenth springtime came he began to notice that something was different. It was not the spring in itself, the trees were getting new leaves like always, the flowers were beginning to bloom and many birds began to return from the south. And it was not anything about the Hall, it had survived winter better than it did most years, the roof did not need to be fixed and nothing had been damaged during the long months of winter. Yet something was not as it used to be.
It was not Cousin Saradoc; he was still the same as ever. And Cousin Merrimac didn't seem to have changed either; he was out on the river as much as ever before. Frodo had not changed either; at least he didn't think he had changed. Grown a bit taller during winter, but other than that he was still the same mischievous Hobbit who had begun to plan his next raid to Farmer Maggot's crops.
The only person who seemed at all different was Esmeralda. She was paler than Frodo was used to seeing her, but then again most Hobbits were pale after having been mostly indoors for a few months. She did not have as big of an appetite as before, but the stocks of food were still dull after winter and who wouldn't have a low appetite having to eat the same boring vegetables as they had eaten all winter? She was more tired than before, but that was not so strange either. In the end Frodo couldn't blame the feeling of change on her; it had to be something else.
Eventually he decided that the change must be in both Esmeralda and Saradoc, for the more he thought about it the more he saw the two of them interacting. They rarely spoke to one another usually, and they never minded the other's business if it could be avoided. But suddenly Saradoc was ordering her to finish all her meals and spend more time outdoors, and especially to keep up with her chores instead of lying to rest. And Esmeralda did as she was told without looking like she was bothered by being ordered around all of a sudden.
May turned into June, and much to Frodo's dismay they stopped lighting the fire in the sitting room during the evenings. Rorimac still gathered everyone around for two hours each evening, but without the fire burning it was not as cosy. Frodo couldn't wait until October when he knew the fire would be lit again. Until then he had to admit that the evening hours in the sitting room were still his favourite part of the day. There seemed to be an unending line of stories in the books the lads read from and everybody always seemed so content and relaxed when they gathered around to listen.
However as June turned into July Frodo was starting to get uncomfortable resting his head in Esmeralda's lap in the evenings. He hadn't realised how much he must have grown during the past months for there seemed to be less room than he was used to. Filled with irritation he tried to find a comfortable position for his head and with an annoyed grunt he gave Esmeralda a firm boxing in the stomach with to make more room for his own head.
"Frodo!" two annoyed male voices immediately cried.
He looked up, surprised by the reprimand from Saradoc and Rorimac, who had stopped reading from the book. Saradoc came over and moved his head away from Esmeralda's lap without being the least bit gentle.
"Sit on your own, you are old enough!" he said.
"Are you okay, Esmeralda?" Rorimac asked with a concerned tone.
Esmeralda nodded and gave Frodo a pat on the head.
"He meant no harm" she said, but there was something in her tone which made Frodo wonder how hard he had boxed her. He hadn't meant to hurt her.
After that he didn't dare to lie with his head on her lap anymore, but the next evening Esmeralda had placed a soft pillow next to her and let him have his head there so she could still stroke him. It was not the same, but it would have to do, Frodo was afraid of the anger from the Master if he would cause any trouble about it. And deep down he knew he was too old to rest his head in her lap.
He began to take closer looks on Esmeralda, and study the people surrounding him. Something was definitely afoot, even Saradoc seemed to have his moments where he acted differently. They were in truth rare, but Frodo would never have expected him to react the way he had reacted when he gave Esmeralda that boxing in the stomach. Three weeks after that incident he came over to Frodo when he was on his way to find Esmeralda and he grabbed Frodo firmly by the arm and told him to find someone else to play with.
"I always go to Esmeralda to play, she always plays with me an hour before afternoon tea!" Frodo complained, confused as to why he was suddenly not allowed to see her.
"I don't want you bothering her" Saradoc said. "Play with her today but from tomorrow on you'll have to find someone else to entertain you. Aren't you too old to be playing anyway?"
"I'm not bothering her" Frodo protested.
"Just leave her be" Saradoc said and let go of Frodo's arm.
With a head full of questions he went to find Esmeralda, who sat down on the floor with him and suggested one of the games they usually played. But Frodo was more interested in talking today than he was in playing. Cousin Saradoc had sure taken his fun spirit out of him for the time being.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked Esmeralda.
"Go ahead."
"I've noticed that you've been getting awfully chubby lately" Frodo said quite bluntly. "You look like you have an ale gut, just like Uncle Dodinas, or like you've eaten a horse a day for the past weeks. But you don't drink ale and you haven't eaten much, so that can only mean…"
"Mean what?" Esmeralda asked gently.
"That you're having a baby."
Esmeralda nodded and with a smile stroke her belly which Frodo realised was far bigger than he had thought. Her skirts hid it well, but when she stroke it he could see the outlines of it. No wonder he hadn't been able to fit his head in her lap like he was used to.
"I knew something wasn't as it should" Frodo said with a sigh.
"Frodo!" Esmeralda exclaimed. "You mustn't say such a thing. This is very much as it should."
"Cousin Saradoc doesn't seem to think so" Frodo said. "He's the only one who hasn't acted out of the ordinary. Well, not much out of the ordinary at any rate."
Esmeralda nodded slowly. Yes her husband did seem to be the only one of those who knew about the upcoming baby who wasn't terribly excited. He had said that he would be excited when he had a son born, but for all he knew he could be having a daughter and then they would be right back where they had started. Though through his level-headedness and his seeming inability to get excited about anything at all Esmeralda knew that he did care. Ever so often he would even place his hand on her belly, hoping to feel the baby kick. However the baby was not much of a kicker, and Esmeralda found it very uncomfortable when her husband placed an awkward hand on her stomach hoping to feel something moving in there.
"Uncle Rorimac seems happy though" Frodo said, trying to cheer her up when he noticed the smile disappear from her face. "I bet he's hoping for an heir, don't you think so too?"
"I don't think this is fitting conversation" Esmeralda said.
"Sorry" Frodo said with a blush. "And I'm sorry if I'm troubling you, you must be needing your rest and everything…"
"It's no trouble" Esmeralda said. "Come on; let's find something fun to play."
Though from that moment on Frodo felt a bit awkward around her. Part of it was Saradoc's urge for him to leave her alone, and part of it was knowing that Uncle Rorimac probably watched her every step and would disapprove of Frodo being any sort of burden on her at all. Part of it was also that now that he knew, all he saw when he looked at her was her tummy, and the knowledge that somebody was growing in there made him feel queasy. It was so peculiar and he had had little experience with reproduction so far in his life, Merrimac's wife had rarely been around when she was expecting Berilac.
The months went by and Esmeralda's belly grew bigger. Frodo couldn't help but wish things had been the way he was used to, he had finally gotten settled and now this change was happening. He knew it was evil of him, but he wished he wasn't having a new cousin, once removed.
XX
XX
Frodo came back to the sitting room, planning on sneaking back into his chair, but he had the bad fortune of walking in while Rorimac was there. He could hear him speaking with Saradoc and was about to turn around when he heard what they were talking about. Comforted by the realisation that they were talking about something ordinary and not whatever troublesome thing was happening Frodo went inside and listened, glad to be distracted for a while.
"For all we know she's like that brother of hers and only has daughters" Saradoc said to his father in a defiant tone, referring to his brother-in-law Paladin who had two children, both daughters. "There is no reason to cause a fuss."
"I would at least have expected a little more enthusiasm in you during these past few months" Rorimac replied and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Why waste enthusiasm, if the baby turns out to be a boy I'll be happy then but the baby isn't coming anytime soon and--"
Saradoc stopped when he noticed Frodo by the door. Frodo realised that he probably wasn't meant to overhear what he had just heard, but it was too late now. Rorimac turned and saw him, and for a minute Frodo feared he would get angry. After all, Frodo had eavesdropped on a quite private conversation. But Rorimac seemed to decide that it was better to act as if they hadn't been talking about anything special, and he hurried up to Frodo and declared that he had to go get ready for bed.
"Bed?" Frodo objected. "But we haven't read a story by the fire yet, and--"
"There isn't going to be a story tonight" Rorimac said and led him out the door towards his bedroom. "Menegilda and Esmeralda are busy, and Merrimac had a splitting headache and went to bed early. We will read a story tomorrow, but it's getting late now so hurry up and get to bed."
Frodo wished he was two years old again and could stir up a storm over nothing. He knew this was really nothing, but it upset him that he would be without the pleasant hours by the fireplace. Tonight out of all nights he felt like he needed those two hours. But Rorimac was persistent and had him herded off to his room within minutes. Frodo was left alone to ponder his thoughts and deal with the unsettling emotion that had been over him all day long.
XX
XX
Frodo couldn't sleep. He lay awake staring at the ceiling above him, trying to force himself to fall asleep but it was no use. He was too unsettled, too nervous and too tense to be able to relax enough to catch a few moments of sleep. Finally he decided that he had to get out of bed or he would go mad. He threw his covers to the side and left his room to find Esmeralda. Whatever she had been busy with earlier she must be finished by now. Perhaps he could ask her to come sit with him and stroke his hair and tell him a story, as if he had been a little child. Tonight he felt like he needed that.
He went to look for her in the sitting room, but found only Saradoc still. His cousin looked up at him with surprised eyes but then rose and waved him closer.
"What's the matter?" Saradoc asked. "Couldn't sleep?"
"No" Frodo said.
"Well then come sit here for a while" Saradoc offered. He poured some wine from a carafe. "Here, have some of this. It might make you sleepy."
Frodo took the glass offered to him by his cousin. He took a sip and made a face. Saradoc laughed at his reaction and told him he would get used to it when he was older. Frodo made a face at the taste that lingered in his mouth but obediently kept drinking. He had only been given half of what the adults usually drank but it seemed like a whole lot when he could only down one sip at a time. He sat down on the edge of a sofa and forced himself to have another sip of wine.
"It's late" Saradoc said. "You ought to be asleep. Did you dream something bad?"
"No" Frodo said. "I never went to sleep."
"I could go to sleep" Saradoc said with a sigh and sat down, rubbing his eyes.
"Not for a while yet Saradoc" Rorimac said as he walked in the room and filled up a glass of wine for himself. "Wait at least another hour. Frodo what are you doing out of bed?"
"He couldn't sleep so I gave him some wine" Saradoc said.
"That usually does the trick" Rorimac said and took a large sip from his own glass. Then he looked at Frodo. "What's the matter, lad? Why can't you go to sleep?"
"I don't feel very well" Frodo admitted.
Rorimac came over and placed a hand on Frodo's forehead. Frodo was about to tell him that there was nothing physically wrong with him when Saradoc came over as well and took a close look at Frodo and claimed he looked pale.
"Merrimac seems to be coming down with a fever, perhaps you are too" Rorimac said, sounding worried. "You are a bit hot."
"Wouldn't I be tired if I was coming down with the fever?" Frodo had to ask.
The adults didn't seem to listen to him though. Instead they conferred with each other, talking about Frodo as if he wasn't even there, and before he knew it the decision had been made to bring him to one of the medics and get some herbal tea prepared for him.
"You don't have to do that" Frodo objected, unwilling to leave the Master Halls, especially wearing nothing but his pyjamas.
"Nonsense, better to make sure" Saradoc said and pulled Frodo to his feet.
"Perhaps we can thwart the fever before it breaks out" Rorimac added and took the glass from Frodo.
With a quick motion Rorimac downed Frodo's glass and his own, much to Frodo's amazement, and then strode out the door heading for the more public corridors of Brandy Hall. Saradoc followed closely behind with his hands firmly placed on Frodo's shoulders, herding him along as they went.
Frodo prayed they wouldn't run into anyone out in the public halls, but he wasn't quite sure how late it was. The halls seemed dark and empty though, only the light of Rorimac's candle lit up the familiar paths as they went down one of the corridors that led to the medic quarters. Brandy Hall had seven medics and one medic hall where herbs were kept and patients were treated. There was always one medic either in the medical office or asleep in the medic bedroom in cases of emergencies and when Rorimac strode past the office Frodo realised that whoever was on medic duty he was asleep by now. The thought was not encouraging; Frodo couldn't imagine anyone being in a good mood if they were woken up to tend to a Hobbit who might be coming down with fever. But there was no getting out of it now, and he had tried to tell Saradoc and Rorimac that he was in fact not physically ill.
Before he knew it he was sitting on a bed in the examine room with the old medic Gorbulas, a cousin to Rorimac, looking down his throat. Gorbulas seemed a bit disoriented at first from having been woken up, but before long he was busy giving Frodo a full exam, making him feel completely ridiculous.
"Are you worried that it might be something serious?" Gorbulas asked Rorimac.
"He's complained about not feeling well, and since he hasn't yet gone to sleep and it's nearly an hour past midnight I am quite concerned" Rorimac admitted.
An hour past midnight! Frodo gulped.
"He's usually never ill" Saradoc added. "Never one to complain."
Frodo wished they would stop talking about him as if he wasn't in the room. But on the other hand he wasn't able to speak for himself right now, since Gorbulas had a firm grip of his tongue to check its colour. This was precisely the reason why Frodo rarely made a fuss if he wasn't feeling well; he hated being examined by the medics.
"He does seem fine to me" Gorbulas mumbled.
"At least give him some herbal tea to drink" Rorimac insisted. "The last thing we need is the child coming down with something. You know Merrimac is already ill!"
"No I didn't know Merrimac was already ill" Gorbulas muttered, sounding like he was fed up with Rorimac and his whole family.
Rorimac paid no attention to the grumpy tone and began asking questions about different herbs. Frodo moaned and wished he could just feel a little tired so this all could end and he could crawl into his bed and finally get some sleep.
His uncle and his cousin brought him back to the Master Halls with some herbs in a bag and proceeded to make him some tea. Then they fluffed up some of the pillows on the smaller sofa in the sitting room and told Frodo to lie down there once he was done drinking his tea. Somehow they seemed to know that what he was mostly looking for was some company, and before long Frodo found himself curled up under a blanket, listening to Rorimac and Saradoc speaking to each other in soft voices by the fireplace. For a moment Frodo felt he didn't care what was wrong in Brandy Hall this day, the uncomfortable atmosphere seemed to have lifted for a moment, and he closed his eyes with a content sigh.
XX
XX
He wasn't sure for how long he had slept, but he was woken up by the familiar voice of Menegilda, Rorimac's wife. He opened his eyes and saw her standing by the door, talking to Saradoc and Rorimac who were still in their armchairs by the fire. Frodo knew they thought he was asleep so he didn't move or make a sound; he just closed his eyes again and listened to their voices. It was comforting to hear their voices speak; for once he was glad that the Hall was not silent, even in the middle of the night. A quick glance at the clock on the wall had told him that it was just past three in the morning.
"Well?" he heard Rorimac say.
"It is all over" Menegilda's voice told them. "Everybody is tired and needs a good meal and a good rest, but other than that everything is just as it should be. It's a boy."
Frodo's eyes perked open. A boy? What was a boy?
"A boy!" Saradoc cried and flew to his feet with a triumphant look on his face.
"Hush!" Rorimac said with a nod towards Frodo who quickly closed his eyes.
"Mother and son are both doing just fine" Menegilda said, and Frodo could hear by the sound of her voice that she was smiling.
"A boy" Frodo could hear Saradoc repeat. "You could not have brought me better news!"
"After all these years, finally you have an heir" Rorimac proudly said and patted his son on the shoulder. "How wonderful."
"He took his time coming into the world, but he is very precious" the proud grandmother said.
"A boy" Saradoc said once again. "I have to see him, right away!"
"Settle down" Menegilda said with a gentle laugh. "He will still be here in the morning, you need some sleep and so does he."
"I have been settled down all day long, now I think I've earned some excitement! There's plenty of time to sleep later, I must see him right away!"
Frodo listened to their continued conversation and realised what had been going on all day long. Esmeralda had been nowhere to be found, and neither had Menegilda. Rorimac's nervous pacing and constant mentioning of how long it seemed to be taking also fell into place, as well as even Saradoc's calm behaviour. Trust Cousin Saradoc not to be excited even by the knowledge that his child was being born right that minute. But he was excited now, more so that Frodo had ever heard, and Frodo knew that soon everybody in Buckland would share his enthusiasm. The future Master finally had a son, after all these years. It was great news for everyone, but Frodo felt oddly saddened by the news. Life would change forever now, more so than when Berilac had been born two years ago. He knew that from now on his place in Esmeralda's lap and the time Saradoc devoted to teaching him were both gone, and instead this baby would claim the spot. And why wouldn't it, it was after all the baby's parents. Frodo's parents were gone.
XX
XX
While Frodo went back to sleep Saradoc slipped into the room where his newborn son was and closed the door behind him. Esmeralda was asleep in the bed, looking pale and spent, and the baby was in a crib watched over by his tired but smiling maternal grandmother. Saradoc went over to the crib and gently pushed his mother-in-law aside to see the newborn. A huge smile appeared on his face when he saw the sleeping infant.
"He's perfect" he decided.
"Very darling" his mother-in-law admitted.
"Just perfect…"
"Every parent says that."
"Not a single bad inch in him. Every part of him is as good as can be."
"And he took his good time arriving too" Esmeralda's mother said.
"I cannot determine who he looks like."
"Probably a little like the both of you."
"Will you leave us alone for a moment?" Saradoc asked.
"Certainly. But make sure somebody is here to look after the baby when you leave, his mother has well earned her rest."
Saradoc nodded and impatiently waved her out of the room. When he was alone with his family he reached out his hand and gently stroke the baby's head. A few strains of curly hair covered the scalp, and the skin felt so soft. Saradoc was instantly in love with his child, and filled with pride. For ten years he had resented the idea of having a child with a Took but now he wouldn't trade a thing about this infant. Right then and there he made up great plans for the baby's future. He would be intelligent, well-bred, articulate, poetic, gentle, competent and a dozen other qualities. He would have the best upbringing in the Shire and everybody would think of Saradoc Brandybuck's son and be happy that they knew him.
"You are going to be an amazing Hobbit" he whispered and stroke his son's cheek. "And you will accomplish great things. A real pride for the Brandybuck family."
XX
XX
Frodo was anything but impressed when he got to see the latest addition to the family the following evening.
Although Esmeralda was very tired and very weak Merrimac had lifted her into the sitting room so that she could be a part of the baby's first evening by the fireplace. She sat in the most comfortable armchair, the one that was usually Master Rorimac's, wrapped in the best covers in the house and with the most comfortable pillow behind her neck. The baby was wrapped in a soft blanket and lying in her arms. Her face beamed with motherly pride when she showed him off to Frodo, the only one present who hadn't seen the baby already, and Frodo managed to politely smile.
"Very nice" he said.
In truth he thought the baby looked hideous. Tiny, red and wrinkly. Plus it made odd little noises all the time and seemed to have more spit than he knew what to make of. Frodo couldn't imagine what the adults were fussing so much over; he had a hard time picturing this wrinkly, helpless little thing ever being of any use to anybody.
"He is absolutely darling" Menegilda said and leaned over to coo the baby.
Frodo made his retreat back to the sofa he usually sat on with Esmeralda and watched with jealous eyes as nobody paid any attention to the story being read in favour of the baby. The adults all had eyes only for the baby. The only ones who weren't there to oooh and aaah were Merrimac and his wife, who had both gone to bed early with Berilac since they had come down with a cold. Frodo wished he had gotten sick after all, so he wouldn't have to sit there while Rorimac put aside the book for good and embarked on a monologue on how sweet the newborn baby was.
The new father went over to Esmeralda and leaned over his son for a good while, taking in every word his own father had to say about the new Hobbit who apparently was such a miracle. Frodo had never expected to see a look like that in his cousin's face but today nothing was as it had been two days before.
"I can't get enough of looking at him" Saradoc declared.
Frodo rolled his eyes. He knew how the drill tended to go with parents. At first it sounded like this, then they spent a year eagerly waiting for their little gem to begin to walk and speak, only to spend the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and be quiet.
All thoughts of the future were bright and positive in Saradoc's mind. He knew there would not be another baby in the family, since this one had been a boy he would be their only one, and thus he would have to carry all of the parents' hopes and dreams. But Saradoc was confident that this little one could handle it.
"Little child" he said. "You are going to be one fine Hobbit."
"He already is" Esmeralda said with a warm smile.
The two parents looked at each other and for the first time Frodo could see some warmth there. Despite what they both had believed they had managed to accomplish some great things together. To everyone's surprise Saradoc leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Esmeralda's lips.
"You did good" he whispered to her.
XX
XX
Frodo stretched out on the thick rug by the fireplace and stared at the ceiling. On a blanket next to him was the baby, also staring at the ceiling and seeming quite content with it. The baby was three weeks old and the fussing had not ended yet. Frodo was jealous and sick of it all.
"Frodo I have to run get the baby's pacifier" Esmeralda said. "Will you keep an eye on him for me? The others will be here shortly, but just watch him. Don't play around with him."
Frodo snorted, offended by the mere suggestion. Why would he want to play with this boring little thing? All this little creature did was sleep, eat, smell and produce spit. How much fun was that? Plus he still looked funny, having enough skin for three babies it seemed. Frodo could indeed watch him while Esmeralda went to fetch the pacifier; he had nothing better to do anyhow. It was evening and the usual reading hours by the fireplace were about to start but not even them were fun anymore. The stories were short and the rest of the time was devoted to admiring the baby. Frodo couldn't make sense of it all, Berilac had not been greeted with this much fuss when he arrived. It didn't cross Frodo's mind that the birth of this baby had been eagerly awaited for twelve years, and that it was the future of Buckland that was currently blowing spit bubbles next to him.
"What's so special about you anyways?" he asked the baby and rolled over on his side to look at the infant. "All you do is lie there!"
The baby waved his arms about and made more of the little sounds Frodo found so annoying. Frodo frowned and poked the baby in the stomach. More noises, but the baby didn't seem displeased. Luckily, for Frodo didn't want to know what they would say if he made the baby cry. Above all he didn't know how to make the baby stop crying.
"Why are they so over themselves about you being born, they didn't greet your cousin this way! You're going to grow up with the biggest ego and nobody likes a Hobbit who is full of himself."
More waving arms and sounds from the baby. Frodo could see that he was drooling a bit too and with a disgusted face wiped the spit off with the edge of the blanket.
"Not to mention nobody likes a Hobbit who has no control of his saliva." He sighed deeply. "Sorry baby, I don't see what's so amazing about you." He absentmindedly reached out his little finger and the baby took it. "Oh my… You have a firm grip, I'll give you that!"
Suddenly he sat up and eyed the baby closely. The child had just smiled at him; Frodo hadn't seen him do that before. With a sudden spark of interest he leaned over the baby and tried to make him smile again by making weird faces. But the baby only looked at him with questioning eyes.
"What are you doing Frodo?" Esmeralda asked with an amused smile as she walked in and found Frodo making faces at her son.
"He smiled at me; I'm trying to make him smile again!"
"No that's not possible; he's too little to have smiled."
"He did, I swear I saw it! There it is again!"
To her surprise Esmeralda too could see a brief smile appear on the baby's face. She gently lifted him up and examined him more closely but he seemed to be done smiling for the time being. Instead she smiled for the both of them and gave the infant his pacifier.
"My merry child…" she said and sat down.
"Merry what?" Saradoc asked, entering the room and sitting down next to his wife. "Merry for Meriadoc? Three weeks old and already he's got a nickname."
"No, merry for his merry spirit" Esmeralda said. "He smiled at us!"
"He's too little" Saradoc said.
"That's what I said when Frodo told me, but then I saw it too!"
Saradoc shook his head, obviously not believing her. Esmeralda looked offended and wrapped the baby up in his blanket.
"I'm surprised that you don't believe that your son can smile even at such a tender age" she said, knowing how proud he was of his baby. "He gets that from me" she added with a sly look at her husband.
"Fine, if you tell me he smiled then he smiled" Saradoc said. "Meriadoc is certainly the one child who would smile at such an age, aren't you?" he added and cooed the baby.
"Indeed he is" Esmeralda agreed with a conspiring smile at Frodo.
Frodo smiled back at her. He was proud to have been the one to make the baby smile for the very first time. For a moment he felt like he was part of the whole admiration circus.
XX
XX
Frodo watched the baby grow, from a distant first but more and more closely as time went by. He wasn't overly fond of babies but little Meriadoc was different somehow. He didn't realise that most people who live with a small child think that they are different from all other babies, all he knew was that Meriadoc was indeed as special as everyone had claimed at his birth.
Meriadoc, or Merry for short, had a tendency to seem old for his years and was not as childlike as Frodo had expected him to be. He had a serious disposition which he had inherited from his father, though enough of his mother was in him for him to have a more fun-loving side. Frodo quickly grew more attached and found it was fun to play with the little one, much more fun than playing with the two years older Berilac who was a cranky child. Merry was good-natured and didn't cry a lot, although when he got angry he got furious. He was determined and stubborn and Frodo would never forget how he decided at the age of one and a half that he would go to the potty instead of wearing diapers. Two days later he had worn his last diaper and the adults around him were amazed.
Frodo found that the child was the perfect cure for his loneliness and a bond began to form between them that Frodo had never expected. Even at the age of four Merry was eager to learn and eager to follow Frodo around. Even though he was a little child he was in many ways Frodo's best friend. He could laugh and play, yet he could also look very serious when you talked to him and nod as if he was taking everything in and understanding it. Although he was childlike there was not an infantile bone in his body and Frodo saw him as a little adult, even at the tender age of four.
At the same time Frodo was beginning to form a closer bond with his old relative Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo had come over to visit him a number of times, claiming that Bagginses needed to stick together, and Frodo was very happy to see him. Bilbo was happy to teach Frodo things and Frodo was eager to learn. The two grew closer over a short period of time and that year they celebrated their birthdays together, both of them born on September 22nd. In Bilbo Frodo felt he'd found the mentor he had been looking for since his parents died and he longed for the older Hobbit's next visits. Every so often Frodo would borrow a pony and ride to Bag End and spend a few days there, and it was just as peaceful and quiet as he had always wanted.
XX
XX
Years went by and the Brandybuck baby grew. At the age of six he seemed to be a complete Hobbit, and Frodo spent a lot of his time together with him. Frodo was pushing 21, and during summer Bilbo came with a suggestion which Frodo had not expected. He asked Frodo to come live at Bag End, claiming it would make their birthdays easier to celebrate. Frodo knew that the real reason was something more than that. Bilbo had become to him the replacement for the father he had lost, and Frodo had taken the place in Bilbo's life of the son he never had. Frodo happily accepted the offer and began to make preparations to leave Brandy Hall.
Young Merry watched him pack and prepare to move, and didn't say a word. He was old enough to understand what it meant that Frodo was being adopted by Bilbo; he knew that Frodo was leaving for good. Part of Frodo wished that Merry would act up and scream and yell, like his older cousin Berilac did when he found out Frodo was moving. That would have been easier than the silent acceptance of his little friend. Whatever Merry was feeling on the lines of sadness and hurt he hid it well. He wasn't about to make the departure harder on Frodo than it already was, but his behaviour had the opposite effect. Frodo felt like he was letting Merry down, and Merry's silent forgiveness only increased Frodo's feel of guilt.
"Don't you go feeling guilty for his sake" Esmeralda said to him the night before he was set to leave. "Merry will still be here for you to come and visit, and you cannot stay here just so you won't hurt his feelings. You feel better at Bag End than you do here; you have a connection with Bilbo Baggins which you don't have with any of us. You have to move, and that's just that. Merry understands and he will not be mad at you."
"I know" Frodo said. "It's just hard to move away, that's all. I've been here his whole life and now it feels like I'm deserting him."
"You're not" Esmeralda assured him. "Not so long as you come and visit him every once in a while. And when he's older he will come visit you in Hobbiton. It will be fine."
But the next day when Frodo was saying goodbye he wasn't so sure that everything would be fine. Merry looked at him with his big round eyes and Frodo saw them filling up with tears. The next thing he knew his so often composed little cousin was crying his eyes out and Frodo had no idea how to make him stop. He had never had to soothe Merry before other than when he had fallen and hurt himself. Frodo had no idea how to deal with these kind of tears.
"I don't want you to move" Merry sobbed.
"I'm not going forever" Frodo said.
"Yes you are."
"No, I will be back here to visit."
"That's not the same."
"I know it's not" Frodo admitted. "But Merry you know that nothing's going to change, really. I won't be living here but you will see me often anyway. You're starting school next month; you wouldn't be seeing much of me even if I still lived here."
"Still it's not the same" Merry said. He threw his arms around Frodo and hugged him tight. "I will miss having you here!"
"There now" Frodo said awkwardly and returned the hug. "You and I are still best friends, you know that right? No matter how far I move nothing's going to change that."
Merry nodded and released his grip on Frodo. He stepped back and took his mother's hand, trying to dry his tears with the back of his other hand.
"I will miss you the most" Frodo said to him. "Goodbye. I will see you soon."
XX
XX
In late November Frodo came to spend a week at Brandy Hall and celebrate Merry's seventh birthday. He was happy to see that nothing had changed in his relationship with the younger Hobbit, even though they had only seen each other three times since Frodo had moved in August.
Frodo was doing well in Bag End. It was the home he had always dreamt of, a quiet and peaceful place where he could have time alone to his own thoughts but whenever he needed company there was somebody there for him. Bilbo felt more like a father now than ever, and he taught Frodo a lot of things that he had learned over the years that most other Hobbits didn't know. Frodo could feel himself prosper in Bag End, he had finally come home and all his years of insecurities were behind him.
When he came to Brandy Hall he felt no remorse for having left it. Rorimac still welcomed him with open arms and both Saradoc and Esmeralda seemed happy to see him, but the only real reason why he came back was Merry and they all knew it. Merry was eager to hear what Frodo had learned since they last saw each other and Frodo selected bits and pieces to try and teach the young Hobbit. In return Merry told him about what he had learned in school and Frodo wasn't surprised that he was doing well. He was not the bright shining star his father had predicted he would be, but he did well enough and luckily seemed to have a knack for math which would come in handy later in his life.
Overall Merry seemed to be doing just fine even without Frodo. He had a two years older friend, Fredegar Bolger, whom he spent a lot of time with, and other than that he was often busy burying his nose in books. Though it was obvious that Merry was thrilled to see his older cousin again, and he stuck so close to Frodo during the first two days that Esmeralda eventually told him to give Frodo some room or he would be sent to bed early without any supper.
On Merry's birthday Esmeralda's siblings came to visit, bringing their families, and soon the Master Halls were filled with enough Tooks to make Saradoc excuse himself and go hide in the study. Frodo looked a bit shocked at first to see so many Hobbits in one hall, he had gotten used to living alone with Bilbo in the big house. Quite soon he felt ready to retreat to his guest room and perhaps tell Merry the story of Bilbo and the three trolls, but he could tell that Merry would not be so easy to pull from the visitors. For one thing he had been well taught in all senses of decorum and was not about to walk out on his own guests. For another he had ended up in a discussion with his cousin Pimpernel over something or other, and it amazed Frodo to hear the two of them talk like little adults.
Pimpernel's mother, Merry's aunt by marriage, had placed herself in an armchair and declared she was not going to get up until she was thrown out of the halls. She turned to Esmeralda and with a sigh began to complain about her latest pregnancy, which was from what Frodo could tell quite exhausting. Even exhausting enough for her to talk about it openly, Frodo knew very well that these subjects were usually not discussed in front of company, and certainly not in front of children. But the mother-to-be seemed to have forgotten all of his as she sighed deeply and placed a hand on her belly.
"The baby won't stop kicking, I never get any rest" she complained.
Merry got up from his seat and walked over with an interested look on his face. There were no babies born in these halls anymore, neither he nor his cousin Berilac had gotten any siblings, it was a new area for him and he was eager to know more about it.
"Why does the baby kick?" he asked his aunt and examined her belly.
"Because she's a little pester" his aunt Eglantine said.
"Does it hurt?"
"Sometimes" Eglantine said, looking surprised at all the questions.
Esmeralda put her hand on Eglantine's belly and laughed when she felt a kick.
"Yes indeed, she is a kicker."
"Can I feel it?" Merry asked.
"If you want" Eglantine said, not knowing what else to say. She had never heard of a seven year-old lad who had any interest in babies.
Merry gently put his hand on her belly and felt a fierce kick which he thought must have hurt his aunt, though it made Merry smile. Then he didn't feel anything else. He kept his hand on her belly for a few minutes and then looked highly annoyed.
"It's not kicking much at all" he complained, feeling cheated.
He took his hand away and the baby responded with a kick.
"He seemed to be able to make it stop" Eglantine said to Esmeralda. "Do you mind if I borrow him for a few months?"
Esmeralda laughed and lifted Merry up into her lap. Merry was highly displeased, he had wanted to feel the constant kicking of the baby, but the boring thing had stopped right away. Aunt Eglantine claimed the baby had started all over again but Merry didn't believe her. Grumpily he thought he would never get to learn more about babies, since none were born at his home and this visiting one refused to cooperate.
Frodo eyed his little cousin with an amused smile. It was just like Merry to want to know about adult things and then sulk when he couldn't understand them. Frodo decided that perhaps it was time to retreat with Merry now, he was sick and tired of all the commotion around him and the sullen look on Merry's face was as good a reason as any to remove him from the sitting room for a while.
Merry obediently followed Frodo to his guest room but he was not up for hearing a story. He looked at Frodo with questioning eyes and asked him why he hadn't been happy living at Brandy Hall. The question surprised Frodo, he hadn't been aware that Merry had known he wasn't quite at peace there. But he felt he could be honest with this little lad, and above all he felt like he could trust him.
"I didn't feel at home because… Because of many reasons. I'm a Baggins and I belong in Hobbiton. Since my parents died I haven't had any real family here. And the Hall is too big with too many Hobbits living here. I need someplace quiet."
Merry nodded, taking it all in and seeming to be able to make sense out of it.
"Yes the Hall is a crowded, loud place" he said. "Especially today. You do realise I hope that you can't keep us stowed away here for too long, though?"
Frodo laughed.
"Meriadoc remind me again, is this your 7th or 27th birthday?"
"Don't make fun" Merry said seriously.
"I'm not. You just didn't say something I would have expected a seven year-old to say."
"What would a seven year-old have said?"
"He would probably have said please take me back to the party so that I can have some more cake" Frodo said with a laugh.
"There is no more cake, we ate it all" Merry grinned. "Too bad, otherwise you could have brought some back home for Bilbo."
Frodo smiled at Merry. He was impressed with the lad, not only had he accepted that Bag End was Frodo's home now, he generously offered to send some cake to Bilbo, the one who had taken Frodo away from Brandy Hall. Then again it was easy to be generous with a cake that was already eaten. But Merry did indeed seem old for his years. Almost too old, Frodo worried. Sometimes it seemed like he wasn't getting much of a childhood. Saradoc was eager for his son to have the best upbringing he possibly could and ever since Merry had been very little he had been taught how to act like an adult. But there was more to it than that, Frodo knew that much. Merry had a very composed personality, he was not much of a troublemaker and it seemed to Frodo that he had already begun to lose interest in playing games. Frodo wished he could make him lighten up and savour his childhood but Merry didn't seem to have it in him to be that way. He took after his father a whole lot in that aspect, Frodo had often heard over the past few years that Merry was as serious as Saradoc always had been. Frodo cringed at the thought of Merry growing up to be like Saradoc, for all his traits Saradoc was a bit of a bore and Frodo hoped that the Took side of Merry would begin to shine through sooner or later.
It was with a certain sadness that Frodo left Brandy Hall two days later. Merry couldn't quite keep the tears from his eyes this time either, during the past week he had gotten used to having Frodo there all the time and now he was leaving again.
"Dry those tears" Saradoc urged. "Frodo will be back."
"No, let him cry a little" Frodo said and gave Merry a hug. "There's no shame in crying when you're saying goodbye to a friend."
"When will you be back to visit?" Merry asked.
"You will be so busy with school now for a few months, you won't have time for me to come and visit" Frodo said. "I'll be here in January, I promise."
"That's a long time" Merry said but he nodded. "If that's the way it is then that's the way it is."
"Do come by sooner Frodo" Esmeralda said and gave him a hug. "I know you're home is at Bag End now but you will always have a home here too."
"Thank you" Frodo said.
"Now you must be on your way" Saradoc said and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "It will be dark before you get there."
Frodo nodded and said his final goodbye for now. Merry waved at him as he left and Frodo couldn't help but give him a little smile.
"On second thought, do dry your tears Merry" he said. "The next time we see each other it will be as if we never were apart. You know that. Nothing's going to change."
Merry nodded. It had been his fear, and he had confided it in Frodo. He was afraid that spending much time apart would make things different when they saw each other. Frodo had promised him that it would not be like that, and that their current meeting was proof of that. It was the first time they had seen each other in a month and yet everything was just the same as always. What could possibly change that?
XX
XX
In May Frodo decided to take Merry out for an overnight hike in the woods. Saradoc and Esmeralda both protested wildly, but in the end Bilbo had managed to convince them that a night outdoors would only do Merry good. Frodo was more than capable of looking after the seven year-old and they would not be far off in case something happened. Saradoc finally agreed, but only if Merry was brought to the Great Smials the next day, where his parents would be, to see the new cousin that had been born.
Frodo and Merry walked a few miles into the forest and made camp there. Frodo had often been out like this with Bilbo, and though he found he missed having him there he was also glad to spend some time alone with Merry, away from all the commotion at Brandy Hall. Merry was very interested in the nature around him and asked dozens of questions. He wanted to know about every plant that he hadn't seen before, and what bird sang which songs. Frodo could only answer a few of his questions, but he had a great time nonetheless. He cooked dinner over an open fire and told Merry one of Bilbo's stories. When the night fell dark around them he for a moment worried that Merry would prove to be afraid of the woods in the dark and demand to be taken home, but Merry didn't seem bothered. Frodo figured he was probably too down to earth to be frightened by unseen things in the dark, and he wondered if his young cousin would ever sit with his friends and tell ghost stories in the night. Probably not.
The next morning Frodo woke him up early and began to pack up their things. They walked through the woods at a faster pace today, since they were expected at the Great Smials in the afternoon. Frodo had chosen their hike to go through the woods by Tuckburough, bringing them closer to the Smials, and they reached the large Hobbit hole with more than an hour to spare before afternoon tea.
Frodo had not been to the Great Smials more than twice before in his life, but Merry had been there a number of times with his mother. He walked down the halls, turning left and right so many times Frodo wondered if he was just walking around in a big zigzag with no real target in sight. But before long they ended up in a small corridor where Paladin and Eglantine Took lived together with their three daughters and the newborn child, which had turned out to be a son.
"Here's your son, safely returned" Frodo said with a smile to Esmeralda and Saradoc when they came into the sitting room.
"Finally!" Saradoc said.
Frodo smirked at him. Knowing his cousin he had probably waited eagerly for Merry to show up, for once he had paid his visits to his new cousin they could head back to Brandy Hall. Esmeralda had no plans on leaving anytime soon though; she was busy admiring her new nephew and was happy to be among her own people for a while.
"Come say hello to your young cousin" she told Merry.
Merry walked over and stood on his tiptoes to see the baby in Eglantine's arms. He grinned and looked up at his aunt.
"He's awfully tiny, isn't he?"
"He will grow" she answered with a smile.
"Can I hold him?"
Startled by the enquiry Eglantine handed her son over to the seven year-old. Merry was surprised at how heavy the baby was, but he held him carefully without any fear of dropping him. Frodo watched the scene with as much astonishment as the adults and for some reason felt a sting of uncertainty. He remembered how he had reacted when he first saw Merry as a baby and the last thing he had wanted was to have to hold the bundle. Merry seemed to have taken an immediate liking to his little cousin and Frodo had an odd feeling of being left out. The baby didn't seem to be anything special to his eyes, yet another screaming, smelly little thing that would require so much attention and do so little use.
"Perhaps we should be getting home" Saradoc said, impatiently looking at the clock on the wall.
"Yes I think that is a great idea" Frodo heard himself say, for some reason wanting to end the scene he was watching. "Merry must be exhausted from the hike; he should get back home and get some rest."
"I'm not exhausted" Merry objected and grinned at his aunt and uncle. "The baby is though. He fell asleep, right away!"
"Seriously Esmeralda, can we keep him for a few months?" Eglantine asked with a sigh. "For a baby this one sleeps hardly at all. Anybody who can make him go to sleep that fast should be hired as a nanny."
Merry looked a bit spooked, not wanting to be someone's nanny, and quickly handed the baby back to its mother. His parents began to make their leave but Merry stopped in the doorway on his way out and turned to look at his cousin again.
"Can I come visit soon?" he asked. "I liked getting to hold the baby."
"As often as you like, darling" Eglantine said with a tired voice.
"Come along Merry, don't bother them" Frodo said and herded his young friend out the door.
XX
XX
Esmeralda soon made good use out of her son's wish to see the newborn again, and let him be her excuse to go visit the Smials more often. She knew neither Saradoc nor Rorimac approved of her going over there so often but when she said to them that Merry should be allowed to see his cousin they didn't know how to tell her no. Two or three times a month she took her son with her and went to visit her parents and her siblings at the Smials. Merry took a great interest in his little cousin, taking the opportunity to study a newborn child and how it grew, since the only babies born at Brandy Hall were born to people who found it queer that Young Master Merry would want to visit the child.
Merry was often entrusted the duty of babysitter, both the mother and the nanny were happy to get a few minutes away from the child who was quite demanding. Eglantine claimed she feared the day her son would start crawling, and worse, walking, for he would be all over the Smials unless they put him on a leash. Not to mention when he would start talking! They would never get a moment of quiet in the house.
Merry would usually stretch out on the rug on the floor, next to the blanket where the little one laid. Often without saying anything but sometimes he would whisper secrets to the baby, knowing that he could not understand them and even if he did he could not tell anybody about them. Merry had been feeling lonely since Frodo moved, and lying next to the baby soothed his loneliness for some reason. The little baby noises were comforting to him and when the baby got older his little laughs cheered Merry up. Each time he came to visit the Smials he was surprised to see how much his cousin had grown.
When Frodo came to visit Merry in November to celebrate his eighth birthday he was surprised that Merry didn't come and greet him at the door like always. Instead he was seated on the big rug by the fireplace, playing peek-a-boo with the six month-old Took. When he saw Frodo he looked up and grinned.
"Do you suppose babies learn to talk so that they can tell the older ones that their games are ridiculous?" he asked.
"Maybe so" Frodo said, trying not to feel a sting of jealousy at the sight.
Merry got up from the floor and gave Frodo a hug. He began chattering about what he had been up to lately and Frodo listened with great interest, though he couldn't help but notice how Merry's eyes were more on his baby cousin than his tween one. Frodo couldn't understand why he felt so strange seeing Merry play with the baby, after all Merry had never minded Frodo's closeness with Bilbo. But after a while of looking at the two children on the rug he found himself forced to smile, for it reminded him of when Merry had been that age and a fourteen year-old Frodo had played with him.
After a while the baby's mother came in to give him his feeding and put him to bed. She thanked Merry for looking after him and said hello to Frodo.
"Young Peregrin had best settle down now" she said and lifted her son up into her arms. "If he doesn't take a nap now he will never be able to go to sleep tonight."
"Are you really going to just call him Peregrin?" Merry asked with a frown. "It's an awfully long name, and with the energy he has you'll need a much shorter name to yell after him when he's up to mischief!"
Eglantine laughed.
"You might be on to something. What do you suggest we call him then?"
"I'm not quite sure. I never thought that far."
The baby made a noise and stuck his thumb in his mouth.
"Was that a word?" Frodo had to ask.
"No, it's just the noise I make when we play peek-a-boo" Merry said. "I do a little beep noise when I peek. That doesn't count as a word."
"Though it sounded more like bib when he tried it" Eglantine said.
"Or pip" Merry said. "He makes that noise a lot when we play. It's like he's just sitting there, pip-ing."
"Pip-ing, huh?" Eglantine said and smiled at the boy.
The baby too his thumb out of his mouth and made the noise again. His mother shook her head and gathered the last of his things.
"Goodbye for now, little pip-ing" Merry said and waved at the baby. "Sleep tight."
XX
XX
After that Merry got into the habit of calling his cousin "little pip-ing", which soon ended up being "little pippin", and before long nobody called him anything else than Pippin. As time went by Frodo watched from a distance how little Pippin grew and how young Merry kept his interest in him much like Frodo had kept his interest in baby Meriadoc once.
No matter how hard he tried Frodo was not able to shake the feeling of jealousy when he saw the two of them together. His own closeness with Merry had not changed in any way, but there was something about seeing Merry with little Pippin which made Frodo feel oddly left out. While Merry had always been serious and composed, adult for his years and for the past few years not too interested in playing, Pippin was the exact opposite. He was at all places at once, laughing, playing and not seeming to have a serious bone in his body. He was very much a child in every way and had no rush growing up; there was nothing about him that made you think he was older than his years. Though when the two cousins met up it seemed to work fine, instead of clashing with their different personalities. Merry would sit down opposite Pippin on the floor, look into his eyes and it would make Pippin calm down for a second. The two could stare at each other with complete seriousness for several minutes, before Merry would break out laughing and happily begin to play with his cousin. While Merry seemed to bring a seriousness to Pippin, Pippin brought a childlikeness to Merry which he much needed. To Frodo's amazement Merry was beginning to act more like the young Hobbit he was than the older Hobbit he often appeared to be. The childhood Frodo had feared he was throwing away was now being savoured, and Pippin was the one to bring it out in him.
As Pippin grew older Frodo had an even more difficult time figuring out what was causing his odd feelings of being left out. For the truth was that the two young cousins never did anything to leave him out, they never minded having Frodo's company, it was as if they had a world of their own which Frodo could not disturb even if he was with them all the time. They happily let Frodo in on their games and their special quirks, and as much as Frodo wanted to dislike little Pippin he found he just couldn't. The young Hobbit was so full of charm and love of life that it was impossible not to like him. Frodo found he liked him very much, even though he felt left out when he saw Pippin and Merry together.
XX
XX
The years went by and before Frodo knew it he was 30 years old, Merry was 16 and Pippin 8. Things again began to shift, this time drawing Merry closer to Frodo. Merry had passed over from childhood to young adulthood, earlier than most Hobbits but not at all surprising to Frodo who had expected Merry to be fully grown up at the age of twelve.
As Merry turned from child to young adult he began to seek out Frodo's company more often than before. Peregrin was still only a child and in his world there was no place for adult things. He loved to play and laugh and sing and while Merry did not mind playing with him he now had a need to do more grown up things. He and Frodo would go hiking together, sometimes by themselves, sometimes with Bilbo. Frodo had taken Merry to the inn for the very first time and taught him some drinking songs. Together they read books, discussed maps and Merry even made Frodo go out on the Brandywine and taught him how to swim. Frodo had avoided the river since the death of his parents but Merry had insisted that every smart Hobbit should know how to swim. Sometimes they would just lie on the grass outside Bag End or on one of the Buckland meadows, watching the clouds sail by and talk about everything under the sun. They would confide things in one another, Frodo still found Merry to be the most trustworthy person in his life save for perhaps Bilbo.
Frodo knew that he spent more time with Merry now than Merry spent together with Pippin. At first he had assumed things would naturally go back to how they had been before Pippin was born, especially now that Merry and Frodo felt to be around the same age it seemed only natural that they would be as close as ever before. And they were close, but somehow Frodo could sense that Merry had not grown further apart from Pippin in the process of becoming a young adult.
One day when the two were lying out on the roof of Bag End, smoking their pipes and looking at the sky, Frodo felt he needed to address this particular issue.
"I haven't seen young Pippin in a while" he said. "How is he doing?"
"He's doing just fine" Merry said with a smile. "He has trouble sitting still at school but aside from that he's doing great."
"Figures he would be fidgety" Frodo said. "Sometimes I wonder Merry… I wonder if it was my move here that changed everything. That I changed things forever between you and me and made it possible for him to come in and fill that space."
"Huh?" Merry said and turned his head to look at his friend.
"You and I were the closest of friends. I thought when I moved here that nothing would be able to change that, for even though I had Bilbo it was a different kind of friendship. He is more like a parent and you are more like a brother."
"Aren't I still?" Merry asked and took a puff on his pipe.
"Yes you are. But it's not the same. For eight years now it hasn't been the same, not since I moved out and since Pippin was born. I suppose with me gone you needed someone to fill my space on a more daily basis, and with him being born just around that time it was only natural that he ended up taking my place. Though I often wonder, would you have even cared more for him than as a distant relative if I had not moved?"
"What are you saying?" Merry asked.
"I guess I'm saying part of me wishes I hadn't moved when I did, that I would have waited at least another two years. I feel like I more or less invited Pippin in to take my place in your life."
"You don't like Pippin?"
"Of course I like Pippin, how could I not?"
With a trace of sadness Frodo saw Merry's face lit up at the praise of his best friend.
"I can tell you that Pippin is mighty fond of you too" Merry said. "We both are. He may be just a child but he's got a lot of devotion in him and I can tell he will stay devoted to you. You don't treat him as a baby; he doesn't have to feel like such a child around you. He loves and respects you for that."
Frodo had never thought of it that way. He had never even thought that perhaps Pippin was sometimes bothered by his own childlike spirit and wanted to be older and more mature than he was. Merry seemed to understand things about Pippin that Frodo could not even begin to guess. And likewise Pippin seemed to understand Merry where Frodo failed. Frodo remembered very clearly how a few months back Pippin had casually said to him that Merry had a good deal of childlikeness and fun in him, but you had to lure it out, for his parents had taught him to be mature and adult from a very young age. It had never occurred to Frodo that Merry might have a lot of playfulness in him but it was kept on a leash by his upbringing.
XX
XX
Another ten years went by, and by that time Frodo was alone. Bilbo had left to live with the Elves and he had left Frodo Bag End and an old ring. With Bilbo gone Frodo was sometimes lonesome, but he had a number of friends who were often there to keep him company. Merry was the most common guest, often together with Pippin but sometimes on his own. Fredegar Bolger and Folco Boffin were two other familiar faces at the old Hobbit hole, plus a number of others who visited him every once in a while.
By this time Pippin had grown older and began to turn into a young adult, though he was still much the same as he had always been. The only real change was that as he grew older he and Merry became closer again, now that Merry could look to Pippin for the kind of activities he had used to do with Frodo. Frodo could see however that with ageing Pippin grew a bit more serious. Perhaps it was the unspoken knowledge that he would someday become the heir to the Thain of Tuckburough, as his father was the next of kin to Thain Ferumbras III who had no wife and thus no children. Exactly how he had escaped the bonds of arranged marriage was unclear, but as he had passed his 90th birthday it was quite clear that no son of his would ever be born. With the knowledge that young Peregrin would someday be a Thain his upbringing changed its course and took a more serious turn. The change strangely seemed to be fitting Pippin well, even though he was still as fun-loving as ever he could be quite mature when he needed to be.
In the year 1408 Master Rorimac, called Old Rory by now, passed on at an honourable age of 106. His son Saradoc Brandybuck became the new Master of Buckland and the 26 year-old Meriadoc the new heir. Merry didn't seem to feel the change much, during the last three years of his life Old Rory had been ill and weak, and Saradoc had more or less taken over all his duties already. For Merry's part nothing really changed yet anyhow, until he was 33 he did not have any responsibilities other than those he took upon himself, and aside from the hours he spent studying herblore he was not home at Brandy Hall very much. Most of his time was spent in Hobbiton or Tuckburough, with his friends.
Shortly after Saradoc's official Mastership began Frodo took Merry, Pippin and Folco Boffin out to the Green Dragon for a round of ales and some singing. Folco and Pippin immediately found their way up on a table where they began to sing one song after the other, while Frodo and Merry retreated to a table in the corner where they could avoid the gossiping whispers of the Hobbits around them. Merry and Pippin both knew their families were considered weird in Hobbiton, in fact in most parts of the Shire save for their own, and there were always those who resented them coming to honest establishments in Hobbiton. Pippin didn't seem bothered by that one little bit but Merry frowned upon it and preferred to stay out of the limelight.
"Cousin Saradoc must have his hands full now" Frodo said and handed Merry a tankard of ale. "I remember when I was little and lived at Brandy Hall, Old Rory always kept everybody busy because it decreased his own work load. Has Cousin Saradoc made similar arrangements yet, or does he run most of it on his own?"
"I think right now he's mainly trying to find a nice way of spending all the money Grandpa had come in" Merry said. "Two days ago I heard him talking about delving a new hall in the south end, and some talk about how the stables ought to be renovated. I think it's gotten a bit to his head that suddenly he has more money than just his own to spend."
"What about your money, did you inherit a lot from your grandfather?"
"Enough to keep me from having to want anything" Merry said and shrugged his shoulder. "I'm not sure what to do with it so I'll just save it for now. I don't need all that much money, other than to eat out when I'm at fine establishments such as this."
"At least you don't have vultures pestering you about where the money came from and where you might have hidden it" Frodo said with a laugh.
"That's true" Merry said with a nod, then glanced over at their two friends on the table. "We'd better go stop these two singers, it looks like Folco is about to lose his balance!"
"Save them? I say we join them!" Frodo said and grabbed Merry by the arm. "Come along Meriadoc; don't tell me you're too shy to carry a tune in public."
Merry followed him towards the table where Pippin and Folco were singing, and when they got closer he joined in with their signing and skipped the last few paces to the table. Pippin reached out a hand to him and pulled him up on the table, with Frodo behind. With four Hobbits on one table it was getting quite crowded and Pippin and Merry soon jumped down on the floor again, full of laughter from having had to try so hard to keep their balance.
"What would the Master say if he saw you dancing like that?" Pippin asked through his laughter.
"He would probably tell me I was doing it wrong, and get up there and show me how to do it properly" Merry grinned. "A little known fact about my father is that he loves to sing and dance! Especially when my mother is present, for he knows she finds it embarrassing."
"Poor Aunt Esmeralda" Pippin laughed. "Both her husband and her son being so mad about dancing and singing on tables!"
"We can't hold a candle to these two though" Merry said and nodded to Frodo and Folco who were dancing around and singing one of Bilbo's favourite songs.
"I think you might be right."
They went back to their table and Pippin was just about to dive into another tankard of ale when Merry pulled it away from him and told him he had had enough for one evening.
"When you become a tween you can have as much ale as you like, until then you can drink water" he said and ignored the angry look his cousin gave him.
"You drank ale when you were fifteen" Pippin reminded him.
"Yes but unlike you I know when to stop."
After a while Frodo and Folco had had enough of singing for now and came back to the table in the corner. Through laughter and jokes Folco told them all a funny story that had happened last year when his parents tried to catch a pig to have it slaughtered. Frodo and Merry knew the tale well but Pippin had never heard it before and it didn't take long for them to begin to retell other stories as well.
Frodo smiled widely and wished he could keep nights like this one in his memory forever. His friends were all so young and innocent and knew nothing of the troubles Frodo had begun to see on the horizon. The ring he had been given by Bilbo, and the words he had been told by Gandalf the Wizard, gave him an odd feeling, similar to the one that had overcome him that day nearly 26 years before when Merry was born. At least he knew that whatever troubles might be coming his way, these three Hobbits would never know anything about them. He had not told a soul about his worries, not even Merry, and he intended to keep it that way. But this night was not the time to think of things like that. This night belonged to the four of them, friends and companions, young and full of life.
XX
XX
When sixteen years had passed since Bilbo left the Shire and Frodo inherited Bag End it was Pippin's turn to have a sudden great change in his life. The Thain Ferumbras III died and the title of Thain and all that went with it passed to his third cousin Paladin, or Paladin II as he would be known from now on. Peregrin became Young Master Peregrin of the Smials and heir to the title of The Took and Thain. To his friends the 25 year-old confessed that he assumed he wouldn't have to wait long to inherit the title. His father would be 82 that year and Pippin only hoped he would remain lucid long enough for Pippin to turn 33 before he had to take on the duties of Thain and Took.
One who would turn 33 that very year was Merry, and his coming of age party would be celebrated at Brandy Hall in late November. The Hobbits of Buckland had looked forward to the occasion, any occasion to throw a huge party was good news to their ears, but when the old Thain died they couldn't help but cheer. The appointing of Paladin Took as the new Thain and Took would be the cause of a huge party no doubt, and since his sister was Madam of Buckland the Bucklanders would no doubt be expected to be there. Suddenly Merry's upcoming birthday, his coming-of-age day, turned into just one out of many great events of the year and Frodo was told by Pippin that in secret Merry was quite annoyed with having his most important birthday upstaged by his uncle's installation party.
Frodo received an invitation to Thain Paladin III's big celebration, more of the account of being Young Master Peregrin's close friend than by anything else, and attended the big party which was held in August. It was a warm summer evening, and the meadow near the Smials had been turned into a huge party area which had probably had Bilbo's great party as its inspiration. Everywhere there were tables with food and barrels of ale, a huge orchestra had settled down in the east corner and banners had been put up all around the place. Frodo admired the scene around him and exchanged a glance with Merry, who had also thought it was merely a pale copy of Bilbo's 111th birthday party.
"At least the ale is good" he said, half in jest, and wondered who had put all these banners up.
"I hear the wine is just as nice" Merry said. "Uncle Paladin apparently dug deep into old Ferumbras' wine cellars and brought up the best bottles for this feast."
"Shouldn't we go and secure our share of it then, before it's all gone?" Frodo asked.
"No need. Pippin snuck in to Uncle's beverage tent last night and brought the five best bottles with him. We won't have to settle for anything less than the best."
Frodo nodded and grinned. Trust Pippin to ensure that he and his friends would have the best of everything for an evening like this.
Pippin was however not easy to find on this particular evening. He darted from one place to the other, entertaining himself with probably every member of the Took clan and a few Brandybucks, dancing and cheering and making conversation with people left right and centre. Frodo and Merry kept to themselves by one of the ale stands and didn't pay much attention to where Pippin was or what he was doing. Frodo found it a relief to have Merry by his side throughout the evening with little sight of the young Took. No matter how much he cared for Pippin there was still a trace of jealousy that would never quite leave him, and he was happy to have Merry to himself.
The two stayed in their corner, watching the party, through some silent agreement taking no active part in it themselves. Merry was not in the mood for partying, he preferred saving himself for his own birthday bash later in the year, and Frodo had once again been overcome by the odd feeling that things were going to change before long. Sometimes he wished he could talk to Merry about it, but he knew that he couldn't let his cousin in on what he was thinking or risk putting him in harms way. The less the other Hobbit knew the better.
After a good while Pippin seemed to have spoken to, danced with or bowed to every single Hobbit at the party and he came up to Frodo and Merry with a grin on his face.
"I hope you two haven't gone and filled those bottomless pits you call stomachs yet!" he said.
"Hard to fill a bottomless pit" Frodo replied.
Pippin grabbed them by one hand each and led away with them to a tent in the outskirts of the party while chatting happily along the way.
"Fatty Bolger is waiting for us, and Folco Boffin and a few others. No Merry, not Daisy Chubb, I know you aren't courting her anymore. It's just us lads, and I have a surprise for you!"
"Fireworks?" Frodo hoped.
"Wine" Merry assumed.
"Well, among other things, but shush or you will spoil the surprise!"
Pippin led them to a tent where Fatty, Folco and two other Hobbits were waiting. The sides of the tent had been firmly bolted to the ground and there was a lock hanging on the tent opening, oddly enough managing to keep people out just by it's mere presence. Pippin fished out a key and removed the lock, then held up the cloth for them to step inside.
"A little private party, just for us" he said.
The other Hobbits stepped inside and gasped at the sight of a table set with the finest courses from the buffet and five bottles of grand wine. Pippin had shamelessly stolen the best the party had to offer, including his mother's favourite china, and set up a private supper for just him and his closest friends. He lit the candles on the table and urged the others to sit down.
"Amazing job, old Pip!" Folco said and nearly drooled at the sight of the large ham. "Trust you to arrange such a feast!"
"I must say you've outdone yourself to arrange such a feast in the middle of another feast" Frodo said and reached for the jams.
"Well tonight I join my cousin Merry in being the heir to a title and a job which I all think we can agree Merry will be better suited for than me" Pippin said with a good-natured grin. "That is a reason to celebrate, as good as any, and this feels more fitting than a grand party like the one my father is throwing."
"Does that mean that when you're Thain you will invite us to a private dinner instead of a huge party?" Fatty asked.
"Yes probably, but let's hope it won't be too soon, and that we perhaps might be dining together with our wives instead of like a bunch of bachelors. Not that I mind being just the lads, but a bit of female company always lightens the mood."
"You don't count as a bachelor, you're too young" Fatty said.
"Silence that mouth of yours with food Fatty, there is plenty to go around."
"Wait, we must have a toast first" Merry objected, his mouth already full of mashed potatoes.
The seven Hobbits made sure they all had wine in their glasses and lifted them up to the roof. Merry swallowed his mouthful and rose to make the toast.
"To my little cousin, who on this day becomes the Thain's heir, help us all!"
"Thank you" Pippin said and stuck his tongue out.
"To Pip!"
The seven of them toasted to Pippin, and then Folco felt the need to throw in a toast for Merry, prompting Frodo to toast to Folco and it went on like that until everybody had gotten a toast and the glasses were empty. One bottle had been emptied already and Pippin received teasing comments on how he had stolen far too little for seven Hobbits.
Frodo sat back and looked at his two young friends. As if by a given signal they turned and looked at each other, sharing a smile and an understanding over something Frodo knew he would never comprehend. Tonight it was clearer than ever that these two Hobbits had a bond which Frodo might have had with Merry at one point, but it was too late now. Yet at this moment he could not begrudge them their bond, he loved them both and when the two of them turned and smiled at him he knew that he would always be welcome to be at their side. Neither Merry nor Pippin seemed to even understand that they had a bond that was special, it was obvious to everyone but them, to them it was too natural. And in their eyes Frodo was as good a friend as they'd ever know and Frodo knew with full certainty that they would be there for him throughout his life.
Not even the lingering thoughts of darkness he had carried on and of for the past years could bring him down tonight. He had seen both Merry and Pippin throughout their lives, known them since they were still months away from being born, and he had seen them grow into the Hobbits that they were today. Somehow he felt like whatever changed around him these two would not change. Come rain, come shine these two would still be here, like he saw them now, always in the Shire and always jesting and smiling and full with a love for life which had been in them both since Pippin was born. It was incomprehensible to Frodo that life would ever change for this pair, and he couldn't imagine any trouble ever coming over them.
Had he known this evening what lied in the future for all three of them he would not have believed it. Later in life he would often look back at this night and wish that he could have stopped time at that moment.
XX
XX
Fourteen year-old Frodo snuck through the Master Halls into the room where Saradoc and Esmeralda slept. He paid no notion to the two adults in the bed, other than to make sure that they were sleeping; he was more interested in the baby that he had been shown for the first time earlier in the day. He thought that perhaps if he took a closer look he would be able to see what the grown-ups saw, maybe he had just discarded the little baby too fast.
He stood up on his tiptoes and looked down at the baby, who was awake but not screaming. He studied the child long and hard and wondered how anybody could care for such a little thing.
"What's so magnificent about you anyways?" he whispered.
He tiptoed out of the room back towards his own bedroom, confident that he would never care a bit for the latest addition to the Brandybuck family.
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End note: Well there it is… I hope you enjoyed it and I would love a review. Positive and constructive criticism is welcome. If you didn't like it feel more than free to tell me so, but if you don't tell me what I can improve then there's not much use. Thank you for reading!
