Okay, this is a birthday present for 2 kool 2 spell 'kool' right, because I LOVE HER, and how could I not when she wrote something incredibly nice and wonderful for me? Exactly. Plus, she's one of the nicest people ever, and my sleepless twin, and just a whole bunch more to me. AND SHE ALWAYS LEAVES SUCH NICE REVIEWS! So here I am, writing this story for her birthday that's been written on my stomach all weekend. (please don't ask)

They didn't notice, but that wasn't their fault. They just didn't see what was happening in him because it wasn't there when they were together. Only when he was alone did the bad thoughts creep in and make him feel so utterly useless. They couldn't fix him because every time they came close it ran away. It was frustrating, and it was scary, and very suddenly they had the weight of the world on their shoulders because, well, Logan was their world. So what do you do when your best friend is falling apart and you can't help because you miss everytime he breaks further?

You start pointing fingers.

James sat up in his bunk, staring at the spot where light filtered under the bathroom door. He breathed slowly through his nose, trying to quell the nauseous feeling swirling inside him. He knew they had taken out all the razors and pretty much anything with a sharp edge out of the bathroom weeks ago, but he was still worried. He didn't think he would be able to handle it if Logan walked out with another mark on his arm or leg again. He could barely take it the first time.

James was scared. He would be the first to admit that seeing all those thin, long, slashes running up and down Logan's thin arms, those self-inflicted slashes no less, terrified him. He had never seen Logan look so small o so helpless before, his quaking form sobbing apologetically in his lap. His breath hitched in his throat at the thought of it. He knew Logan was wearing long sleeves still because he was embarrassed, but James couldn't be more thankful. He didn't think he would be able to stand seeing them healing, much less at all. His mouth felt dry, as he bit back tears in the dark of their room.

"This is your fault," came an angry voice from across the room. James looked over to see Kendall's green eyes, glowing in the dim light, glaring at him for all their worth. James scrunched his eyebrows together, feeling the full weight of Kendall's anger for the first time.

"What do you mean?" he asked, squinting. Whatever Kendall had to say, James really wasn't in the mood to hear it. He was worried, he was queasy, and he was sick of being strong. The tall boy was a winding knot of pent up, tangled emotion. James could feel it in the pit of his stomach, and he was ready to pounce. Too bad Kendall couldn't see it.

"I mean what I said," Kendall spat with an eye roll. "It's your fault. Logan was fine in Minnesota, but you had to drag him out here, didn't you?" The blonde's words were laced with venom, but James wasn't hurt by it. No, instead, it fueled a raw, hungry anger that had been forming in him since this whole thing had started. His eyes narrowed as Kendall continued. "Now, because of all this freaking pressure from your ridiculous dream, he's buckling and it's all because of you. If you had been a better friend then maybe-"

"Woah," James cut him off, "do not play that card on me, Knight," he snapped impersonally. "You think you're a better friend? As if. You think you can protect him and date Jo? Ha, not even. You've been leaving him hanging for months. In my opinion, and Carlos's too," he pointed a finger at the sleeping boy beneath them, "you need to get your act together. You're not good for Logan anymore, and we don't want you near him. I'm the best person for Logie, so step off." Kendall's eyebrows shot up at the last part, and he let out a slow, condescending laugh.

"You're the best person for Logie?" also using the possessive nickname the boys had for Logan. "Yeah, right. Says the guy who kissed his girlfriend!" the blond said with a snort. James recoiled for a second at the mention of a sore spot for him. That was a mistake, a fluke, a disfunction, he had admitted it, and no one was allowed to bring it up again. Anger pitted up inside him.

"Shut up! You do NOT talk about that!" he yelped, ignoring the smug look on Kendall's face. This was a fight for Logan, and James apparently needed to start expecting Kendall to play dirty. Both boys admittedly just wanted to protect their friend, but they were sort of going rough to get there. James gritted his teeth together. "At least me messing up is better than just flat out ignoring him. When's the last time you helped him with Camille? Oh that's right, never, despite you being so ready to help Carlos. Don't act as if you're not playing the favorite game and throwing Logan right under the bus!" The blonde was actually fuming at that, leaving James with a satisfied smirk plastered on his face.

"I don't have favorites," he growled, clearly infuriated that James would even make such an assumption. The heart throb just laughed.

"Okay, fine, maybe you don't have favorites among us," James said, making a loop in the air, "But you do have a habit of always going with Jo, no matter who's left in the crossfire. Face it, Kendall. We can't trust you anymore as a leader because you're always off with that bottle blonde b-"

"Well what about YOU, James? You think you're always there for Carlos and Logan? Huh, funny how you're not. Cause frankly, it's ridiculous how much time you spend in hanging with girls you don't even know! So you keep spouting off whatever garbage you want about how I don't care, and how I'm not around anymore, while I take care of Logan because you're the one hurting him. It's your stupid, stubborn, selfish ambition that cut into Logan like that, and it is NOT okay for you to let him bleed anymore. I swear, you're going to leave him alone, or he, Carlos, and I are going back to Minnesota. With. Out. You." Kendall drove it home hard, and James felt all the air leave his body. Funny how a comment like that can knock the wind out of you faster than Carlos jumping on you from a table can. He shook his head mutely.

"No," he gulped, shutting his eyes against Kendall's mocking grin. "No, I didn't do that!" He felt himself crumbling. "I just want Logan safe," he whispered almost silently. "I just want him to be okay like he was before, or... was pretending to be. I just want to see him smile on his own. I don't want to have to watch him shave and then take his razor away to lock it up so he doesn't cut himself again," he said, not noticing the tears flooding his eyes and rushing down his cheeks. He flinched when he felt arms wrapping around him. He settled into them and looked up, shocked to see Kendall as his comforter.

"I'm sorry," he said after a long draw of silence, and James sighed.

"It's okay. I know you want him better too." Kendall nodded against his shoulder.

It was impossible to describe, but there was something stronger than friendship pulling at both boys when it came to Logan. He was more than just a friend. He was more than just the friend. It was instinctive, and it was primal, and it was willing to tear apart anything that could harm their Logie in anyway. But until the day when one of them really does hurt Logan, they can put up with it.

Because only then will they have to shred something important.

Humf. I don't really think I explained it the way I wanted to... Hopefully needless to say, Kendall and James both wanted to protect Logan, and they thought they had to protect him from each other.