Okay this is the Alternative story to ' First Cut is the Deepest. This takes place right after ' The Real Folk Blues part 2' and in this one Spike is suicidal. Same weapon of choice ; cutting.

You know it's really funny , Spike is much easier to work with when it comes to angsty stuff like this because compared to any other character he is much more jaded.

Considering the whole : Julia , Vicious / stuck in the past thing you know ? I personally think this one is better then ' First is the Deepest' , even though the concept is the same , I think I 've progressed as a writer since I 've been doing it like a lot longer you know ? Well anyway please review and enjoy !! kis kis

I guess 'Your Illusion' is kinda a prelude to this story ' because it picks up right where that left off , so it you want feel free to read that story of mine and REVIEW ( I have no shame …)

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( Prayer for Love by Hitomi plays ) that is the best song ….

Everything was quiet in the bedroom of Faye Valentine . The quiet was not natural , it was a strained silence as though something terrible and forbidden hung in the air.

Something that could blend with the darkness of the air. Faye's various comforters and pillows were placed disconnectedly around the room as though they had been thrown in some kind of fit of emotion.

Sad dull green eyes fluttered open as Faye rolled to face her wall away form the door which she had woken facing . Her gorgeous face was streaked with Dried salty tears from were she'd been crying over her lost comrade. She couldn't bear to look at the door that lead outside the bebop to world any longer.

That outside world had hurt her too much. First the accident had crippled her in the already brutal galaxy and now the world had robbed her of Spike , her pillar of strength. In all honesty , Spike was what Faye was fighting for , To save him from himself , to hold him as her own .

Faye groaned and clutched tighter onto her pillow .

Just remembering that woman made her cringe. Faye had only met Julia once but she regretted having ever met her. But she had and now she knew. It would have been easier for Faye to grasp Spike's death had she not met Julia.

If Faye hadn't met Julia , she could have had a scapegoat someone to blame it all on . Faye wouldn't have to live with Julia's haunting image the way Spike had , knowing that Julia was everything and every other woman against her amounted to nothing. Faye could grieve without the knowledge that a dead woman had given Spike everything that Faye wanted to bestow upon him.

It would have been so much easier

She wanted to stay locked up in her room forever , alone , guarded from heavy handed Life. But she miserable peace was to be short lived.

" Faye , GET THAT ASS OUT OF YOUR BEDROOM NOW !!"

The familiar pounding of metal on flesh and bone drifted to Faye's ears . She wanted to tell Jet to fuck off , but she knew it must be something important so despite the constant throbbing ache in her bones from Sorrow she stumbled to the door.

Jet's voice grew louder and more powerful with every step Faye took. Everything hurt : her head , her eyes were soar forming weeping , her throat was dry and itchy from screaming into her pillow , her voice was testament to this. But her heart and ego were aching with a searing pain like no other. Faye reached the door , but failed to open it , instead she lay her head against the cold metal and sniffled back a whimper.

" What is it Jet I am kinda busy right now."

As soon as she words hit the oxygen in the room , the pounding halted with astounding speed.

A Jet had not have been able to see Faye , but he could sure as hell tell when something was wrong. In the moment , everything was wrong. The whole damned day was wrong , the call for a Hospital , Jet limping around the ship like some washed out dog , and now Faye.

Bicthy , self-centered Faye , was crying. Jet knew he would never be able to ask her the question, but he already knew the answer , Faye had been crying over Spike. As soon as that boy left Faye had fled to her room and not been seen outside since.

Jet also knew she had tried to save him , or at least stop him from walking away , she had failed miserably. Reaction to her failure was apocalyptic , she had first emptied her entire clip to her Glock into the ceiling then fled to her room screaming into her pillow and cursing herself for becoming attached Spike in the first place.

Jet softened his deep voice form , a harsh bark to a coaxing tone. His mind's eyes saw Faye slouched against the door , exactly as she was , it was gonna be a long night.

" Faye…"

In the darkness of her room , Faye ached to open the door and see what Jet wanted , but turn again she yearned to stay in her isolated world of despair. She lifted her hand to her face to roughly wipe off some of her old tears before she stood up , preparing to open the door.

" I coming out Jet , but first what is it ?"

Jet grimaced , in a way he also wished Faye could stay in her room , away from the harsh new Jet had just receive. Jet furrowed his brow and messaged his temples before taking a deep breath . He didn't know if Faye could take another metal blow , but he was about to find out.

Faye waited for Jet's reply , but it never came. The silence was cutting into her , making her nervous . His newly built courage was beginning to go sour as she tell his reply would be bad news.

" It's Spike."

Faye drew in a sharp breath , take could be heard on both sides of the door. Faye felt the hot tears begin to side on her cheeks , her bravery was failing her miserably.

" Faye ?"

On the other side of the door , Faye whimpered and took a deep breath sucked it up. In the mist of her sadness , she was angry at herself , for showing weakness to Jet so obviously. Faye let out an unsteady breath , she was going to make this easy on herself , Jet would tell her Spike was dead and then it would all be over. This was , Spike , they were talking about , nothing was ever that easy with Spike.

" Yeah ?"

Deep breath,

" He's alive"