A/N: two stories in one night. making up for the lost time I suppose. Hope you enjoy this one its a little sad. And probably very rough but hope you like.

And at the end of my life. When all my days have been lived and every breath has been breathed, I Leah Clearwater truly died alone knowing no love no happiness and yet my death was better than my life.

I know you may be thinking how did you live like that don't you have family and friends? Weren't people there to say goodbye? Well the truth was people were there people did cry, even made nice little speeches over my deathbed but that didn't matter it didn't change anything. They were just compensating.

Edward's 'sadness' and comments about my pure and kind mind that was hidden and waiting to be truly unravelled and discovered.

Or Bella's monologue referring to my, "pride Courage and loyalty that meant I would protect those I loved."

Evens Seth's remarks about how I was a good sister who he should have told more often that he loved me and was proud. They weren't about me or for me it was for their own selfish need. So they could delude themselves into thinking they didn't dessert me when they thought I'd be there forever. They no longer mattered.

They may have mattered to me at some stage but it's too late for that. Now they are empty words born from regret and missed chances.

But I knew by the end of the day I wouldn't be here, wouldn't feel anything so I let them say what they thought they had to. I let them use me once again to get their closure. Whilst I lay there thinking back before guilt overshadowed everyone's words. A time when Leah was going to Live forever and so didn't matter. When I could walk through the entire reservation and not one person would notice a time when I could walk right through a group of people and them notice no more than if I was wind. You see everyone's last speeches all had one thing in common had an "if only". If only I told you before Leah.

If they meant it they would have, not now not when I don't need it but back then back when I did. Back when I had to tight to get out bed every morning back when I would drink so much to fill the emptiness that I would wake up in a pike of my own vomit and still no one helped. Worse no one noticed.

So yes they could all pretend they are making this better by being here and no one would know any better about my thoughts. Except Edward but even with his kind words and his mindreading he still doesn't hear me. I don't matter only his heartbroken wife and daughter.

The only person that has remained truthful and honest to the end is mum.

She's not here in the room of people but with the person she really loved. Charlie the only person that matters at least not even my death has changed that

.

So I float up. I can't see where I'm going but every inch I move further away the more I notice every useless word I ever heard fly out my head swirling and rattling around before falling. Once the "I love you Leah's" drift back to earth, not a second care is given. Finally I arrive it's not perfect here or even finished it didn't even have people. No this was my heaven the one place in which no one ever come near me or speak. useless words. Here there is no dad, no ancestors.

Instead Leah's heaven was a small room where no one can enter and hurt her further and all though Leah's heaven was empty it was less lonely then Leah's life.

A/N: wrote this when I was going through a dark sort of time. But I hope you like it. So please leave me a comment and let me know what you think.