Ruri's Mom

A Nadesico Songfic by Jemu Nekketsu

Based on "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne

DISCLAIMER: I don't onwn Nadesico so don't sue ok? Same goes for the other characters.

* * * * *

A bunch of teens were waiting by a stop sign under the blazing summer sun. They were bored, hot and restless. Hari Mabiki was one of them.

He tried striking up a conversation with the others, but no such luck. One brown-haired guy was in a world of his own, listening to his portable casette player. Another one was busy videotaping his tall friend as he sweated and swore under the heat.

There were girls in the waiting group as well. A redhead, seemingly of German descent, was complaining loudly about the stupidity of a roofless bus stop. The blue-haired girl beside her was silent, as usual. She didn't seem to mind the heat.

Then again, it might be a trait that albinos shared. The odd-colored eyes, the pale skin and hair, and the invulnerability to weather effects - well, Ruri Hoshino, object of Hari's youthful desires, possessed them in abundance.

The stupor generated by the mind-numbing heat was broken by the sound of a red convertible pulling up. Driving it was a statuesque woman with luxurious dark blue hair.

"Wow! Hey, Aida, there's someone better you can waste your film on!"

"Is she better-looking than Ikari's guardian or Souryu-san, eh, Suzuhara?"

"See for yourself, fool."

The woman in the car leaned over and opened the passenger door. The boys in the group were treated to a view of long, creamy legs partly hidden by a short white skirt.

"Excuse me," the woman asked in a lilting voice, "Is my little Ruri with your group?"

Ruri stepped forward. "Hello, Mama."

Hari noticed that her cheeks were a little red. She must be embarassed to be called 'little.' "She's seventeen, after all, and not bloody likely to notice a younger, inferior guy like me," Hari thought darkly. "Oh, such painful love..."

His thoughts flew out the windows of his ears as he caught a flash of red when Ruri's mom shifted in her seat to drive, just before Ruri closed the door.

/Ruri's mom has got it goin on

Ruri's mom has got it goin on

Ruri's mom has got it goin on

Ruri's mom has got it goin on/

A burning fever raged inside Hari for the next few days. That flash of red tantalized him, filled his unoccupied moments. He realized that someone was talking to him, and he was confused. "Huh?"

"Hello, Earth to Hari, you still there?"

"Oh, sorry, Kensuke. You were saying?"

"You saw Ruri's mom yesterday, right? Wasn't she hot? I mean, who could've thought moms could look that good?"



"Yeah," a guy with spiky hair and a ponytail, going by the name of Tenchi, butted in. "I mean, my granddad's sisters are - were - uh, pretty, but this is totally different."

"You gotta be kidding me, that would make them, what, your grandmothers?"

"Trust me man, you gotta see my granddad's sisters to believe it."

"I wonder how old Ruri's mom is," Hari wondered out loud.

"She does not look like she has been married, much less given birth," the new student a Sousuke Sagara, piped up.

The class president stood up, signaling the end of the hasty powwow. "The teacher has entered the classroom. All rise. Bow. Sit."

* * * * *

The lessons were more mind-deadening than the heat outside. It was made worse by the perfectly climate-controlled interior of the classroom. Some students began to doze off in the middle of the logarithm exercises the teacher had tasked them.

Hari felt like sleeping as well. He could do ten times this problem set, in quantity and difficulty, while in his sleep. He stole a glance at Ruri. She could do ten times as much as I can. Why does she still look intently on this crap?

"Psst, Aida, what's the answer to number 3?"

"You're still on number 3?"

The teacher must be asleep too, Hari thought, and verified it with a glance. "256 base ten," he said in a stage whisper.

"Thanks, Mabiki," Touji whispered back.

The school bell rang out, and some of the students whooped in undisguised delight. The teacher woke up, checked the time, and stretched, causing about a fourth of the class to nosebleed. "All right, I've decided to make that seatwork into homework. Have it fully answered tomorrow, ok?"

"Yes, Kazami-sensei! Thank you, Kazami-sensei!" the class chorused.

"Kazami-sensei-sama, you're the best!" the nosebleeders cried out, openly worshipping the pink-haired, bespectacled teacher.

Hari made his way to where Ruri was quietly arranging her books and notebooks. It was time to put his plan into action.

/Ruri can I come over after school? (after school)

We can hang around by the pool (hang by the pool)/

Ruri was a little surprised by what Hari had asked her. Strictly speaking, he a 'freak' just like her, but because he looked 'normal' and acted 'normal', he had an easier time making friends. In contrast, the only people she talked to or ever talked to her were also considered class oddities, 'the quiet ones.'

Her first question was, "How did you know we have a pool?"



"Ruri, your mother invited the class over when you first came into the class remember? She said she 'wanted to see her Ruri-ruri's classmates.'"

Ruri grimaced. "Oh, right."

"So, is it ok?"

"We can ask my mom later when she picks me up. Is that acceptable to you?"

Hari's eyes gleamed at the prospect of seeing Ruri's mom again. "Super. Definitely acceptable."

* * * * *

Ruri's mom, whom Hari learned later was named Yurika, did more than agree to have Hari lounge in the pool.

"Why don't the rest of you kids come over as well? You could do this for the rest of summer school! I mean, I hate the way the big house falls silent, with the only noise the buzzing of flies. What with the heat and all, it tends to drive a person nuts."

"Thank you for the inivitation ma'am, but we really couldn't impose mpfhmfphm!"

Touji clamped a hand over the class president's mouth. "What she meant was, we'd love to , but we don't have a truck for all of us to pile into."

"That's easy enough to arrange." Yurika pulled out a megaphone from her purse (!) and called out "Will Ruri's classmates please gather round the car. No pushing now, get as close as possible."

"We're tighter than sardines now!" someone called out.

"No! Please, don't put your finger there!" a girl begged, but no one paid her heed.

One moment they were bunched up by the roadside, and the next they were in the driveway of Ruri's house. The rest of the class eagerly made their way to the cabana and pool. Yurika watched them with a smile, as she leaned heavily on the hood of her car.

"Mom, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Ruri dear."

"I thought Dr. Fressange prescribed no Boson Jumps for a while."

"Well, I felt strong enough earlier, and I thought, let's give it a shot."

"Do you need help getting inside, ma'am?"

The two turned at the sound of the voice. "Oh, Hari, you're still here?" Ruri asked. "You heard, about mom and Boson-"

"Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me. But tell me, can you do it too, Ruri?"

"No. My baby sister can though, and my dad can- could- never mind. Let's just help my Mom inside."

"Okey-dokey."

"You're such a wonderful boy, Hari. You can drop by anytime you want, and you'll always be welcome here," Yurika said as they reached the threshold. "Now, go and join your friends in the pool. And that means you too, Ruri-ruri."

"Mom! Don't call me that anymore!"

"I think it's cute," Hari said smiling.

"See? There's nothing wrong with my petname for you. Even Hari likes it."

Ruri said nothing, just feeling the blood heat up her face.

* * * * *

So it went. The invitation to use their pool was still there, but perhaps a sense of honor and decency reared its head in some of them, and the number of parasites in their pool steadily dwindled.

Hari felt no such scruples, though. Every afternoon he was there, floating in the lounger, special sunglass-mounted minicam over his eyes, waiting for his daily fix of stripteasing.

A car pulled up into the drive and Yurika stepped out, making her way into the house. Hari watch her progress, then clicked the camera on when the door closed. As usual, Yurika appeared in the window facing the pool, blinds half open, and began to disrobe.

/Did your mom get back from her business trip? (business trip)

Is she there or is she tryin to give me the slip? (give me the slip)

You know I'm not the little boy that I used to be

I'm all grown-up now baby can't you see/

/Ruri's mom has got it goin on

She's all I want, and I've waited for so long

Ruri can't you see, you're a bit too small for me.

I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Ruri's mom.

Ruri's mom has got it goin on

Ruri's mom has got it goin on/

* * * * *

One afternoon, Hari came over to Ruri's house, lugging Ruri's bookbag, and saw an Akatsuki Custom parked out in front. "Whoa! Who owns this baby?"

"Did I forget to mention my mom has signed up for a masseur to help rehabilitate her body?"

"What's wrong with your mom's body? I don't see anything she has to rehab." Yeah, your mom's bod is hot! The hottest thing this side of the planet! It's perfect!

"Wait a sec - the masseur owns an - THIS - Akatsuki Custom?"

"Yes, that's Mr. Nagare's ride."

"Wow, this masseur business must pay well. I think I know what I wanna be when I graduate."

They entered by the garden door, and saw Mr. Nagare setting up a table. "What do you know about massage, Hari? You have to be good before people start paying you."

"I'm sure there are some people who would aid me in my quest to gain superior technique. It works both ways - they get a massage, I learn where people like to get poked or rubbed."

"They might charge you for a volunteers' fee."

"That's why," Hari looked at her square in the face, "I'll ask help from people close to me, to let me get my hands on them."

Ruri blushed, then looked away. "I'm sure they'll accept your proposition." She was silent for a while, then "Hari? Can I ask you a favor?"

"Depends. What favor?"

"The lawn needs to be trimmed, and I don't feel up to it. I could do both our homework while you work, then I'll join you later in the pool. Ok with you?"

Hari looked at the table, set up in the middle of the lawn, and then at Yurika making her way toward the long-haired masseur. "Definitely ok."

/Ruri do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (Mowed your lawn)

Your mom came out with just a towel on. (Towel on)

I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (The way she stared)

And the way she said "You missed a spot over there." (Spot over there)/

So, Hari toiled under the heat, working his way closer to the massage table where Yurika lay on her stomach, covered by a towel as Mr. Nagare worked her back. He was mesmerized by all that beautiful skin, and those curves.

He felt eyes watching him. He looked behind him - no, not Ruri, who was under and umbrella and doing their calculus assignment in a tiny shirt and bikini bottom. He swung his gaze and it connected with the masseur's, who was wearing a knowing smile.

He lifted the towel a bit and motioned Hari to work his way to an excellent view point. He did, and what he saw had him dazed. He didn't realize he was moving again.

Yurika yelped and Mr. Nagare cursed as water flew in all directions, causing Ruri to look up from work. Hari had run over a sprinkler head.

/And I know that you think its just a fantasy

But since your dad walked out your mom could use a guy like me/

The next day, Hari came over, and he and Ruri were engaging in Generation X's favorite pastime: getting zombified in front of the TV.

"Ruri?"

"Huh?"

"What did - does - your Dad do?"

"Oh. He works for an airline, NERGALAIR."

"He's a pilot, then?"

"Well, he pilots, but he's the pickiest pilot on the fleet. He won't let food into 'his' plane if it doesn't pass his standards. What do you think of that?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but shut it as he heard soft footsteps padding on the carpet. As one, he and Ruri turned to look behind the couch.

"Hi, mom. Going somewhere?"

"Yes, I am. I'm in need of something from the supermarket. Don't worry, I'll ne right back."

Yurika leaned down from the waist to put her pumps on, and Hari almost bled to death from his nose watching the front of her dress surrender to gravity.

Suddenly, Yurika glanced up. Hari looked away very quickly, pretending to be very interested in the height-enhancing infomercial on the tube, praying that Yurika didn't notice his spying.

/Ruri's mom has got it goin on

She's all I want, and I've waited for so long

Ruri can't you see, you're a bit too small for me

I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Ruri's mom/

* * * * *

"Oh, yeah, she wants me," Hari thought. That bar show sequence with the pole on the last time he went over to their house was proof of that. He even had a medical checkup confirm that he wasn't suffering from hallucinations nor was he delusional.

He was heading over again now. He supposed he ought to feel a little bit guilty for leading Ruri on; he knew instinctively that Ruri was looking at him less as a younger friend and more as a possible younger boyfriend.

It wasn't that he found her unappealing; he had a crush on her once, didn't he? Somehow, his taste changed from young, delicate albinos to more lively, spirited, more mature women.

"Face it dude," an inner demon told him, "It's the rack. At the end of the day, would you rather snuggle against a bony 34B, or into a whopping 36DD? Not to mention the ass on that MILF. No contest."

Upon arriving at their house, he was aware of a little, um, make that medium-sized discomfort in his shorts. "Ruri, could I use your bathroom first?"

"Sure. You know where it is, Hari-kun." Ruri dropped a speculative glance at her bikini bottom and her translucent, thin, white blouse, then at Hari's shorts. Was that a bulge she saw?

Hari made his way to the bathroom, wondering at Ruri's earlier inspection. He knew what that was about; he also did know that he had better get himself under control or risk hanging around with a pyramid in his pants.

He dropped his shorts, his underwear as well, and began to coax the blood out of that part of his body. He closed his eyes against the sensations; when he opened them his gaze went to the window.

There, poised to dive on the pool edge, was the reason behind all this fuss with his shorts. And she was smiling straight at him. Hari watched as she dove in, and with a few strokes, surfaced on the other side of the pool. She pulled herself out, water flowing down over her curves in rivulets, and adjusted the top of her two-piece, causing her breasts to bounce. Her smiling faced seemed to ask, "So, are you enjoying the show?"

Yurika's hands went to the string which held her top together, and Hari couldn't believe his eyes. More blood flowed into where he was helpless to stop it. "This is it, she's actually going to take it off in front of me!"

Suddenly the bathroom door flew open. "Oh, my, I didn't realize- but it was so quiet I-" Ruri stammered, a first for her. She froze as her mind analyzed what she had just done.

Hari turned at the sound of the door opening, then remembered what he wasn't wearing and what he was about, and wished he hadn't. "AAAAAAAACCKK!"

Ruri didn't say a word, just turned candy-red and fled from the bathroom, closing the door as she went. She didn't actually flee that far, just some feet from the bathroom. She steadied herself against the wall, breathing heavily.

"It was BIG. No, it was BIGGER than BIG. No it was way, way, BIGGER then BIG. IT WAS HUGE!" was the only thing running through her mind as she leaned against the wall for support. Then she smiled.

/I'm in love with Ruri's mom

Wait a minute Ruri can't you see, you're just not the girl for me

I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Ruri's mom/