Thinking

Part one 1:

I smell the air for any species of animal near and soon enough an unlucky bear catches my attention. Jasper my love was hunting farther away from me, scared he might disgust me, well that should be me who is scared of letting him see me; my hair dirty with twigs stuck in them, cloth ripped, face furious in the dark, and how my reflection terrifies me…Crimson eyes of a killer is loose but there is something that I really want and if my heart were to beat I would "love" it so much more then my life. Every one thinks of me as either weird or annoying and don't blame them…I see Renesme and I think of myself, I long for a baby.

If I could I'd cry. I wish I could sleep so my mind can stop dwelling on this subject I hate the most. Edward has never tried to dig deep before but now each time he and Jasper see my eye brows furrow they seem more and more worried. I have to keep a wall up and fake my feelings from the outside in.

"Rosalie…I need to ask you something" "what is it you usually aren't this serious" she joked. "I pouted and then I hesitated…I-I really been thinking and I really want a child more then anything. My life has been so care free with no meaning." She sighed "I know what you mean but there will be no way for you to get a child unless a new born happens to stumble your way. I do not want you to do something rash and regret it later." My frowned deepened.

I ran out of the door and into Jasper's room. I rolled into a ball on his couch and waited until he was back…waited...Waited… "Alice? What are you doing here" a familiar warm voice asked. "Jasper...I really need to talk to you…" his power was over me, slowly I felt calm again, the first time in so long. "I love you Alice, so I will listen even if it hurts me." He said depressed and if he had bunny ears they probably droop down. "sweet Jasper I Love you so much more then you can imagine but I really need you to know what I need right now…a-a B-Baby." He honestly smiled at me with feeling and then guilt rushed in my body, I've pretended so many times for months now. "I'm sorry for keeping you out for so long I just needed time to think." He just nodded.

~xXx-xXx

I was playing with the Nessie until the whole family came to speak with me. "Alice..Umm we wanted to say…."Edward started, then Carlisle continued "we wanted to say we support you about wanting a child so don't hide things anymore. I've heard of a vampire child in Canada witch they have diagnose a mysterious case of some defect and we can go and see the child." I smiled a weak smile. "YES!" I shrieked

We all except Bella Edward and Renesme stayed back at the Cullen's residence.

Edward was sad that I didn't say or think any thing but supported me anyways.