Pain. That was all Leia felt. Excruciating pain that ran through her entire body. She attempted to scream, but no sounds came out. Or, at least she didn't hear her screams. She couldn't tell what was even happening anymore, as pain continued to make her entire body convulse and twitch. With tears streaming down her face, she tilted her head up to see Darth Vader and several other unidentifiable figures watching her. Leia closed her eyes and shook her head, wishing to be free from this pain. Pain that was like knives digging into her skin, clawing and tearing her insides out. Pain that was like severe burns, festering and bubbling over her entire body. She wished it would stop. She wished it could all be over.
All she saw was darkness and several shadowy figures looming over her, scrutinizing her like she was a filthy animal. She might as well be one too, for that's how she was getting treated. Her mind was numb and she couldn't think straight. She couldn't think about anything at all, except for how much she wanted to be free. She heard the mumbled voice of Darth Vader sputtering a command, and she hoped this was finally ending. Leia was wrong.
From the corner of her eye, a bright orange light illuminated the dark room, and suddenly the pain she felt skyrocketed to a whole new level. Leia felt as if all the air in her lungs had escaped. She gasped, her heart racing as she desperately tried to reach for air. She panicked, anxiety and fear consuming her mind as tears streaked down her face. Leia continued gasping for the air that never reached her lungs, when suddenly, a warm hand extended out to her and grabbed her face. "Leia!" A voice called out. "Sweetheart!"
Leia shot up from bed, sweat covering her entire body as she screamed out. Air rushed into her lungs as she desperately tried to fill them. She continued shaking, still unsure of where she was, until a calming voice instantly soothed her. "Leia, sweetheart." Finally, she stopped shaking and turned her head slightly to see Han Solo sitting up in bed next to her. "Another nightmare?" He asked gently, placing a supportive hand on her back. All she could do was nod. Leia's heart was racing and her stomach was in knots. Han pulled her into his lap as she buried her face into his bare chest, in such a state of shock and fear that all she could do was silently tremble. He kissed the top of her forehead and gently held her close to him. His warm body pressed against her gave her a feeling of reassurance and security, and she finally spoke.
"I-I'm sorry." She stuttered. "I-I thought…I thought I finally stopped getting nightmares from…" She trailed off as she recalled the terrible things that happened to her on the dreaded Death Star. Han wrapped his arms around her tighter and gave her a light squeeze.
"Leia, it's okay. It was just a dream." He spoke in a low voice that instantly calmed her nerves. Han was now used to Leia regularly waking up from nightmares, so luckily he became a pro at calming her down. "It's over now. You don't have to worry, you're safe."
"It's been three years…" Leia pulled back from Han's embrace and faced to look at him, drops of sweat rolling down her face. Even in this state, Han thought she was the most beautiful girl in the entire galaxy. "What's wrong with me?" Those words hurt Han. They pierced his chest and stung him. He knew plenty of people who suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and it can take a while for a person to fully recover from it, especially a person who didn't receive proper treatment, like Leia. After her torture, she was thrown into a cell to be executed where she was later rescued by him and Luke. She had no chance to get proper treatment.
"Sweetheart, nothing is wrong with you." Han put a reassuring hand on hers, and looked into her deep brown eyes. "Don't ever say something is wrong with you, because there isn't. You're strong, and a leader to not only me but the entire Rebellion. You are quick on your feet, and know how to fight. You have a strong heart, and you never give up, especially on your friends." Han took a deep breath before saying what was to follow. "You suffer from PTSD, which is normal, especially for what you went through. Nothing is wrong with you." No matter how many times Han told Leia the same thing, over and over, she still wouldn't believe him.
Leia needed to be strong, not only for the Rebellion, but for herself. She needed to prove to herself that she was a leader. Even though everyone already did know she was a resilient leader, she didn't believe it. She still had flaws, and that made her a target. Han's voice broke her train of thought.
"Nobody is perfect, sweetheart. Well, except for maybe the droids. But even C-3PO said R2 is known for making mistakes sometimes." The mention of her two robotic friends brought a small smile to Leia's face. Han continued, "We're all just trying our best, because ultimately that's all we can do. I constantly make mistakes, heck, I'm probably the most flawed person in the entire galaxy. But I don't let that stop me from achieving all that I can, and the same goes for you too."
Leia nodded. "You're right. It's just from such a young age I was taught to put my emotions behind my work. No one needed to have an emotional Princess representing their home planet. So I learned to conceal my feelings, and put my work first." From what Leia had told Han, her childhood on Alderaan was not the most fun. It involved a lot of private tutors and lessons and reading about how to rule a planet. "But things are different, times have changed." Leia looked at Han. "For example, I have you now, and I never thought I'd have you." Han smiled and wrapped an arm around her.
"You make me so happy Leia," Han whispered as he brought his lips to hers, kissing them gently and slowly. Leia kissed back, leaning into him. Han was delighted to see a small smile appearing across her face. "Do you feel any better?" Han asked rubbing her back.
Leia nodded and leaned her head into his chest, and the two laid down. Feeling very safe in Han's arms, Leia felt herself becoming drowsy. "I love you," she whispered.
"I know," Han replied smiling. "I love you too."
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