Okay so I promised more info...

Better summary: Jack thinks about his losses and how the team have truly come together only to fall part.

Pairing(ish): I suppose you can kinda say it's Sam/Jack.

Disclaimer: If I owned this Marty wouldn't be dead and him and Sam would've had babies by now.

Warning!: Character death!

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Chapter one
Remembrance

It's scary to think that one day you might go somewhere and never come back. It's worse to think that someone you care about will go somewhere and never come back. You think 'What if they go, what will I do?' and you can almost guarantee that the only way to find this out for sure is for you to lose someone. Sometimes when people die it's with others they care about, in the arms of a loved one or just with someone. Other times people just disappear of the face of the Earth, leaving people, or not, in despair.

I lost someone.

We all knew that missions where dangerous, we learnt from experience. We all knew we were lucky in the way all of us had survived for almost seven years now. We all knew that one day that luck was going to run out.

Of all the people we could have lost we lost her. She was still young and beautiful. Sam was. Sam was. We lost so many people in the many battles and wars we fought. Whole teams killed in a single hour. They never gave in. Why did we? Losing Sam was tough on all of us; Daniel didn't stop crying for days, Teal'c deeply mourned her death, but I did what any other CO did, say some nice things at the memorial service and look for someone else.

I can remember every detail about her. Golden hair, silky to a rare touch. Crystal blue eyes that glistened everywhere she went. A smile that could light up 10000 suns. I know that sounds really corny, but loving someone isn't as easy as it sounds. Loving her, she was my Captain and I was her Colonel. That's all it was ever meant to be. We never did sleep with each other or even so much as share a passionate kiss, but I always told her that one day the regs wouldn't stand in our way and we could be together.

The USAF has strict regulations about doing things like that and with a court martial hanging over our heads we never dared doing those things that you wanted so desperately to do. Once I retired the regs wouldn't be there any more. We wouldn't only admit our feelings to an alien device to prove that we weren't under some things influence. That was hard, we lived, thank God.

It takes a lot to make me cry. Seeing her die like that was worse than the torture she endured. I knew braking down there and then would of only made her captures more satisfied with what they were doing, knowing that it was causing us all great pain. They never so much as lay a finger on us. After she died for the fifth time they let us go, however not allowing us to take her battered and bruised body. I asked for her dog tags, didn't get them. The look on the General's face when we came back one man short was scary, even worse

when we told him what had happened to Sam, I'll go into details later. Seeing him like that was bad, he never really did show emotions. But, after all, Sam was his Goddaughter.

No one really knew the true extent of our passion for each other. As a team. We were so close we could call each other family. Every battle we fought in we were by each others side. Killing for each other.

Dying for each other.

Sitting in my dingy little room remembering these things is almost sad. If only we had found out time travel instead of space travel. Bringing her back that way would be too risky but seeing her again.

That's all I ask.

Please review. This may only be a one-shot thing but if you want me to carry on just say. Thanks for reading!