Truth or Dare~!
A/n: Okay so this is just some stupid shit I wrote at 7:01 in the morning... I feel like a bloody insomniac... Enjoy!
xxxxx
It was a slow day in the Shinigami Dispatch Unit. There hadn't been many deaths lately due to some health vitamin, and even Grell had been able to finish his paperwork—there was that little paperwork. Stupid 21 century medicine.
"Wirru! I'm bored~!" Grell whined looking at his stoic love interest. William simply grunted and continued to search the turned in paperwork for mistakes. There. Was. None.
"WIRRU~!" The flamboyant redhead jumped on the raven's desk.
"Mr. Sutcliff there is nothing I can do for you. You're only bored because you chose to be bored. That's not my fault."
"AGHHHH! So bored!" He rolled off William's desk and walked around the large office.
"Sounds like a you problem." Ronald snickered finishing off his newest can of soda.
"Oh come off it Ron." Eric grinned poking an unsuspecting Alan's face. "Your face is squishy Al." Alan blushed and smiled at Eric's oddness.
"It truly is a boring day~" Undertaker drooled, sticking his fingers into one of Ronald's sodas.
"HEY! THAT'S MINE!" Ronald jumped at Undertaker only to be caught in a loving hug. The blonde blushed and half-heartedly shoved the silverette away.
"Let me go Undie."
"Why should I? I'm bored and you're my source of entertainment."
"This is PDA."
"Public Drinking Area?"
"No! Public Display of Affection!"
"That's PDoA."
"You know what..."
"Maybe we should play a game?" Alan suggested trying not to laugh at Ronald's uncomfortableness.
"Great idea Ally!" Eric smiled at Alan's embarrassment.
"Agreed." William nodded his head.
So they played games. First they tried Monopoly. That didn't work because they fought over the playing pieces and Grell was broke within the first three turns. Then they tried playing Twister, but everyone was too afraid to touch each other. Specific moments of this was:
"Stop touching me Sutcliff."
"Keep your mouth to yourself Sutcliff."
"UNDIE!"
"ERIC!"
"This sucks man. Grell's a pervert and Eric must've elbowed me six times now..." Ronald rubbed the back of his sore head.
"Why don't we play truth or dare?" Alan suggested once more.
"I don't know... things tend to get out of control..." The supervisor gave the brunette a doubtful look.
"It'll be fun William. Hehe he~" Undertaker smiled as he begin to plot his evil.
"Fine, but I'm going first. Sutcliff, truth or dare?"
"Dare of course Willy. A woman has to be daring~" Grell smiled confidently and pursed his blood red lips.
"Staple your mouth shut."
Immediately the smile fell from his face and he faced the stapler. What was usually a normal office supply seemed dark and foreboding.
"Will you bastard." He quickly picked up the stapler, placed it over his lips, and gave it a quick "snap".
"Owwww! Mnnnhhhhh!"
The pained reaper quickly pulled out the staples and gave his love a dirty look.
"Slingby, turn or dare?"
"Dare." He had to seem manly for Alan after all.
"Shave your legs for all to see."
Eric's face drained in colour. He wasn't a hairy man, but shaving in front of others? That was just wrong.
Alan giggled Eric shot him a look which looked more like an embarrassed school boy than anything, which made his "best friend" *cough* love interest *cough* laugh even more.
"Shut up Alan."
He quickly took the razor and cream from Grell and rolled up his pant leg. Undertaker laughed in delight.
"This hehe is the best part, ha!"
Eric ignored him and sprayed the cream on his leg. It was cold and smelled like strawberries. He quickly ran the razor up his leg a few times until the cream was gone and pulled down the pant leg.
"There, done." He went to the bathroom and cleaned off the razor. Very irritably the handsome reaper threw the supply back at his fucktard of a coworker.
"Alright Undertaker, truth or dare."
"Truth."
Eric frowned. He wasn't expecting that.
"Okay, what's the grossest thing you've ever done?"
"Fucked a dead pussy."
Everyone's eyes widened.
"Excuse me?" Grell and Alan asked at the same time.
"She'd been my current girlfriend and we'd been planning to have sex. Then she died in a speeding accident. I was sad so I fucked her~ Hehe. Her parents caught me~ They had heart attacks and died on the spot~"
Ronald pouted slightly. He didn't like hearing about his Undie porking some chick.
"Don't be upset my little kitten, for you've been around yourself, have you not?" Long black nails tilted up said "kitten's" face.
"S-Shut up and choose somebody!"
"Ronnie dearie, truth or dare~?"
"Dare."
"Scoot your butt across the carpet like you have fleas hehe~"
Ronald flushed and scooted his butt around his coworkers (who were sitting in a circle) slowly.
"Aw rub burn." Halfway back to where he started... "OW OW OW!" Back to where he was before.
"Mr. Alan! Truth or dare?!" There was no way he was getting out of this by being quiet.
"Dare?" Maybe this was a bad idea after all.
"Sing a song."
"I can't sing..."
"SING DAMMIT!"
"Okay!"
So Alan sang Final Distance by Utada Hikaru. (look it up) He sang pretty damn well in Eric's opinion. Then again Alan could never do wrong in Eric's eyes.
"Misses Grell, truth or dare?" Alan asked after he'd gotten over his initial embarrassment.
"Truth darling~"
"Do you really love Mr. Spears?"
"Welllll~! I do love my little Wirru, and I do love my Sebas-Chan~!" Grell paused and gave an extra emphasis at the last word. "But I love Wirru more, even if he doesn't like me back."
"Awww~!"
"Eric darling~ Truth or dare?"
"Aw shit, truth I guess."
"Have you ever gotten eaten out?"
"It... Was... A. Dare."
"Holy hell." Ronald shut his mind down in fear of mental images that might forever scar him.
Will's face- :/
Undertaker's face- :$
Ronald's face- O.o
Grell's face- 8)
Alan's face- /
Eric's face- ^/^
"William. Truth. or. Dare."
"Dare."
"Take your pants off, and put on a THONG for two turns."
"..."
William took the red thong Grell gave him (what does Grell have, a wonder purse?) and went into the bathroom. He returned in a red zebra striped thong and sat down. He looked just as stoic as ever, just with less clothing on.
"Knox, truth or dare?"
"Anything."
"Dare then. Take off your socks and stick your foot in Mr. Slingby's mouth."
"He's gonna bite the hell outta me brah."
"Damn straight I fucking am. If he steps in, Undie the foot comes off."
"You gotta do it~" Grell chimed in with a dangerous look. There was no way they wanted Grellé up their asses.
"Only one turn." William smiled evilly.
"Knox..." Eric growled.
"Sorry man, but Grellé's a killer."
Ronald eased his foot into Eric's mouth and frowned. It was hot and wet in there. Kinda like a pussy.
*CRUNCH*
"HOLY MARY'S HOT PUSSY THAT HURT!"
"Hurry up Knox." That thong was riding up the wrong places.
"Holy Shit in the lord's garbage bag this hurts... Ermm... Undie! T-T-Truth or—"
*CRUNCH*
"AAARGHHH SPERM UP SATAN'S DICKHOLE! OH, OH MY RE THIS HURTS! I'M IN HELL PEOPLE! TRUTH OR DARE DAMMIT!"
"Dare."
"PUT BOTH YOUR LEGS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!"
Like an expert, Undertaker threw both his legs behind his head. William stalked off to the bathroom (walking backwards. He had a terrible wedgie), and Ronald yanked his foot out of Eric's mouth.
"Bleh, Grell, got any toothpaste in your wonder purse?" Grell handed Eric the toothpaste and Ronald went to treat his bleeding foot. Eric ran to the bathroom.
"Grell my flower, truth or dare~?"
"Dare of course~"
"When William comes back in here, twerk on him."
"Ah~!" Grell screeched in happiness, "I would love to Undie darling thank you so, so, so much~!" He giggled (more like screeched again) and wiggled furiously. "Ah~! It's spreading! It's spreading!" Grell giggled to no one in particular.
"What, the insanity?" Ronald asked when he returned, rubbing the sore wound.
"Ebehehehehehehwahahahahaha~!"
William returned to the room to be twerked on. His face was a brilliant shade of red and he could only repress the moans. Grell obviously had experience in this area and was quite an expert at the strange dance. William turned on his heel and walked back into the bathroom after the wonderful experience was over.
"Whelp, we know what's he's in there doing." Eric smirked.
"Humphries~! Or should I say Mrs. Slingby~!" Grell purred and laid on the floor quite erotically. "Truth or dare?"
"Uhm... Truth?" Grell was tricky. He'd either dive straight into something, or beat around the bush and build tension for his own amusement.
"Ugh, Alan Darling, you should grow a pair, then stop playing with that little pussy of yours," The redhead sighed and rolled over, "What is the most sexual thing you've ever done with Eric?"
Ronald giggled as William re-entered the room.
"..."
"Get your hands out your pussy and answer me dammit!"
"N-Nothing really..."
"Well tell me about it! Come on Alan! My patience is running out~!" Grell smiled evilly and shook his finger. "Tik, tok, tik, tok."
"J-Just kissing..."
"Whelp, that's all I need to hear." The readhead stomped over to Alan, (Alerting Eric of course) grabbed the small brunette by the scruff of his shirt, and dragged him over to Eric. Eric was shocked for a couple of seconds before growling. Grell then dumped Alan on top of Eric, then made Alan literally hump the blonde with simple movements of his hands.
"BWAHAHAHA!" Ronald fell off the desk he was perched on.
"BLOODY HELLS!" Alan immediately jumped back (thanks to his years of ballet and karate) and held himself.
"Misses Grell! Why would you do that?! You know what, forget it... Sorry Eric... Mr. Undertaker, truth or dare?"
"Dare Alan dear. Hehe, quite a performance there! Ha!"
"Strip naked and do the robot."
Ronald's face- /_\\\\
Grell's face- XD
Eric's face- |:| (Still disturbed)
William's face- -_-
Undertaker's face- OO
Alan- :)
So the Undertaker stripped off his garments and did the robot. Unfortunately it was interpretive dance—it was the darkest robot anyone had ever seen.
"Hehe~"
Ronald seemed most disturbed of all.
"Will I. Am~ Hehe, truth or dare?"
"It's William, and truth."
"How do you really feel about the lovely Ms. Grell?"
"..."
"OHHHHH SHIT!" The two blonde's of the group said in unison. "YA GOTTA ANSWER IT YO!"
"Mr. Surcliff is a very... Interesting individual. However, he is a great companion, coworker, and a rainbow on a rainy day. I do care deeply for him."
"AWWWWW~! OH WILL! I WUB YOU TOO!" Grell tackled William to the floor and snuggled the supervisor (quite adorably in his opinion). "Oh Will, I'm so happy..." The redhead whispered happily, nuzzling his face and head into William's jacket.
"Whatever. " William patted his soon to be lovers head. "Slingby, truth or dare?"
"Errr... Truth."
William was dead ass sure Grell muttered "Pussy" into his jacket.
"What's your deepest darkest secret?"
"Errr. I have stole up to 32 items of Alan's clothes." The tallest member of the group blushed furiously.
"The hell?" Alan gave his friend *cough* boyfriend *cough* a strange look.
"I COULDN'T FUCKING HELP MYSELF!"
"WHERE DID YOU GET MY CLOTHES FROM?!"
"THE FIRST TIME I SPENT THE NIGHT AT YOUR HOUSE! GRELL AND RONALD FUCKING HELPED ME!" Those three were forever spending the night together. "TRUTH OR DARE RONALD!"
"Err dare bro." The blonde casually took a sip of his Orange Crush. (This is why he smelled like it all the damn time)
"Sit on Undie's lap for the rest of the game!" Eric smiled much like a sadist.
"F-Fine. Misses Grell, truth or dare?" Ronald awkwardly got up and placed himself on the ancient reapers lap.
"Dare darling~!" Still in William's jacket.
"L-Leave your dick out for three turns!"
"Nu~!" Grell blushingly pulled it out, "DON'T YOU FUCKING STAND UP YOU ASSHOLE! LAY DOWN!" It took everyone to register whom, or rather what, the redhead was talking to. Grell's penis did as it was told. "Alan Darling, truth or dare?"
"T-Truth..." He tried not to look at the large appendage dangling between Grell's feminine legs.
"Soo, did you like making out with Eric? Make sure you're telling the truth dammit!" Grell growled frustratedly, he was pretty sure his shirt wasn't big enough to cover his... crotch, and his flat chest at the same time. Maybe William's jacket would do?
Alan beamed and sat up straighter. "I love it when me and Eric kiss, Misses Grell, truth or dare?"
"Errr...truth?"
"Tch. Why were you talking to your... Areas, in such a rude manner?"
"Oh. A simple answer to a simple question Alan darling~ 'CAUSE HE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE MADE TO TAINT MY OTHERWISE PERFECT LIFE!" Grell sighed, "See? Simple. Will my luv, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Sooooooooo~! When did you fall in luv with me~?" The redhead giggled and tucked away his penis, then wiggled. "Describe in great detail. What I was doing and why."
"The minute you fell and 'accidentally' groped me. You fell down three flights of stairs afterwords and I couldn't believe you'd go through such great lengths for a grope. Undertaker, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"Drop it like it's hot."
Undertaker smiled and immediately started "dancing" to some beat in his head. He even twerked on everyone, an added bonus. Ronald slowly crawled back into his Undie Bear's lap.
"Eric hon, truth or dare, hehe." A long line of saliva slid down his pale face.
"Err... Dare? Ughhh... I know I'm gonna regret this."
"Go show Alan dear how you realllllyyyyyy feel about him. No words or kisses allowed."
"Oh hell man, I guess I'll try..." Eric got up and pretended to wrestle something, and then pretended to kill something with a knife. He then hugged Alan and squeezed the hell out of the brunette. Then, Eric finally made a heart with his fingers.
"Undie! Truth or dare!"
"Dare."
"Act out how you fell in love with Ronald, include both parts character wise."
"Eyhehehehehyehehehheyehe."
Undertaker went to the fridge and took out a soda. He texted someone on his phone, drank his soda, and burped occasionally. Then he ran to the other side and stared at the soda (where Ronald should've been) and walked over. He sat back down in Ronald's chair and gave the air a "what the heck man?" face. He then ran back around and patted the air Ronald on the head. He then sat back in Ronald's seat and gave a "you're weird" face and stomped off looking at his phone.
"I DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT!" Ronald squealed, flapping his arms much like a bird.
"Slingby truth or dare~"
"Dare? AH DAMMIT!"
Undertaker crawled over to Eric and sexily whispered in his ear. "Go 'confess' your newfound feelings with all your heart to Grell until Alan looks jealous. Eyhehehehehyehehehheyehe."
"Oh. My. GAWD." Eric blushed and walked over to Grell, and took his hand. "Grell, Sutcliff. I'm madly in love with you, I love you more than Alan or anything else in this world," He didn't dare look at the brunette's face. "I know you think I'm doing this as a dare, but I'm not. I just was dared to tell the one I truly love how I feel." He began to kiss up and down the redhead's thin arms lovingly. "You are the most beautiful ruby lady I've ever seen and I'll always love you."
Grell sat there and turned a shade of red he hadn't even turned for William before, and he had turned almost every colour for that man.
William eyes were wide with shock and Alan looked like his mother just bitch slapped him. He quickly got up with his hand over his mouth and left the room. That was TOO MUCH! William whipped out his scythe instantly and shoved Eric back with English brute force. "That's quite enough Mr. Slingby."
"WOAH, WOAH! DUDE, IT WAS A MOTHERFUCKING DARE!" Eric snarled instantly pulling his own scythe out and slapping William's off of himself. "HOLY SHIT!"
Grell and Ronald nodded at each other and sprinted to catch up to Alan. Not before Ronald gave Undertaker and rough kick to the balls. "Asshole." he muttered, following Grell.
Undertaker jumped and grabbed Ronald's legs before he could leave. "A lovable asshole~! Hehehehe" He sweetly kissed the blonde beauty he was holding and pat the blushing uke's head. "I was just helping them get together. They'll live now and laugh about this later. Hehheheheyeye." A little more drool.
"Bleh, don't kiss me then drool bro, that's just weird."
"ALAN! WAIT! IT WAS A DARE!" Grell yelled, chasing the fast walking brunette. He kicked his heels off, and they conveniently hit Eric right in the face.
Alan pretended not to hear them and calculated how long it would take to reach his car. If he ran in about ten seconds, it'd take about fifteen more seconds to find it, automatically unlock it, start the car, strap himself in and leave. Easy...
*VROOM VROOM!*
Grell was on Ronald's lawn mower, and was soon upon him. "ALAN DARLING! WAIT DAMMIT!"
Alan took one step backward so Grell passed him and took another way. Fifteen more seconds...
Grell turned around and leaped, (Much like a flying squirell) then landed on him.
"Was that really necessary?" The brunette rubbed his head and leaned against the nearest wall. He was upset, and when he was upset he got childish. Like crying, and walking away and stuff. "Sorry for the trouble." He could really use a McDonald's apple pie to calm himself down right now.
"It was a dare darling, and yes it was necessary." Grell pulled him into a warm, red velvet cake smelling hug. "It's not your fault, I probably would've reacted the same way, though you are cute when you're upset. If only I could stop eating men, and start eating little boys~!" The brunette's mother figure joked, Alan was surprised to feel warm red hair, flow over him like a cover of blood. "You feel better now darling~?"
"Y-Yeah. Thanks for putting up with me and my childishness~" Alan pulled his legs up into his chest. The last person he wanted to talk to right now was Eric and Alan had a feeling he'd see the blonde soon enough.
"Alright, let's go~!" The crazed reaper grabbed the smaller male and carried him to Ronald's mower. Then drove back. "We mustn't keep the men and Ronald waiting darling~! Tardiness isn't ladylike~!"
"I GOT HIM GUYS~!" Grell yelled, picking Alan up like a McDonald's toy and shaking him for all to see.
As soon as the redhead put him down Eric was instantly upon him, squeezing the life outta the small brunette. "Alan I'm sooooooo sorry! It was just a dare! I didn't mean anything at all!" Alan smiled, hearing Eric's adorable accent.
"It's okay, I overreact a lot."
"Ahem." Grell motioned to Ronald, William and Undertaker. They stared at him like chimps until Grell loudly whispered: "PRIVATE TIME AHEM LET'S GO."
So in then, they left quietly, leaving Alan and Eric alone for their much needed lovey time.
Alan awkwardly poked his fingers together. He didn't know what to say. "Sorry?" He offered in a futile attempt.
"Nah babe. I'm sorry." Eric pulled Alan into another hug and caught him in a sweet lip-lock. "I'm sorry I haven't been man enough to tell you that I truly love you, and I want us to be together." He paused. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yeah! I'm not a girl though." Alan laughed as he jump hugged his *cough* official *cough* boyfriend.
"Boyfriend then, though you'll be the woman in the relationship," Eric pulled his lover closer. "I love you Alan."
"I love you too... Ewic~"
Xxxxxx
A/N-Cute huh? I thought soo~!